Joke..Dictionary for Women's Personal Ad's:

[Debbieangel]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: >> >> 40-ish................49 >> Adventurous.................Slept with everyone >> Athletic..........................No Boobs >> Average looking....................Ugly >> Beautiful..................................Patholo gical liar >> Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills >> Emotionally Secure......................On medication >> Feminist........................Fat >> Free spirit....................................Junkie >> Friendship first..........................Former slut >> Fun...................................Annoying >> New-Age................Body hair in the wrong places >> Old-fashioned.......................No BJs >> Open-minded............................Desperate >> Outgoing.....................Loud and Embarrassing >> Passionate....................Sloppy drunk >> Professional.........................Bitch >> Voluptuous.................Very Fat >> Large frame.................................Hugely Fat >> Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker >> >> WOMEN'S ENGLISH: >> >> 1. Yes = No >> 2. No = Yes >> 3. Maybe = No >> 4. We need = I want >> 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry >> 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble >> 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not >> 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later >> 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! >> 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever >>think about? >> >> MEN'S ENGLISH: >> >> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry >> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy >> 3. I am tired = I am tired >> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! >> 5. I love you = Let's have sex now! >> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? >> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you >> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you >> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with >>you >> 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with >>you >> 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk! You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend? "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words." She then asked Alex what he had done? "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the ****."

[DjfunkmasterG]

Nice one.

[fartpants]

nice one Debs

[Danny]

you forgot the non gender specific one bubbely - fatass party goer - shut in craaaaaazy! - librarian/ d & d fan. cus no one whos "ca-raaazy" would admit it

[MissJacksonCA]

Never laughed quite so hard- i'm lying i'm sure I have I was too drunk to remember I was prolly looking at a man's lack of manhood I do hate the stupidity of women though sometimes... i'm the avid people watcher (voyeur) and I love seeing a dude ask his woman whats wrong and she's like nothing and so he goes about his day and she's sulking and he asks again and she's like nothing so he acts like its nothing... I mean come onnn one of you end the stupidity I wanna say...

[Yorkie]

Copy/pasted and sent to work, they were brill really loved the last one

[MinionZombie]

Fantastic stuff, cheers for posting Debs. Yeah you women make absolutely no sense - say what you mean already!!! Us blokes are too simple, you should know that by now...if you wanna be understood, say what you mean ... although if you're too emotional about it we'll get all wiggy and start thinking about sex or the pub or some sort of gadget or cheese on toast... *ug* I hate people who say they're "crazy" ... those are the sort of people who fail to get into the Big Brother house!

[capncnut]

Only just found this.

[Debbieangel]

LOL I actually forgot I posted those jokes ...I get a million of them...I thought those two were funny!!!Since ya like them I will go through my emails and get a few more!LOL Q: What happens when you eat beans and peanut butter...? A: You get a fart that sticks to the roof of your ass! This one isnt as funny but, its ok! lol

[capncnut]

I saw my old dealer's cat eating a small dollop of peanut butter the other day. Damn, I nearly pissed my pants!