68 reasons why Children of the Living Dead sucks arse...

[MinionZombie]

http://deadshed.blogspot.com/2008/03/68-reasons-why-children-of-living-dead.html

Despite a lower number than both Ghey08 and Yawn04, it's absolutely atrocious. I'd forgotten how utterly incoherent this garbage was! :stunned:

(Posted it on my blog, cos I was too lazy to censor the swears...which is half of the comedy anyway, cos swearing is grown up, clever, and funny...FACT. :moon:)

Anyway - enjoy.

[Zombill]

Uh Ok:moon:

[Mike70]

http://deadshed.blogspot.com/2008/03/68-reasons-why-children-of-living-dead.html

Despite a lower number than both Ghey08 and Yawn04, it's absolutely atrocious. I'd forgotten how utterly incoherent this garbage was! :stunned:

(Posted it on my blog, cos I was too lazy to censor the swears...which is half of the comedy anyway, cos swearing is grown up, clever, and funny...FACT. :moon:)

Anyway - enjoy.

68 was all you could come up?:lol:

i would think 268 would be an easy mark to reach.

why in the hell would you subject yourself to this wretched ass piece of cinematic tripe again?:D

anyway, children is an atrocious, bottom of the barrel, amateurish crapfest. i am convinced that my son and his playgroup buddies could do better.

so when can we expect the "night 30th anniversary" gripe list?:cool:

[Zombill]

so when can we expect the "night 30th anniversary" gripe list?:cool:

That would have an infinite endless number

[MinionZombie]

Haven't seen it ever, at all.

COTLD only got 68 because there were long, long scenes where it was just bad for one reason ... and that was, it was so f*cking bad.

Whereas Yawn04 or Ghey08 have bigger budgets, so can afford far more retardation.

But COTLD is unbelievably awful. It really is.

Why subject myself to it? To create a bitch list is why. :D

[fartpants]

m.z you have to do one for contagium cos that one would run into hundreds

[DubiousComforts]

so when can we expect the "night 30th anniversary" gripe list?:cool:
Somebody make it stop!

[MinionZombie]

m.z you have to do one for contagium cos that one would run into hundreds
Might do one eventually ... I've not seen it all the way through, just skipped through...my GAR was it bad! :p

[capncnut]

Nah, do Night 30... it's Andy's favourite film!

[Yojimbo]

so when can we expect the "night 30th anniversary" gripe list?:cool:

Cheers to Minon for another hilarious list!

I agree with scipio, we must have Minon's bitch list on the purtrid and unclean thing also known as NOLD 30th Anniversary.

[MinionZombie]

Cheers to Minon for another hilarious list!

I agree with scipio, we must have Minon's bitch list on the purtrid and unclean thing also known as NOLD 30th Anniversary.
Someone gimme it for free and I'll do it. :lol:

I wouldn't do one for Night'90 though cos I actually like that film ... although I'm not a big fan of some of the music ... but what really twists my titties with that film, perhaps the only thing, is Judy Rose.

One minute she's crying in a corner, the next she's asking the most annoying questions right in the middle of a crisis, then she's trying to be Rambo, then she's back to being a useless wreck. :mad: GAH! :rant:

[ZombieGrrL]

I thought COTLD was the worst zombie movie until I saw House Of The Dead, after I saw that I realised that COTLD wasn't SO bad after all.

[Mike70]

I thought COTLD was the worst zombie movie until I saw House Of The Dead, after I saw that I realised that COTLD wasn't SO bad after all.

yes as craptastic cinema goes it is hard to, uh, top house of the dead. that movie is so bad it is mind boggling. i thought the whole inserting game footage into the movie was without a doubt one of, if not the most, ignorant idea in the history of film.

[bd2999]

Yeah, it is pretty bad. Hayes in apperances looks to me to be a rip off of Rhadu from the Subspecies series too, the long fingers and what not. I mean the similarity is crazy. There is another rip off to add.

[MinionZombie]

I re-read the email from Tor Ramsey (the director) about how gash the film is and how sh*t the experience was.

Dizamn. :eek:

[capncnut]

I re-read the email from Tor Ramsey (the director) about how gash the film is and how sh*t the experience was.
Yeah, that's some serious e-mail. It's hellish enough to raise a dry smile out of me. :sneaky:

[DubiousComforts]

I wouldn't do one for Night'90 though cos I actually like that film ... although I'm not a big fan of some of the music ... but what really twists my titties with that film, perhaps the only thing, is Judy Rose.
Give me a break. The soundtrack on the NIGHT remake is practically non-existent. Even Philip Glass would say, "wow, that's minimal."

Then there's that brilliant long stretch while all the characters stand around arguing pointlessly while outside there lurks... nothing. "Who's on camera two, a blind man?"

You have plenty to write about before your titties fall off from twisting.

[bassman]

Then there's that brilliant long stretch while all the characters stand around arguing pointlessly while outside there lurks... nothing. "Who's on camera two, a blind man?"


Maybe i'm not understanding your camera two comment.....but the characters arguing inside the house is a crucial plot point of the original....

[DubiousComforts]

Maybe i'm not understanding your camera two comment.....but the characters arguing inside the house is a crucial plot point of the original....
The "camera two" quote is from Romero's cameo in DAWN. In this case, it needs to be changed to "who's editing this film, a blind man?"

In the original NIGHT, the illusion of imminent danger is never shattered because it's established from the start that the living dead are lurking just outside the door, around the truck, etc. It creates tension and makes the arguing inside the house believable. While the argument is taking place in the remake, our view cuts to outside the house and there's nothing there. It's obvious there had to be a struggle inside the house, the filmmakers just didn't know how to pull it off.

Although Ben dispatches the first group of ghouls in the original, it's also believable that the characters would be driven to barricade themselves in the house. They are unarmed and outnumbered. In the remake, there's nothing keeping them trapped in the house. The human characters are well-armed and easily outnumber the living dead.

[Mike70]

The "camera two" quote is from Romero's cameo in DAWN. In this case, it needs to be changed to "who's editing this film, a blind man?"

In the original NIGHT, the illusion of imminent danger is never shattered because it's established from the start that the living dead are lurking just outside the door, around the truck, etc. It creates tension and makes the arguing inside the house believable. While the argument is taking place in the remake, our view cuts to outside the house and there's nothing there. It's obvious there had to be a struggle inside the house, the filmmakers just didn't know how to pull it off.

Although Ben dispatches the first group of ghouls in the original, it's also believable that the characters would be driven to barricade themselves in the house. They are unarmed and outnumbered. In the remake, there's nothing keeping them trapped in the house. The human characters are well-armed and easily outnumber the living dead.

agreed. even though i like night 90 and think it has its moments. barbara is right - they could simply walk right past them. they had a shotgun, a rifle, a baseball bat, and the tire iron which definitely would have allowed them to escape at least the immediate surroundings of the farmhouse.

after that hook up with some well armed country folks (hillbillies would definitely have their uses in a situation like this) and take your chances from there.

even when the undead are around the house in relatively large numbers an escape on foot would've still been very possible through the use of fire to drive back the zombies. ben, tommy and judy are able to relatively easily gain the truck (though obviously ben has some problems hanging on) and reach the gas, even though they are quite outnumbered and ben is able to make his way back on foot after the explosion. a breakout even then still would've been possible.

[Geophyrd]

We're still talking about this? I kind of doubt anyone that was involved with that production (such is as it was) is still thinking about it...

[MinionZombie]

If you mean the film itself, do you not get the point in the list? If not, why bother contributing to it...? :confused::confused::confused:

Can't a guy have a bit of fun?