It begins...

[strayrider]

Yes! Planet X! I forgot all about that thing, blazing in to ultimately destroy the world at the end of 2012! That must be what is causing otherwise "normal" people to go bonkers! One wonders, though, if the "zombie apocalypse" phenomenon continues to spread at such an alarming rate; will any of us be left alive to witness Planet X's "deep impact"? -stray-

[LouCipherr]

i'm a bit perplexed by how seriously people are taking some of these stories. They can take it seriously if they're crazy enough to do so. I, personally, am just having a boat-load of fun with it. Just when we thought zombies weren't real, some dude chews off the face of another dude in Miami. That's so awesome you just can't make it up! It's so awesome it's hard not to have fun with it. I think what makes me laugh the most is the CDC actually had to come out and say "no, there's no zombie apocalypse" - can you imagine the meeting they had to have before issuing that statement? "I cannot believe we have to tell people this shit. Are people really that out of touch?!" Then add on top of it the rest of these zombie-like attack stories. It's just too much fun! Now, let's get back to the zombie apocalypse that's happening right under our noses! Top it all off with the fact that if this is indeed the apocalypse we're starting to see, it confirms one of my suspicions right off the bat: ZOMBIES ARE RUNNERS! MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

[Danny]

nothing will ever induce me to insult my brain like that again. as for planet X/nibiru theories, i hope you were kidding/being sarcastic about that. there is less than zero evidence for such a thing. the maya calendar horseshit is just a way for people to sell books to the same idiots that read the national enquirer. Some people need to think there is reason and control behind life, even if its a shady illuminati or something doing the controlling

[LouCipherr]

even if its a shady illuminati or something doing the controlling

[Mike70]

i guess this means we are just a post or two away from the inevitable return of the "it's 2am, you're surrounded by zombies, your mercedes is out of gas, and you have two shells left - what do you do?" thread

[LouCipherr]

I'll just leave this here..... No, Really. The Government Warns of Zombie Apocalypse Sep 6, 5:58 PM EDT WASHINGTON (AP) -- "The zombies are coming!" the Homeland Security Department says. Tongue firmly in cheek, the government urged citizens Thursday to prepare for a zombie apocalypse, part of a public health campaign to encourage better preparation for genuine disasters and emergencies. The theory: If you're prepared for a zombie attack, the same preparations will help during a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake or terrorist attack. The Federal Emergency Management Agency hosted an online seminar for its Citizen Corps organization to help emergency planners better prepare their communities for disaster. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last year first launched a zombie apocalypse social media campaign for the same purposes. Emergency planners were encouraged to use the threat of zombies - the flesh-hungry, walking dead - to encourage citizens to prepare for disasters. Organizers also noted the relative proximity to Halloween. Among the government's recommendations were having an emergency evacuation plan and a change of clothes, plus keeping on hand fresh water, extra medications and emergency flashlights. A few of the government's suggestions tracked closely with some of the 33 rules for dealing with zombies popularized in the 2009 movie "Zombieland," which included "always carry a change of underwear" and "when in doubt, know your way out."

[AcesandEights]

the government urged citizens Thursday to prepare for a zombie apocalypse, part of a public health campaign to encourage better preparation for genuine disasters and emergencies...A few of the government's suggestions tracked closely with some of the 33 rules for dealing with zombies popularized in the 2009 movie "Zombieland," which included "always carry a change of underwear"... Did the federal government really just tell us to always carry a change of underwear? <INSERT NANNY STATE JOKE HERE>

[Mr. Clean]

I'll just leave this here..... No, Really. The Government Warns of Zombie Apocalypse Sep 6, 5:58 PM EDT WASHINGTON (AP) -- "The zombies are coming!" the Homeland Security Department says. Tongue firmly in cheek, the government urged citizens Thursday to prepare for a zombie apocalypse, part of a public health campaign to encourage better preparation for genuine disasters and emergencies. The theory: If you're prepared for a zombie attack, the same preparations will help during a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake or terrorist attack. The Federal Emergency Management Agency hosted an online seminar for its Citizen Corps organization to help emergency planners better prepare their communities for disaster. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last year first launched a zombie apocalypse social media campaign for the same purposes. Emergency planners were encouraged to use the threat of zombies - the flesh-hungry, walking dead - to encourage citizens to prepare for disasters. Organizers also noted the relative proximity to Halloween. Among the government's recommendations were having an emergency evacuation plan and a change of clothes, plus keeping on hand fresh water, extra medications and emergency flashlights. A few of the government's suggestions tracked closely with some of the 33 rules for dealing with zombies popularized in the 2009 movie "Zombieland," which included "always carry a change of underwear" and "when in doubt, know your way out." Read that last night before going to be in the local news.....too funny!

[JonOfTheShred]

nothing will ever induce me to insult my brain like that again. as for planet X/nibiru theories, i hope you were kidding/being sarcastic about that. there is less than zero evidence for such a thing. the maya calendar horseshit is just a way for people to sell books to the same idiots that read the national enquirer. Reread my post. I assure you, it was three quarters sarcasm with a dash of troll and just a whisper irony.

[MoonSylver]

Reread my post. I assure you, it was three quarters sarcasm with a dash of troll and just a whisper irony. Mmmm-MMM!!! That's one of my favorite recipes.

[JonOfTheShred]

Mmmm-MMM!!! That's one of my favorite recipes.

[Mike70]

Reread my post. I assure you, it was three quarters sarcasm with a dash of troll and just a whisper irony. i have. sometimes i'm not good at picking that sort of thing up. i tend to take things a bit too literally.

[LouCipherr]

Oh no, is this starting back up again?? And in Florida again, too?! To the bath salts, batman! http://miami.cbslocal.com/2013/03/21...ing-penis-off/ Sheriff: Escort Charged After Nearly Biting Penis Off ORLANDO (CBSMiami) – An escort, reportedly high on drugs, was arrested after investigators said she nearly bit a man’s penis off. Priscilla Vaughn, 29, has been charged with attempted murder and imprisonment in Orlando. Orange County sheriff’s deputies were sent to the Crestwood Suites after the department received numerous 9-1-1 calls about screams and growls coming from one of the rooms, according to the Orlando Sentinel. When deputies arrived and went to the room, they found a man dripping in blood with “significant” bites to his penis and testicles as well as damage to his leg, abdomen, chest and fingers, according to Vaughn’s arrest report. The man was rushed to the Orlando Regional Medical Center trauma center. Deputies also found a nude Vaughn who reportedly had blood spattered around her mouth and face. She “growled and snarled” at the deputies as they moved in to arrest her, according to the report. During questioning the man reportedly told investigators that he and Vaughn went to dinner then went back to her hotel room where they drank alcohol, she took Ecstasy and they had consensual sex. The man said during sex, Vaughn became very aggressive and began to bite his genitals. “He described it as if she were trying to eat his penis and testicles,” according to the report. The man said he tried to get away but he couldn’t move her off of him, according to the sheriff’s office. Also found in Vaughn’s room was a sex toy with several deep bite marks in it. “The damage to the toy indicates a desire to cause severe damage,” according to the report. Sheriff’s investigators suspect the toy was damaged before the attack. Vaughn is being without bail. _____ Ouch!

[MoonSylver]

Gives new meaning to the phrase "eat me raw, balls and all"