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Thread: A Story Idea

  1. #1
    Fresh Meat

    Join Date
    Sep 2013

    A Story Idea

    So I just happened to stumble on this forum while I was searching up how to write a zombie book, and basically a lot of the sites I saw gave the tip of getting feedback on your idea before committing to it. And so... here I am... I'm not experienced in writing at all... Other than maybe essays as homework and things like that (So maybe the basics?...Hopefully...), but I kind of wanted to write a book or story as my culminating project (Have to pass this to graduate hs and freaking out about it) and I thought that writing about zombies would be fun. Anyway here's my idea.

    The story will take place in a parallel world in which there is only one huge landmass (haven't decided the name of it or how to name the "divisions" in which the land mass will be "divided" in) and some surrounding islands (also no names yet) around it, and everything beyond is just ocean. A company named Reath, located at the Northern peninsula of the land mass, somehow infected the surrounding area within a ~50 mile radius with a virus that causes the humans exposed to it to react in an aggressive and cannibalistic manner (found out later, both the how, and that Reath was the cause for the zombies). The story takes place about 10 years after the initial wave of zombies following the main characters of Pete (name may be changed) and Liz (also may change). Most of the people have been rounded up in a base(there is going to be a reason for this/explaination) that is surrounded by walls located at the southern peninsula of the land mass (which Reath had conveniently prepared) and any guns were confiscated to prevent any conflict, is the reason they were given. Although they are located at the base and away from the zombies, nobody feels safe. Inside, people fight for the small amount of rations given each day, and the living conditions are horrible (no sewage system, small huts). The only thing keeping murder rate down is the strict rule against it in which the murderer is shot (by the guards)/(easily found because of the cameras surrounding the entire area), however theft and non-lethal beatings are left for the "community" to deal with. The guards don't care about the people inside the base at all, and are mostly there not only to keep the zombies out, but the people inside, however they don't tolerate murders as said before (mostly because they ordered not to let the people kill each other by Reath). The supplies are flown to the base from Reath (mostly just food and water, the people also don't know until later). One day there's a twist people receive packs, filled with a random assortment of supplies, and Reath sends a heli-bot, a mini robot that is basically just a roundish ball with spinning blades that stick out from the top allowing it to fly, (the body or round part is about the size of a tennis ball) that announces that the gates to the base will be opened in a few hours in order to start the "game". The game is easy, just to make it to the company building of Reath (where they are promised all the luxuries of the zombie free days, and more), or die trying. The gates are then opened an hour after the announcement, forcing everyone to flee, as there is no longer anything keeping the zombies out. And Reath has made a lot of obstacles to impede the survivors, to make the game more "fun".

    To spice it up I decided to make zombies that have "mutated" I have a list of some of them here (note some names/characteristics may change):

    Norms: Slow, stupid, and in abundance. No mutations, however they make up for it in numbers.

    Sprinters: Fast, still dumb, but slightly stronger. No mutations.

    Crushers: Very fast, very strong; they often rush at the first human they see. They pay for their strength and speed with their body, often running into things. Are bigger than the average zombie.

    "Hands": Zombies whose hands and/or arms have mutated.
    Cutters: Zombies whose dominant arm has mutated into a bony knife shape that can easily cut through bone and metal. They are often clumsy and may trip due to the knife arm weighing a lot.
    Squid: Zombies whose fingers have mutated into three meter long tendrils that can easily be used to grab unsuspecting humans and animals. They are usually found in dark places/abandoned buildings.
    Smashers: The hands have been mutated into a bony mace-like shape. They are more dangeroues than cutters at close range due to the increased bone density and spikes from their arms.
    Clawer: Much like its name, the zombie's fingernails have grown long and sharp and replaced by a bony material. They can often cause fatal wounds that lead to their victims bleeding to death.
    Screamers: The term "their bark is worse than their bite" does not do it justice. With highly strengthed and mutated vocal cords, their screams are amplified and will attract zombies from miles around.

    Sploders: Zombies that have eaten a lot of humans and have not been able to release any of the waste. Due to this, they have swelled in size and upon death, release all the gas and waste that are stuck inside it... By exploding. Everything, bone, flesh, and anything else inside of it is ejected with powerful force within several feet of where it was standing, seriously wounding or killing anything around it with its acidic stomach contents or bone shrapnel.

    Pests (not sure if these would give the zombies side too much of an advantage): These zombies are a huge problem, as they have found out that chips taste as good as your brains, and will now also eat "human food" as well as humans themselves. Unfortunately they don't know how to remove wrappers so they eat that as well, inevitably causing them to become sploders due to the build-up of plastic and what-not.

    Poppers: Zombies that have huge swollen up cysts the size of a baseball all over its body. These cysts, which are filled with acidic blood and pus, will explode with even a small amount of pressure. If the contents of the popped cyst come in contact with human skin, it will melt a small amount of skin and enter the bloodstream. Shortly after, the victim turns into a zombie.

    Scorpion: A zombie whose spine has grown a second strand of flexible but sturdy bone that protrudes out of the lower back. The end of the bone is sharpened at the tip, with a minimum of eight feet long, it can be easily controlled to impale multiple targets at a time. Depending on the body structure, it may force the zombie to a crawl.

    Barfers: Zombies that can not release waste and whose mouth has grown into a one-foot large hole with a huge body and a head to match. much like their name, the zombie barfs digestive fluids and acids on their victims which helps to melt a human into a slushie in a matter of minutes if not quickly cleaned off. They can retrieve their acid by eating it again, or create more by eating humans.

    Bee: Walking on the six bony attachments on its back, this zombie has a seventh attachment bigger than the rest that is used as a stinger. However, unlike the scorpion, the stinger is not as flexible and can only "sting" the prey behind it. It can also use each of its six walking attachments for stabbing, as each are also sharpened at the point. Each attachment ranges from three to five feet, however the stinger is often a feet or two longer than the longest walking attachments. Due to the varying lengths of the walking attachments the zombie is not very balance and is prone to falling down.

    Imper: A zombie that seems harmless from the front when it's a distance away... Until it impales you with a few of it's tendrils of flexible flesh with bone sharpened at the end. The tendrils seem to defy normal body structure as they can stretch to ridiculous lengths to reach their prey.

    Hopper: A comical version of a bunny, this zombie's feet had developed bone spikes that can easily pierce their the earth. The rest of the legs had developed a layer of bone that improved leg strength, allowing it to jump a height/distance of up to ten feet. The extra bone/spikes help to serve for stability and shock absorbent for its jumps. However, due to this they cannot walk, and instead are limited to their jumps.

    Pincer: A zombie that almost certainly kills with every bite. The sides of its mouth have grown mandibles that upon closing on the prey, cause pain that may instantly knock out the victim, ensuring a meal.

    I'm probably not gonna be able to include all of them... They're just sort of brainstorms. Also I decided to remove the use of guns for the first part of the "game" to make it a bit more interesting and because I am going to have to do a lot of research to be able to put them in.

    Anyway. There's also some clarifications like whether they have to gather their own food and water or not... Well.. Yes and no. I decided to make it a little easier for the survivors because the zombies are already hard enough to deal with without guns and so I made it so that Reath would drop supplies packs randomly throughout the whole area of the land that would contain food and water. Also it's not like the mutated zombies would be all that common either. I don't want to add too many of them because then they'd kill off everyone in minutes, so they're going to be kept in short supply until later near the end. Also, I made it so that Reath would hold "events" or special games that would allow the survivors to earn more supplies/weapons. And also the addition of "stores" in which the humans can buy weapons and other things in exchange for... Well after thinking extremely long after this I decided that they would be in exchange for... The heads of zombies... I can probably see a bunch of people not liking that idea already... But I wanted the currency system to sort of give that holy crap factor of "those Reath people are ****ing twisted", instead of being provided with paper money or something. I know what you're thinking... How would they carry that? And what if they don't have enough to actually make an exchange? So instead, at the stores, you can get a card that keeps track of the amount of heads you've brought in, sort of like a credit card, and so you can store the "points" in there rather than carrying heads all the time. The store employees (people who work for Reath, also there is going to be an explanation as why they would) will burn the heads after counting them up so they can't be used again. Also the stores will be heavily protected so nobody tries to rob them (until maybe later?). Also it's a neutral zone so that people don't fight each other to steal heads (A.K.A a punishment of being shot if they do while close to store area).

    So I know it's a really... Realllyyyyyyyyyy.... Far-fetched idea but... I was wondering what people thought? Is there anything I should add?... Remove? I could really use some feedback.


    Well my idea around the whole parallel world is that ours (although based off of ours, maybe slightly in the future), has too many possibilities. So many in fact, that there'd be no reason to go to a specific location someone told you to unless they had a nuke pointed at your face (considering they're far away), because you can just go off in any different directions. For example, you can just camp on a boat with a lot of supplies, or go to a very cold place where the zombies would freeze (if... They do). Basically the point is... There'd be no game in it.

    For the company, I thought of it as giving more than just the goal of "They said it was safe here... So I came". Basically you have to survive the sick traps and obstacles that the place that you're trying to reach, in order to get to safety instead. Also, with a company in hand with the infection. things could become a lot more unpredictable, such as... The mutated zombies.

    My idea around mutated zombies was that, I just plain didn't see them very much. Now I know that there was probably a good reason for this... Because nobody seems to like them very much. They're a new, or rather, unpopular concept, and even just the now more modern running zombies are considered to be far out there, much less mutated ones. I thought that the mutated zombies would add a whole new factor of unpredictability, and, keep the basic fear going. Mostly in zombie books I see characters losing their fear of zombies way too fast. After killing a few of them, they're just like, "Okay guys, just avoid the horde, and watch out for that dark room over there" and that's pretty much all there is. But with mutated zombies, there is always something new, something to be wary of, to be afraid of. And of course, you have to find new ways to kill them, so I should probably start thinking up a whole bunch of weaknesses... Of course... This assumes that I continue on with the idea... Which is, unfortunately, something that I'm quite concrete on. I just really want to make this happen, and so... Sorry :/...

    My idea on the zombie heads was to make it so that Reath is trying to force people to play, trying to maybe "Turn to the DARK side", rather than just... RUN LIKE A MOTHERDUCKER AND HOPE WE GET THROUGH. I'm also thinking of making the amount of zombie heads needed for the really valuable supplies ridiculously high. This is so that the people would probably either:
    1. Form a group and start slashing everything.
    2. Conflicts over heads.
    Number 2 is what I'm really looking for, as it will keep the story going... (maybe?).

    Anyway... My most important question that I really need to ask... Since... I really want to do the mutated zombies... Is there any circumstance that maybe... You would accept them more easily (no sci-fi aliens thing)... And maybe even... Dare I say.... Enjoy them?

    1. What do you think about the no guns idea for the first part of the story?
    2. Are there any sort of "games" you would think were too overused?
    Last edited by Devilin; 03-Sep-2013 at 05:36 PM. Reason: Update

  2. #2
    Webmaster Neil's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    nr London
    I'm in with the alternative reality/universe thing because I don't recall a zombie film not having been set in our reality, so it would be a nice alternative. It also gives you a bit more lee-way for a fresh palette to work with. ie: As it's not here, the leap of faith can be bigger.

    I'm also ok with the idea of the big corporation running things. We've seen it done before, but it means its more of a dictatorship meaning there's an edge to it all. ie: Laws can be harsher etc!

    But I must admit all the different "mutant" zombies don't feel right to me... The moment zombies even go "ninja" I get an uncomfortable feeling. My take would be freshly animated can be quicker, but as they get older (more rotten/stiff) they get slower? So a fresh kill would be a major menace, so you can imagine an outbreak being a major problem initially as the zombies are all fast(er)... But in quieter areas, the zombies will be older and slower, so raiding parties would be far safer etc?

    Zombie heads for cash? Seems a fair enough way to incentivise people to risk their necks clearing out the local hordes!
    Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. [click for more]
    -Carl Sagan

  3. #3
    Fresh Meat Mosaku's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Very diverse infected list but how do your human characters stand to such a a threat? That would be the major enjoyment I find. Sounds very interesting.


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