honest thread about women

[acealive1]

ok just one simple question. guys and girls. have any of u been judged/ dumped or otherwise because of something u dont have? i.e. a car, or your own place, etc etc. even when the girl clearly lies to you saying it doesnt matter?

[Danny]

nope, they'd have to be a pretty shallow, skeevy type to do that.

[acealive1]

nope, they'd have to be a pretty shallow, skeevy type to do that.



well im not saying women/men are all like this but certainly all the ones i've run to. u gotta drive em around, THEN pay for dinner and little small things seem to matter. i was thinkin about it earlier, almost lost the thought but it just came back a few minutes ago so i decided to post it.

[capncnut]

Only good for one thing...




...making a sammitch. ;)


As for the dumpage, it's generally me that does that.


Edit: Ewww, the way I said that kinda sounded 'up my own ass' but what I meant was that I have usually been the decider. I only got dumped once and that was in my teens because (name withheld)'s Christian parents thought I was bad. Most have been mutual or me calling time.

If anyone ditches their partner because of something material then they are dumb.

[deadpunk]

ok just one simple question. guys and girls. have any of u been judged/ dumped or otherwise because of something u dont have? i.e. a car, or your own place, etc etc. even when the girl clearly lies to you saying it doesnt matter?

Nothing matters to a woman when she first starts dating you. What you don't understand is; a woman views a man as a piece of clay. Her job is to mold you into the man she really wants, but can't land :D

Nw, if you don't change to her specifications, she's gonna start minding about shit you didn't even know you do.

:shifty:The secret to a happy marriage?:shifty:

"Yes dear, whatever you've decided."

:lol:

[acealive1]

Nothing matters to a woman when she first starts dating you. What you don't understand is; a woman views a man as a piece of clay. Her job is to mold you into the man she really wants, but can't land :D

Nw, if you don't change to her specifications, she's gonna start minding about shit you didn't even know you do.

:shifty:The secret to a happy marriage?:shifty:

"Yes dear, whatever you've decided."

:lol:


now that is hilarious :lol:




on my trek to pittsburgh, a friend i stayed with leveled with me. he goes "u just gotta find a girl whos wierd matches yours." that spoke volumes

[krakenslayer]

I'm pretty lucky. My girlfriend (partner, I guess, but I hate that word) earns far more than I do and is much more driven and organised than me. We've been together a long time and I know she'd never dump me because of something material - partly because most of the material stuff we own (car, etc.) belongs to her. :lol:

I really wouldn't feel happy in a relationship where I felt that stuff like that really mattered. If a girl wants to dump you because you can't chauffeur her around or spend thousands on holidays or whatever, then fuck that - you're better off out of there! It's not a good basis for a relationship. Material girls (and guys) are usually very self-centred and lack any deep passions or convictions - including in the area of relationships: no matter what you do for them, they'll jump on the next dick that comes along if it comes with a bigger bank account.

Part of the problem can be simply meeting the wrong kind of people, which might be due to the social circles you move in, or a personal preference for that kind of girl (initially).

It can also sometimes be that a guy doesn't do enough to appeal to the girl's passionate, caring side - do one romantic thing every day, you don't have to spend much/any money (for these purposes it's best that you don't), just make her feel liked/loved often enough that she wants/needs to be with you emotionally, and not just materially. Essentially, make yourself indispensable in other ways ;)

EDIT: As a side note, even the most selfless girl will take a huff if the guy says outright: "WHAT!? I ain't paying for this!" when you're sitting at a restaurant table. But hey, this is the 21st century, a girl can take a guy out for a meal once in a while too. :p

[SymphonicX]

Nothing matters to a woman when she first starts dating you. What you don't understand is; a woman views a man as a piece of clay. Her job is to mold you into the man she really wants, but can't land :D

Nw, if you don't change to her specifications, she's gonna start minding about shit you didn't even know you do.

:shifty:The secret to a happy marriage?:shifty:

"Yes dear, whatever you've decided."

:lol:

not that you sound bitter or anything...

---------- Post added at 09:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:50 AM ----------

I guess being in an 8 year relationship I've almost forgotten about this stuff...I've never, ever been with a girl who's been more interested in financial attributes than me - if that was the case, I wouldn't have a reason to be with that chick. If all she cares about is money, then 8 years down the line all she'll care about will still be money.


However without wanting my post to sound a bit sexist I have to say, I've never ever been with a girl like that, and have only met one or two. I dunno I think a person with a concept of this stuff will generally swing away from those types of ladies naturally...whilst those high flying city boys might think only once about dating a girl like that...

However I bet it all exists in the back of every bloke's mind on here: "wouldn't it be cool if I got with a new chick and she turned out to be the daughter of a king/millionaire/lottery winner"

[bassman]

"u just gotta find a girl whos wierd matches yours."

I think that's definitely true. It's working for me, anyway.


As for the thread question....yes. I was once dumped because I lost my job. It wasn't like I was living on the streets. I kept my house and everything. I still think it was just a cover up for something else....

[deadpunk]

not that you sound bitter or anything...



Actually, I'm not. :D Told ya it was the secret to a happy marriage.

[AcesandEights]

Byron said it best. All you ever need keep in mind about women, friend...


Fair, as the first that fell of womankind,
When on that dread yet lovely serpent smiling,
Whose Image then was stamped upon her mind--
But once beguiled--and ever more beguiling;


Everything else is evident upon close inspection :)

[acealive1]

I think that's definitely true. It's working for me, anyway.


As for the thread question....yes. I was once dumped because I lost my job. It wasn't like I was living on the streets. I kept my house and everything. I still think it was just a cover up for something else....







and people thought i was crazy for thinking that.

[mista_mo]

qqXi8WmQ_WM&


i'm not serious

[MissJacksonCA]

I think the women who are most shallow are the ones you really shouldn't be dating. Think of it as being better off they dumped you because you dont have something. Everyone I befriended or dated for a long time was with me because of what I had and what I would share with them and when I stopped I lost them. I became pissed off because I felt like I wasn't enough to be friends with (which could be true but that's another topic) but eff that ... I found out what friends werent.

[clanglee]

Everyone I befriended or dated for a long time was with me because of what I had and what I would share with them and when I stopped I lost them. .

Hmmm. . . .sounds like somebody used to deal. . . . .. :D;)

[deadpunk]

Hmmm. . . .sounds like somebody used to deal. . . . .. :D;)

Not neccessarily... I had the same problem when my wife took my goodies off the market...;):lol::moon:

[clanglee]

Not neccessarily... I had the same problem when my wife took my goodies off the market...;):lol::moon:

http://d3nchsmj89snox.cloudfront.net/images/media/doc/ae0/1232729769-large.jpg

You don't say?

[deadpunk]

http://d3nchsmj89snox.cloudfront.net/images/media/doc/ae0/1232729769-large.jpg

You don't say?

:lol::lol::lol:

Coulda been worse...

[MissJacksonCA]

Meh... you can't share with people what you do without them imagining what you make. Damn people. And then they treat you differently. Damn fools.

[clanglee]

Meh... you can't share with people what you do without them imagining what you make. Damn people. And then they treat you differently. Damn fools.

:D Still sounds like dealing to me. . . .;):p

[deadpunk]

:D Still sounds like dealing to me. . . .;):p

I dunno...could still be pornstar too...;):p

[clanglee]

I dunno...could still be pornstar too...;):p

Good point

[rongravy]

ok just one simple question. guys and girls. have any of u been judged/ dumped or otherwise because of something u dont have? i.e. a car, or your own place, etc etc. even when the girl clearly lies to you saying it doesnt matter?

What about something you DID have... like a wife.
Stuff like that can really get in the way...:lol:

[Eyebiter]

If a woman decides it's time to break up, that means she already has another guy in mind.

[MissJacksonCA]

If a woman decides it's time to break up, that means she already has another guy in mind.

True to that.

[krakenslayer]

If a woman decides it's time to break up, that means she already has another guy in mind.

Well, at least they have the decency and guts to break up first. Gotta give credit where it's due. ;)

[acealive1]

Well, at least they have the decency and guts to break up first. Gotta give credit where it's due. ;)


ha, yea right. i have multiple cousins who want to kick the hell out of my ex. they all liked her, and a significant portion of my family met her.

-- -------- Post added at 06:37 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:36 PM ----------


What about something you DID have... like a wife.
Stuff like that can really get in the way...:lol:



:lol::lol:

im a one woman man, bro. i NEVER have cheated.

[sandrock74]

If a woman decides it's time to break up, that means she already has another guy in mind.

Word.

Or she's already doing him.

[MoonSylver]

Word.

Or she's already doing him.

This.

[deadpunk]

This.

That.

[MoonSylver]

This.That.

http://www.barrettchase.com/thisorthat.jpg

[deadpunk]

This is why I can't stay in a commited relationship. I'm always looking for this, that or the other ;):p

[mista_mo]

Still looking? Have you tried looking for this, that or the other over there maybe?

[Chic Freak]

ok just one simple question. guys and girls. have any of u been judged/ dumped or otherwise because of something u dont have? i.e. a car, or your own place, etc etc. even when the girl clearly lies to you saying it doesnt matter?

She might just be lying, but in some circumstances not having a car or your own place can genuinely get in the way of the relationship.


If a woman decides it's time to break up, that means she already has another guy in mind.

Or another girl. or something better to do. Or her career. Or maybe the hypothetical guy is just an annoying ass. C'mon now.

[acealive1]

She might just be lying, but in some circumstances not having a car or your own place can genuinely get in the way of the relationship.


.

i understand,but then they leave you for someone who has nothing you have and less

[slickwilly13]

I remember a chick in high school. We both had a crush on each other. With her liking me a bit more. Her dad found out. Did his h.w. on me and put a stop to it. Still pissed to this day.

She was one of the richest families in my town. But her money didn't matter, because I liked her. Her dad found out who I was, since he knew my parents from back in the day. Found out where I lived, etc. He also found out, I wasn't a member of the so-called-rich-elite. :rolleyes: I pretty much wasn't good enough for his daughter.

[shootemindehead]

It doesn't have to anything material for a woman to decide that a break up is what she wants. It could simply be a week of "I'm not happy....wahh".

Look, the vast majority of women are self centred and self obsessed, who given half a chance will spend a significant amount of time brooding over things looking for problems, even where there are none.

And, more often than not, she'll decide that it's the man whose at fault for her unhappiness. After all...it MUST be something he's done, or not doing.

I've come to the conclusion that women are, in general, treacherous creatures that are a knife edge of unpredictablity and they need careful watching/attention if a relationship is to continue. But, I think, that it becomes inevitable that the person she is closest to ends up being the cause of all her problems.

I've seen people break up on whims. People that were/are good together, simply because the female got ants in her pants over something that was easily solved. A guy I know split up from his wife a few weeks ago, not by his choice. He's bought a house with her and has a child too and all that has been destroyed now, because she has her knickers in a twist over some trivial nonsense about not being where she thought she should be in her mid 30's! They're both miserable. Of course, it MUST be his fault.

What was called a bad patch in my parents day, is now grounds for splitting up and destroying lives.

I know this post doesn't sound good and maybe a bit sexist, but I see it all the time and can only comment on what I see. In fact, the majority of "relationships" that I know (of my generation) are very choppy affairs, because the female in the equation treat their boyfriends/husbands like shit, while making extraordinary efforts with everyone else.

[acealive1]

I remember a chick in high school. We both had a crush on each other. With her liking me a bit more. Her dad found out. Did his h.w. on me and put a stop to it. Still pissed to this day.

She was one of the richest families in my town. But her money didn't matter, because I liked her. Her dad found out who I was, since he knew my parents from back in the day. Found out where I lived, etc. He also found out, I wasn't a member of the so-called-rich-elite. :rolleyes: I pretty much wasn't good enough for his daughter.



thats kinda how my boss is, well the MAIN boss. u schtup his daughter, u pretty much have a job for life.

[krakenslayer]

I remember a chick in high school. We both had a crush on each other. With her liking me a bit more. Her dad found out. Did his h.w. on me and put a stop to it. Still pissed to this day.

She was one of the richest families in my town. But her money didn't matter, because I liked her. Her dad found out who I was, since he knew my parents from back in the day. Found out where I lived, etc. He also found out, I wasn't a member of the so-called-rich-elite. :rolleyes: I pretty much wasn't good enough for his daughter.

They Live, baby. The answers are all in there.

[Chic Freak]

i understand,but then they leave you for someone who has nothing you have and less

Surely that would suggest your lack of car/ house/ other material goods was definitely nothing to do with the breakup?


I know this post doesn't sound good and maybe a bit sexist, but I see it all the time and can only comment on what I see.

Exactly, so why not just comment on the women that you have seen and not "the vast majority of women", which number billions of people you've never met and know nothing about? Making a pre-judgment on someone based on their sex instead of their actual behaviour is pretty much what sexism is.

[acealive1]

Surely that would suggest your lack of car/ house/ other material goods was definitely nothing to do with the breakup?



Exactly, so why not just comment on the women that you have seen and not "the vast majority of women", which number billions of people you've never met and know nothing about? Making a pre-judgment on someone based on their sex instead of their actual behaviour is pretty much what sexism is.



well see, the girl had nothing............i have my own everything but thats no good when u cant drive for months because of a shattered ankle.

shes with some new guy now and still tries to write me to complain.....and i just hit delete.




and not all women. i shoulda retitled it cuz i asked everyone if they had this happen, not jsut guys. with that said, iw asnt speaking bad of u

[shootemindehead]

Exactly, so why not just comment on the women that you have seen and not "the vast majority of women", which number billions of people you've never met and know nothing about? Making a pre-judgment on someone based on their sex instead of their actual behaviour is pretty much what sexism is.

True. Not ALL women and probably not "the vast majority of women" either.

However, it becomes laborious to put in caveats in conversations dealing in general observations.

[Mike70]

the tone of many of the posts in this thread remind of lyrics to a song:


well, if kurupt gave a fuck about a bitch, he'd always be broke,
he'd never had no motherfuckin' indo to smoke.
i gets loc'd and looney, bitch you can't do me,
do i look like BVD, your hootchie groupie?

some of y'all are jaded as hell.

[mista_mo]

the tone of many of the posts in this thread remind of lyrics to a song:



some of y'all are jaded as hell.

This. I've been mis treated by plenty of women in my life, especially the ones that I've gone out with. Does it make me think of all of them as dumb skanks that are out to rip a man apart? Lord no, that attitude is silly as a bag full of snakes and red peppers. Life sucks sometimes, and people are gonna hurt you for no reason at all, or for some poorly thought out reason. Don't let them drag you down, as you will eventually find someone right for you, that makes you feel good, and treats you like a human being. Regardless of your financial situation, or how much stuff you have, or if you can drive etc.

Getting angry and frustrated over it is just going to drag you down to their level, and turn you into a bitter angry douche that hates the world.


That's the problem, dear, with angry people
They try to go it alone
Digging in and making cranky feeble pleas
That other angries disown
Angry people think a good solution
Is getting others involved
So they surround themselves with happy people
And watch their smiles dissolve

It would be like me thinking that all adult men are wife beating pieces of shit because my step dad used to beat the hell out of my mom in front of me and my brother and sister.

I am sorry to read about your problems man, I really am.

[Chic Freak]

well see, the girl had nothing............i have my own everything but thats no good when u cant drive for months because of a shattered ankle.

shes with some new guy now and still tries to write me to complain.....and i just hit delete.

and not all women. i shoulda retitled it cuz i asked everyone if they had this happen, not jsut guys. with that said, iw asnt speaking bad of u

I know, I was criticising shootemindehead, not you. I'm genuinely sorry you're still getting shit on by your ex :(


True. Not ALL women and probably not "the vast majority of women" either.

However, it becomes laborious to put in caveats in conversations dealing in general observations.

Not really... it's no harder to say, "Woman X did this" or "every woman I know's done this" than to say "the vast majority of women are y and z."

[Tricky]

Ive had several serious girlfriends (and also had brief 2 or 3 week liasons with dozens more over the last 10 years,yup,ive been a male whore :p ) and out of those ive had a few bad break ups, and figured out theres all kinds of reasons a girl will dump you! quite often depending on what stage of life shes in, for example in the 18 - 23ish age bracket a girlfriend who is going off to uni will inevitably dump you,maybe not initially & in rare occasions not at all,but it comes to most & the chances are within a few months of it she'll be with some guy shes met there that shes been flirting with since freshers week, hurts like a bitch when your the one left behind but it happens.

Other times it could be that the feeling has just gone for no real reason,she just falls out of love/lust with you over time, happens to blokes as well, ive broke up with girls for that reason! But being blokes we tend to pick over all the reasons,real or imagined, especially when feeling hurt so we read more into it & take it hard, even more so when we're young & its the first time its happened to us & we havent figured all this whole dating game out yet!

Then you get flighty girls like my last ex who cant stay still more than a couple of months, we had a very intense but brief relationship for about 3 months before she cleared off to work on the cruise liners for 8 months, & despite all the promises of love & waiting for each other till she came back, I later got dumped by text & a day later she announced on facebook she was with some bloke who worked on the ship which left me gutted, nice eh! she's now cleared off to New zealand with him permanently after being back in the uk for about 6 months,far too flighty,self centred & unpredictable that one!

Then onto the petty reasons like how much money you have, friends, hobbies, "not committed enough", girls who ditch you because of something their friends said about you,girls who are chasing several leads & drop you when they manage to bag the best option (not that your aware of being caught up in that game till later),and then girls who will drop you for reasons that only they know about,and if you knew would probably think "WTF??:confused:".

Then theres the genuine reasons, like your an arsehole, or your standing in the way of her career/life plans, or your insanely jealous or just a bit of a weirdo, or your just too damned different despite the honeymoon period clouding judgement!

Us blokes are just as bad though, ive dropped girls for frankly crap reasons, like being fickle about looks, not being exciting enough, cellulite (obviously didnt tell her that, but its what I was thinking :o ), not being into the same things as me, wanting to tie me down etc!

My current girlfriend has been on the scene since the beginning of the year though & although we've had a few hiccups it seems to be going ok,she's far too classy for me though :lol:

[acealive1]

I know, I was criticising shootemindehead, not you. I'm genuinely sorry you're still getting shit on by your ex :(


."





its ok, shes a moron anyway. my only staying power is that i never re date and i dont go backwards.

[darth los]

Exactly, so why not just comment on the women that you have seen and not "the vast majority of women", which number billions of people you've never met and know nothing about? Making a pre-judgment on someone based on their sex instead of their actual behaviour is pretty much what sexism is.


The same reason why women spout idiotic shit like all men are dogs.

That sexism rarely gets criticized though. :rolleyes:

:cool:

---------- Post added at 10:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:18 PM ----------


Exactly, so why not just comment on the women that you have seen and not "the vast majority of women", which number billions of people you've never met and know nothing about?

For the same reason why women spout idiotic shit like men are dogs.

That sexism rarely if ever gets criticized though. :rolleyes:

:cool:

[acealive1]

what i hate is women who give pussy up all day to the wrong guys, and the finally meet a good one and turn him off by putting him through the wringer just to be with her

[deadpunk]

http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc284/thebeergoblin/facepalmthirdparty.jpg

;)

[Chic Freak]

For the same reason why women spout idiotic shit like men are dogs.

That sexism rarely if ever gets criticized though. :rolleyes:

It should do, though.

They're on about domestic violence on the news today and the issue of whether teenagers should be exposed to any media that portrays violence against women as being in anyway "normal" was briefly discussed. I was horrified that no-one mentioned female-on-male violence. I still see films and sitcoms where a woman slapping or punching a man is portrayed as positive or funny, but it is not often portrayed the other way around in this light. I'm not sure what the answer is but it surely reflects an inequality in our social lives.

[darth los]

It should do, though.

They're on about domestic violence on the news today and the issue of whether teenagers should be exposed to any media that portrays violence against women as being in anyway "normal" was briefly discussed. I was horrified that no-one mentioned female-on-male violence. I still see films and sitcoms where a woman slapping or punching a man is portrayed as positive or funny, but it is not often portrayed the other way around in this light. I'm not sure what the answer is but it surely reflects an inequality in our social lives.


:stunned:

It's just refreshing to hear a empowered, independant woman actually say that when clearly you don't have to.


It's just a thought here, feedback is welcome, but it seems to me, in America atleast that women have the upperhand socially. There's a comedian named Bill Burr talking about the behavior of some women who said: "Do you Have any idea what a dick I would be if it were socially unacceptable to hit me?"

And alot of women take full advantage of that fact. You know, you can tell alot about a person's character by how well they treat the people that they don't really HAVE to to treat well. And many women i meet fail that test.


I think what's important is tha we don't shy away from the issue and have a civil discourse about it. How are we to solve a problem if even broaching the subjuct with some women is a non starter?

I'm just saying that the double standard here is alarming. (And I'm not talking about economic issues etc. just social) Most men just consider it a fact of life that women are "allowed" to treat them and talk to them pretty much however they please. Then they want to go on about how chivalry is dead. Oh, chivalry is dead alright and women killed it.

That being said, the over %50 divorce rate is not suprising at all. Now it takes two yes but it also takes two to work problems out and when one partner doesn't feel they have to change at all while at the same time trying to mold a man in what they want them to be how long can that be sustained in a marriage?

Think about it, you hear alot of women talking about what they expect in a man/what they think a real man is and we have to have a good job, be articulate, sensitive be good in bed, help with the house chores, be good looking, let her be independent yet still throw your jacket over a puddle so she can walk over it etc.

Now reverse that and let a man have a list of things that he expects from a woman similar to that and she'd send him straight to hell talking about, "who are you to demand all that stuff from me!?!"

As a man, it's very frustrating. You either give in or spend the rest of your life alone and that's not right.

:cool:

[Mike70]

:stunned:

Then they want to go on about how chivalry is dead. Oh, chivalry is dead alright and women killed it.



indeed it is and it should be, probably never should've been thought up in the first place. i find that whole concept paternalistic and condescending in the extreme.

come on, being told by culture itself that you are too delicate, too frail to hear and see certain things ought to piss anyone in their right mind off. women aren't princesses, they aren't frail creatures that faint at the slightest sign of trouble and they don't have to be tiptoed around in some anachronistic attempt to preserve their "modesty" or "dignity."

[deadpunk]

:stunned:

I'm just saying that the double standard here is alarming. (And I'm not talking about economic issues etc. just social) Most men just consider it a fact of life that women are "allowed" to treat them and talk to them pretty much however they please. Then they want to go on about how chivalry is dead. Oh, chivalry is dead alright and women killed it.

Think about it, you hear alot of women talking about what they expect in a man/what they think a real man is and we have to have a good job, be articulate, sensitive be good in bed, help with the house chores, be good looking, let her be independent yet still throw your jacket over a puddle so she can walk over it etc.

Now reverse that and let a man have a list of things that he expects from a woman similar to that and she'd send him straight to hell talking about, "who are you to demand all that stuff from me!?!"


To be honest, I know more men that fit the above description than women. Most of the men I know still function with the attitude that they are 'king of the castle'.

Change is a basic part of a relationship, and while women are more vocal of their expectations, men are just as guilty. Success in any relationship comes from finding a common ground on mutual terms.

There are things about my wife that drive me absolutely up-the-fucking-wall-nuts. She is aware of every one of them. Some of them, she has changed to keep the peace in our marriage, some of them she will never change. And, consequently, I ignore them for the same reasons. By the same token, my wife has, over time, made it very clear that I need to change X,Y, and Z if I would like to continue to be a happily married man. Likewise, I have changed to some degree and held steadfastly to some of my old habits because I simply can't change. :)

A woman that walks around with the attitude that she can treat men like garbage because they can't hit her isn't poor relationship material. She's a piss poor human being. And, she's likely to end up a lonely, miserable bitch.

We can stereo-type each others' genders all our lives. Bottomline: eventually you find a person that makes you happy enough that you're willing to change for them. And, usually, the change comes from the fact that that individual makes you want to be a better person. That"s not a double standard, that's love ;)

[darth los]

@ Dp and Mike. Good stuff gentlemen.

:cool:

[Chic Freak]

indeed it is and it should be, probably never should've been thought up in the first place. i find that whole concept paternalistic and condescending in the extreme.

come on, being told by culture itself that you are too delicate, too frail to hear and see certain things ought to piss anyone in their right mind off. women aren't princesses, they aren't frail creatures that faint at the slightest sign of trouble and they don't have to be tiptoed around in some anachronistic attempt to preserve their "modesty" or "dignity."

+ 1 000 000

These outdated attitudes aren't good for anybody in the long run because they restrict harmless behaviours that are perfectly alright to express.


A woman that walks around with the attitude that she can treat men like garbage because they can't hit her isn't poor relationship material. She's a piss poor human being. And, she's likely to end up a lonely, miserable bitch.

I think we're going down a dangerous path with the "bitches are bitches because you're not allowed to hit them" thing. It's not a good enough explanation and terrifying someone into passive, agreeable behaviour is not the way forward, as I'm sure we'd all agree.


Bottomline: eventually you find a person that makes you happy enough that you're willing to change for them. And, usually, the change comes from the fact that that individual makes you want to be a better person. That"s not a double standard, that's love ;)

Awwwwwwwwwww <3

[JDFP]

As a man, it's very frustrating. You either give in or spend the rest of your life alone and that's not right.

:cool:

The problem is that people think that they have to change themselves for other people. I have no intention of changing anything about myself for a girl just to date her, similarly, I wouldn't expect for her to change who she is as a person. The only requirements I have when dating a gal are pretty straight-forward and I think fair: Don't cheat on me or I'll kill you (I say this the nicest way possible), don't ever lie to me (at least big/important things, we all have white lies, it's human nature), and don't ever ask me how much money I make in my career because as long as I can afford to have a roof over my head and be good to you that's what matters -- and I won't ever answer that question. So, if a gal has a problem with not knowing the amount of money that I make, hit the road. It's none of anyone's concern except mine and the IRS. In return, I promise that I'll never cheat (and I have NEVER cheated on a girl I was dating), lie (big picture, again), or make an issue of career/income as long as she's working in doing something (preferably legal). If a gal isn't working, I'm not interested in her. I carry my weight, I expect others to carry their weight as well.

Anyway, there's always room for compromise on the little things (chores for example, who pays the light bill, who's parents house to eat at for Thanksgiving, etc.); but as far as a personality type and the interests that a person has (such as watching great horror flicks) another person should never attempt to change this about you. No offense meant to gals, but I've never believed in the philosophy of putting pussy on a pedastal. And you guys know exactly what I'm talking about. If they don't value me for who I am, move on. I have a roof over my head, I have a good job, I make decent money, I can afford my beautiful gal that doesn't nag at me about too much (my darlin' '99 Special Edition Corvette), I've never gone hungry a day in my life, and I have some good people in my life that I consider friends. Would it be nice to have a girlfriend/wife? Yes. Is it necessary for my happiness/existence in this life to change myself as a person to accomplish this? Absolutely no. A piece of tail isn't worth giving up who you are as a person, no matter how good it is. Guys, if you can't find peace with yourself as who you are, you're not going to find peace in the arms of a woman either. In a more respectful manner, women deserve better than you attempting to "find yourself" through them.

j.p.

[Mike70]

The problem is that people think that they have to change themselves for other people. I have no intention of changing anything about myself for a girl just to date her, similarly, I wouldn't expect for her to change who she is as a person.

word. in fact, anyone who tries to pressure you into changing needs to fled from immediately as if you were escaping a burning building. change has to be a natural process and has to flow from yourself. sad thing is, once you reach a certain age, your basic personality traits are pretty fixed.

for instance:
i'm a quiet, reserved and not very social person in real life. i cannot see anything, short of a brain injury, changing that. i have no interest in being a social gadfly and know better at my age to hook up with someone who is very social and outgoing. cause that just ain't gonna work no matter how many of the king's men try to fix it.

[shootemindehead]

Bottomline: eventually you find a person that makes you happy enough that you're willing to change for them. And, usually, the change comes from the fact that that individual makes you want to be a better person. That"s not a double standard, that's love ;)

No, it's not.

It's a scene out of a Jack Nicholson film.


:p

[krakenslayer]

I always try and act "chivalrous" to everyone, regardless of gender, or anything else. Technically, though, that's called politeness. Chivalry is like politeness, only more prejudiced. :D

Same goes for hostility as well, though. If a woman was to physically assault me, I wouldn't have any qualms about defending myself in the same way as if it was a man - women are not necessarily physically inferior to guys. I'm not saying I would just punch a woman, but I'd never punch a bloke either, unless I absolutely had to - like they were brandishing broken glass in my face or something

[deadpunk]

No, it's not.

It's a scene out of a Jack Nicholson film.


:p

Maybe...but in all honesty, nothing would upset me more than to see a look of disappointment on my wife's face when she looks at me.

[kortick]

Hmmm

i dont really think its an issue about gender.
it has to do with wheter u are truly compatable with
the other person, be it a girlfriend/boyfriend or even
a regular friend.

I am still friends with my first serious girlfriend (first sexual one)
that I first dated when I was 13. I still email her and send her
cards and gifts for her birthday and xmas and she does the same
for me.
Even though our relationship didnt work out into what everyone
thought would be a marriage, we managed to stay in touch over
the years and miles cuz we care about each other.

we just knew that if we got married one of us would kill the
other one eventually. we are too similar in some ways.
and oddly, being too similar and realising it lead us to
see we really werent compatable regardless of the other
factors.

a lot of times the things about the person that we know
is gonna cause a problem is right there in the open but
we choose not to see it.

I hear people say they are dating someone cuz they 'dont want to be
alone'. So they settle for someone who they know it isnt gonna work
with, which is beyond my understanding.

do women manipulate? sure. But so do men.

[Chic Freak]

Right on.

A distinction should be made between a partner trying to control you by pressurising you to change in ways you don't want, and a partner trying to help you by encouraging you to grow, mind.

A personal example is that Liam has "changed" me by encouraging me to stick up for myself in situations where I need to, which is especially useful for me as I am mostly contracted by older men (photographers), the minority of whom can sometimes go on a power trip because they're used to dealing with daffy teenage girls who'll take shit from them. Not me though :elol:

[capncnut]

Maybe...but in all honesty, nothing would upset me more than to see a look of disappointment on my wife's face when she looks at me.
It's the same with me and my girlfriend. There are a few things I have had to change about myself because I can't bear to see the sadness in her eyes or hear her voice crack on the telephone...

...not only that but she'll nag my ass off and I wont hear the end of it. :D

[krakenslayer]

It's the same with me and my girlfriend. There are a few things I have had to change about myself because I can't bear to see the sadness in her eyes or hear her voice crack on the telephone...

...not only that but she'll nag my ass off and I wont hear the end of it. :D

Had to hang up the ol' stockings and high heels, eh Cap? :D

[DjfunkmasterG]

Nothing matters to a woman when she first starts dating you. What you don't understand is; a woman views a man as a piece of clay. Her job is to mold you into the man she really wants, but can't land :D

Nw, if you don't change to her specifications, she's gonna start minding about shit you didn't even know you do.

:shifty:The secret to a happy marriage?:shifty:

"Yes dear, whatever you've decided."

:lol:

LMGDMFAO -

My Secret to a happy marriage.... DON'T GET MARRIED




on my trek to pittsburgh, a friend i stayed with leveled with me. he goes "u just gotta find a girl whos wierd matches yours." that spoke volumes

Good advice


I think the women who are most shallow are the ones you really shouldn't be dating. Think of it as being better off they dumped you because you dont have something. Everyone I befriended or dated for a long time was with me because of what I had and what I would share with them and when I stopped I lost them. I became pissed off because I felt like I wasn't enough to be friends with (which could be true but that's another topic) but eff that ... I found out what friends werent.

So the supply line was cut off eh?


Hmmm. . . .sounds like somebody used to deal. . . . .. :D;)

Was thinking the same thing.


My Thing is this... Every woman I meet, date, fuck whatever gets the same information as the rest.


I don't follow orders
I do not learn new tricks
Constant begging will not get you what you want (Unless sexual)
I hate whiners
I will always check the menu, but will not order off it when i am with you
You WILL NOT drive my car
I will be more than happy to go shopping with you as long as we stop at the big boy toy store too
I will not conform to what you want, this is what you get take it or leave it
I need space
Cheat on me and you're gone! NO SECOND CHANCES!
Please don't force me to like your friends. I will tolerate them, but don't make me have to like them I will only resent them even more, if we click we click, if we don't I know how to be civil.
My filmmaking career is very important to me right now and if I am making a movie you may not get my full 100% attention, but when it wraps I promise to give you plenty of face time to make up for lost time.
I am not an open person on every issue
do not try and analyze me


There are a few others but this is the top stuff that comes out and if they don't like it... Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

[MoonSylver]

No, it's not.

It's a scene out of a Jack Nicholson film.

No...HERE is a scene from a Jack Nicholson film:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-I5oiqRlej4&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-I5oiqRlej4&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

That pretty well encapsulates all the suppressed rage I've been bottling up inside.;) (2:19 is where is really kicks into high gear)

I feel a lot better every time I watch that. I usually laugh 'till I cry.:lol:

[capncnut]

Had to hang up the ol' stockings and high heels, eh Cap? :D
Nah, I had to quit the drunken 4am phone sex with you. :D

[shootemindehead]

No...HERE is a scene from a Jack Nicholson film:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-I5oiqRlej4&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-I5oiqRlej4&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

That pretty well encapsulates all the suppressed rage I've been bottling up inside.;) (2:19 is where is really kicks into high gear)

I feel a lot better every time I watch that. I usually laugh 'till I cry.:lol:

Wrong film :D That was before he turned into a gobshite.


<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/q_vrU1KlU3I&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/q_vrU1KlU3I&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>


Oh dear....you say that and that's what you'll be held to forever.

Jack "I was watching the football!"

Helen "I want to watch Eastenders!"

jack "But, I was here first!"

Helen "What happened to being a better man, eh?"

Helen "Oh fuck off Helen, I'm going back to Ann Margret. At least she had the sense to just stay in bed all day!"

(Door slams)

[MoonSylver]

Wrong film :D That was before he turned into a gobshite.

Yeah that was kinda my point. Mushy later day "You make me wanna be a better man" Jack doesn't speak to me. Young angry "I'M ALL TAKEN UP BY ME!!!" really taps into my inner fury.;)