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Thread: Perverted Joke of the Day

  1. 21-Jan-2009 #91
    blind2d
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    No I haven't.... wait a tick... - 2D
    "Right, so this guy walks up to this bird at a bar. He says, "Oi love, you look like you could use a drink." Then the bird says, " - Murdoc
    Stop that right now! I will not have you behaving like that around me! - Noodle
    This thread is stupid and detrimental to civilized conversation. - Russel
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  2. 22-Jan-2009 #92
    Mike70
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    Quote Originally Posted by blind2d View Post
    No I haven't.... wait a tick... - 2D
    "Right, so this guy walks up to this bird at a bar. He says, "Oi love, you look like you could use a drink." Then the bird says, " - Murdoc
    Stop that right now! I will not have you behaving like that around me! - Noodle
    This thread is stupid and detrimental to civilized conversation. - Russel
    dude, you are in serious need of some immediate psychiatric help and that is no joke.
    "The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull."
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  3. 22-Jan-2009 #93
    Cartma7546
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    so a guy goes the the pharmacist and buys a box of condoms for his 11 year old daughter. The pharmacist asked "sir do you mean to tell me that you have sexually active 11 year old daughter?" The man replies "no she just lays there like her mother."
    "Are you asking me if I think you're pretty or if I'll f*** you? Cause you don't have to be pretty for me to f*** you"
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  4. 22-Jan-2009 #94
    clanglee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cartma7546 View Post
    so a guy goes the the pharmacist and buys a box of condoms for his 11 year old daughter. The pharmacist asked "sir do you mean to tell me that you have sexually active 11 year old daughter?" The man replies "no she just lays there like her mother."
    Oh my

    I think we have a winner.
    "When the dead walk, we must stop the killing, or lose the war."
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  5. 22-Jan-2009 #95
    krakenslayer
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    NOTHING beats this one for insensetivity:


    What do submarines and Madeline McCann have in common?

    Both lie at the bottom of the sea and are full of seamen.

    (awaits ban)
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  6. 22-Jan-2009 #96
    Mike70
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    Quote Originally Posted by krakenslayer View Post
    NOTHING beats this one for insensetivity:


    What do submarines and Madeline McCann have in common?

    Both lie at the bottom of the sea and are full of seamen.

    (awaits ban)


    i'm....well that is certainly ...wow.

    damn that's a cold one for sure.
    "The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull."
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  7. 22-Jan-2009 #97
    krakenslayer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike70 View Post


    i'm....well that is certainly ...wow.

    damn that's a cold one for sure.
    Yeah, it's probably the most offensive one I've ever heard.

    I thought I'd get the fact that it made me laugh off my conscience by sharing it with you.
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  8. 22-Jan-2009 #98
    Tricky
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    I'm about three years into my relationship now, and I've started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra...

    ...and I've bought her a treadmill.



    john travolta's son is set to star in the hit musical sequel "Friday Night Seizure".


    What with Lewis Hamilton winning the F1 world championship and barack obama being president of the USA, it has never been cooler to be black.

    Michael Jackson must be kicking himself.
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  9. 22-Jan-2009 #99
    Mike70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tricky View Post
    What with Lewis Hamilton winning the F1 world championship and barack obama being president of the USA, it has never been cooler to be black.

    Michael Jackson must be kicking himself.


    that's the best of the three in my opinion.
    "The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull."
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  10. 22-Jan-2009 #100
    Cartma7546
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    Quote Originally Posted by clanglee View Post
    Oh my

    I think we have a winner.
    Yeah i'm going to hell
    "Are you asking me if I think you're pretty or if I'll f*** you? Cause you don't have to be pretty for me to f*** you"
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  11. 23-Jan-2009 #101
    clanglee
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    Ok. . this is the most offensive joke that I have heard in a while.

    Why did the black jews have it the worst in Nazi Germany?

    They had to stand at the back of the oven.
    "When the dead walk, we must stop the killing, or lose the war."
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  12. 14-Feb-2009 #102
    capncnut
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    I bought a Jade Goody calendar the other day. I'm taking the f**king thing back 'cos it only goes up to March...
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  13. 14-Feb-2009 #103
    MinionZombie
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    Quote Originally Posted by capncnut View Post
    I bought a Jade Goody calendar the other day. I'm taking the f**king thing back 'cos it only goes up to March...
    Oh dude I feel so bad for laughing at that ... ... oh man ...
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  14. 14-Feb-2009 #104
    capncnut
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    Quote Originally Posted by MinionZombie View Post
    Oh dude I feel so bad for laughing at that ... ... oh man ...
    I would normally frown upon jokes concerning cancer but Jade Goody is an irritating loudmouthed racist cow. If you think that's bad, check these gems out.

    In fact I'm gonna hide these in case they offend. Don't say you haven't been warned.

     
    Have you seen the latest edition of Hello magazine. “How I beat Jade Goody” by cervical cancer.

    Jade Goody, Jack Tweed and the kids were walking in the park. Jade says “Is that snow on my shoulder?” Jack replies, “Well it’s not f**king dandruff!”

    I hear Jack Tweed was sent to prison last year. Nice to know the police are cracking down on beastiality.

    What’s Jade Goody getting for her birthday? Cremated.

    Jade Goody wants to donate her organs to other patients after her death. They will be delivered in ‘Goody bags’.

    Hear about the latest deal at Jade Goody’s salon? 20 quid for a bald c**t.

    Newspapers are f**king useless. Everytime I read an article about Jade Goody, there’s a picture of Matt Lucas next to it.

    I hear Jade Goody has cancer. It will be interesting to see which parasite wins.

    Jade Goody has revealed that she wants her final moments broadcast live on television to promote cancer awareness. I hope nothing clashes with it.


    And my favourite Jade joke EVER!

    Jade Goody has converted to Islam in a bid to refute the claims of racism. Her new name is Yufat Fuqa.


    I'm so going to hell for this post.
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  15. 15-Feb-2009 #105
    MinionZombie
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    Oh man ... save me a spot in hell, would ya?
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