"What happened to all the nice guys?"

[Purge]

Sappy but worthy. (I'm not the author.)

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren’t dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize - one day - that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys’ stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

[J0hnnyReb]

I hate these things...

1. nice has nothing to do with so called "nice guys" niceness, sex does.

2. Being overly nice (see smothering) is a failed sexual strategy. If you are bitter about the girl not going for you, stop blaming her, blame your failed game. Women don't sleep with their friends, they sleep with guys who are up front with their motives.

3. Being nice, is the most underhanded motive you can have. Tricking women into sex is pathetic and criminal. Be a man, be excellent in something and the woman will notice it and consider you as a lover. Women arent hardwired to sleep with nice men, they're hardwired to sleep with winners, men who are good looking or successful. If you are neither, you have nothing to offer a woman, and so you should not seek to trick her with flatteries.

4. the aloof good looking bad guy boyfriend you hate so much, isnt actually an asshole, in fact instead of hating him and his conquest, you should get to know him and pick up some tips. If you thought holding her when she was lonely and being her emotional diaper was going to do the trick and it didnt and she picks him, you should find out why. Because its not because she doesnt know what she wants. She knows EXACTLY what she wants.

For all of you "nice guys" out there let me tell you what he wants:

Someone who is a winner, someone who is excellent and interesting, someone who has stuff going on, someone who doesnt sit around all day and worry about her. She wants a man who has more than just 1 interest. Which is why you might see her go out with a drug dealer loser (In your eyes) what she sees is a guy who is willing to risk his life to get ahead, what are you doing? Working a safe job somewhere? Forgive her if she sees that as a last option (it usually is).

She wants a man who is confident, and when we say confidence, we mean confidence around women. A man who is comfortable enough to be honest and not put up some huge charade of being nice is going to get more points then a guy who is just telling her what she wants to hear. Women hear flatteries all the time the good looking ones since they were around 12 or 13, your flattery is nothing to them. They want someone who is unique.

I cant stand seeing men who are not successful bash women because they are frustrated. Its not the womans fault if you fail to court her. Its just a business transaction. A woman has So much to offer men initially, sex, her looks and prospects of children and marriage. Her entire gift is wrapped up in her vagina and in her age. She doest have until her late 30s and 40s to nab a great awesome man, because her looks begin to wane. So the prospect of getting the most you can with what you have begins to diminish.

,So if she is out there in her 20s and early 30s looking for something that ain't you, deal with it. Don't begrudge her! Either step up or shut up. Putting your testicles in a jar in her purse wont win you her adoration, being a champion will.

By the way, I love the double standard... men in thier 20s and 30s who complain about women going for something specific while they are 20 or 30, who then go on to date only gorgeous 25 year old models in thier 40s when they finnally get thier act together.

[SRP76]

Being nice, is the most underhanded motive you can have. Tricking women into sex is pathetic and criminal. Be a man, be excellent in something and the woman will notice it and consider you as a lover.

That's not true. I've been around many guys that outright suck, and have hot women on them. Guys that are stupid, slow, weak, can't drive, can't even handle liquor, and work at McDonald's. Nothing "excellent" about them whatsoever.

It has to do with how you look. If you look good, you're in, no matter what kind of shambles the rest of your being is in. And if you're ugly, forget it. No chance.

[Danny]

sounds to me like the ranting of a guy who could never work up the courage to ask a girl he fancied out, misssed the boat then turned into the guy all guys never want to be "the suburban greater bitter dickhead" who will probably call her a whore who missed the train even though she probably had no idea about his feelings.



or to some it up


WHAAAAAAAAMBULAAAANCEEEE!!!

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y91/khazrak/chris-crocker.jpg

[J0hnnyReb]

That's not true. I've been around many guys that outright suck, and have hot women on them. Guys that are stupid, slow, weak, can't drive, can't even handle liquor, and work at McDonald's. Nothing "excellent" about them whatsoever.

It has to do with how you look. If you look good, you're in, no matter what kind of shambles the rest of your being is in. And if you're ugly, forget it. No chance.

WRONG. Sorry. Women have different criteria for a mate than men do. Those stupid slow guys at McDonalds got one thing those nice guys don't, the balls to ask her out and to make a move.


sounds to me like the ranting of a guy who could never work up the courage to ask a girl he fancied out, misssed the boat then turned into the guy all guys never want to be "the suburban greater bitter dickhead" who will probably call her a whore who missed the train even though she probably had no idea about his feelings.



or to some it up


WHAAAAAAAAMBULAAAANCEEEE!!!
g[/IMG]

bingo, you nailed it. This is what sickens me, all these men who have no guts to ask a woman out and who try to trick the woman into loving him by pretending they are so nice. Then the women gos after a guy who at least has the courage to be up front and the "nice guy" sees nothing by "nice guys finishing last" its utter crap.

[Yojimbo]

sounds to me like the ranting of a guy who could never work up the courage to ask a girl he fancied out, misssed the boat then turned into the guy all guys never want to be "the suburban greater bitter dickhead" who will probably call her a whore who missed the train even though she probably had no idea about his feelings.



or to some it up


WHAAAAAAAAMBULAAAANCEEEE!!!

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y91/khazrak/chris-crocker.jpg
Agreed. Been there in my youth, made mistakes, learned from them, and will someday advise my as of yet unborn son that no woman wants a man who lacks the balls to have the courage to ask her out.


That's not true. I've been around many guys that outright suck, and have hot women on them. Guys that are stupid, slow, weak, can't drive, can't even handle liquor, and work at McDonald's. Nothing "excellent" about them whatsoever.

It has to do with how you look. If you look good, you're in, no matter what kind of shambles the rest of your being is in. And if you're ugly, forget it. No chance.
Dude, I've seen plenty of ugly guys with beautiful women. I think that it has less to do with external looks than it does with personality. And no woman want's to date a pushover guy- ugly or good looking- who is content to wistfully puppy-dog after her.

[krakenslayer]

One point I do agree on is the tiresomeness of some girls who go around complaining that every guy in the world is an arsehole, when the only men they will even look at are trendy, pseudo-macho wankers.

As confident, grown up adults, it's easy for us to say that men should have the balls to ask a girl out, but it's easy to forget that in the awkward world of teenage interactions the only guys who are confident and straightforward enough to casually approach women like that are usually the arrogant greaser types. That said, it would seem the original message was written by someone who seems to be stuck in that awkward teenage phase... :p

[J0hnnyReb]

the only guys who are confident and straightforward enough to casually approach women like that are usually the arrogant greaser types.
utterly untrue.

[Danny]

this felt appropriate: http://www.fmylife.com/

[Chic Freak]

Where are all my fellow ladyzombies? :) We need to set these gentlemen straight!


He probably came to realize - one day - that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

First part, simply not true; second part sounds like the pitiful passive-aggression of a real coward. "You rejected me so I will punish you by ostentatiously fucking my life up so you feel bad." Now that is unattractive- not to mention arrogant to assume that the only reason she didn't fancy him was because he was "too" nice or had a bald spot or whatever. Maybe he was just boring and had bad hygiene or something, y'know?


Women don't sleep with their friends, they sleep with guys who are up front with their motives.

Disagree... many relationships begin with a platonic friendship.


4. the aloof good looking bad guy boyfriend you hate so much, isnt actually an asshole, in fact instead of hating him and his conquest, you should get to know him and pick up some tips. If you thought holding her when she was lonely and being her emotional diaper was going to do the trick and it didnt and she picks him, you should find out why.

Exactly.


I've been around many guys that outright suck, and have hot women on them. Guys that are stupid, slow, weak, can't drive, can't even handle liquor, and work at McDonald's. Nothing "excellent" about them whatsoever.

It has to do with how you look. If you look good, you're in, no matter what kind of shambles the rest of your being is in. And if you're ugly, forget it. No chance.

Totally disagree. Good looks will get you noticed initially in a crowd and nothing more. I'd rather date an ugly weed (actually, I quite like weeds, but that's just me) from McDonald's who was interesting and fun to be around and good in bed and really cared about me than an arrogant hunk who was boring as hell and selfish in bed, etc. In fact, it's easier to despise someone who is very good-looking but has no personality, because it suggests that they know they're good-looking and that that should be enough for you. And that's just a massive turn-off. It would be more fun dating a Johnny Depp poster.


no woman wants a man who lacks the balls to have the courage to ask her out.

Again, not necessarily true. I'm a total coward when it comes to making a move- I'd rather pass a chance up than risk making an ass of myself- but I did eventually throw myself at Liam when he seemed to totally fail to respond to my oh-so-subtle flirting. Luckily it worked out :D

[Marie]

Where are all my fellow ladyzombies? :) We need to set these gentlemen straight!

Wasted effort. Old story. The guy who isn't getting laid blames the woman for being too picky or in some way manipulative for no other reason then to play with somebody's mind and heart.

It's never as simple as taking a shower on occasion or treating someone like a human being, how could it be?

This is an arguement as old as time and as useless as dust.

M_

[strayrider]

I'd rather date an ugly weed (actually, I quite like weeds, but that's just me) ... but I did eventually throw myself at Liam when he seemed to totally fail to respond to my oh-so-subtle flirting. Luckily it worked out :D

Liam, you'd better get her away from the computer, son ... like right now!

:D

-stray-

(just teasing, Chic ... put that tomahawk down)

[krakenslayer]

utterly untrue.

Maybe you were one and just didn't notice? :lol:

[AcesandEights]

Well, I don't think any sort of 'game' or the like is necessary, but I agree that a willingness to step up to the plate and take a swing is damned necessary...I mean, that's obvious to most of us, I'd think.

[J0hnnyReb]

Maybe you were one and just didn't notice? :lol:

Oh I had the courage to talk to the girls without being a quivering sissylad, but I was no greaser. I was captain of my football teams defense, and a straight A student. I don't fix cars, and I dont like mechanics and engine stuff, totally boring. I'm much more complex than that. I just wasn't a wussy either.

[Chic Freak]

Well, I don't think any sort of 'game' or the like is necessary, but I agree that a willingness to step up to the plate and take a swing is damned necessary...I mean, that's obvious to most of us, I'd think.

Indeed... this dude's ego has been hurt because the girl didn't make the first move, simple as.

[darth los]

I think there were some good points made in that piece. However, as chic pointed out, It got lost in the midst of the pitty party he was having for himself. Some psychoanalysis would be fascinating in this case.

It's alot like the rep party in this country. They make some really good points but they go a bit too far and no one cares about their message because of the way they go about communicating it.

With that said, anyone that would make blanket statements about an entire gender such as this person did is an idiot. The same goes for women who blurt out, " men are dogs". It's not right, not fair, and ignorant.

Now, although statements like that are rooted in fact, they come off as sounding ignorant and therefore destroys the persons credibility on the subject, exposes their bias and nullifies some really good points that were made.

I understand to a degree what he was talking about, even what made him bitter but that's just the way life goes dude, deal with it.

For example, my wife is waaaaaaay to pretty for me and I'm not the type of guy that women like that normally go for but she was deep enough of a person to give me a chance and what she found was her husband. That's something she would have otherwise missed out on. Not that I'm ugly or anything, I'm just not the coolest guy in the room all the women compete over. I think that's what this dude is bitter about. He tried to be so good to her and she never gave him a chance. But she did what most people do, Keep taking until the person giving puts an end to it. it's his fault. Whatever that means because she truthfully had no obligation to do anything with him.

In closing, men would benefit on taking constructive criticism away from ignorant blanket statements such as " men are dogs". Conversely, women would do well to do the same instead of just dismissing them out of hand. Rarely is anything ever 100% false. There are threads of truth in even the biggest delusions. I'm not saying this guy is right, he clearly has issues, but he did bring up some points worthy of examination and introspection.

Just my opinion so pleae don't turn up the flame too high. :)





:cool:

[FoodFight]

They make some really good points but they go a bit too far and no one cares about their message because of the way they go about communicating it.

58 million Americans disagree.:)

[Tricky]

To be fair some people are just naturally shy about chatting people up & no amount of pep talks & "man up" lectures will do much about that!Im shy at times & im not particularly the "alpha male" type, however ive had several gorgeous girlfriends,slept around a bit & snogged (lol teenage word) literally hundreds of girls,a lot of whom have been lookers, over my countless nights out over the past 10 years!That possibly comes down to the fact im not bad looking & work out a lot,but on the inside im quite an anxious person & have come off badly from a couple of my past serious relationships which makes me apprehensive about getting into another one,plus im shit at making conversation with strangers,i prefer meeting girls through friends as its a bit more of a relaxed situation!
I am working on a rather hot girl from York who i met through friends at the moment though,and that seems to be coming on ok ;)

[AcesandEights]

I am working on a rather hot girl from York...

Sounds like the beginning of a good limerick. Work on it some more with this girl and get back to us when the limerick has an appropriate ending ;)

[Yojimbo]

Again, not necessarily true. I'm a total coward when it comes to making a move- I'd rather pass a chance up than risk making an ass of myself- but I did eventually throw myself at Liam when he seemed to totally fail to respond to my oh-so-subtle flirting. Luckily it worked out :D

I hear you, Chic Freak. Yeah, I shouldn't have worded it in such absolute terms, since it doesn't apply to each and every situation.

No one really wants to be rejected, and putting it out there always holds some risk of that. All I can say is, Liam is one lucky dude that you thought enough about him to risk making an ass of yourself and made the first move!!

[darth los]

58 million Americans disagree.:)

Well that is far from no one, ya got me there. ;)


However, that is still a vast minority of the voting public. I believe it's called a base and it is very unlikely that they'll ever abandon the reps. But if they ever want to be in power again they are going to have to change their message so that they appeal to a wider range of people, atleast enough to get them an elected majority. Right now they sound like a bunch of wingnuts.

"OOOOHHH, I hope Obama fails". Pathetic.




:cool:

[krakenslayer]

My problem was never so much not having the confidence to make a move, just that I was utterly hopeless at knowing when someone fancied me. A girl could have been grinding up against me and I'd just think she was itching herself. :lol:

[LoSTBoY]

My problem was never so much not having the confidence to make a move, just that I was utterly hopeless at knowing when someone fancied me. A girl could have been grinding up against me and I'd just think she was itching herself. :lol:

I hear dat!!! :p

My mate is flabbergasted when he sees it, even when he explains what happened I'm still like WTF!!. :o

[MinionZombie]

Sounds like the beginning of a good limerick. Work on it some more with this girl and get back to us when the limerick has an appropriate ending ;)

I am working on a rather hot girl from York...
"Because I'd like to give her my pork..."

Next line?

:lol:

[Yojimbo]

"Because I'd like to give her my pork..."

Next line?

:lol:

"and when I do plug her,
I'll be wearing two rubbers,
to protect me if one of them broke."

ok, lame and juvenile, but the best I could do.

[darth los]

^^^^

How about:

" So i Can plug her bottle with my cork"?





:cool:

[Yojimbo]

^^^^

How about:

" So i Can plug her bottle with my cork"?





:cool:

:lol::lol:Dude, that made me laugh and spray coffee on my keyboard, damnit! :lol::lol:

[DawnGirl27]

Sorry, chic. Have been out of town and just got around to reading.
I have to say that when I was single I was for the most part pretty clueless about knowing when a guy was interested in more than a platonic way, so nothing happened to further the relationship and the guy either drifted away or just remained a friend. In my defense, the guys didn't overtly come out with 'Hey, let's go out just the two of us and get to know each other better,' or anything to give me a hint of wanting more of a relationship, so how was I to know?
Men confuse women, and women confuse men. Always will. Some are cruel to others in rejection, and some aren't. It just seems that the former are remembered more and hung onto, turning into bitterness.
There are plenty of nice guys, and nice girls. You just have to wade through a crapload of ones that aren't to get to them. Just seems like too many give up halfway through and it's easier for them to say there are none left.
(If this rambled, I have a fever but wanted to post so chic wasn't alone. ;))

[Tricky]

One thing i have noticed in modern relationships through my own experience & the experiences of friends,is that a lot of women will end a decent relationship with a decent enough bloke for very little reason these days,a real or imagined hiccup in the relationship & they break things off when they could have just worked through it!i blame these gossip magazines & films starring jennifer aniston for creating unrealistic expectations when it comes to love & how things should be as a couple!

[Danny]

^^^^

How about:

" So i Can plug her bottle with my cork"?





:cool:

id say that sounds dirtier and funnier in a west country accent, but anything is funnier with a west country accent fig 1. "o'iyd put butter on tha' bread!"

say it out loud in a yorkshire accent, see?

[krakenslayer]

id say that sounds dirtier and funnier in a west country accent, but anything is funnier with a west country accent fig 1. "o'iyd put butter on tha' bread!"

say it out loud in a yorkshire accent, see?

Indeed, it sounds like a line from a Wurzels song, a la "I'll drove my tracter through your 'edge" :lol:

[FoodFight]

However, that is still a vast minority of the voting public.

I gotta call you on that one too. Mc Cain pulled down 46% of the popular vote (about 8 1/2 million votes less than Obama). However, I do agree that the Republicans need to change their approach if they want to win again, but not by trying to appeal to a wider audience (that just upset their base in the last election). If anything, they'll become more polarized and push even farther to the right.

[darth los]

:lol::lol:Dude, that made me laugh and spray coffee on my keyboard, damnit! :lol::lol:


And that was freestyle, at work, straight from the top of the dome yo! Just picture if i had time to prepare something. lol


I gotta call you on that one too. Mc Cain pulled down 46% of the popular vote (about 8 1/2 million votes less than Obama). However, I do agree that the Republicans need to change their approach if they want to win again, but not by trying to appeal to a wider audience (that just upset their base in the last election). If anything, they'll become more polarized and push even farther to the right.


Ah, if only the popular vote mattered. But the case remains that Obama won in a landslide construed as a clear public mandate. But see what we're doing? We're debating bullshit while there are dire problems out there that need fixing. Just like our politicians.




:cool:

[blind2d]

Hmm... maybe that's human nature. Sometimes all we think about are our own ideals and concerns, without looking at the future or the world as a whole. We wrap ourselves in this grand illusion of utopia while ignoring the problems right in front of us that we could in fact be solving. - Noodle
What? - Murdoc
She has a point... we need to just step back and evaluate our position in life more often, and this goes for almost everyone. - Myself

[FoodFight]

Ah, if only the popular vote mattered. But the case remains that Obama won in a landslide construed as a clear public mandate. But see what we're doing? We're debating bullshit while there are dire problems out there that need fixing. Just like our politicians.

The popular vote didn't matter as to who was elected, but that wasn't the topic. Your claim that no one is listening to the Republicans was the topic, and I believe that it has been addressed. As to fixing the problems, I'm all for it.

[MinionZombie]

One thing i have noticed in modern relationships through my own experience & the experiences of friends,is that a lot of women will end a decent relationship with a decent enough bloke for very little reason these days,a real or imagined hiccup in the relationship & they break things off when they could have just worked through it!i blame these gossip magazines & films starring jennifer aniston for creating unrealistic expectations when it comes to love & how things should be as a couple!
I think too many people expect too much, or have no idea what they want, or are just plain retarded in the way they go about relationships.

And girls who go after blokes who are blatantly complete wankers are absolutely stupid for going after them, in my view.

Personally, I've got no idea about signals and all that wank, I'm completely clueless and have apparently missed out a couple of times as a result (so I've been told, down the grapevine so-to-speak, often years after the fact, lol - really helpful, right? :rolleyes:).

Blokes can be nob'eds in relationships too though, and I can't be doing with people (stereotypically blokes) who cheat on their partner and sleep around, I can't be doing with it.

I'm of the opinion of I can't be arsed looking, and quite enjoy the complete lack of effort involved in being a bachelor, and figure that "the one" will turn up when you're not looking, nor expecting it - kinda like fate - so why bother trying and going through a bunch of bullshit beforehand?

And so sayeth the philosophy of MZ...:cool::D

[mista_mo]

Hi, I'm 20 years old, I work in a grocery store, I help support my mom, I have bad eyes, bad back, bad knee, i don't have a full high school education, but what classes I did goto i got through usually with a 70-80%, I like the Barenaked Ladies, Vidya Gaems, internet, I work nights, and I have no social life. I'm average looking, got a beard, I'm Canadian, my favorite food is cheese omlets with bacon mixed in, all put on toasted garlic bread. I have brown hair, greyish blue eyes, hair on the chest, and a manly smell.

My favorite toilet paper brand is charmaine, my favorite spice is roasted steak sauce, cheese makes anything better. I once ate 17 slices of processed cheese all crushed together like a hamburger, I only put mustard on my burgers, I have a tendency to randomly start singing, I have 3 cats who i WUV SOO DAMN MUCH ^_^, and I clean around the apartment.

There is a grey lamp on my desk, I broke my mouse yesterday, my paystubs are indeed stubby, and my favorite door shape is the rectangle. I take pictures of everyone i meet, and grade them by how many ingrown hairs they have on their face, or how bushy their eye brows are. My favorite color is puke, and my favorite font is times new roman.

I apologize if anyone got hot reading that, lord knows I did.

bets are on, starting at 33 tenths of a half cent.

[wayzim]

Wasted effort. Old story. The guy who isn't getting laid blames the woman for being too picky or in some way manipulative for no other reason then to play with somebody's mind and heart.

It's never as simple as taking a shower on occasion or treating someone like a human being, how could it be?

This is an arguement as old as time and as useless as dust.

M_

Firstly, everyone is both right and wrong ( how messed up is that? )
There is no clear hormonal and social strategy across the board How to Pick Up Hot Chicks( or Guys, for the zombie ladies. ) for hooking up, sometimes it just happens.
Mostly it's learning to be comfortable in your own skin and putting out something of interest for prospective partners. Guys might try just passively listening to what women are talking about( don't be a creep, please. ) it might surprise you.
Be a good guy for the sake of being a good guy, not that you don't want some but honestly it is pretty transparent and more than alittle freaksome to the ladies. If you have a girl who insists you two are just friends, then get feedback on how to make the hookup with some other girl you might be attracted to ( that's what friends are for, after all, truth? ). At the worst you'll find out just how serious she's not and you can just move on. At the best, she might get nervous that you're actually paying attention to other women and it'll motivate her.
But friendships are give and take, to various degrees, and if you're not getting something worthwhile back. walk. If you walk, however, don't make her an enemy, keep it cool.
By the way, this is also for the nice girls as well.

Peace out, all.

Wayne Z

"Obsession is standing outside of a married man's apartment at four in the morning with a machette in one hand and a jar of Vicks Vapo Rub in the other. Now you go home and tell your daddy that, and tell him to call me. "

Brett Butler( damn funny woman. )

[Eyebiter]

Whatever problems this guy suffers from it's nothing that a year of dating college girls and heavy drinking won't fix. Bonus karma points awarded if you learn to play guitar (no video games the real kind) and join a band.

[darth los]

Whatever problems this guy suffers from it's nothing that a year of dating college girls and heavy drinking won't fix. Bonus karma points awarded if you learn to play guitar (no video games the real kind) and join a band.



That's the truest thing I've heard today. lol

Nothing getting laid won't fix.

It's like a poor dude who hates rich people. Give him some wealth and all will be well with the world again...




:cool:

[Chic Freak]

There are plenty of nice guys, and nice girls. You just have to wade through a crapload of ones that aren't to get to them. Just seems like too many give up halfway through and it's easier for them to say there are none left.
(If this rambled, I have a fever but wanted to post so chic wasn't alone. ;))

Aw! Go back to bed sweetie xxx You're right though. Wading through the crap ones helps you really appreciate the good ones :)


One thing i have noticed in modern relationships through my own experience & the experiences of friends,is that a lot of women will end a decent relationship with a decent enough bloke for very little reason these days,a real or imagined hiccup in the relationship & they break things off when they could have just worked through it!i blame these gossip magazines & films starring jennifer aniston for creating unrealistic expectations when it comes to love & how things should be as a couple!

I think that's only a small part of it- mostly it's just young people who aren't interested in settling down yet, and if their feelings for their partner are only lukewarm to boot, then it only takes a couple of minor squabbles for the relationship not to be worth the effort of maintaining anymore, even if the bloke is a perfectly nice person.


I'm of the opinion of I can't be arsed looking, and quite enjoy the complete lack of effort involved in being a bachelor, and figure that "the one" will turn up when you're not looking, nor expecting it - kinda like fate - so why bother trying and going through a bunch of bullshit beforehand?

So you get bf practice and are thus totally ready for a smooth relationship when the one turns up ;)

[Tricky]

I think that's only a small part of it- mostly it's just young people who aren't interested in settling down yet, and if their feelings for their partner are only lukewarm to boot, then it only takes a couple of minor squabbles for the relationship not to be worth the effort of maintaining anymore, even if the bloke is a perfectly nice person.



Yeah thats true,im not interested in all that settling down into domestic drudgery,i still want to travel the world,live the party lifestyle like i have the past 10 years & keep on doing my action sports like paintball,surfing etc.I see people the same age as me who settled down early & they've missed out on so many of the things ive done & am still doing,and even though they claim to be happy they dont look it! :lol:
That said i'd like a steady girlfriend,but she'd have to be able to keep up/put up with me & my free spirit ways (and the fact i dont want kids,bit of a biggie that one) :p

[MinionZombie]

So you get bf practice and are thus totally ready for a smooth relationship when the one turns up ;)

lol, aye true enough ... but "the one" wouldn't mind a completely inept bachelor - if Top Gear's James May can get a lady and keep her (he once bought her a train set for her birthday, and they live in different houses :lol:), then anyone can, regardless of experience level. :D

But equally - surely it just shows some kind of really cute lifestyle choice, like - "if she wasn't you, why bother?" or something "romantic" like that. :p

Plus, don't you women like to "mend" your chaps? :D

Hooray for lack of effort! :cool:

As a dude, I'm untamed ... like a wild river, or some shit like that. :lol::lol::lol:

[Tricky]

Plus, don't you women like to "mend" your chaps? :D




:lol: i think thats a sticking point with me & ladies,i wont be changed!im not an arse about it,but im my own bloke & always will be!

[MinionZombie]

:lol: i think thats a sticking point with me & ladies,i wont be changed!im not an arse about it,but im my own bloke & always will be!
I know what you mean, good sir.

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2007/11/lolcat-high-5.jpg
:cool:

Although I freely admit there are things about me and my personality that still need changing - however, I've already changed a bunch of things in my 'programme of MZ finessing', hehe.

But there's some things I'll never change. :D

[SymphonicX]

bah, the guy who wrote this post seems lost in a world of his own self involvement.

I don't think it goes as deep as that - for instance I got into a convo with a very pretty girl at work which resulted in me asking if she thought I'd had a lot of girlfriends - not considering myself a "looker" by any means, her answer was very sweet: "actually I bet you have because you're completely down to earth"...and the truth, I have had a fair few girlfriends and sexual experiences, some of which many men would only dream about achieving - and do I put it down to my looks? Fuck no.

It's about not bullshitting, not taking bullshit, and not playing up to a girl that I fancy just because she's good looking. I won't do her any special favours, or run around after her like a lap dog...and as a result I get a lot of female attention - it seems a lot of ladies don't like to be fussed over or have a slave running around after them, they as well as me, want to get as much as we give and nothing more - nothing less - at the end of the day all I deal with is the truth on every level - and I think that level of honesty resonates with a lot of ladies - for instance I'm not scared of criticising myself, or making a joke about myself...life's too short to be caught up in issues like that...and I think that level of self respect sticks in a lady's mind and makes her come back....

[Chic Freak]

Yeah thats true,im not interested in all that settling down into domestic drudgery,i still want to travel the world,live the party lifestyle like i have the past 10 years & keep on doing my action sports like paintball,surfing etc.I see people the same age as me who settled down early & they've missed out on so many of the things ive done & am still doing,and even though they claim to be happy they dont look it! :lol:
That said i'd like a steady girlfriend,but she'd have to be able to keep up/put up with me & my free spirit ways (and the fact i dont want kids,bit of a biggie that one) :p

Oh, by "settling down" I just meant having a steady partner.

And not all girls want kids, believe me ;)


Although I freely admit there are things about me and my personality that still need changing - however, I've already changed a bunch of things in my 'programme of MZ finessing', hehe.

But there's some things I'll never change. :D

I'm intrigued!!

[Purge]

[QUOTE=Chic Freak;181033]And not all girls want kids, believe me ;)[QUOTE]

I'm hoping to run into one of them soon.

[MinionZombie]

I'm intrigued!!

hehe - well, I used to have a bit of a selfish streak - so I ditched that a few years ago, for one.

For two, I used to wear my heart on my sleeve way too much - so I've reigned that in a lot, but I'm still honest and open.

For three, while certainly nowhere near one of those eye-poppers on those obesity docs on Channel 4 and 5 (nowhere near), I over-indulged at university - so thanks to those wicked-awesome labels on food these days, I've dropped over a stone in weight, and am well on my way for a second jeans-size drop - all achieved by callorie counting and push ups, nothing more ... so it fits in with my bachelor-style complete lack of effort. :p

I've also gotten over my fear of doctors and hospitals by having to go to one (I got a "chronic" allergic reaction that plodded on for 18 months, thanks to some cheap jeans, probably from China, that used literally a boatload of dye that ravaged my skin) - thankfully I seem to have halted the reaction now after courses of pills, and cutting out - weirdly enough - all oats from my diet. So seemingly I'm now kind of allergic to oats, how random.

Plus a bunch of smaller issues that needed removing or changing in my personality, so basically, I think I'm a better person now than I was a few years ago - not that I was a bastard or anything, there was just things that I realised needed changing.

Sometimes I look back over the years at things I've said or done, and if I could go back in time I'd give myself such a slap ... I guess it's all part of growing up eh? *cue inspirational trailer music*

I think a lot of this hooks back to 2005 when my Gran died (I wasn't there when she died, but saw her on her death bed hours before - a sight that was quite shocking to me at that moment), and I attended the funeral (first and only funeral I've been to) ... so that kinda put stuff into perspective, and signalled up to me that I need to be a better person (even though my faults weren't connected to my Gran's death - I guess it just made me look into myself, you know?), plus it helped put things into perspective and helped me figure out how to deal with problems better than I could beforehand.

So aye - it's all a gradual programme of change. :)

[Chic Freak]

Can't believe I didn't reply to this! Sorry dude. Go you! Congrats on everything :)

[JDFP]

This kills me...well, not literally, but here's how it ultimately happens.

Take any 100 single men.

Women want a guy who is good looking (or at least confident).

That rules out 50 of them.

Women want a guy who is intelligent.

That rules out 25 of the remaining 50.

Women want a guy who is is wealthy (or at least self-sufficient).

That rules out 15 out of the remaining 25.

Women want a guy who has a "great" sense of humor (and what the hell do they mean by this? What exactly is a "great sense of humor"?)

And that rules out 5 out of the remaining 10.

Then they want a guy who is "sensitive to their needs":

And they are left with one guy who doesn't "swing that way" anyway if you get my drift.

C'mon ladies... the man of your dreams is exactly that, a man of your dreams. And most men are just as bad in what we want out of women. It's a double-edged sword (like a bat'leth).

j.p.

[Purge]

This kills me...well, not literally, but here's how it ultimately happens.

Take any 100 single men.

Women want a guy who is good looking (or at least confident).

That rules out 50 of them.

Women want a guy who is intelligent.

That rules out 25 of the remaining 50.

Women want a guy who is is wealthy (or at least self-sufficient).

That rules out 15 out of the remaining 25.

Women want a guy who has a "great" sense of humor (and what the hell do they mean by this? What exactly is a "great sense of humor"?)

And that rules out 5 out of the remaining 10.

Then they want a guy who is "sensitive to their needs":

And they are left with one guy who doesn't "swing that way" anyway if you get my drift.

C'mon ladies... the man of your dreams is exactly that, a man of your dreams. And most men are just as bad in what we want out of women. It's a double-edged sword (like a bat'leth).

j.p.

Finally--someone gets it.

[DawnGirl27]

This kills me...well, not literally, but here's how it ultimately happens.

Take any 100 single men.

Women want a guy who is good looking (or at least confident).

That rules out 50 of them.

Women want a guy who is intelligent.

That rules out 25 of the remaining 50.

Women want a guy who is is wealthy (or at least self-sufficient).

That rules out 15 out of the remaining 25.

Women want a guy who has a "great" sense of humor (and what the hell do they mean by this? What exactly is a "great sense of humor"?)

And that rules out 5 out of the remaining 10.

Then they want a guy who is "sensitive to their needs":

And they are left with one guy who doesn't "swing that way" anyway if you get my drift.

C'mon ladies... the man of your dreams is exactly that, a man of your dreams. And most men are just as bad in what we want out of women. It's a double-edged sword (like a bat'leth).

j.p.

You touch on this at the end of your post....
Doesn't a man also want a woman who is intelligent, cares about their needs, makes them laugh, has a job (doesn't have to be an attorney, but brings home a paycheck, at least), is smart (maybe not a rocket scientist, but...),
and is good-looking (in their opinion), as well? This goes both ways - always has, always will.

Just don't go lumping all women together as superficial, money-hungry, and overly needy, because we aren't, just like all men aren't all horndogs. :p

Men have their "dream" girls, just as women have their "dream" guys. Some men and women only want extremely good-looking partners who make lots of money - fine. But some dreams include good hearts, the ability to make you laugh, dependability, compassion, unconditional acceptance and love. If you're lucky enough to find these in a person, now that's a dream.

;)

[Yojimbo]

You touch on this at the end of your post....
Doesn't a man also want a woman who is intelligent, cares about their needs, makes them laugh, has a job (doesn't have to be an attorney, but brings home a paycheck, at least), is smart (maybe not a rocket scientist, but...),
and is good-looking (in their opinion), as well? This goes both ways - always has, always will.

Just don't go lumping all women together as superficial, money-hungry, and overly needy, because we aren't, just like all men aren't all horndogs. :p

Men have their "dream" girls, just as women have their "dream" guys. Some men and women only want extremely good-looking partners who make lots of money - fine. But some dreams include good hearts, the ability to make you laugh, dependability, compassion, unconditional acceptance and love. If you're lucky enough to find these in a person, now that's a dream.

;)


Wise words.