How do you manage your rage?

[SymphonicX]

OK so I've noticed since this year started that I've found myself wound up pretty quickly. We got a kitty the other week and by and large he's an angel - but he can send me into spastic fits of flying rage because of his persistence - of course I'm not beating my ktteh! I get racked with guilt just for shouting or hissing at him - but with so much stuff recently I've found that I'm like fantasising about really dark stuff due to frustration...like I feel I could lash out at some point and this REALLY isn't me. I have neither the stature nor the temperament to support these bouts of rage and nor do I want to see it grow into something I can't control. It's like I see RED so much quicker than I used to, and I feel a proper monster boiling away inside me - I've never needed to control rage because, quite frankly, I've never felt a victim to it. I'm usually the pacificist, chilled out guy, who can laugh at most things. I dunno, it's been a stressing year with finances and home owning and employment worries but ultimately I just want to know what techniques you employ to subside your rage or to vent it in useful ways?

[Eyebiter]

To deal with the cat, water is a great deterrent.

[Trin]

My suggestion - don't have kids.

[Mike70]

drugs, man. lots and lots of drugs. though i do find that engaging in sociopathic & psychotic behavior in a consequence free environment, otherwise known as playing video games, helps too.

[Skippy911sc]

These are the current times we live in. Nothing but negativity on the news, the jobs market is in the crapper, money is tight. I take my rage out on video games. It also puts me in my place at times . I don't care for cats so that would be an issue easily resolved, but I do have three huge, hairy, smelly dogs that drive me up the wall. I let them out... stand there and wait for them, they don't come back. I go sit down... then "Bark Bark Bark". I get up go let 1 of them in. Call the others...nothing. Go sit down, "Bark Bark Bark". Go back up stairs let that one in... call the other... nothing. Go back... oh you get the point.

[Ghost Of War]

40mg of Fluoxetine daily for the past 18 months. I suffer from clinical depression, and rage can be a symptom. I find that taking the dog out for a walk for an hour helps sometimes, I like being alone for a bit, helps me clear my head. Also, music helps me A LOT. I'd throw my iPod on and listen to thrash metal all day long if I could, but work, family, etc. puts a stop to that. (that sounded really selfish, but it's true). A wife that loves me is the best thing though, she understands what is wrong with me, and although it must be really hard for her sometimes, when I get really badly depressed, she's a fucking angel. I'm not saying you should start taking prozac, but having someone to talk to helps.

[SymphonicX]

Actually there may be a point with the video games thing - this year I've been totally disappointed with video games and as a result haven't really gotten into any - so I've purposely avoided giving it any real time....would explain why it's only a problem until recently!

[JDFP]

I'm a drunk. When I become stressed out or just try to shut everything out for awhile I will buy a 12 pack of beer (generally Milwaukee's Best) and kick back and watch a few movies and just drink until I pass out. It usually works well in helping to allieve stress/problems. Yeah, I'm probably an alcoholic actually... I should get into video games like the rest of you, but I'm too broke to dish out money to buy any game systems or games... Hmm, maybe if I stopped drinking 3-4 nights a week and saved the money that would have otherwise gone towards beer I'd have more money to buy a game system. Okay, anyway... this stream of consciousness has been brought to you by -- j.p.

[AcesandEights]

How about a secluded getaway to the mountains? Symph, do you know what's causing this uptick in negative aggressive moods? Not just your cat, but what's letting you get so wound up that your cat can set you off or engender such negative emotional responses? If it's just a period of stress that you're passing through due to known issues (the need to work double overtime, school piling up on you, working away from family and loved ones for an extended period of time etc.), that's one thing. But if you're not sure, then you probably need to take stock of what's up in your life and identify what has you so out of sorts. Attempt to clearly identify the root cause and see what can be done about that, everything else is just symptom management.

[Tricky]

Having OCD & being prone to depression, I get irritable often but I never lash out so it tends to bottle up inside me & over time I get very tired, brain fogged, and open to attack from my OCD, which leaves me with horrible intrusive thoughts at times & a load of anxiety, its self perpetuating! I would never ever hurt anyone, I've never been in a fight as an adult (apart from getting punched by chavs while drunk at xmas) & I dont intend on ever taking my anger out on someone physically. But things like the whole Raoul Moat & derrick bird stories in the news recently terrify me in case they were dealing with the same thoughts I suffer with, and it makes me very scared of my own anger I research relaxation techniques & try things out to see what works for me, playing guitar, a long hot bath, breathing exercises, weight training, walking in the countryside & reading help me out no end, but what works one day sometimes doesnt work the next. Sometimes computer games help, but they can stress me out just as much at times, unless I play a nice relaxing city building game or something. Sometimes playing aggressive & gory games makes me worry about why I'm playing them, so I tend to stay away from those as well & I try to avoid the extremely violent films in case they trigger off the shitty brain farts, I tie myself in knots with these thoughts sometimes The fact I worry about these aggressive thoughts & that they make me very anxious rather than enjoying them is a good indicator that I wont act on them so is agreed by the shrinks, but it doesnt make me any less scared of them when im stuck with them!

[Mike70]

How about a secluded getaway to the mountains? Symph, do you know what's causing this uptick in negative aggressive moods? Not just your cat, but what's letting you get so wound up that your cat can set you off or engender such negative emotional responses? If it's just a period of stress that you're passing through due to known issues (the need to work double overtime, school piling up on you, working away from family and loved ones for an extended period of time etc.), that's one thing. But if you're not sure, then you probably need to take stock of what's up in your life and identify what has you so out of sorts. Attempt to clearly identify the root cause and see what can be done about that, everything else is just symptom management. i think it's 2012. the mayans are sending signals through time in an effort to drive symph mad and bring on the coming apocalypse.

[SymphonicX]

How about a secluded getaway to the mountains? Symph, do you know what's causing this uptick in negative aggressive moods? Not just your cat, but what's letting you get so wound up that your cat can set you off or engender such negative emotional responses? If it's just a period of stress that you're passing through due to known issues (the need to work double overtime, school piling up on you, working away from family and loved ones for an extended period of time etc.), that's one thing. But if you're not sure, then you probably need to take stock of what's up in your life and identify what has you so out of sorts. Attempt to clearly identify the root cause and see what can be done about that, everything else is just symptom management. I think you've got a point there - it's hard to know if I was under the same stress before but had an outlet for it - or has it grown from nothing recently... I mean recently I've spent a lot of time away from my fiancee and we've both been quite stressed what with work and shit like that - and what makes it worse is when we don't see each other for ages, we tend to express the negative stuff because we've both not had each other for support so it all comes out at once.... I think it's just loads of really small things that have piled on top of each other - I'm not sure, I was partly putting it down to getting older, like an inner progression in my head that ultimately means I'm a bit grumpier or more impatient....hence why I've given up playing games...maybe I just convinced myself I've outgrown things when in reality I've just let everything get on top of me and don't feel enthusiastic for my stress outlets anymore.... and yeah spot on with the whole symptom management thing - I really should think about how this stuff is ravelled - where the root causes are and if they are in fact just a sort of periodical shift in my life or indeed it's small changes which have snowballed into big stresses - such as the impending fear culture of losing my job or having a lot of maintenance to do on my property, shit like that.....thanks for your post ---------- Post added at 05:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:06 PM ---------- i think it's 2012. the mayans are sending signals through time in an effort to drive symph mad and bring on the coming apocalypse. I knew there was a reason I was building odd shaped pyramids out of mash potato! ---------- Post added at 05:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:11 PM ---------- Having OCD & being prone to depression, I get irritable often but I never lash out so it tends to bottle up inside me & over time I get very tired, brain fogged, and open to attack from my OCD, which leaves me with horrible intrusive thoughts at times & a load of anxiety, its self perpetuating! I would never ever hurt anyone, I've never been in a fight as an adult (apart from getting punched by chavs while drunk at xmas) & I dont intend on ever taking my anger out on someone physically. But things like the whole Raoul Moat & derrick bird stories in the news recently terrify me in case they were dealing with the same thoughts I suffer with, and it makes me very scared of my own anger I research relaxation techniques & try things out to see what works for me, playing guitar, a long hot bath, breathing exercises, weight training, walking in the countryside & reading help me out no end, but what works one day sometimes doesnt work the next. Sometimes computer games help, but they can stress me out just as much at times, unless I play a nice relaxing city building game or something. Sometimes playing aggressive & gory games makes me worry about why I'm playing them, so I tend to stay away from those as well & I try to avoid the extremely violent films in case they trigger off the shitty brain farts, I tie myself in knots with these thoughts sometimes The fact I worry about these aggressive thoughts & that they make me very anxious rather than enjoying them is a good indicator that I wont act on them so is agreed by the shrinks, but it doesnt make me any less scared of them when im stuck with them! I'd say shrinks would be spot on - the most likely people to be mass murders don't exactly display the level of empathy and care that you seem to apply to your own thought processes - it's being unaware of this stuff which is far more dangerous.... I know what you mean about the dark stuff though - like I listen to metal, watch gory horror films and even read dark books - if I can migrate to the darker side of entertainment, I do it straight away - and sometimes I just cant get my head around 29 year old disney kids who only watch shit like The Lion King.... but then it's not like 1984 isn't dark, so y'know - there's value in the dark stuff - sometimes I wonder to myself why I feel physically revolted at the prospect of watching a kids film though....

[slickwilly13]

I manage my rage by pounding on a pillow or my 130 lbs Thai bag. It beats going to jail.

[DubiousComforts]

Hopefully, a lot better than this freak.

[MikePizzoff]

How do I manage my rage? The stupid way. By punching holes in the wall or a door until I [re]fuck up my boxers fracture.