Greetings and salutations and, um, junk.

With awesome opening statements like that one, you can certainly tell that I'm an aspiring writer, can't you? Feel the win oozing out of that "and, um, junk" part.

Anyway, I'm new to these forums, but I've recently completely a novel called Zombies by the Numbers: The Writer's Cut. This heartwarming tale of love, loss, and the ultimate triumph of the human spirit is sure to be listed beside the greats such as Paradise Lost and anything by Charles Dickens (just pick one, they were all equally mind-numbingly boring).

Nah, I'm just kidding. Zombies by the Numbers is a deliberate attempt to smash horror and humor into some sort of massive Play-Dohish blob of lovin'. The main character, a fine upstanding gentleman going by the name James Pool, is a convicted serial killer that was locked away in an asylum after committing some of the most heinous murders the United States had ever seen. Now, freed into a world full of potential undead victims that can't press charges, he creates a daring plan: he is going to become the greatest serial killer of zombies that has ever lived.

James is actually so gosh darn insane that he even realizes that his every action is being read about by the reader. Not only does he completely break down the Fourth Wall, he urinates on its bricks while doing so. You know, just to be sure. He makes the reader an unwitting (and probably unwilling) partner in crime.

This book isn't published yet, as it is currently being shopped around to agents in hopes that it will be picked up by one. Is this post a bit of blatant self-promotion? You bet your bittie it is. No, I have no idea what a bittie is. I heard it on a British comedy, the name of which escapes me.

The book really has been a labor of love, though, and zombies have fascinated me since I was old enough to understand what the things were. The prologue, which takes place before the actual zombie apocalypse, is located at http://theundeadplague.blogspot.com. In addition to this, I very recently started a blog written in-character as Mitch, a rather special kind of zombie that puts in his first appearance in Zombies by the Numbers and is set to be the title character in the second novel.

I should probably explain the Undead Plague series itself. The books are each going to focus on a different person's experiences in the zombie-ruled world. Some, like James and Mitch, will have comical slants to them. Others will be from much more serious perspectives.

I hope you enjoy the prologue located on the Undead Plague blog, and I can put up more sample chapters if anyone is interested. I also look forward to spending time on this site!

EDIT: Whoops, forgot the link to the Mitch blog. It's http://thewordofmitch.blogspot.com.