The Top 12 Things You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support

[Cykotic]

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

"That's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

"So -- what are you wearing?"

"Duuuuuude! Bummer!"

"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n."

"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with '60 Minutes.' Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

"Hold on a second ... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"

"OK, turn to Page 523 in your copy of 'Dianetics."

"Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

[Cody]

"So -- what are you wearing?"

I can imagine some 40 year old fat guy who still lives with his mom saying that

and has a foot fetish

[Cykotic]

You've just described the people that I used to work with!!!

[p2501]

actually i've heard a worse on.

"OOOHHHH that ain't good."

this was said to me by an HP rep, with a horrible indian accent.

[Eyebiter]

Sir, that smell is magic smoke. Usually we turn OFF the PC first, then try to reseat the sound card.

or

Sir, when I asked you to reseat the video card you were NOT supposed to take the monitor apart. Please reassemble the "screen" before you accidently electrocute yourself.

or

Sir, you drilled holes through the computer to secure it to a desk, and in the process destroyed the motherboard. Now you expect our company to pay for the replacement motherboard?

or

So you threw the defective motherboard in the garbage? You are aware that we will need to charge you the $800 for the replacment part if the defective components are not returned? This is part of the RMA process.


After doing tech support for a few years - it's amazing how *&*$ing stupid some people can be.

[Danny]

"woah,k sucks to be you"

"have you tried uninstalling all the grpahics drivers on the pc?"

"im sorry i dont understand the question"

"yes,...yes...okay...heres what you do click onstart, program files and deltete everything"


and many many more.

[Mike70]

how bout a guy with a thick indian accent telling you that his name is craig jones. swear to god this happened to me once. this dude straight up sounded like apu but insisted his name was craig jones.

[glsjaw]

and the #1 first response given by a old school tech is:
"so your computer isn't working, Can you reach around back of the PC and make sure the cord is pluged into the wall"

Swear to god I heard it at work one day and the sad thing was the PC got unplugged somehow and just need pluged in

[MapMan]

how bout a guy with a thick indian accent telling you that his name is craig jones. swear to god this happened to me once. this dude straight up sounded like apu but insisted his name was craig jones.


The same thing happened to me two weeks ago. I had to call Linksys about
a router issue. I couldn't understand the guy. I think it was Craig.

[creepntom]

alt f4 fixes everything :D

[Rottedfreak]

how bout a guy with a thick indian accent telling you that his name is craig jones. swear to god this happened to me once. this dude straight up sounded like apu but insisted his name was craig jones.

When you enquired further he said "You'll find out soon enough who I am infidel, free bit of advice stay clear of malls on christmas."

[p2501]

how bout a guy with a thick indian accent telling you that his name is craig jones. swear to god this happened to me once. this dude straight up sounded like apu but insisted his name was craig jones.


i've gotten that.

the guy from my above post, his name was Doug.

shea riiiiiiight


When you enquired further he said "You'll find out soon enough who I am infidel, free bit of advice stay clear of malls on christmas."


i just spit out coffee, that was great.

[MinionZombie]

"IT" ... "Have you tried turning it on and off again?" :lol:

Did anyone else watch "The IT Crowd"? Damn that was funny.

[twistbud]

I will be tech support.......

Caller: Hi, I can't get on.
Me: OK, that sounds serious. Can you be more specific?
Caller: It says my password is wrong.
Me: Is you caps lock on?
Caller: Yes

Caller: Hi, I can’t print
Me: Do you have paper in the printer?
Caller: No

Caller: My computer won’t turn on.
Me: Are there lights on the front of the computer?
Caller: Yes
Me: Is your monitor turned on?
Caller: No

Caller: I just changed my print cartridges and now I can’t print.
Me: Did you take off the little sticker from the cartridges?
Caller: What sticker?

:D

[Wooley]

Give my creation life!

Can I talk to you about component donation?

[Cykotic]

"IT" ... "Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

Did anyone else watch "The IT Crowd"? Damn that was funny.

The IT Crowd was genius!!! Well, the next series is showing next year!!!