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Thread: What movie remake would you... "un-make"?

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    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
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    What movie remake would you... "un-make"?

    I guess this is the right place to post this. Mods, feel free to move this topic if you feel it fits better somewhere else.



    It's time we discussed this in more detail. Everyone, I'm sure, knows about my disdain for remakes, so I figured this would be a good topic to discuss. Are there was any remake(s) that you wish you could wipe from existence? If so, which would they be? No remakes are off limits, they can be horror or even non-horror.

    I'll start with the first 5 off the top of my head:


    RZ's Halloween & Halloween 2
    The Wicker Man
    Nightmare on Elm Street
    The Thing

    I have plenty more I'd like to see gone, but we'll start with just those. What do you think?
    Last edited by LouCipherr; 13-Mar-2013 at 04:18 PM. Reason: spelling

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    Just Married AcesandEights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LouCipherr View Post
    The Thing
    Saw this remake this weekend...talk about limp film making. I'll usually totally forgive a remake if it's at least makes for fun film-going, but this pretty much fumbled an awesome set-up, by making a by-the-numbers, flimsy as fook (<-- channeling, MZ), cardboard cutout of the original with absolutely zero tension.

    Complete waste of my time.

    Talk about pissing all over potential and adding yet another reason At The Mountains of Madness will never be made.

    "Men choose as their prophets those who tell them that their hopes are true." --Lord Dunsany

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    through another dimension bassman's Avatar
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    Chalk up another vote for the recent The Thing. Not an absolutely horrible movie, it could have been much worse, but it's just so unecessary that it leaves the viewer thinking "what's the f*cking point?!?".

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    'The Thing' was a prequel, not a remake.

    Have to say that I actually thought it was ok. Utterly pointless though.

    As for unmaking remakes:

    Psycho
    The Wicker Man (fkn' ell)
    Halloween I and II
    Total Recall (not that the first one was that great)
    Dawn of the Dead (here we go!!!)
    Day of the Dead
    Conan The Barbarian
    Sahara (managed to take a crap Bogart propaganda vehicle and make it even worse)
    I'm runnin' this monkey farm now Frankenstein.....

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    through another dimension bassman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shootemindehead View Post
    'The Thing' was a prequel, not a remake.
    Sure, it was about the Norweigan camp, but c'mon. That was just their loop hole and excuse to call it a prequel. Essentially, they used the untold story from Carpenter's flick, basically told the same story in a less enjoyable way, then gave it the exact same title. It was a remake....

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    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bassman View Post
    Sure, it was about the Norweigan camp, but c'mon. That was just their loop hole and excuse to call it a prequel. Essentially, they used the untold story from Carpenter's flick, basically told the same story in a less enjoyable way, then gave it the exact same title. It was a remake....
    ^^ This.



    Shootem - good picks. I forgot about Psycho and Total Recall. Psycho certainly deserves to be on the list, but since I haven't seen Total Recall yet (and don't really have a desire to), I can't really comment on that one.
    Last edited by LouCipherr; 13-Mar-2013 at 07:43 PM.

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    Just Married AcesandEights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LouCipherr View Post
    Shootem - good picks.
    No, that list is f*ckin' garbage.





















































































    Dawn '04 is great!

    "Men choose as their prophets those who tell them that their hopes are true." --Lord Dunsany

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    Team Rick MinionZombie's Avatar
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    Clearly Aces isn't channelling the MZ vibe enough - Yawn04 would be right up there as number one un-make for me. What a load of old buggery bollocks that movie was! I'll stop there though, my hatred of it is well documented.

    Add to that The Fog remake, Day08, The Thing (when is a remake not a remake? when it's a prequel that only wants to be an immitation, while simultaneously ignoring the entire Modus Operandi of the titular beasty ), The Wicker Man, A Nightmare on Elm Street (good god that was awful), and any Night remake/cash-in that isn't Tom Savini's 1990 version.

    There's more out there that'll spring to mind, I'm sure, but not just now...

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    HpotD Curry Champion krakenslayer's Avatar
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    I'da said Conan the Barbarian, but thankfully that one actually is getting un-made: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmb...-the-barbarian

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    Quote Originally Posted by LouCipherr View Post
    ^^ This.



    Shootem - good picks. I forgot about Psycho and Total Recall. Psycho certainly deserves to be on the list, but since I haven't seen Total Recall yet (and don't really have a desire to), I can't really comment on that one.
    Don't Lou...just don't lad.

    That's going to be a long "I've shamed myself" post.



    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by AcesandEights View Post
    Dawn '04 is great!
    GET 'IM!!!!

    Actually, the older I get, the less I dislike '04. I must be mellowing.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by MinionZombie View Post
    A Nightmare on Elm Street (good god that was awful).
    Aye, I forgot that. What a bucket of pish that was.
    I'm runnin' this monkey farm now Frankenstein.....

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    Zombie Flesh Eater EvilNed's Avatar
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    The Fog, Day 08, the upcoming Suspiria film...

    Infact, most, if not all, of the horror / scifi remakes these last 8-10 years. With a few exceptions. I'd let Dawn 04 stay, for instance, as it's so much it's own film and actually did get a lot of praise when it came out.

    In general, I would like to see less popcorn horror flicks and more slow gothic horror flicks.

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    certified super rad Danny's Avatar
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    I'm gonna say the crazies if only because i dug it, but felt it really could have been better done with a bigger budget, the second half was just 4 people walking through empty open spaces for a large part.


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    Webmaster Neil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shootemindehead View Post
    Total Recall (not that the first one was that great)
    Ban +1
    Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. [click for more]
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    Team Rick MinionZombie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    I'm gonna say the crazies if only because i dug it, but felt it really could have been better done with a bigger budget, the second half was just 4 people walking through empty open spaces for a large part.
    Now I'd disagree here. The Crazies, while it has faults and does some things worse than the original, also has a lot going for it and does some other things better than the original. So I'd put it on level-pegging with the original. I was all up for hating it from the get-go, and then I saw some clips and trailers and I started to thaw out on it, and then me and a mate went to the cinema to see it and we enjoyed the hell out of it. I've been meaning to give it another spin on my Blu-Ray, but haven't got around to it yet. It's one of the handful of remakes that have been worthwhile - and I'm a fan of the original flick.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neil View Post
    Ban +1


    Aye, the original Total Recall was kick arse. A pulpy, gooey classic.

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    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AcesandEights View Post
    Dawn '04 is great!


    Quote Originally Posted by MinionZombie View Post
    Add to that The Fog remake, Day08, The Thing (when is a remake not a remake? when it's a prequel that only wants to be an immitation, while simultaneously ignoring the entire Modus Operandi of the titular beasty ), The Wicker Man, A Nightmare on Elm Street (good god that was awful), and any Night remake/cash-in that isn't Tom Savini's 1990 version.
    YES! The Fog remake. What a piece of shit that was. Ditto Day08.

    Quote Originally Posted by shootemindehead View Post
    Don't Lou...just don't lad.

    That's going to be a long "I've shamed myself" post.
    While that could be quite an entertaining writeup and read, I really don't want to subject myself to it. At least not yet. Maybe it''ll sting less if I watch it a few years from now.



    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    I'm gonna say the crazies if only because i dug it, but felt it really could have been better done with a bigger budget, the second half was just 4 people walking through empty open spaces for a large part.
    Quote Originally Posted by Neil View Post
    Ban +1


    I really liked the crazies for some reason. I wasn't expecting too, and I've never really been an Timothy Olyphantastic fan (shoots look at MZ and laughs) but I kinda dug it.


    Here's a few more:

    Friday the 13th
    Dark Shadows
    21 Jump Street
    Fright Night (what a pitiful job done on this one, too. Only redeeming factor was Serandon's cameo! )
    Let Me In
    Clash of the Titans
    The Wolfman


    Looking back over the past few years, it almost seems as if there's more remakes than originals coming out.

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