Job related weirdness

[kortick]

I am wondering what everyone experiences in thier jobs that makes it
a weird experience

i work in a gambling facility
in the promotions department
so my job is to basically give free things out to people

every day i go in and they give me a bag with $5000 cash in it
and i spend the day handing it out to people
along with t shirts, food vouchers, and other items

as a result i have become well known in the place to all the
people

as i am considered a friendly persona cuz i give and not take
they all come to me with their stories

i have the people who lose and then **** on the machines telling me how unfair it is they got thrown out
or they want me to give them another pass to the buffet
even though they were drunk and puked in their plate then fell asleep
in the pile of vomit and had to be removed
or when the guy next to them had a heart attack and while the EMts were
using the paddles on him they jumped onto his slot machine and started using his credits and they want me to get them back in

and it goes on and on and on

so i was wondering what strange things do you encounter at work?

[Danny]

i quit my job as a paperboy two years ago and havent found one since, ringing up about tomorrow, in a game store , from 1am to 8pm and i make 579 quid in 4 days.

anyway back to the paperroute, its true suburbs are were the wierdest **** goes on and visiting the multitude of houses that leave there doors open you see some wierd stuff, heres my most memorable.

6:door wide open guy sitting in hall with eyes closed listening to the magic roundabout theme tune.:rockbrow:

5:a 5 foot long iguana hanging out the letterbox.:eek:

4:collecting cash and going up to a door only to find a guy dressed like boba fett on the other side.:D

3:as i walked down a path a police car pulled up grabbed the guy i was giving the paper too and dragged him into the car and away.:shifty:

2:a gimp doing some gardening and planting shrubs, swear to god.:moon:

1:nudists, thats all i need to say.:barf:

[HLS]

Well at a previous job I whitnessed a baby snatching when I worked at JCPenney

[MapMan]

I ran into a portable Meth lab while making a All Terrain vehicle map. Rednecks actually using ATV's to make meth in the middle of no where. I was scared to death. Now I carry a handgun.

[MinionZombie]

Job related weirdness eh? Well at the moment I'm getting experience in my field, so it's not really a proper job, or one that gives way to weirdness. However, when I was working for the summer at a local VW garage I managed to clock up a few stories, here's some:

1) "Nimrod" (the young guy who came to work after I joined) waxing a large VW (Toureg perhaps), the ENTIRE thing in small, linked circles of wax - ALL OVER the vehicle. Needless to say we ripped the **** out of him because by the time he'd done all that the wax had dried so he spent an hour fixing it.

2) "Nimrod" opening a car too into the side of a man's large R.V. - which was his pride and joy. The RV was dented in the side and it was blindingly obvious. The car that did it wasn't the garage's, it was a customer car. So he'd dented two cars in one go. We then closed the bay doors and had to stall the owner to see if we could fix the problem - then Nimrod had to go and break the news, haha.

3) Myself and one (or was it two?) of the full time valeters, brought round a car which was to be valeted. Someone had paid specifically for that job. We did a great job ... shame it was the WRONG car. So someone got a free valet and we had to do the actual car the following day.

4) As part of my job I did "service washes" - cars in for a service also got a wash and vacuum inside. One car I got was sat out in the sun ... a car used by someone on a farm. Covered in mud. STACKS of eggs in the backseat - in the sun. The stink was pretty bad - but that wasn't the end of it - there were two caged ducks in the back of the car (estate car). I had to wear gloves and a mask to wash the damn thing.

5) Snapping at the boss-boss of the garage who had me crawling around on my hands and knees cleaning minor marks and smudges all to impress his boss - who was at least twenty years younger than him. I stood up after being ordered around like a maggot and said "I've only got one pair of hands!" and stormed out. For the remainder of my time there he didn't order me around anymore. Previously he had looked down on me because I was doing hands on work, getting dirty etc. He disrespected me on face value, meanwhile I'm just as middle class as he is and was attending university at the time working my butt off to get a degree. I wasn't just some mindless chimp like he thought.

6) The entirely male 'hands on work' staff (mechanics etc) gawping at a teenage girl's thong hanging out the back of her jeans from the service window round back. (She was 16 I think). Also them finding any excuse to walk through the main showroom to catch a peek at the thong as she was sat against a glass window, it was hilarious to see work grind to a half over a thong.

That's all I can think of at the moment. :D

[TexasZombie]

I saw a rib cage crawl down an autopsy table like an inchworm... The attending staff all just sort of stood there like "What the f*ck???" until the ribcage got to the end of the table and fell off. One of the techs caught it and put it back on the table.

TZ

[deadwrtr]

I see a lot of weird things at my job, and the majority of the weirdness comes from everyday people.

Last night, a girl comes into the ER with rectal bleeding. Seems she stuck a pair of scissors into her anus to make herself bleed. Why? She's addicted to pain medication, is a self mutilator and figured she could kill 2 birds with one throw. The lengths people will go to get narcotics never ceases to amaze me. Average blood volume (HGB) for a female adult is 12.1-15.1g/dl Hers was 6.2

The variety of objects people will stick in their bodies also never ceases to amaze me, especially the rectum. People have come in with vegetables, hairbrushes, perfume bottles, wooden dowels, golf balls, baseballs, a plethora of sexual toys, a bottle of Louisiana Hot Sauce, and a cell phone. Here is a tip for anyone inserting something into the anus: tie a string to it so it can be retrieved easily. The best proctologists have given this very information to patients who have lost objects in the rectum.

A guy came in who tried to remove his own testicles because he was an avid bike rider, and his balls were getting in the way. He removed one, sewed his sack back up with thread, but then got an infection. His scrotum swelled to the size of a large grapefruit.

He said he was going after the other one as soon as he healed up.

A guy came in with a nail shoved into his urethra. (where your pee comes out) He put it there...

There was a guy who nailed a piece of board to his hand. This nail went through the back of his hand, through the board and into his leg. I have seen patients with this particular injury 4 times. There was a guy who tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head with a nail gun, another patient used a box cutter to slice his neck open, and yet another whacked himself in the head with a baseball bat.

We have a bed called the Leather-pedic for individuals who are drunk and boisterous. It's a 4 point restraint bed used for the most violent of patients. At least once a weekend we are required to put down a drunk who most often does not want to be restrained. Last weekend, the was a 400lbs guy (at least 6 foot) who came in swinging. I threw a sheet over his head and 3 of us tackled him. That was hard work.

Teetering on the edge of death, narcotic overdose patients require a drug called narcan, which antagonizes various opiate receptors, in effect, stealing spots on those receptors normally used by the drug. Invariably, they come out of their stupor violent, angry because we have taken away their high. You have to be careful with narcan, because it can cause violent withdrawal symptoms in addicts.

Humans are strange creatures.

[MinionZombie]

Geez, with stories like that I'm glad I didn't go into the medical profession, sounds like a tough job, but also really weird. Why do people feel the need to stick all sorts of things in their bums? It's a one-way-exit people! If the medical service is anything like it is here, you guys don't get paid enough for what you do. Not everybody would be able to stomach the sort of things you mentioned, I know I couldn't. Fake gore is fine with me, real stuff makes me giddy.

[deadwrtr]

Geez, with stories like that I'm glad I didn't go into the medical profession, sounds like a tough job, but also really weird. Why do people feel the need to stick all sorts of things in their bums? It's a one-way-exit people! If the medical service is anything like it is here, you guys don't get paid enough for what you do. Not everybody would be able to stomach the sort of things you mentioned, I know I couldn't. Fake gore is fine with me, real stuff makes me giddy.

One of the reasons I got into the medical field, first as a medic, and then nursing is because I am fascinated by gore. I love assisting with sutures, wound care, abcess drainage, you name it.

As for why people stick things into their bum, I'm still trying to figure that out.:eek:

[MinionZombie]

*absess drainage*

*shudders*

Ewwww dude, f*ckin' ewww. Well, you're welcome to the real life gore, I'll stick with corn syrup and rubber latex :D

[Eyebiter]

Two strangest things I've seen on the job have been people dying.

1. Worked a job cleaning dorm rooms one summer, an old woman named Pearl collapsed with a massive heart attack. Ran next door to get the EMT, then watched as they tried to revive her with CPR. One EMT handed me her slimy false teeth for safe keeping. Had to give the teeth to her husband as they loaded her into the ambulance.


2. Years later at another job, was leaving work via the public elevator. Elevator doors open and I step out to find a bloody dead body laying in the middle of the building lobby. Seems the homeless guy had seconds before jumped off the 2nd floor balcony. Head all busted open, from the amount of blood it was obvious the guy was either already dead or about to die. No one wanted to touch him due to fears of blood borne pathogens. Staff threw a sheet over the body and patrons walked around him until the ambulance arrived.

[MinionZombie]

Where the fudge do you live, Wysteria Lane?!

'round these parts it's pretty normal. Though the house next door has to be the bastard cousin of the Amityville house or something. The original garage was destroyed when a tree fell on it, the first owner went bankrupt, the third owner's wife killed herself and the fourth owners had to move out for six months whilst the house was fixed after subsidence had set in thanks to the huuuuuge cedar tree in their garden.

In the close next to us (linked through mine) two elderly blokes from separate households died of heart attacks on the same day. Ooh, and some bloke was arrested by the RSPCA for shooting at the birds which shat on his car. Ooh, and come to think of it, someone died in the converted hotel (now flats) in that close about two or three weeks ago.

Sh*t, maybe I'm living in Wysteria Lane...

[tju1973]

Well at a previous job I whitnessed a baby snatching when I worked at JCPenney

You gave it back-- I take?

:rockbrow:


just kidding...

[Zombie-A-GoGo]

I used to sell sportswear in Santa Monica. One day, it was really slow and I was just sort of wandering around the store, when this little girl ('bout 4 or so) comes running in. She slammed into this little padded couch in the middle of the store. She looked at me, I looked at her. A few moments passed. I asked her if I could help her. She stared at me and started sticking her fingers in her mouth. Just then, Uma Thurman comes running in and grabs the kid. I told her I was just about to sell her some stretch pants. She smiled, ha-ha'ed and then wrangled her daughter out of the store. That was pretty funny.

I also had to continually call Pete Rose to tell him his Gold and Silver mesh workout pants were in. He never picked them up, although he made a big deal about me ordering them from the main store. *sigh* Jerk.

[kortick]

i knew there had to be some good stories out there

you guys never disappoint me lol

another time they had to fire a guy cuz he kept spanking it
in the storage closet
what was in there that turned him on so much was beyond us all

then there was the time this kid painted the walls and floor
with his own feces with the toilet brush
a budding artist i guess...

[zombieparanoia]

I used to work in a porno store, its weird, you never think you'd get jaded to telling nutcases to stop jacking it in the store or my fave "please stop licking the boxes" but you do, surprisingly quickly in fact.

[Adrenochrome]

I used to work in a porno store, its weird, you never think you'd get jaded to telling nutcases to stop jacking it in the store or my fave "please stop licking the boxes" but you do, surprisingly quickly in fact.
too funny.
Several years ago I worked for an alarm company (burglar alarms and CCTV) - I had to do some work in one of those porno/bookstores one day. I saw this 75+ year old man walk in wearing a schoolgirls' outfit and a blond wig (pigtails) and full facial make-up. He headed straight toward the back where the token videos and the gloryholes were - *shudders*:dead: :barf:

[Wooley]

While working at McDonald's a kid puked a a table and instead of going to the restroom, or something, he just sat there and blew chunks a second time. I cleaned that up and was wondering just how much a human stomach could hold. Lots of barf.

I cleaned a turd off the side of the garbage stall. Someone, and I'm sure it was a person, no animal could have dropped a turd on the side of the building like that, took a dump there, for whatever reason, and I had to clean it up.

Working at McDonalds, and dealing with jerk customers, standing for 8 hours, dickhead co-workers, and whatnot one of the factors that led me to question and ultimately decide to not continue my education to become a nurse. It certainly wasn't the gore.

During clinicals at the hospital, I did get to preform a dressing change on a patient, who had a midline incision and the would was left open to heal from the bottom up.

I watched a surgery as well. Surgeon used a cauterizing scalpel and let me tell you, whoever said that burning human flesh smelled like pork was full of crap. That was a very distinctive and unpleasant odor.

While doing clinicals at a nursing home, I assisted in preparing a body to be taken by the funeral home. She was 106.

[BUTCHYPIE]

I've had two careers in my life, so far.

I was a nurse several years. I worked primarily in a Burn ICU and in a big-city Surgical ER (gunshots, car accidents, anything trauma). I saw things you guys would not believe. Now I'm a television writer/producer. A lot more fun, but I don't think the stories are as good...

One interesting thing about the hospital job -- at the big-city ER, the morgue was definitely haunted. The bodies were stored on a set of big wooden shelves inside of a room-sized freezer. It wasn't like the drawer system that you see in the movies. The shelves were maybe four feet wide and three tall, so multiple bodies, inside shrouds, were stored on each shelf, if things were busy. The first set of shelves on the right as you walked in had body parts in plastic bags. It was so creepy; there would be hands, fingers, ears, feet, full legs, etc., just piled up.

When you had to do death care (i.e. take a body to the morgue) a security guard and maybe a nurse's aide would help you… if you were lucky. You'd wheel the body down on a stretcher, having put the body in a plastic-coated paper shroud bag. Then, since you'd have the patient's chart with you, you'd place it on the counter right outside the freezer door. You'd wheel the body in, and then somehow, you'd have to get it on a shelf without causing too much trauma to the corpse. The only easy shelves were the middle ones, because they were just a little lower than stretcher high. I never saw anyone put a body on the top shelf, because it was just too hard. Instead, people would pile a body on a body on a middle or lower shelf. There’s not a lot of dignity, when you die poor…

Anyway, the thing was, no matter what you left out on the counter, when you went back out, it was moved. We did experiments: if you watched the counter, nothing happened. We tried putting a level and even a ball bearing to see if there was a natural grade to the counter, but there wasn't. Stuff stayed put. If you put your stuff down, then everyone but one person went into the freezer -- meaning the heavy door was shut, which we suspected could make something move -- the stuff stayed put. If everyone then went into the freezer that same stuff was moved, when you came out. It was only a few inches each time, but it sure was creepy.

We kept talking about sneaking a camcorder in to film, but we never did.


In college, I worked weekends in an X-Ray Department at a hospital. Summers, I didn't want to pay to keep an apartment in the college town, but I wanted to keep my job. Since, I worked 16-hour days, and didn't have time to commute back to my parents' house, where I would stay during the summers, I found a hidey-hole at the hospital, where I could secretly sleep between my two shifts... I slept behind the old x-ray records just outside the morgue.

You had to go all the way to the basement, down a hallway, which had broken cribs, beds, isolets and other equipment waiting to be repaired. You had to go through a locked door to Bio-Medical, which is where they service and repair all the medical equipment, which was closed on the weekends. Another locked door took you into a large room that housed old x-ray films filed away on ceiling-high shelves. One door opened to the Pathologists bathroom/shower, the other door dead-ended into the morgue and the last was the only way out, the way you came in. No one ever needed to pull these records on the weekends, so I just slept in a sleeping bag hidden in the back. The thing was, the morgue door was broken, for whatever reason, and you couldn't shut it completely; it was always cracked open about two inches. I was able to sleep, but I had to sleep facing the morgue door, even though I could barely see it through a space on the shelving. Even though the opening to the door was around four feet from where my head was, I could feel a constant cold breeze coming from the room all night long. What can I say? I got away with it for three years, and I didn't have to take out one dollar in student loans...

Despite the spooky sleeping arrangements, in all that time, nothing really scary ever happened at this college hospital.

My sister used to work as an evidence handler for state morgue... She's got some stories, as well!

[Philly_SWAT]

Weird that the first two posts in this thread are jobs that I had. I used to work in a poker here at the Dog Track, and I used to deliver papers around here also. Now I work full time for the newspaper as a District Manager. I had sex with many patrons at the poker room, and I wasnt even giving out free stuff. Is that weird, or just cool? As a newspaper delivery guy, I saw many weird things...car wrecks, naked people....there was a mass murder just last year on one of the routes in my District. 4 people were beat to death with baseball bats. The house has since sold. I wonder if the person who bought the house knows what happened there.

[Eyebiter]

I used to work in a porno store, its weird, you never think you'd get jaded to telling nutcases to stop jacking it in the store or my fave "please stop licking the boxes" but you do, surprisingly quickly in fact.

Video store I once worked at had a seperate room for pr0n. Had a problem with pervs stealing the vhs empty boxes. Apparently they would take the movie home, dub the video, then want the original box for their collection.

[MapMan]

I was in Desert Storm. My unit was clearing a rock quarry. I went around the corner of a building and saw 50-60 stray dogs eating dead Iraqi soldiers. One dog ran by me with a foot in it's mouth. I still have dreams about that.

[HLS]

I worked in a nursing home once and saw someone die. I whitnessed a baby snatching when I worked for the JCPenney Outlet store. I have an office job now and the most exciting thing so far is I got in trouble for sending a dumb email to 600 people by accident instead to the person it intended to reach.:eek: