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Thread: Uwe Boll's "Zombie Massacre" (film)

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    Webmaster Neil's Avatar
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    Uwe Boll's "Zombie Massacre" (film)

    If he were directing, then the films tag line, "There is no hope" would be spot on. But he's only producing, so maybe there's some hope yet!

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2081438/
    Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. [click for more]
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    Webmaster Neil's Avatar
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    Instant contacts? - Check!
    Instant dinosaur roar? - Check!
    Instant dental problems? - Check!

    Run of the mill daft f***ing stupid zombie flick? - CHECK!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dPtkmBQGWQ
    Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. [click for more]
    -Carl Sagan

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    Desiderata Satanicus Andy's Avatar
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    You sound suprised?

    I wish someone would massacre uwe boll.

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    Dead 3pidemiC's Avatar
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    Should be as good as Day of the Dead's proper sequel: Contagion.

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    Twitching krisvds's Avatar
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    This is by those two Italians who also did 'Eaters'. If the quality of that effort is anything to go by it's best to stay far far away from this one.
    The good old days when 'italian zombie flick' actually stood for something are long past.
    Last edited by krisvds; 17-May-2012 at 11:22 AM. Reason: .

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    Desiderata Satanicus Andy's Avatar
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    I had to watch it muted becuase im at work so ive maybe missed something but are they even supposed to be zombies? I Know the movie is called 'Zombie Massacre' but still.. they looked more like some kind toxic waste induced mutant and that would make more sense frankly.

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    Webmaster Neil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    I had to watch it muted becuase im at work so ive maybe missed something but are they even supposed to be zombies? I Know the movie is called 'Zombie Massacre' but still.. they looked more like some kind toxic waste induced mutant and that would make more sense frankly.
    I suspect they went with "Zombie Massacre" because "Toxic Waste Induced Mutant Massacre" wouldn't fit on the poster!
    Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. [click for more]
    -Carl Sagan

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    First there were shamblers. Then there were runners. And now Uwe Boll, the most innovative and influential film makers of our time has created the ultimate terrifying evolution of the undead: the stationary strike a pose zombie! His type of genius only comes around once a generation.

    I am going to see this movie because ducks are cool, especially slow motion ducks.

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    Just been bitten Christopher Jon's Avatar
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    Toxic Waste Induced Mutant Massacre
    I'd buy that for a dollar.

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    Chasing Prey MoonSylver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christopher Jon View Post
    I'd buy that for a dollar.
    "Oh, Bixby!"




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    Desiderata Satanicus Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christopher Jon View Post
    I'd buy that for a dollar.
    That is exactly what those zombies remind me of though..


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    If you take in a flick knowing that it's a Uwe Boll outing then you get what you deserve.

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    Being Attacked
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    I thought his flick Rampage was pretty fun...

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    Twitching krisvds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    That is exactly what those zombies remind me of though..

    Love that Toxie!

    To be fair to Boll he probably has very little to do with this film apart from the financing and distribution. The two directors, Luca Boni and Marco Ristori, had more or less finished 'Eaters' before Boll stepped in to help distribute their film. It tried to channel some Escape from NY and Day of the dead, was technically adequate but nothing more. Horrible script, serious pacing issues, waaayyyy too serious for its own good, and so on. This seems to be more of the same. I hate that overused filter turning everything dark blue/whatever colour you want.
    Zombie apocalypse = by far the most difficult genre to get right.

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    Being Attacked Rumsfeld's Avatar
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    Average Uwe Boll Rotten Tomatoes rating: 5-6%.

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