dating advice for a friend

[acealive1]

so i woke up an hour ago to my friend calling my phone practically hysterical.

he met some chick online, she came back to his place hung out, ate dinner with him and just generally had a good time from what i heard from him BEFORE the phone call.



she apparently was there for most of the day as well.


so anyway, he calls me an hour ago like "omg man, she's gone"


so im like gone where?



apparently she left him in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. didnt take anything that wasnt hers,but left him all the same. keep in mind she drove three hours to see this dude.

i didnt have a reaction or an answer for my friend but just told him i'd be there for him if need be.











can anyone shed any light?

[krakenslayer]

Could be anything. Probably some personal issue of the girl's, not likely to be your friend's fault.

If it was something he did then he would have noticed a reaction at the time. Sometimes it can be difficult to judge other people's motivations for doing things, particularly where emotional issues like love and relationships are involved - the complexity of feelings and internal conflicts, the role of the person's history (things about her that he would know nothing about), and straightforward compulsiveness, make it impossible to say for sure.

[bassman]

Also....maybe she just had somewhere to be(weekday = work)? It's possible that she just left in the middle of the night and it has nothing to do with him. She could call him back tomorrow. Sounds strange, but it's happened before.

Good luck to your friend.:p:sneaky:

[Danny]

Sounds like your friend just had a run in with a woman with some prior issue or even some emergency, theres tons of possible things that could happen but if it sounds like your friend didnt do anything wrong. People have there own stuff in life to deal with, sounds like this gal had her own to deal with- or just run out on.
Either way, more fish in the sea, your friend shouldn't dwell on it.

[MikePizzoff]

Your friend needs to chill the fuck out. He shouldn't be near hysterics over someone he spent less than 24 hours with leaving without warning. If I barely know somebody, I don't feel there's any need for me to tell them my business (IE: waking them up in the middle of the night to let them know I'm leaving).

[Darksider18]

Well If Your Friend Met This Girl Online, Then She Probably Didnt Expect The Day To Go So Well, And With The Night Ending With Them Sleeping Together, She Would Practically Be Shocked And Scared Because The Date Is Going A Bit Too Well For A First Meet. She Left Probably Out Of Shock. And In This State She Really Would Not Of Cared About The 3 Hour Drive Back.

[AcesandEights]

My thoughts exactly. Sounds like he either needs to grow up or get out a bit more.

And get a blood test if he banged her.

[Danny]

And get a blood test if he banged her.

Oh god yeah, reminds you of aid's mary don't it. brr, shats you right up to think of it.

[acealive1]

i dont think they did the deed. i was half asleep on the phone triyng to understand it while my fiancee was liek "who's that, who's calling this early?"


just kinda creeped me out to get a phone call like that so early in the morning. i thought someone was dead or something

---------- Post added at 12:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:08 PM ----------


Also....maybe she just had somewhere to be(weekday = work)? It's possible that she just left in the middle of the night and it has nothing to do with him. She could call him back tomorrow. Sounds strange, but it's happened before.

Good luck to your friend.:p:sneaky:


whats with
the italicized 'friend' thing,man?

[bassman]

whats with
the italicized 'friend' thing,man?

You know...the old "my friend *cough cough*" joke. In other words, you're asking for yourself but saying its a friend to avoid embarassment. Just poking fun.

[acealive1]

You know...the old "my friend *cough cough*" joke. In other words, you're asking for yourself but saying its a friend to avoid embarassment. Just poking fun.



ohh :lol: sorry. just was an early morning on account of a phone call.

but no sir, it's not me. that's called cheating and i cant do that shit

[bassman]

that's called cheating and i cant do that shit

Wha? Because she left in the middle of the night you consider it cheating? I would have to disagree with that. As mentioned before, she could have left for any number of reasons and there's a good chance it has nothing to do with him. Give him the advice of waiting X-amount of days. Like Swingers. :lol:

[acealive1]

Wha? Because she left in the middle of the night you consider it cheating? I would have to disagree with that. As mentioned before, she could have left for any number of reasons and there's a good chance it has nothing to do with him. Give him the advice of waiting X-amount of days. Like Swingers. :lol:


:lol:

i kinda dont want anything to do with it while im on vacation from work. but i'll do my best

[SymphonicX]

get an STD test is my first advice

second is to phone her up and just tell her how dissapointed he was to see that she left and hope she can see him again

then make no further efforts to speak whatsoever - after a little stunt like that, the ball's in her court.

[slickwilly13]

Seriously, your friend has some issues. I was going to respond to this earlier, but had to leave for class. But Pizz, Hell, Bass, and Krak pretty much covered what I would have typed or said to someone. That's very weak and stupid of your friend. What is she, a 10? Even if she is, it is some chick he met online who lives 3 hours away. Who only hung out with him in person for most of the day. Sounds to me like he is fixing to set himself up for some serious heartbreak.

[acealive1]

get an STD test is my first advice

second is to phone her up and just tell her how dissapointed he was to see that she left and hope she can see him again

then make no further efforts to speak whatsoever - after a little stunt like that, the ball's in her court.


he didnt do anything with her.

[bassman]

he didnt do anything with her

What. A. Crime.

[acealive1]

What. A. Crime.


:lol::lol:


idk, i just kinda dont get girls in ohio. the majority of them have issues no matter what.


but then they put out to guys that have no interest in them.

---------- Post added at 04:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:16 PM ----------


Seriously, your friend has some issues. I was going to respond to this earlier, but had to leave for class. But Pizz, Hell, Bass, and Krak pretty much covered what I would have typed or said to someone. That's very weak and stupid of your friend. What is she, a 10? Even if she is, it is some chick he met online who lives 3 hours away. Who only hung out with him in person for most of the day. Sounds to me like he is fixing to set himself up for some serious heartbreak.



i texted him earlier, he said he texted/called her as soon as he found out she was gone. that was earlier today and he got no response. so in my estimation, she's a bit of a fuckin flake for wasting his time.

[bassman]

i texted him earlier, he said he texted/called her as soon as he found out she was gone. that was earlier today and he got no response. so in my estimation, she's a bit of a fuckin flake for wasting his time.

Well at least it's not so bad now that we know he didn't have any sexual relations with her. He's got away scott free.

If he had sex with her, she left and never talked to him again - THEN it would be a bad situation. As said before....call the doctor!

[krakenslayer]

Seriously, your friend has some issues. I was going to respond to this earlier, but had to leave for class. But Pizz, Hell, Bass, and Krak pretty much covered what I would have typed or said to someone. That's very weak and stupid of your friend. What is she, a 10? Even if she is, it is some chick he met online who lives 3 hours away. Who only hung out with him in person for most of the day. Sounds to me like he is fixing to set himself up for some serious heartbreak.

Yeah, exactly. I could imagine I would feel a little upset and rejected, but hysterics? Nah.

Obviously, though, he feels the way he feels, and rightly or wrongly, the fact remains that he's upset about it. He's totally over-reacting, but, from experience, just telling someone to "man up" is not enough to actually help the situation. You can support him without either pandering to his insecurities or beating him over the head with them: tell him some crazy stories about your own conquests that didn't go to plan, make him see it's not unusual or tragic when such things happen.

Tell you a story:

Six years ago I went out to a bar to get hammered. I was alone at a table and ended up being joined by a group of girls (the seats by me where the last in the pub). I got talking to one of them, and as the night progressed we both got progressively shitfaced. At some point, I ended up back at her's. Nothing sexual happened, as far as I can remember, but I ended up passing out on the bed.

At about four a.m., I must have risen for the bathroom but, finding myself in a strange dark room, unable to find the door, completely asleep and totally wrecked, I ended up taking a piss in the corner of the room (I don't remember this part but apparently I did). Later, I must have wandered out into the hallway, before I finally "came to".

At this point, I had no idea which room I had emerged from (I remember walking into the wrong one and being told to fuck off by her terrified German flatmate), I was wearing only my underwear (a pair of boxer shorts, thank god) and could find only my boots which I had left in the kitchen.

Not knowing what part of the city I was in, or even what city I was in, I decided the best course of action was to make a break for home and pray I didn't get picked up by the cops. I charged out into the night wearing only my underwear and a massive pair of army boots. Luckily I was only about twenty minutes walk from my home, but, to avoid being spotted by the law and arrested for indecent exposure, I decided to cut through Kelvingrove Park, well away from the main roads. Kelvingrove Park was, at that time, a meeting place for homosexuals who enjoy nocurnal outdoor activities. I have never in my life run so fast while so drunk.

I made it home unmolested but, of course, didn't have my keys. Thankfully, I lived on the ground floor, so I climbed through the bushes outside my flatmate's bedroom and began banging on his window. He peeked through his curtains, saw a half-naked guy trying to climb into his room and freaked out...

Long story short, I woke up in my own bed, mid-afternoon the next day with the worst hangover and a massive sense of "HOLY SHIT! WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT!?" hanging over me like a thundercloud.

Pretty fucked up story, right? One to tell the guys after a few beers when we're all recapping on our grossest, most embarrassing moments.

But where am I going with this? Well... that girl... we've been living together very happily for five-and-a-half years now.

Just because she walked out doesn't mean it's over. ;)

[acealive1]

Yeah, exactly. I could imagine I would feel a little upset and rejected, but hysterics? Nah.

Obviously, though, he feels the way he feels, and rightly or wrongly, the fact remains that he's upset about it. He's totally over-reacting, but, from experience, just telling someone to "man up" is not enough to actually help the situation. You can support him without either pandering to his insecurities or beating him over the head with them: tell him some crazy stories about your own conquests that didn't go to plan, make him see it's not unusual or tragic when such things happen.

Tell you a story:

Six years ago I went out to a bar to get hammered. I was alone at a table and ended up being joined by a group of girls (the seats by me where the last in the pub). I got talking to one of them, and as the night progressed we both got progressively shitfaced. At some point, I ended up back at her's. Nothing sexual happened, as far as I can remember, but I ended up passing out on the bed.

At about four a.m., I must have risen for the bathroom but, finding myself in a strange dark room, unable to find the door, completely asleep and totally wrecked, I ended up taking a piss in the corner of the room (I don't remember this part but apparently I did). Later, I must have wandered out into the hallway, before I finally "came to".

At this point, I had no idea which room I had emerged from (I remember walking into the wrong one and being told to fuck off by her terrified German flatmate), I was wearing only my underwear (a pair of boxer shorts, thank god) and could find only my boots which I had left in the kitchen.

Not knowing what part of the city I was in, or even what city I was in, I decided the best course of action was to make a break for home and pray I didn't get picked up by the cops. I charged out into the night wearing only my underwear and a massive pair of army boots. Luckily I was only about twenty minutes walk from my home, but, to avoid being spotted by the law and arrested for indecent exposure, I decided to cut through Kelvingrove Park, well away from the main roads. Kelvingrove Park was, at that time, a meeting place for homosexuals who enjoy nocurnal outdoor activities. I have never in my life run so fast while so drunk.

I made it home unmolested but, of course, didn't have my keys. Thankfully, I lived on the ground floor, so I climbed through the bushes outside my flatmate's bedroom and began banging on his window. He peeked through his curtains, saw a half-naked guy trying to climb into his room and freaked out...

Long story short, I woke up in my own bed, mid-afternoon the next day with the worst hangover and a massive sense of "HOLY SHIT! WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT!?" hanging over me like a thundercloud.

Pretty fucked up story, right? One to tell the guys after a few beers when we're all recapping on our grossest, most embarrassing moments.

But where am I going with this? Well... that girl... we've been living together very happily for five-and-a-half years now.

Just because she walked out doesn't mean it's over. ;)










:stunned::stunned::stunned:



that story kicks ass

[MikePizzoff]

Good story, Kraken, but I think that's a little phobic of you to think you have to run for your life past homosexuals because they're going to molest you... :confused:

[acealive1]

Good story, Kraken, but I think that's a little phobic of you to think you have to run for your life past homosexuals because they're going to molest you... :confused:



it's just a human reaction lol

[MikePizzoff]

it's just a human reaction lol

A homophobic one...

[krakenslayer]

Pizz - at that point in time, sexual violence was a popular pastime in Kelvingrove Park, and rarely would two weeks go by without some young guy getting raped in there at night. Bear in mind, we're not talking about the 1950s when gay men were pariahs, forced to liaise in parks and public toilets. Glasgow has a thriving, and vibrant gay scene, well catered to by numerous gay bars, clubs, etc., so those who chose to use the park as their stomping grounds were, by definition, a less salubrious element who got their kicks out of public sexual exhibitionism, indecent exposure, and beating their sexual partners to a pulp.

For the record, I'm one of the least homophobic straight men I know (although perhaps a poor choice of words misled you on that point), but the park really was a genuinely dangerous place to hang out back then, especially if you didn't have any clothes on. They seem to have cleaned it up a lot now, though.

[MikePizzoff]

Kraken, it's all good. I had no idea that the place was like that - sounds pretty fucking scary! The way it came out just seemed like typical homophobic fashion to me ("That guys gay? That means he wants to rape any and every dude!") But now I get it, sorry dude.