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Thread: Really stupid Zombie jokes....

  1. #1
    Fresh Meat vissionaerie's Avatar
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    Really stupid Zombie jokes....

    a friend of mine sent me these on myspace....their stupid but funny at the same time.....sorry if this is a repeat...

    Stupid Zombie Jokes
    Q: What do zombie cows eat?
    A: Graaaaiiins!

    Q: What is a zombies prefered mode of transport?
    A: Traaaiiins!

    Q: What kind of underwear and socks do zombies wear?
    A: Haaaanes!

    Zombie 1: "Hey who's keys are those?"
    Zombie 2: "Jaaaaanes"

    "I was walking by a zombie optompitrist store and they had a sale on 2 for 1 fraaaaaames!"

    "My zombie friend just bought a xbox 360 from eb gaaaaames!"

    "A zombie once went to see the magic of David Blaaaaaaaaine!"

    "A chinese zombie once approached me and said "Zhai shun shuo zeeeeeiinnss!"

    Q: What did the zombie buy from the jewlery store?
    A: Gold chaaaaains!

    Q: Why did the Zombie have hunger pangs?
    A: Becasue he had gone 2 weeks without braiiiiiiiins!

    A stampede of zombies crashed a party and the cops showed up. There were bodies all over the place. The cop said, "Let's get outta here, this party is dead."
    "crippled but free...was blind all the time...i was learning to see" grateful dead


    "when we blindly adopt religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow..." Anais Nin

  2. #2
    through another dimension bassman's Avatar
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    Yeah...pretty cheesy.

    Not to mention they're all based on a bad zombie movie...

  3. #3
    Walking Dead mista_mo's Avatar
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    So this zombie stumbles into a bar and asks for a drink, the bar tender goes okay, what do ya want? The zombie tells him to make a margarita on the rocks. While the bar keep is turned around, the zombie jumps over the bar shelf, grabs the barkeep around the neck, and procedes to bite into his head, tearing his entire face off. As the bar tender lays writhing in the zombies arms, the zombie digs out the barkeeps eyes with his fingers, and pours some booze into his head.

    The other patrons look stunned for a minute, before bursting out in laughter.

    That zombie, such a kidder.

  4. #4
    Team Rick MinionZombie's Avatar
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    Why are zombies better lovers?

    ...

    ...

    Because they're always stiff.

    BOOM-BOOM!

  5. #5
    Fresh Meat vissionaerie's Avatar
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    lol

    never saw that one coming...no puns included
    "crippled but free...was blind all the time...i was learning to see" grateful dead


    "when we blindly adopt religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow..." Anais Nin

  6. #6
    capncnut
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    Q. Who won the zombie beauty contest?
    A. Some body.

    Q. Why can't zombies write music?
    A. 'Cos they're too busy decomposing.


  7. #7
    has the velocity Mike70's Avatar
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    here is an old one:

    two zombies are eating a clown, one of them looks at the other and says, "hey, does this guy taste funny to you?"

    another:

    "What did the zombie mommy say to the zombie baby?"

    "Brains!"

    "No, but that's a good guess. She said, 'You have your father's eyes. Don't bogart them, let me eat one!'"

    and:

    What's bald, has big clacking teeth, and wobbles?

    A zombie baby wearing the dentures of an old woman whose face it just ate.

    Quote Originally Posted by MinionZombie View Post
    Why are zombies better lovers?

    ...

    ...

    Because they're always stiff.

    BOOM-BOOM!

    minion will be here all week. try the veal.
    Last edited by Mike70; 22-Jan-2008 at 08:22 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
    "The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull."

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