Was reading my horoscope this morning on two different websites and....

[DjfunkmasterG]

Talk about a massive difference.

Horoscope #1: says I should be coming into some money whether it be a gift, or someone repaying a loan. I don't remember giving anyone a loan of money cause I am a cheap bastard. :D


Horoscope #2: Says I should go outside and stretch my arms, legs, and lungs. It even stated "May be take up spring time yodeling, you could start a new health trend."

Now while I prefer horoscope number 1, I have to laugh at number 2. Since I am at work and I go out for a cigarette on my breaks... I decided to yodel. :D

[TexasZombie]

I've checked four horrorscopes today and all mine say basically the same thing:

You will be faced by a mindless swarm of corpses attempting to steal your beer.

TZ

[MikePizzoff]

hahahahaha

Sounds like every weekend for me. Only replace "corpses" with "squatters".

[DeadJonas190]

That just goes to show that horoscopes are fake, but still entertaining.

Anything based on the "12 signs of the zodiac" is fake due to the fact that there are 13 zodiac signs (some argue 14, as cetus has moved into the defined zodiac section of the sky), Ophiuchus is left out. The Zodiac part of the sky was divided up into 12 equal parts. The corresponding signs are not wholly part of each division as some are much larger and dominate the sky longer than other signs. Due to this, it is impossible for the signs of the zodiac to actually influence ones life. Also, the earth wobbles on its axis, which combined with time has caused a shift in the actual locations of the Earth/Zodiac sign relationship. For instance, where Cancer once was in the sky, it has shifted over a few degrees, so in turn, for the zodiac to be accurate according to the actual astronomical location, the zodiac itself must adjust, but it doesn't, it stays constant.

A quick explaintation: If you take the ham out of a ham sandwich, it is no longer a real ham sandwich.

Now, my take on the zodiac and how some people swear by it being accurate is that the signs do not influence ones life at all, but it is actually the time of year a person is born during that does.