PDA

View Full Version : charles bronson (the british criminal)...



Mike70
04-Dec-2009, 12:40 AM
this dude cracks me the fuck up. he's considered the most violent prisoner in the britian and actively tries to keep it that way.

some guys in jail take up weightlifting, dominoes, cards, etc. this guy's favorite jail pastime is taking hostages.

this is my fav and features probably the greatest ransom demand ever:


In 1994, while holding a guard hostage at Woodhill Prison, Milton Keynes, he demanded an inflatable doll, a helicopter and a cup of tea as ransom.

another classic:


In 1998, Bronson took two Iraqi hijackers and another inmate hostage at Belmarsh prison in London. He insisted his hostages address him as "General" and told negotiators he would eat one of his victims quickly unless his demands were met. At one stage, Bronson demanded one of the Iraqis hit him "very hard" over the head with a metal tray. When the hostage refused, Bronson slashed his own shoulder six times with a razor blade. He later told staff: "I'm going to start snapping necks - I'm the number-one hostage taker." He demanded a plane to take him to Cuba, two Uzi sub-machine guns, 5,000 rounds of ammunition, and a cup of beans. In court, he said he was "as guilty as Adolf Hitler". He said: "I was on a mission of madness, but now I'm on a mission of peace and all I want to do now is go home and have a pint with my son." Another seven years were added to his sentence.[

you can't make shit like this up.


Bronson has spent a total of just fourty months and nine days out of custody since 1974.

and to sum it all up:


Bronson has served all but four of his years in prison in solitary confinement due to a number of hostage situations, rooftop protests, and repeated attacks on prison staff and on other inmates. His dangerous behaviour has meant that he has spent time in over 120 different prisons, including all three special hospitals: Broadmoor Hospital, Rampton Secure Hospital, and Ashworth Hospital

i'm sure the capn will have a bit to say about this scoundrel.

clanglee
04-Dec-2009, 01:44 AM
I wish that guy was my uncle. Hilarious!!

capncnut
04-Dec-2009, 04:20 AM
He apparently holds the world record for dwarf throwing, claiming to have thrown one thirteen feet in a competition.

deadpunk
04-Dec-2009, 02:35 PM
A cup of beans? :lol: Like...wtf?...speechless...

Tricky
04-Dec-2009, 07:05 PM
His appearance is class as well :lol: theres a bloke works on the paintball site I go to who looks the spit of him
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/06/05/article-1024542-01808EBD00000578-957_468x586.jpg

krakenslayer
04-Dec-2009, 07:33 PM
Elephant in the room: Bronson is a fucking tosspot.

Tricky
04-Dec-2009, 07:44 PM
I cant help but wonder if it will really smack him in the face at some point that he's needlessly spent the best years of his life at her majestys pleasure & that he'll realise what a big waste of time it all was!

krakenslayer
04-Dec-2009, 08:38 PM
I cant help but wonder if it will really smack him in the face at some point that he's needlessly spent the best years of his life at her majestys pleasure & that he'll realise what a big waste of time it all was!

I'd guess it probably has done already, but I'd wager his reaction to the realisation would be the same as every other time he has been faced with a problem in his life - i.e. he started taking hostages. :lol:

Mike70
05-Dec-2009, 04:45 AM
I'd guess it probably has done already, but I'd wager his reaction to the realisation would be the same as every other time he has been faced with a problem in his life - i.e. he started taking hostages. :lol:

:lol::lol:

he's obviously a tosspot but i must admit i'm a bit fascinated by anyone this determined to make a nuisance of themselves.

to think that this dude was originally banged up for stealing £26 and change from a post office in 1974 is fucking insane. here it is, full on 35 years later, this dude is still in the clink (with a few, brief visits to the outside).

MoonSylver
05-Dec-2009, 04:43 PM
:lol::lol:

he's obviously a tosspot but i must admit i'm a bit fascinated by anyone this determined to make a nuisance of themselves.

:lol:

There is a sort of devotion to one's craft present, isn't there? (In this case being a professional nut job & pain in the systems ass....)

Mike70
06-Dec-2009, 02:01 PM
everyone from priests to presidents and from teachers to... everybody... everybody does that

are we to take this to mean that no one is a somebody? what does someone have to do to make the leap to somebody?


nobody must become somebody or the nobodies will never be somebody and the anybodies will get jealous of both the nobodies and the somebodies.:shifty:

MoonSylver
06-Dec-2009, 08:13 PM
nobody must become somebody or the nobodies will never be somebody and the anybodies will get jealous of both the nobodies and the somebodies.:shifty:

http://reporter.blogs.com/.a/6a00d83451d69069e20120a6a042f2970c-320pi


"[After a series of subtitles about mooses]

We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.

[More subtitles about mooses]

We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

[Credits about mooses]

The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked."

;):D

SymphonicX
07-Dec-2009, 10:13 AM
Charlie Bronson...what a nutcase!!!! He seems to hold himself on this pedestal and only wants accolade for what he's done...the thing is, he's contributed entirely NOTHING to the country except huge bills to keep this insane bloke in solitary confinement...!!!!

Still, he's a character, that's for sure.

The only thing this person has proven, to the world and especially Britain, is that you can't keep fighting the system, if you do you'll just end up in a little box and the whole world forgets you...no one cares about Bronson except as a curiosity piece, and no one seems to know why Charlie does the things he does, not even Charlie knows really...he's totally off the chain.