The proper reward for a good deed

[AcesandEights]

Lisa, I’m glad you emailed me. I’ve been thinking about what you’ve said about your son deserving more of a reward (more than the 10% of the retail value and the earnest thanks also enclosed in the card I had given you). After some consideration, I do believe I can do better. You see, Lisa, even though I had spent some time searching online and speaking with my husband about what an acceptable reward would be ahead of meeting up with you to return my missing property (suggestions online ranged from a hearty thank you on up to cash), we felt a gift card for 10% of the retail value would be appropriate. I see now you are correct and this was not enough. I first suspected my heartfelt thanks and the $50 Mastercard giftcard were a mistake when I met you and you told me that nice story about how your son ‘found’ my iPad in a place it could not have been left by me, took it home for himself (as opposed to turning it into security at the school or making any sort of attempt to find the owner) and declared the item his when you caught him with it and questioned him about it. I also got the feeling what I had in mind for a reward might be a mistake when you possessively clutched my iPad and declared how your son should get a reward. Though, I’m not sure it’s technically a reward when it’s demanded. Thank goodness I had the forethought to get something for the nice person who was going out of their way to help me! I suppose I should have contacted you first about not having given enough of a reward after I got home and found out that the drive had been wiped and my apps, but more importantly the work on the iPad, had been [strike]lost[/strike] willfully deleted by you and/or your son. Now, turning to your email, that you sent later that evening, after doing your good deed: Hi Sara, I am glad you got your ipad back, however I was a little disappointed in the reward for it. After all, it is an expensive device and I made my son return it, so it would have been nice if he could feel appreciated for returning it. Just think, you could have been out for the total amount for the ipad but I wanted to show him if you do the "right thing" people will do the "right thing" by you. Yes you at least gave something but it was kind of skimmpy [sic], especially since it is worth a lot more . He can't even buy a pair of sneakers for himself as a reward. The other lesson he will learn is if he ever finds something else he will not return it because of this experience. I just had to let you know how I felt about the situation. I think this is when the suspicion I had erred really came through. After all, I only spent my hard earned money on the ‘lost’ item, your son had gone out and ‘found’ it all on his own! It’s not as though doing the right thing or a good reward should be enough. That’s not, after all, what we want the youth of today to learn. Perhaps you should have demanded a specific amount for the return of my property, it would have saved you and your son the disappointment of doing the right thing and only getting a thank you and $50. You know what though, I’m no good at this--I’ll leave being amoral and a bad example for your child up to you, you seem to have a handle on it! All that said, I had originally planned to ask for you to return the $50 mastercard gift card, however my husband prevailed upon my sense of decency and reminded me you probably have good need for it. True, it’s not enough to buy sneakers as a reward or post bond the first time your son gets hauled off to jail for pilfering someone else’s property, but atleast you can take your son out for ice cream with the money after his first arrest. What wonderful parental highlights you must have to look forward to! Thank you and best regards,

[Mike70]

sounds like she should've taken the police along as a "reward" for this little bastard.

[Sammich]

And here is what happens if you really do a good deed: Was $12,000 A Restaurant Tip Or Drug Money? MOORHEAD, Minn. (AP/WCCO) — A waitress in Minnesota is suing after $12,000 was left at her restaurant table — she says it was a tip but police say, it’s drug money, according to The Forum. The lawsuit was filed in Clay County District Court and alleges that the waitress found a box, left at her table at the Fryn’ Pan restaurant in Moorhead. She said she followed the customer to her car to return the box but the woman told her to keep it. The waitress said she found bundled rolls of cash inside the box, totaling $12,000. She said even though she has five children and could use the money, she decided to call police, according to The Forum. Officers told the woman to wait 90 days in case someone claimed the money. The Forum reports that after three months, police told the woman the cash was being held as drug money. "Traces of drugs on the money" as an only evidence for seizure by police is outright theft. Glorified revenue collectors with badges for years have been pulling this piracy, YES this is real piracy, on unsuspecting motorists during shakedown traffic stops with large amounts of cash in their possession. Asset forfeiture has to be the most abused power by law enforcement and it is very difficult to fight as innocent until proven guilty does not apply to money. Up To 90 Percent Of US Paper Money Contains Traces Of Cocaine, Study Finds ScienceDaily (Aug. 16, 2009) — You probably have cocaine in your wallet, purse, or pocket. Sound unlikely or outrageous? Think again! In what researchers describe as the largest, most comprehensive analysis to date of cocaine contamination in banknotes, scientists are reporting that cocaine is present in up to 90 percent of paper money in the United States, particularly in large cities such as Baltimore, Boston, and Detroit. The scientists found traces of cocaine in 95 percent of the banknotes analyzed from Washington, D.C., alone. Just remember this if you are on your way to the car dealership/electronics store/bank with a large amount of cash and get pulled over by some yahoo looking to get brownie points with his department. Luckily for the woman in the article, there was enough public pressure to get the pirates to relinquish the money to her. Attorney: Moorhead Waitress To Keep $12,000 Tip MOORHEAD, Minn. (WCCO) – A waitress in Minnesota will keep her $12,000 tip after police confiscated the cash, according to her attorney Craig Richie. “The county attorney’s office and the Moorhead Police Department have agreed to give her the entire $12,000,” said Richie. It is an insult that they offered to give her $1,000 as a "reward", when she could have just taken the $12k and just said nothing, but did what she felt was the right thing and turned it into the cops.

[SymphonicX]

Hmm, anyone else feel that reply could have been a bit more biting? I thought it was way too subtle. The owner of the ipad isn't arguing with the inventor of scrabble - I think pulling out a few home truths and doing them slightly brutally would have been more of a benefit to the obviously misinformed parent in question here. The whole thing about the reward being "demanded" could have really nailed it to them - that in the case of a demand for a reward equals a ransom which equals blackmail at the very least. God I'm making no sense...really long sentences there.

[Neil]

Lisa, I’m glad you emailed me. I’ve been thinking about what you’ve said about your son deserving more of a reward (more than the 10% of the retail value and the earnest thanks also enclosed in the card I had given you). After some consideration, I do believe I can do better. You see, Lisa, even though I had spent some time searching online and speaking with my husband about what an acceptable reward would be ahead of meeting up with you to return my missing property (suggestions online ranged from a hearty thank you on up to cash), we felt a gift card for 10% of the retail value would be appropriate. I see now you are correct and this was not enough. I first suspected my heartfelt thanks and the $50 Mastercard giftcard were a mistake when I met you and you told me that nice story about how your son ‘found’ my iPad in a place it could not have been left by me, took it home for himself (as opposed to turning it into security at the school or making any sort of attempt to find the owner) and declared the item his when you caught him with it and questioned him about it. I also got the feeling what I had in mind for a reward might be a mistake when you possessively clutched my iPad and declared how your son should get a reward. Though, I’m not sure it’s technically a reward when it’s demanded. Thank goodness I had the forethought to get something for the nice person who was going out of their way to help me! I suppose I should have contacted you first about not having given enough of a reward after I got home and found out that the drive had been wiped and my apps, but more importantly the work on the iPad, had been [strike]lost[/strike] willfully deleted by you and/or your son. Now, turning to your email, that you sent later that evening, after doing your good deed: Hi Sara, I am glad you got your ipad back, however I was a little disappointed in the reward for it. After all, it is an expensive device and I made my son return it, so it would have been nice if he could feel appreciated for returning it. Just think, you could have been out for the total amount for the ipad but I wanted to show him if you do the "right thing" people will do the "right thing" by you. Yes you at least gave something but it was kind of skimmpy [sic], especially since it is worth a lot more . He can't even buy a pair of sneakers for himself as a reward. The other lesson he will learn is if he ever finds something else he will not return it because of this experience. I just had to let you know how I felt about the situation. I think this is when the suspicion I had erred really came through. After all, I only spent my hard earned money on the ‘lost’ item, your son had gone out and ‘found’ it all on his own! It’s not as though doing the right thing or a good reward should be enough. That’s not, after all, what we want the youth of today to learn. Perhaps you should have demanded a specific amount for the return of my property, it would have saved you and your son the disappointment of doing the right thing and only getting a thank you and $50. You know what though, I’m no good at this--I’ll leave being amoral and a bad example for your child up to you, you seem to have a handle on it! All that said, I had originally planned to ask for you to return the $50 mastercard gift card, however my husband prevailed upon my sense of decency and reminded me you probably have good need for it. True, it’s not enough to buy sneakers as a reward or post bond the first time your son gets hauled off to jail for pilfering someone else’s property, but atleast you can take your son out for ice cream with the money after his first arrest. What wonderful parental highlights you must have to look forward to! Thank you and best regards, ^^ Where is this from?

[AcesandEights]

^^ Where is this from? It was a first draft I wrote for my wife, that I was trying to convince her to send. She ended up sending a watered down version, though.

[Neil]

It was a first draft I wrote for my wife, that I was trying to convince her to send. She ended up sending a watered down version, though. You my man, are an artist! So what's the actual story of where the IPad was 'lost', and where it was 'found?' And the boy told his mum it was his? REALLY?

[MinionZombie]

If you knew who the people were who had the iPad, and you knew the situation was funky, you should have threatened to go to the police right there and then. And all her stuff was deleted from the iPad as well? Surely that's some form of criminal damage in this day and age?

[Neil]

^^ They could just have denied knowledge...

[MinionZombie]

^^ They could just have denied knowledge... Depends on how you contacted them I suppose - if you've got emails etc between you and the individuals, then that surely proves it?

[Neil]

Depends on how you contacted them I suppose - if you've got emails etc between you and the individuals, then that surely proves it? "I didn't send those!" "I didn't type those!" "I didn't mean that!" Etc...etc... -- -------- Post added at 06:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:56 PM ---------- You my man, are an artist! So what's the actual story of where the IPad was 'lost', and where it was 'found?' And the boy told his mum it was his? REALLY? ^^Aces?

[AcesandEights]

^^Aces? Sorry, it was a long story and I couldn't get into it this morning when I first logged on, as I was back to the office after a long weekend. My wife was at a local school for an Irish Step Dancing exhibition/feis and her iPad went missing from inside a room that was supposedly being watched. It was in her purse in a zipped compartment, so her bag had to be rifled to get at it. My wife was then contacted by a woman via email who was asking if she was the owner of a missing iPad. My wife immediately responded with a description of the item, but did not hear back from this woman for the better part of a week, prompting my wife to send a second email. When we did get an email back it was sent with a tag on the email "sent via my iPad." Which we thought was interesting, though not conclusive. We eventually meet this woman Friday and get her story, the kid claimed to find the iPad in a place it could not have been dropped by my wife (she was not entering or exiting on that side of the building). So that means the item was dropped by someone else at this event and the kid found it, or the kid is lying and he went in and took the item himself. Now, we have a few reasons why we'd suspect the kid, since--according to the story the mother got out of him--he was supposedly playing on the basketball courts that have a view of the room where my wife and her dance company were stowing some of their gear. He then claims he found the item under a tree by the courts. Add to that, if the kid actually found the item, he made no attempt to return it to a responsible adult there (security, an adult working the event, someone by the room where the gear was stowed--remember that my wife was told the room would be watched). So he had awareness, motive and--as we would find out--what could be considered at least one morally flexible parent. According to his mother, when she came home the day of the exhibition she saw her son playing with the iPad and when asked who the item belonged to, the kid claimed it belonged to him. Which, I guess is fine as the kid is only in 7th grade and his parents may not have taught him any abridgement to the 'finders keepers' clause in life, but this would have been a wonderful time to teach that lesson, as opposed to going reward hunting. So, I actually was staying separate from my wife, when they met up, as I was just sort of looking around to make sure we didn't miss the meet up and when I saw my wife speaking with someone non-threatening I held back, because I didn't want to put this stranger off by ambling up unannounced. According to my wife, the woman had the iPad in her bag, hand clutched on it in a deathgrip while asking if there would be a reward for her son. Pretty tacky, arguably immoral. Fortunately, my wife and I had actually talked about this and decided some sort of reward was definitely in order (we didn't have the whole of the story at that time), so we had a really nice thank you card with a $50 gift card in it. Keep in mind that this may be 10% of the original retail value, that's more like 20% of current retail value on that model. We felt this was fair and a nice gesture of thanks for a kid in 7th grade. I came up to them after the iPad exchanged hands, to hear the story from the Mother about how she found her son playing with it, his insistence that it was his and how she told him that if they didn't find the owner in a week, he could keep it (remember how we had to follow up a 2nd time with her?). Also, that he had blanked the drive on it and been using it, so my wife's apps, but more importantly some of her work, was gone. Add to that the woman was curious as to whether we'd installed MobileMe and registered the iPad for tracking purposes. Based on the woman's desire for a reward for her son, My wife even joked about whether we'd hear back from the woman, sure enough later that night (this last Friday) over dinner with friends she got the email quoted in my first post complaining about the reward. Everyone at the table (you know we had to share the story) was pissed, I was the only one who seemed to keep his composure...hell, I was looking forward to getting in touch with this woman and calling her out. So we contacted the police to cover ourselves with regards to identity theft, just in case, and left it that. My wife sent the above email, except removed the outright accusations of theft and some of the last paragraph (much to my chagrin), but that will probably work out safer for us in the end In the end, who knows if the kid stole it or not, but it's poor parenting to teach good deeds as so conditional and is actually just mercenary, especially when the owner is known, and it was obnoxiously tacky and self-entitled to follow up and complain as she did.

[LouCipherr]

Not enough of a reward? For the kid who probably stole the goddamn thing in the first place? ...and we wonder why the world is going to hell in a handbasket, right? Is this the kind of shit parents are teaching their kids nowadays? Talk about someone with an 'entitlement complex.' In all honesty, if it had been me, if she was acting anxious for some kind of 'reward' - I would've said "well, you can hand it over and consider the 'reward for your son' us not calling the fucking cops, jackass."

[AcesandEights]

In all honesty, if it had been me, if she was acting anxious for some kind of 'reward' - I would've said "well, you can hand it over and consider the 'reward for your son' us not calling the fucking cops, jackass." Yeah, I can't honestly say what I would have done had I been in hearing distance at that point in conversation, but I was so annoyed after the fact, when my wife told me.

[LouCipherr]

Yeah, I can't honestly say what I would have done had I been in hearing distance at that point in conversation, but I was so annoyed after the fact, when my wife told me. I hear ya, Aces. I think you are a much more patient person than I (as evidenced by your posts and general attitude around here) so you probably would've handled the situation a LOT better than I would have. I have this problem in my life, it's called the inability to deal with "stupidity" - I just can't handle it well (even if it's me doing the stupid, which has happened many times!). When I come up against things that are just so stupid they shouldn't be, I have no 'fuse' - I just go off. Yes, that is a major problem with my personality, but the frustration sets in real quick because you suddenly realize, as Ron White once said, "You can't fix stupid." He's right. You can't. Who was it that said this to me a few years ago, was it Dj? Not sure, but someone at one point in time mentioned to me the phrase "stuck on stupid" - sounds like an appropriate description of the woman's situation. Sorry to hear you had to deal with "stupid" Aces. I think you did the right thing - even though giving the reward was questionable to begin with. The fact the woman had the nerve to email you and tell you it 'wasn't enough'... well, I guess that's where "stupid" comes into play here. At least you can rest knowing you did the right thing. Quick related story: when I was about 13-14 years old, I found a wallet in the middle of our street. There was cash in it. Instead of taking the cash and throwing the wallet in the trash, I decided to take it home to my parents and show it to them. They found his license, found his phone #, then called him to let him know I found his wallet. When he showed up, I was secretly hoping I would get something for doing my 'good deed' - however, that was not to be. The guy took his wallet, told my parents to tell me 'thanks' and left. I was hoping for something, but wasn't EXPECTING it, unlike this mother and her kid. It didn't bother me that much though 'cause I knew in my head that I did the right, proper thing. I guess my parents must've done something right, eh?