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bassman
17-Apr-2009, 04:11 PM
Ever get tired of your friends giving you long and drawn out explanations of films? This (http://www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomfortable-plot-summaries/) website has made it easier.

Some of my favorites:

LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property
TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
SUPERBAD: Boys plan date-rape, sleep together.
SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.
THE GOONIES: Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen.
300: Gays kill blacks
BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
DONNIE DARKO: Hallucinating teen crushed by airplane engine.
GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
GONE WITH THE WIND: Rich, white slave owner enjoys getting raped, miscarries.
HALLOWEEN: Babysitter’s relationship with murderer places children in danger.
JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child.
PREDATOR: American military-industrial complex ruins first contact with alien life
ROBOCOP: Female officer’s incompetence leads partner to be murdered and enslaved by corporation.
ROCKY: White man beats black man.
JUNO: Teen fails to get abortion, ruins lives.
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
TRANSPORTER: Repressed homosexual kills employers

SRP76
17-Apr-2009, 06:11 PM
ROCKY: White man beats black man.


Someone doesn't know that Apollo won.

darth los
17-Apr-2009, 06:40 PM
Someone doesn't know that Apollo won.

Many people don't know that, which speaks volumes about today's A.D.D. generation.


Imo, Rocky is an all time classic, but I have to say the final 1-2minutes of the film are complete chaos. Anyone actually paying attention would know that rocky lost when apollo raises is hands in victory after the anouncer gives the judges decision. But to be fair, it's very muddled and You can't really hear anything. That coupled with the fact that there are people constantly walking in front of the camera and I can see how that mistake is commonly made.






:cool:

SRP76
17-Apr-2009, 07:10 PM
Many people don't know that, which speaks volumes about today's A.D.D. generation.


Imo, Rocky is an all time classic, but I have to say the final 1-2minutes of the film are complete chaos. Anyone actually paying attention would know that rocky lost when apollo raises is hands in victory after the anouncer gives the judges decision. But to be fair, it's very muddled and You can't really hear anything. That coupled with the fact that there are people constantly walking in front of the camera and I can see how that mistake is commonly made.






:cool:

The fact that Rocky challenges for the title in Rocky II should pretty much spell it out for people.

bassman
17-Apr-2009, 08:02 PM
Guys....there's more than one way to win something. That's the point of Rocky. He may have lost the match from an official standpoint, but the whole story of Rocky is that he beat the odds and held his own against Creed while everyone said he couldn't.

Whether or not these guys see it that way, I dunno. Maybe they just have Rocky 2 confused with 1.

darth los
17-Apr-2009, 08:26 PM
Guys....there's more than one way to win something. That's the point of Rocky. He may have lost the match from an official standpoint, but the whole story of Rocky is that he beat the odds and held his own against Creed while everyone said he couldn't.

Whether or not these guys see it that way, I dunno. Maybe they just have Rocky 2 confused with 1.



Well, your preaching to the choir on that one.


People always talk about rocky in terms of a boxing movie and that immediately tells me they didn't get it because the the film is about so much more than that. There's actually very little boxing in the film. As you said earlier it's about the struggle of life, not giving up, second chances/redepmtion, among other things.



Of course Rocky got a moral victory,but I don't think that's what they meant.





:cool:

ProfessorChaos
17-Apr-2009, 09:25 PM
TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum. :lol::lol::lol:

MikePizzoff
17-Apr-2009, 09:57 PM
GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.

:lol::lol::lol: That's good.

Mike70
18-Apr-2009, 12:48 AM
TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum. :lol::lol::lol:

bwahahahaha. that's classic.

strayrider
18-Apr-2009, 06:41 AM
TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum. :lol::lol::lol:

Tasteless, and so true! I love it!

Incidentally, I always skip all that "love story" crap and get right into the sinking ship part.

:lol:

-stray-

ps -- Dawn of the Dead: Helicopter thieves squat in shopping mall to hide from Obama supporters -- er, I mean to hide from zombies.

(I know, I know: "Stray, look at these ink spots ... what do you see?") :D

Mike70
18-Apr-2009, 03:29 PM
this might be one of the best:

DELIVERANCE: Tourists experience local hospitality. :lol:

strayrider
18-Apr-2009, 04:16 PM
"They shifted the statues for harboring ghosts
Reddened their necks, collared their clothes
Then we danced the dance till the menace got out
She gathered the corners and called it her gown"

REM?

:D

-stray-

Mike70
18-Apr-2009, 04:30 PM
"They shifted the statues for harboring ghosts
Reddened their necks, collared their clothes
Then we danced the dance till the menace got out
She gathered the corners and called it her gown"

REM?

:D

-stray-

yep. harborcoat from the reckoning album.

MoonSylver
18-Apr-2009, 06:51 PM
Dawn of the Dead: Helicopter thieves squat in shopping mall to hide from Obama supporters -- er, I mean to hide from zombies.

(I know, I know: "Stray, look at these ink spots ... what do you see?") :D

Love your new avatar BTW, looks familiar for some reason...

http://mitarbeiter.dvd-forum.at/ronnie/interview/jackie/1.jpg

strayrider
19-Apr-2009, 02:49 AM
Love your new avatar BTW, looks familiar for some reason...

I don't remember where I got it from ... seems like a thousand centuries ago ...

:D

-stray-

zombie04
19-Apr-2009, 02:57 PM
FALLING DOWN: Life is difficult for white men.

That about sums it up...

sandrock74
22-Apr-2009, 12:35 AM
DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.

LOL!

MoonSylver
22-Apr-2009, 12:49 AM
DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.

LOL!

:lol:

FRANKENSTEIN: Medical miracle has problems adjusting. :D

Wooley
23-Apr-2009, 05:49 AM
These had me chucking pretty good.

DEMOLITION MAN: In a future where crime is completely eradicated, a black man steals and murders.
FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman. (somehow, I don't think Zoe would let Mal boss her around much)
SERENITY: Men fight for possession of scantily clad mentally ill teenage girl.
IT: Children use horrific murders as excuse to run train on young girl.
JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
MILK: Uppity queer dies.
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
RED DAWN: Despite shock-and-awe tactics, a superior occupying force is no match for a tenacious sect of terrorist insurgents.
SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
THE MATRIX: Hacker is given perfect justification for mass slaughter.
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.
WORLD TRADE CENTER: Rag-tag group of underdogs succeed at a massive undertaking despite overwhelming odds, credit success with faith in God.