Purge
06-May-2008, 02:05 AM
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue
with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me
uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that
every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we
need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting
by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before
adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see
the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
and will remain against it.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to
sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart warming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer
is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much
more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........
reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!!!! .........
What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
REV. WRIGHT
Because he was comin' home to roost!
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white?
........We need some black chickens!
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue
with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me
uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that
every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we
need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting
by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before
adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see
the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
and will remain against it.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to
sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart warming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer
is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much
more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........
reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!!!! .........
What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
REV. WRIGHT
Because he was comin' home to roost!
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white?
........We need some black chickens!