Andromeda Strained

[wayzim]

This is Andromeda for Dummies, or worst, which is doubly bad since the Scott Bro's Tony and Ridley co-produced this abomination.
A stretched out over layered attempt to modernize a stream lined 1971 classic about a biological crisis, padded with nonsense about imbedded reporters and environmental terrorists.
Wherein the original movie, it was smart people doing stupid things, in this new adaption it's stupid people doing stupid things, aided by some of the crappiest CGI effects for any medium.
Where originally there was a sense of urgency, this hack work has a sense of when the freak is it gonna be over?
Where the explanations and even lack of explanation is deftly laid in the first film, necessary info in the remake is treated like an aside "Oh, by the way. "
If ya like this stuff, fine. But please watch the original as well, and doubly please read the book.
Because this is, dramatically, the Deadest Strain of Andromeda ever produced.
More later on some specifics that really tick me off.

Wayne Z

[Neil]

I read a review of this which really slated it.

In the original the satellite was doing some sort of military biological atmospheric tests? Hence it bringing back something nasty. But in the remake they make the satellite do some sort of inter-dimensional nonsense? Huh!? Is that right?

[wayzim]

I read a review of this which really slated it.

In the original the satellite was doing some sort of military biological atmospheric tests? Hence it bringing back something nasty. But in the remake they make the satellite do some sort of inter-dimensional nonsense? Huh!? Is that right?

That's right, and we got some vague 4400 future-time postulate on top of that as well.

The worst thing about this toxic remake is that the time was right for a re-imagining of the theme, with concrete worries about new strains of existing or even brand new bugs exploding within our cities. The worst thing about this is that everything that was adult and precise and credible was thrown out in favor of a scenario which made Outbreak look like high cinema.

OK, I was willing to accept a world of change in the update, with better technologies and a faster batch of systems to process data. Unfortunately there was little more than Trek tech with a touch of Minority Report touchy-feeling interfaces. Even that mighta been fine with a coherent plot and decent pacing, none of which existed.
The first mistake was the intercept of a high security transmission, by a generic hacker and his gee-whiz tech. From there we had family histories which had little influence on the action of the major characters, a past history which should have played into the story which didn't, a hastily discussed near-future time line which impacted little upon the procession of identification, analysis and control ( as drawn out in the original book and movie )which was likewise just what the people said not what they did ( as in the originals ).
The nature of the bug was hopelessly complicated, based off a postulate which was more red-herring than confirmed fact. It was closer to Dream-Catcher than Andromeda, and the supposed exciting conclusion was just dumb.
This is quite sad because there's exciting work going with the real-life study of plague style diseases. Maybe this will be like the TV version of The Poseidon Adventure and someone will make a better big screen adaption.
Otherwise, don't bother with this one.

WayneZ

[Neil]

I'll stear clear of this one I think...

Have you ever seen 'The Triangle'? The three part mini-series got good reviews!?

[wayzim]

I'll stear clear of this one I think...

Have you ever seen 'The Triangle'? The three part mini-series got good reviews!?

Is this the one about the bermuda triangle I saw way back in 05 on Sci Fi?
I think it had Catherine Bell (JAG) Sam Neil (of alot movies)Eric Stoltz, etc?

It was OK at times, quite confusing the rest, but it had Catherine Bell, nuff said about that. Not an offensive way to spend one's time.

You just getting it on your side of the pond?

Wayne Z

[Neil]

You just getting it on your side of the pond?

Wayne Z
I've not heard of it until recently, and peolpe comments tend to be quite good, so I thought I'd track it down...