SWEET ****ING ZOMBIE JESUS! ~or "a short rant about junk mail"

[Tricky]

Ive had that one several times,worded slightly different each time i even had one from a "US marine" who had stolen a load of iraqi gold & needed to rest the money in my account & would guarantee me a nice percentage of it once everything had been sorted out.I reckon the nigerian kak pipe cosmonaut had been watching 3 kings beforehand

[Dawg]

*L* Can't trust them Africans, especially Nigerians. I personally know some people from there and it is a very crooked place. If it is not armed soldiers kidnapping enigineers from oil rigs for ransom then it is internet scams. I knew this girl who got lured to Nigeria last year for a modeling gig. To make a long story short she was taken against her will for ransom and never heard from again. Maybe sold to a sex ring. Who knows. How did you find out that she was lured to Nigeria for a modeling gig? Did she tell you or someone you know about it and if so, why didn't anyone tell her that will be most unwise to protake in? That is scary as hell to even think about. I don't know about you, but my @$$ is staying safe and sound in the US of A, even though there are some serious $hit that goes down here as well, but you gotta be pretty smart about it, like not going out at certain times in certain neighborhoods for instance. (Besides, I don't think I would look too fitching in a thong bikini!) Quoting Chevy Chase from National Lampoon's Vacation, "Roll 'em up!" Dawg

[slickwilly13]

To answer your question, I met this model at a dance club in Houston. We hit it off pretty well and exchanged numbers. The whole friends with benefits things. One day she calls me up on my cell and tell me that she was currently in Nigeria. Some asshole lured her down there for a big model gig, so she was told. She jumps in without checking the thing out. Stupid move. She tells me that the guy tried to take her against her will. She apparently got away and was staying at some hotel. But was stranded. And she need money to get back. Well, I couldn't help her with that and was suspicious about the story. I talked to some people I knew who were from that country. They told me about 2 U.S. embassies she could go to and they would help her get back. I told her about the embassies and that I would be contacting them. She went nuts and starting talking crazy sh!t. And demanded money only. I knew then that something wasn't right. It was her chance to get back home, but she refused to go to any embassy. I figured she was either trying to rip me off or was being held for ransom.

[capncnut]

FROM MISS ALICE JENNY KANGA. ABIDJAN.IVORY COAST. COTE D'IVOIRE. APPEAL FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE. Dear Guardian, Good day to you over there,please permit me to inform you of my desire of going into this business relationship with you.Though this letter may come to you as suprise, since you dont know me personally before, but please kindly open your mind to help me and treat me like your own blood relation, it is by the grace of God that I found your contact recently, because it has been very difficult for me to find a sincere person to entrust on this urgent request transaction and to help me out of my affliction today, I am MISS ALICE JENNY KANGA, the only daughter of late Mr. And Mrs. FRANCIS KANGA. My father was a very wealth Cocao & Gold Merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory Coast, My father was attacked by unknown assassins during the political war crisis that going on our country here Abidjan, Ivory Coast. My mother died when I was a baby when she was about to delivers a new baby and since then my father took me so special. Before the death of my father on november 2004 in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of twelve Million,Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars. USD ($12.500,000) left in one of the private security/finances trust services house here in Abidjan Ivory Coast, as a family valuables for security reason that he used my names her only daughter for the next of kin in depositing of the fund. However That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as real estate management or hotel management. Sir/Ma, I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards again. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. Now permit me to ask these few questions: (1)Can you help me for the retrievements of this fund on my behalf in the security custody here and to help me to provide a bank account in which this fund would be transferred into? (2)Can you stand as a guardian of this fund since I am only 22 years old? (3)Can you make an arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my Education and to secure a resident permit in your country? (4) Can you honestly take me as your own and help me? (5) Can I completely trust you? (6) What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your account? Please,Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible. My life is not safe here and I need to be out of here as soon as possible, because since thereafter the death of my father all my uncles here are always after my life, been I am only daugther and the next of kin to all the properties then they start jealous of me and my presence here still be disturbing them and I stayed with one of my childhood friends here due to lack of security to my life. That is the reason I quickly have this my contact with you, I want to leave here as soon as you assist me to transfer out this said fund into any of your safe bank account in your stable country and then send me some amount to enable me prepare to meet with you for me to resides finally, finish my study and invest the money with you by your own permission and directives. without your assistance I will find it difficult to transfer the said funds myself alone without quardian and with my little experience.Please kindly let me know your plan for me and also let me know how best you can do to assist me out. Hopefully to hear from you ASAP? Best Regards, Your respectful one, Miss Alice Kanga.

[Debbieangel]

Hurry Capn you must help this poor girl!!! oooh plezzzzz!!!! Its sad that some poor joker will fall for this I dont even open these emails to see what they are about....if I dont know the person I delete the email so, I dont get any viruses.

[Danny]

It's always funny to finally get to see what someone looks like, not funny as in "ha, you mong!", not at all, what I mean is that sense of "ah", cos although you never have an image in your head of what someone looks like, you're always kinda surprised for some reason...hehe. Could this be a regular 'thing', Hellsing's vlog-o-gripe-o-the-week? actually, this post just reminded me ,i DID start a blog on blogger and forgot the password, i think i may restart that bitch up to ....er bitch about stuff. ill have to bite my lip on most of it though or thered be like 4 pages of just flaming uwe boll http://theundergroundslacker.blogspot.com/ -oh hope you dont mind i added a link on the links thing to your site mz, cus i directed a freind to it and he said he couldnt find it on google, so hey, one more place for people to find a link to it

[DVW5150]

I get this crap too ... to collect cash deposits for textile companies in other countries . Geez , its sooo stupid .

[MinionZombie]

No probs buddy, though it is spelt "Thomson" ... yes, like the phone directory ... (little, yet massive, in-joke to my FaceBook profile there, ha!). I was thinking of getting a kinda blog thing going for DeadShed, rather than just doing that list of dates thing I do at the moment. Speaking of which, I've really gotta update my site sometime soon, I'm so f*cking slack with it sometimes...

[Danny]

hey i havent done **** other than a poor rough of a front page yet, so you got me beat. http://www.geocities.com/underground_slacker/ though i havent got any serious filming done since like october since its been either wet or snowing all the time since then over my way so there aint much incentive to sort it out yet, y'know?

[MinionZombie]

Persist, muddle through and adapt to circumstance ... plus determination and realistic goals, that's all gonna help a young filmmaker out... ...I'm getting geared up for a talk I'll be doing at the local Sixth Form College to young'uns looking to tread the path I've tread/treading, get some practice in.

[Danny]

funny story i should mention, after waching mega 64 i was inspired to do some hidden camera stuff , the best was two of my friends in a proper old gents pub dressed like full on flame throwers, hot pants, old 80's t shirts ,the works and they were acting so camp and holding hand sand going to the bathroom together, i was pissin' myself laughing at the old guys faces, thats dvd extra material right thar'

[MinionZombie]

Dude, I must see that footage, that sounds hilarious! We did a bit of hidden camera stuff back at uni when folk were coming around viewing our house, I wrapped the camera in a scarf and set it amongst a load of junk (which covered the house anyway) and we were being so childish making bizarre gestures behind their backs and such ... we were hoping to catch them out somehow, but it wasn't as eventful as all that...lol. One of my housemates wanted to do some hidden camera sh*t in town, but he wussed out and couldn't be arsed, lol.

[Danny]

i do have a lot fo footage like that, plenty of which seem to occur in the macdonalds drive thru, guess thats a dicomillo inspiration, i might put it together some time as a mini cky type thing, hell people are retarded anough to laugh at it right?

[MinionZombie]

If it's funny, people'll laugh. You should totally do a compilation type DVD of your footage, I did the same thing - I did a whole saga. Me and my Uni mates pratting about - The Uni Video Saga (around about 10 different videos, around about 3 spin-offs and 7 main ones )

[Danny]

thats a lot of videos