How would you react to this?

[Terran]

...*shrugs*.... Marriage is for the weak! Prenuptials are for the forward-thinking, pessimistic weak .....Becoming a robot is for Terran..... Note to self: speaking about one's self in the third person is not a good way to appear a sane. Especially when it involves becoming a robot! On a more serious note.....(good transition Terran! *pats back*)....I don’t think pre-nups are necessarily a bad thing...I think they can be a very good thing because if the marriage ever does fall apart it makes the separation a less painful and less damaging transition for all parties involved (kids, man, woman).... There’s varying degrees of pre-nuptials and some of them are quite reasonable and even favorable for both parties... The only thing that I think really irks people about prenups is that it pretty much dilutes or smudges the idealization of what marriage is....Its hard to make it romantic or spontaneous with a pre-nup....and it makes that whole "till death do us part" sound funny..... The whole "marriage takes a lot of work" isn’t really something that stands up .... because a person can only be responcible for their own actions and feelings....A person cant make their partner desire the same level of dedication and emotional investment that they feel.... one person could do tons of work to maintain and strengthen a relationship but if the other party just isn’t interested in doing anything to strengthen or continue the relationship there really isn’t anything the one person can do.....

[MissJacksonCA]

When you hit a bump in the road with someone it speaks volumes about who they are when they either decide to fix the problem or evacuate. Thats what I mean when you have to make your marriage work. A lot of people divorce because they dont want to commit to resolving their porblems but thats all dependant on whether they love the person and want to. People who dont take marriage seriously are the ones who quit before trying to fix their problems. Often people just could care less. I can't agree that prenups make everything come divorce time cheeky because the cause of the divorce could create a vengeful streak in someone and make them attempt to void the PN in search for something more to get back at their partner. I do agree however that it makes the til death thing seem funny.... I also love a Priest who says 'I now pronounce you man and wife' instead of husband and wife. Its like you till get to be you but I have to be someone else now...

[AcesandEights]

When you hit a bump in the road with someone it speaks volumes about who they are when they either decide to fix the problem or evacuate. Thats what I mean when you have to make your marriage work. This is so true and a point I was ready to bring up in regards to Terran's above post, but you seemed to encapsulate what I wanted to say so nicely. Now, I'm not saying there aren't times or situations when marriages will not work, I'm saying that people need to be a little less mercenary, short-sighted and selfish. Then again, the heart is a fickle and capricious beast, oft overdosed on hormones or high on vanity-dependent ego-stroking and I now understand why so many well-ingrained religious strictures grew up to reinforce the 'sanctity' of marriage. However, we don't currently reside in the agrarian and subsistence-based lifestyles of the past, so the need to keep a family unit together for the economic well-being of wife and children (and, the community) does not exist and the fate of any marriage should rest on the personal equity of those involved--the emotional health of all members of the family. Sometimes it's healthier for all if a couple divorces, sometimes healthier if they work at it and stay together, but I feel from my extremely limited experience that the people are almost always better off if they at least try and work on the matter to explore what has happened, what went wrong, whether there is anything salvagable and where they want to move towards. Honsetly, I feel, most people just runaway from the problem and don't really deal with it efficiently (a fairly natural human reaction for a lot of us). Oddly enough (and returning to an idea mentioned earlier in this diatribe) the fact that marriage does not need to be an arrangement about chattle and economics in our Westernized modern world, makes me believe that it should be about emotional aspects more-so at this point in human history, than it ever has been, but that's me discounting things like gold diggers, men who want trophy wives and people bowing to some antiquated idea of how people have to live (grow up, get a job, get married, have kids, become succesful, see children off to their lives, die). Sorry for the ramble.

[_liam_]

i think pre nups are an excellent idea. i dont see why the person you married is entitled to the money you worked for yourself. "oh i slept with you a zillion times and went out for dinner & on holiday with you, this obviously had a direct effect on how well you did your job" i see what hellsing is saying about it being a bit dodgy and kind of an admission of not having total trust in someone just before you commit to what is supposed to be an eternal partnership, but seriously, dont be silly now, if you really really trust & love each other, then you wont mind; a) signing something that means you wont stitch them out of money at some point - after all, you love them, you dont want to stitch them up b) the idea of considering the idea that maybe one day you might break up shouldnt be too upsetting if you are so convinced that you are meant to be that you are getting married. i dont see it as indicative that you are cynical about the marriage anymore than taking out life insurance makes you a hypochondriac... or that asking someone to marry you in the first place is indicative that you think they will run off and you need some legally binding paperwork as a guarantee they wont

[darth los]

i think pre nups are an excellent idea. i dont see why the person you married is entitled to the money you worked for yourself. "oh i slept with you a zillion times and went out for dinner & on holiday with you, this obviously had a direct effect on how well you did your job" i see what hellsing is saying about it being a bit dodgy and kind of an admission of not having total trust in someone just before you commit to what is supposed to be an eternal partnership, but seriously, dont be silly now, if you really really trust & love each other, then you wont mind; a) signing something that means you wont stitch them out of money at some point - after all, you love them, you dont want to stitch them up b) the idea of considering the idea that maybe one day you might break up shouldnt be too upsetting if you are so convinced that you are meant to be that you are getting married. i dont see it as indicative that you are cynical about the marriage anymore than taking out life insurance makes you a hypochondriac... or that asking someone to marry you in the first place is indicative that you think they will run off and you need some legally binding paperwork as a guarantee they wont I'm with on this one liam, good points, especially the one about life insurance. You have to be prepared for things in life. I mean, It's Life!!! and we all know sh it happens. You'd be a fool not to be prepared.

[MissJacksonCA]

This website has to be the best one i've visited since the early days of college club back in 1999... i've been coming here since like 2002ish and even though a lot of members are gone and a lot are new the people here are always really awesome because they have such wonderful opinions that may clash but are intelligent and refreshing... its always fun when people agree but its more so when people continue to add on to whatever begins... y'all are great... except neil he scares me... do you ever notice how his eye kinda follows you around the room?

[darth los]

This website has to be the best one i've visited since the early days of college club back in 1999... i've been coming here since like 2002ish and even though a lot of members are gone and a lot are new the people here are always really awesome because they have such wonderful opinions that may clash but are intelligent and refreshing... its always fun when people agree but its more so when people continue to add on to whatever begins... y'all are great... except neil he scares me... do you ever notice how his eye kinda follows you around the room? I find it more refreshing that we can discuss things and have diverse ipinions on topics without acting like children. A forum like that is virtually impossible to find. There was a thread a little while back asking why HPOTD didn't advertise. We pretty much came to the consensus that if it did these place would overflow with"numpties" who'd spam up the boards. I wouldn't want it any other way.

[Dtothe3]

There was a thread a little while back asking why HPOTD didn't advertise. We pretty much came to the consensus that if it did these place would overflow with"numpties" who'd spam up the boards. I wouldn't want it any other way. My nickname is numpty As for pre-nups, my view centers around the idea that when you say "I love you" there really is no way back (not that it's a bad thing). If you can say I do to someone, then really why is it so much skin off folks noses to pick up the pieces when things go wrong? Marriages go through sweet patches, rough patches, nasty patches and (if you kiss and make up) wet patches. Jumping ship at the office or crap like that just seems like you're avoiding the issues at hand. It takes two people to make a marriage work methinks. Suggestions for a happy relationship/marriage; 1. Never sleep on a problem. If it gets brought up, mentioned or anything, it's dealt with there and then, preferably over a cuppa tea. Do not ever say "I have a problem with you but I don't want to talk about it right now". 2. Make time for each other. In this hectic world it's hard to find five minutes to share, let alone an evening. But make the time. It's worth it. 3. Hold hands. Don't ask, just do. 4. Remember to go out and see you're own friends. It's important to have lives away from each other. Give you're partner time to see their friends. 5. Argue from time to time. There's no need to bottle crap up. You're each others world punching bag (not literally). 6. Anger and Horniness are quite close together. good arguments lead to mind blowing sex. If there are no arguments, you may need to carefully start one... 7. Ask to meet the parents early, her mother should give you a good idea of droopage potential, so make the most of them while they're above her waist. Yeah I was bored :P

[darth los]

I think that #4 on your list is very important. if people aren't allowed to be themselves they're going to be very unhappy. If the person can't love you for who you are, it's very difficult to make it work.