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Neil
10-Apr-2008, 09:58 AM
THE BACON TREE

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.

They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".

"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'forget".

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".

And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres,

Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"

"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree.............

Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees, a Ham Bush"

capncnut
10-Apr-2008, 10:06 AM
<groan>

But I like it. :sneaky:

Mike70
10-Apr-2008, 03:06 PM
argh but still funny.

here is one my wife told me the other day.

how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

zero. everyone knows feminists have never changed anything.

Neil
10-Apr-2008, 03:21 PM
argh but still funny.

here is one my wife told me the other day.

how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

zero. everyone knows feminists have never changed anything.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb..?
None, let the b*tch cook in the dark!

mista_mo
10-Apr-2008, 03:34 PM
how many n-

oops, can't tell some of Korticks jokes in here.

kortick
10-Apr-2008, 07:05 PM
Mental Health Outsourcing :

I was depressed last night, so I called Lifeline.

Got a call center in

Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.


ps: all my jokes are family approved Mo
maybe the Manson Family approved them but still...