Rules of Surviving Zombieland (fill in the blanks)

[ZomBub]

So I figured, 'What better crowd to flesh out this incomplete list than the patrons at the Homepage of the Dead forums?' Have at it, fellas... The Rules Rule #1: Cardio. "When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties." Rule #2: Double Tap. "In those moments when you're not sure the undead are really dead dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean one more clean shot to the head." Rule #3: Beware of Bathrooms. "It wasn't long before the zombies began to get clever; when you're at your most vulnerable, somehow they could just smell it. Don't let them catch you with your pants down." Rule #4: Seatbelts. "Pretty basic." Rule #5: Rule #6: Cast Iron Skillet. "A zombie takes one of these to the head, he isn't getting up. . . . When you're done, you can make a Denver omelet."* Rule #7: Travel Light. "And I don't mean just luggage." Rule #8: Rule #9: Rule #10: Rule #11: Rule #12: Bounty. "It is thick. It is quilted. It's absorbent. . . . There are all sorts of unwanted fluids everywhere."* Rule #13: Rule #14: Rule #15: Bowling Ball. "Nothing says massive head trauma like a bowling ball. (Preferably sixteen pounds.) . . . This you can drop from above, or else you can swing it in a see-saw."* Rule #16: Rule #17: Don't be a Hero. "Maybe the most important rule of all." Rule #18: Limber Up. Rule #19: Rule #20: Ziplock Bags. "You've got enough problems; moisture shouldn't be one of them." ** Rule #21: Rule #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out. Rule #23: Rule #24: Rule #25: Rule #26: Rule #27: Rule #28: Rule #29: The Buddy System. "Take a queue from our zombie neighbors and have each other's backs." Rule #30: Rule #31: Check the Back Seat. Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things. Rule #33: Swiss Army Knife. "It has a magnifying glass, a ball-point pen, a little thermometer (it's celsius), a fish scaler, it has a pruning blade, a miniature reamer . . . . gets out the piece of orange that I have stuck in my tooth." * Zombieland theatrical promo trailers. ** Ziplock Bags is from the Zombieland deleted scenes, but was originally rule number two, and has therefore been relegated to rule number twenty here. Get brief on what's tasty, what's cheesy, and what's plain old rancid, at Bub's Zombie Movie Reviews.

[soulsyfn]

1.Cardio 2.The Double Tap 3.Beware of Bathrooms 4.Wear Seat Belts 5.No Attachments 6.The “Skillet” 7.Travel Light 8.Get a Kick Ass Partner 9.With your Bare Hands 10.Don’t Swing Low 11.Use Your Foot 12.Bounty Paper Towels 13.Shake it Off 14.Always carry a change of underwear 15.Bowling Ball 16.Opportunity Knocks 17.Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero) 18.Limber Up 19.Break it Up 20.It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint 21.Avoid Strip Clubs 22.When in doubt Know your way out 23.Zipplock 24.Use your thumbs 25.Shoot First 26.A little sun screen never hurt anybody 27.Incoming! 28.Double-Knot your Shoes 29.The Buddy System 30.Pack your stain stick 31.Check the back seat 32.Enjoy the little things 33.Swiss army Knife

[Trin]

If it looks too good to be true, she is.

[SRP76]

Well, 5,8,9, and 10 are free, so I'll do those. #5. Avoid the Ninja - this means stay away from the Big Daddy types. Despite being dead, they're superior to you in every way. #8. Run from the Military - as we all know from movies, anyone in the armed forces is automatically an inept retard, and they'll get you eaten. Only newscasters and college students and such have any kind of survival skills. #9. I'm Going to Disneyworld! - because nothing's more productive than braving a horde of ghouls to ride some dipshit contraption at a theme park. #10. Channel Lance Armstrong - get a bike. Why? Because nobody's ever used one in a zombie flick before. You can set a trend.

[ZomBub]

#10. Channel Lance Armstrong - get a bike. Why? Because nobody's ever used one in a zombie flick before. You can set a trend. Seriously. You won't get caught in traffic jams, and it's lighter than a motorcycle (plus you don't have to look for fuel or carry a bunch of its heavy, liquid weight). Though, if you can find one, a bicycle with optional motor would give you the best of both worlds, and you can pedal manually even after you run out of gas. Get a little trailer-cart and you'll have room for all your loot, too. Definitely worthy of The Rules.

[Trin]

#8. Run from the Military - as we all know from movies, anyone in the armed forces is automatically an inept retard, and they'll get you eaten. Only newscasters and college students and such have any kind of survival skills. #10. Channel Lance Armstrong - get a bike. Why? Because nobody's ever used one in a zombie flick before. You can set a trend. #8 - Good call. According to movies the military will rip you off or rape you within 5 minutes of the crisis starting. #10 - And it builds cardio!!

[DEAD BEAT]

So I figured, 'What better crowd to flesh out this incomplete list than the patrons at the Homepage of the Dead forums?' Have at it, fellas... The Rules Rule #1: Cardio. "When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties." Rule #2: Double Tap. "In those moments when you're not sure the undead are really dead dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean one more clean shot to the head." Rule #3: Beware of Bathrooms. "It wasn't long before the zombies began to get clever; when you're at your most vulnerable, somehow they could just smell it. Don't let them catch you with your pants down." Rule #4: Seatbelts. "Pretty basic." Rule #5: Rule #6: Cast Iron Skillet. "A zombie takes one of these to the head, he isn't getting up. . . . When you're done, you can make a Denver omelet."* Rule #7: Travel Light. "And I don't mean just luggage." Rule #8: Rule #9: Rule #10: Rule #11: Rule #12: Bounty. "It is thick. It is quilted. It's absorbent. . . . There are all sorts of unwanted fluids everywhere."* Rule #13: Rule #14: Rule #15: Bowling Ball. "Nothing says massive head trauma like a bowling ball. (Preferably sixteen pounds.) . . . This you can drop from above, or else you can swing it in a see-saw."* Rule #16: Rule #17: Don't be a Hero. "Maybe the most important rule of all." Rule #18: Limber Up. Rule #19: Rule #20: Ziplock Bags. "You've got enough problems; moisture shouldn't be one of them." ** Rule #21: Rule #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out. Rule #23: Rule #24: Rule #25: Rule #26: Rule #27: Rule #28: Rule #29: The Buddy System. "Take a queue from our zombie neighbors and have each other's backs." Rule #30: Rule #31: Check the Back Seat. Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things. Rule #33: Swiss Army Knife. "It has a magnifying glass, a ball-point pen, a little thermometer (it's celsius), a fish scaler, it has a pruning blade, a miniature reamer . . . . gets out the piece of orange that I have stuck in my tooth." * Zombieland theatrical promo trailers. ** Ziplock Bags is from the Zombieland deleted scenes, but was originally rule number two, and has therefore been relegated to rule number twenty here. Get brief on what's tasty, what's cheesy, and what's plain old rancid, at Bub's Zombie Movie Reviews. Rule #30 is zip up ur fly or the living dead'll b havn' themselves a Dodger Dog!

[ZomBub]

Rule #30 is zip up ur fly or the living dead'll b havn' themselves a Dodger Dog! Ja, I've seen at least three zombie flicks where some poor schmuck got his schmuck bitten off. Sad, really...