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deadwrtr
26-Apr-2006, 02:56 PM
This was sent to me by my brother. I got a chuckle out of it, I hope you do too.

Here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

HLS
26-Apr-2006, 03:49 PM
How funny!

DjfunkmasterG
26-Apr-2006, 04:18 PM
:D I full agree with that list 100%. That list should be given to every woman when they reach puberty. Women should be prepared to understand this list and no ammendments shall ever be made to this list!

In fact... Will a MOD please STICKIFY this list? :D

Tullaryx
26-Apr-2006, 05:11 PM
Men should be allowed to add more rules to that. I'm sure there are quite abit more number 1 rules out there. :)

mista_mo
26-Apr-2006, 05:14 PM
Heh, thats great..it's so great that it's Emu. I should send that list to all my buds

Tullaryx
26-Apr-2006, 05:32 PM
Some of the rules there would make the exalted leader of NO MAAM (which I am a proud member of) cry with pride.

MinionZombie
26-Apr-2006, 06:18 PM
Woo, Al Bundy!

That list speaks the truth - attention all women - read the list, memorise it, understand men ... cos we ain't fussed about understanding you :D

Tullaryx
26-Apr-2006, 06:52 PM
Woo, Al Bundy!



I see you know the exalted leader. You a NO MAAM yourself? :)

Ski
26-Apr-2006, 08:33 PM
The number 1 rule in my rule book is...

you dont get a rule book!

MinionZombie
26-Apr-2006, 09:42 PM
Heck yes I am *flushes his toilet*.

(That show is great, I'll have to catch up on the latest box sets to add to my collection of 1 through 3.)

Tullaryx
26-Apr-2006, 10:24 PM
If you search Ebay, you can find NO MAAM t-shirts with the group's 10 Commandments. :)

MissJacksonCA
13-Jun-2007, 05:37 AM
That is so funny and true

darth los
13-Jun-2007, 06:54 AM
This was sent to me by my brother. I got a chuckle out of it, I hope you do too.

Here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


:lol: :lol:

That should be written in stone, codified and placed on an altar somewhere. Truer words were never written.