Dying Girl's Last Wish - A Wedding

[Marie]

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/02/24/dying-girls-last-wish-a-wedding/
Dying Girl's Last Wish - A Wedding
by Bethany Sanders Feb 24th 2009 2:00PM

Every little girl dreams about her wedding day, complete with visions of a big beautiful white dress and, of course, the perfect man. But 9-year-old Jayla Cooper doesn't have a lifetime to wait for Mr. Right. The Southlake, TX, girl has been battling leukemia for two years, a battle that could end in just a matter of weeks.

But what Jayla does have is a groom. He's her best friend, Jose Griggs, a fellow patient at Children's Medical Center in Dallas. "He is very cute," Jayla giggled, "And I love him."

Jayla and Jose recently tied the knot to fulfill her final wish: Getting married in a beautiful wedding, surrounded by family and friends.

"Will you take Jose to be your friend, forever and ever?" the pastor asked a tiara-topped Jayla.

"I will," she replied.

"We didn't expect to do this when she was nine years old," said Lisa Cooper, Jayla's mom. "But she has taught us all how to love each other and to be strong." The children aren't legally married, of course. In fact, the ceremony itself celebrated their intent -- to always be friends, no matter what.

"Of course I was shocked to find out that her big request would be a wedding, but it was, so that is what she got," Tina Kirkpatrick, a planner with the catering hall, Paradise Cove, told ParentDish. Jayla organized it all, from the colors, menu (chicken enchiladas), cake and song for the father-daughter dance -- "It's Your Love" by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. "She's already on morphine but I have never seen her look so good. She was shimmering."

As for Jose, "He's brighter, happier and more content with all that they go through in the hospital," said his father, Lawrence Griggs. "She changed that, brought it all out [and] opened up a side of him I hadn't seen."


What the Cooper's are facing in the coming weeks is what every parent hopes they'll never have to endure. But when they look back at the video of Jayla and Jose's special day, let's hope they'll find a little comfort in their daughter's smile, beaming bright on her wedding day.

Photography, catering and all the other services for the wedding were donated. Jayla's father, Jerry Cooper, is on family leave from work.

[krakenslayer]

Not sure whether this is cute, uplifting or really quite disturbing.

I think I'll just settle on very, very sad... on so many levels.

[AcesandEights]

God, man...that is just heart aching. Heart aching doesn't even cover it, in fact.

[clanglee]

Very sweet, touching, and sad. I don't know how I could get through life knowing that my daughter was going to die soon no matter what. I, for one, would give her anything she desired in the short time I had with her. So nice that she got her little wish.

[strayrider]

Sorry I missed this one earlier. Very touching.

Thanks Marie.

:)

-stray-

[capncnut]

"Will you take Jose to be your friend, forever and ever?" the pastor asked a tiara-topped Jayla.

"I will," she replied.
Awww dont, Marie. I'm gonna cry... :(

[MikePizzoff]

God, man...that is just heart aching. Heart aching doesn't even cover it, in fact.

I agree, man. I feel like complete and utter shit now.

[Marie]

Awww dont, Marie. I'm gonna cry... :(

I already did, that's why I shared, Why be the Lone Ranger?:(

M_

[krakenslayer]

There's still something about a nine year old wanting a Jordan-style dream wedding that makes my skin crawl. Sure, I'm sure there was nothing sexual in it and it was her dying wish but... why does a nine year old want to get married? The saddest thing about this whole thing is that she was probably so heavily bombarded with trashy celebrity culture during her tragically short life that she never really had a chance to be a carefree, innocent child.

[AcesandEights]

why does a nine year old want to get married?

Umm, well...while not expressly true, I'm sure the saying "All little girls dream about their wedding day," might sound familiar to some. Call it the social condition or what you like, but it is...or used to be pretty natural.

What would be more natural? "All little girls dream about the day they become someone's baby's mama?" :p

I know today it really should be "All little girls dream about growing up to achieve whatever they want in life," but a good post-industrial parent would be telling their kid that anyway and there's nothing wrong with teaching the idea of marriage early if that's the parent's wishes. It's been good enough for many a little girl for a long, long, long time and though we, as a society, may owe women better than we have given them in the past, I don't know that this is such an unusual or harmful idea, as long as it's couched with sensible adult guidance through to maturity.

That's my take, anyway.

[MoonSylver]

Umm, well...while not expressly true, I'm sure the saying "All little girls dream about their wedding day," might sound familiar to some. Call it the social condition or what you like, but it is...or used to be pretty natural.

What would be more natural? "All little girls dream about the day they become someone's baby's mama?" :p

I know today it really should be "All little girls dream about growing up to achieve whatever they want in life," but a good post-industrial parent would be telling their kid that anyway and there's nothing wrong with teaching the idea of marriage early if that's the parent's wishes. It's been good enough for many a little girl for a long, long, long time and though we, as a society, may owe women better than we have given them in the past, I don't know that this is such an unusual or harmful idea, as long as it's couched with sensible adult guidance through to maturity.

That's my take, anyway.

And a good one it is. I have 2 girls myself. They're not into it the way this little one was ('course if you're dying, who KNOWS how important it might be to a little one?), but they talk about marriage in the same way they talk about fairy tales & other little girl make believe. When my youngest was about 2 or 3 she proposed marriage to my wife, did a pretend ceremony (all of about 30 seconds long...) & walked around the house proudly declaring "me n' mommy are maah-wied!":)

This story is so heartbreaking. I'm just glad the poor little soul got her wish.:(

[Debbieangel]

awwww sweet story Marie thank you for sharing it!
All little girls love dress up in long dresses to be princesses and dream of long white dresses walking down the aisle. There isn't anything weird about this little girl wanting the same thing. She wanted her day with all the frills, the satin and lace and all eyes on her for that one day.
Bless her little heart! Bless her mom and dad, that had to be soo painful and yet awesome to see.
I really feel for them!:(

[Chic Freak]

It's not weird... little girls are brought up on fairy tales of beautiful princesses marrying Price Charmings and "living happily ever after". It's not like it's a sexual thing. Apparently I am relatively unusual in that I never planned to marry my father as a child- apparently when asked who they will marry when they grow up, most little kids say either mummy or daddy. Not a sexual thing at all- it's the person of the opposite sex that they love the most, and that's all "marriage" means at that age.

It's not "sick" in the slightest, just heartbreaking.

[DawnGirl27]

Makes your heart ache - what a sweet, sad story. To have a child die before a parent is so wrong. Glad she has such a loving family.

[Neil]

Not sure whether this is cute, uplifting or really quite disturbing.

I think I'll just settle on very, very sad... on so many levels.

Bit sad/confusing that a 'wedding' is seen as such an important event!?

[Marie]

Bit sad/confusing that a 'wedding' is seen as such an important event!?

Not really, it's still the high point of many women's lives. like having children is for some. Remember, this is a little girl, and a wedding is when the bride is the center of attention.

M_

[Neil]

Not really, it's still the high point of many women's lives. like having children is for some. Remember, this is a little girl, and a wedding is when the bride is the center of attention.

M_

My point still stands... Nature or nurture? Seems a daft thing to fixate on!

[Marie]

My point still stands... Nature or nurture? Seems a daft thing to fixate on!

Good Question that we may never answer. Where do your wishes come from? I'm sure I don't know where mine come from. I do know that I don't see her desire as that unusual. I think it's been brought up that she's not thinking of romance or sex, she's thinking of her special day that she may never grow up tp have in reality, so she has this to remember.

As far as it's being daft, the few stories I've seen of people who came near death and told the tale describe thinking of the strangest things like "Did I leave the oven on?" or somesuch. Death is a big concept, we can't really comprehend it, no matter our belief system.

M_

[Neil]

Good Question that we may never answer. Where do your wishes come from? I'm sure I don't know where mine come from. I do know that I don't see her desire as that unusual. I think it's been brought up that she's not thinking of romance or sex, she's thinking of her special day that she may never grow up tp have in reality, so she has this to remember.

As far as it's being daft, the few stories I've seen of people who came near death and told the tale describe thinking of the strangest things like "Did I leave the oven on?" or somesuch. Death is a big concept, we can't really comprehend it, no matter our belief system.

M_

I guess my point is 'The Wedding Day' is clearly instilled by society in some girls minds as the most important day in their lives, which to me seems a little odd/worrying. I can't fathom the idea it's the most important day of your life?

Surely there's better things to fixate on? :confused:

[Chic Freak]

I guess my point is 'The Wedding Day' is clearly instilled by society in some girls minds as the most important day in their lives, which to me seems a little odd/worrying. I can't fathom the idea it's the most important day of your life?

Surely there's better things to fixate on? :confused:

Yes... there are. But the idea of having a day that is all about YOU being beautiful and loved and the centre of attention is way too much for many women to keep in perspective, especially when it is reinforced by TV and celebrity weddings etc, and leads to the often worrying situation where fiancees devote all their time and resources planning a wedding and not a marriage.

[Marie]

Yes... there are. But the idea of having a day that is all about YOU being beautiful and loved and the centre of attention is way too much for many women to keep in perspective, especially when it is reinforced by TV and celebrity weddings etc, and leads to the often worrying situation where fiancees devote all their time and resources planning a wedding and not a marriage.

Most prople don't plan marrages, much to their loss I'm afraid. MOST people think everything works out because you LUVVVVVV each other. From the divorce rates I'd say they were mistaken.

But this wasn't about marrage as we've said, this is about the Bride's special day. And yes, it sounds silly, and maybe if we were REALLY liberated it would be different. But we haven't QUITE reached that particular stage in our evolution. In my opinion it'll be a sadder world when we do.:(

M_

[strayrider]

Most prople don't plan marrages, much to their loss I'm afraid. MOST people think everything works out because you LUVVVVVV each other. From the divorce rates I'd say they were mistaken.

But this wasn't about marrage as we've said, this is about the Bride's special day. And yes, it sounds silly, and maybe if we were REALLY liberated it would be different. But we haven't QUITE reached that particular stage in our evolution. In my opinion it'll be a sadder world when we do.:(

M_

Amen. If it was this little girl's dream, if it made her happy even for only that one day, then so be it.

It's selfish, I know, but I hope I never ... NEVER ... have to face saying goodbye to one of my kids before their time.

:(

-stray-

[Chic Freak]

It's selfish, I know, but I hope I never ... NEVER ... have to face saying goodbye to one of my kids before their time.

Sounds fair enough to me hon.

Oh, and I'd just like to make it 100% clear that I wasn't criticising the kids for not "planning a marriage" in my last post! I was talking about actual adult marriages. I think it's great that the little girl got the special day she wanted.

[krakenslayer]

It's selfish, I know, but I hope I never ... NEVER ... have to face saying goodbye to one of my kids before their time.

:(

-stray-

That's not selfish at all, strayrider. That's human. :)

I think everyone dreads that, deep down. It's one thing that scares us even more than our own death.