want to find out who your friends really are?

[Mike70]

go through some life changes and you'll find out. the last year or so, i've gone through one of the most massive shifts in attitudes, ideas, and outlook i've ever had. in that time i've stopped drinking, smoking cigs, and using drugs of any kind.

i think i might have 2 or 3 actual friends.:lol: :lol::lol:

it is fucking amazing how fast the rats leave the ship when the party is over. the words "i don't smoke weed anymore" are like kryptonite to folks that are only interested in what your smoking and not who you are.

so, i've jettisoned a bunch of dead weight from my life both chemically and socially. it feels great.

[Trin]

Friendships are typically defined by commonality, not personality. So if you stop doing the things that your friends do you can expect to drift apart. Even if everyone involved is a really good, solid person. Not to suggest that your previous drunk user friends were, of course.

[LouCipherr]

I've always said that while I know lots of people, I maybe have 5 real friends in my life - ones I could call up at 3am and say "hey, dude, I need you to help me bury this body" and their immediate response would be "where and when do you want to meet?"

The rest of the people are just acquaintances.

[Mike70]

I've always said that while I know lots of people, I maybe have 5 real friends in my life - ones I could call up at 3am and say "hey, dude, I need you to help me bury this body" and their immediate response would be "where and when do you want to meet?"

The rest of the people are just acquaintances.

true but i'm not going to help anyone bury a body.:lol: bring you some gas at 3 am - no problem. bail you out of jail - no problem. i draw the friendship line way before getting involved in criminality comes into it.

[LouCipherr]

true but i'm not going to help anyone bury a body.:lol: bring you some gas at 3 am - no problem. bail you out of jail - no problem. i draw the friendship line way before getting involved in criminality comes into it.

But that's what real friends will do. Anything you need. Remember the phrase "A friend in need is a friend indeed"? Well see, I have this body I need disposed of, and... :stunned: :shifty:

There's also a saying that goes, "Friends help you move. REAL friends help you movie bodies." :D

Seriously, that was just me being goofy, but I think you understand what I mean. In a more realistic scenario: if one of my real friends called and said "I'm 2 hours away and I realize it's 4am, but could you come pick me up and take me home? I'm too wasted to drive." I'm there. I may bitch about it, but I'd do it none the less. Same with the bail out of jail, bring gas, etc. Basically, I'd do just about anything (non-felony related! :lol:) for my real friends. For acquaintances? I'd have to think about it. ;)

[slickwilly13]

go through some life changes and you'll find out. the last year or so, i've gone through one of the most massive shifts in attitudes, ideas, and outlook i've ever had. in that time i've stopped drinking, smoking cigs, and using drugs of any kind.

i think i might have 2 or 3 actual friends.:lol: :lol::lol:

it is fucking amazing how fast the rats leave the ship when the party is over. the words "i don't smoke weed anymore" are like kryptonite to folks that are only interested in what your smoking and not who you are.

so, i've jettisoned a bunch of dead weight from my life both chemically and socially. it feels great.

Same boat. I cut down on my weed consumption to 2-3 times per week. I am smoking one now and it is my first since Sunday. My so called friends knew that I will graduate college, again, this August. And they are aware that I will quit for good in order to establish my career. As of now, they think I quit a week and a half ago. No one has been around since. I talked to this one guy last Friday and he was cool about coming over, until I told him I quit. In fact, it was one of the first things he brought up. He never showed up or answers his phone. So fuck him and rest.

You're better off without dead weight dragging you down. Some losers will never change.

[AcesandEights]

I have to give up my occasional smoke to find out who my true friends are?

Doesn't sound worth it...

Let me labor under my delusion of being loved by the masses.

[bassman]

I had the same thing happen to me. Quit smoking a few years ago and haven't seen some of my "friends" since. Having a kid probably had something to do with it too. I swear some people think you have a disease or are incapable of having fun after becoming a parent...

[AcesandEights]

I swear some people think you have a disease or are incapable of having fun after becoming a parent...

Well...






























Is it true?

[Tricky]

I've done that at several points in my life, I had a big clean out of friends in my late teens among the small town types I used to hang around with who had no ambition or drive to do anything other than hang around smoking and drinking in their hometown, and I've ditched a few friends in recent years who used to ditch me everytime they got a new girlfriend but come crawling back asking if I fancy a night out when they got dumped. Im a good & loyal friend to those who have time for me, but I dont have time for "friends" who only want to know me while their single, but who forget I exist as soon as they get a new girlfriend, proper friends dont do that! Obviously when any of us are with a partner we spend a fair bit of time with that person, its only natural, but I've known a lot of lads who have an all consuming approach to relationships & they cant even find the time for a sociable midweek beer every once in a while once they get attached! :rolleyes:
And Mike - I had a bunch of smoker friends in my late teens & once I stopped smoking they all disappeared too, funny that :lol: and as far as I know they're still living the same lives which revolve around getting stoned & sitting around night after night, never doing anything worthwhile or exciting

[bassman]

Is it true?

I haven't been to the doctor in a while, but I feel okay.

Fun seems to be a rare thing these days, though.:lol:

[Debbieangel]

I found out who my real friends are when I was down on my back sick!
I was paralyzed and in order for me to come home I had to have a network of people looking after me. I was on my feet but not too mobile.
It was soo cool to have friends and family there in most darkest hour.
My friends and family understand when I can't go help them due to this crummy disease.
Now that is friendship, not afraid to give and expect things in return!!!( I do help when I am able to).

[EvilNed]

I'm a non-smoker (weed-wise). Okay, I'll puff on one now and then, but I can safely say it's about 6 months apart or so between joints. Yet I live and hang with people who do it almost on a weekly basis (and my very, very best friend does it on a daily basis).

I don't know, they didn't mind when I cut back. I guess I'm just that awesome.

[acealive1]

damn dude thats messed up when friends dont come around anymore for whatever reason. i had a friend who i let live with me and the bastard finked out on rent for like 3 months then moved to new york. sometimes its when u do something FOR a friend u find out how much of a friend they really are

[Wyldwraith]

Thought about, and gone through a lot related to this issue.

To understand the context, I first have to explain a portion of my past. From the time I was 18 until I was 24 I was HEAVY into the Camarilla, which is White Wolf's (a gaming company that produced Vampire the Masquerade) fan club, and more to the point, a Vampire Live-Action Roleplaying club with a national continuity linking the events of every local game of 30-50 people into a cohesive national whole.

I wasn't as over-the-top as the real fanatics, but LARPing WAS my primary hobby and social activity. 90% of my friends at that time were also LARPers and members of the Camarilla.

Fast forward to when a friend of 12yrs sold me out/got me kicked out of the Camarilla *SOLELY FOR IN-GAME ADVANTAGES FOR HER CHARACTER*.

One DAY after my Expulsion was made official, ALL my "friends"...even the ones I'd known nearly twice as long as the 6yrs I was in the Camarilla...lost my phone number, and if we bumped into each other around town, pretended they didn't notice me.

Shortly thereafter my health problems became so crippling that other than going to see my M.D or to the hospital, I'd become unable to leave the house by the time I was 25 almost 26. Out of the non-LARP/non-Camarilla friends who'd stuck by me until then (about 5 people)...4 dropped me like a plague rat, leaving me with one real friend.

My point is that it goes way beyond changing any specific aspect of your life. If you cease to be willing or able to take part in activities/actions you once shared as a primary means of socializing, everyone but your VERY FEW ***REAL*** friends will vanish like snow melting on an unseasonably warm day.

I used to find that painful, but eventually I learned that losing such acquaintances, far from being a true loss, was the best thing that could've happened to me. It taught me how rare and precious REAL friendship is, and that a real friend is essentially a sibling in all but the genetic sense of the word.

From what I've heard here and elsewhere, this sort of behavior is commonplace, sad as that is. Even sadder is that many people will live, grow old, and die without ever knowing what it's like to have a genuine lifelong friend.

To me, a real friend is family we choose, as opposed to people we're often merely genetically associated with. Hellish as my life is, my 2 real friends are a huge part of why I keep slogging through each hellish day.

[clanglee]

Friends are highly overrated anyways Mike. I get by just fine without them. My group of friends, when I was younger, were all cemented by love of the weed. When I started getting paranoid and a little crazy from the weed (and various other fun drugs) I kinda went into a seclusion. In their defence, a lot of my friends tried to pull me out of my shell, but they gave up after a while and let me alone. When I finally recovered enough to get back out there, I realised that hanging out with anyone who was not family made me kinda uncomfortable. It still persists to this day, but for me it's a trust issue thing I think. I just plain don't trust folk. . .and that really hampers any possibility of a real friendship. Now that all sounds bad. . .but it's really not. . . I trust my family. . I've got them. . and on the whole I am kind of a loner by nature. So not having friends greatly reduces my stress level. The less upkeep in my personal life, the better.

[Yojimbo]

sometimes its when u do something FOR a friend u find out how much of a friend they really are
Wise words, acealive. Too true.

---------- Post added at 07:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:27 PM ----------




i think i might have 2 or 3 actual friends.:lol: :lol::lol:

Mike, you always seem as a cool dude, so I'm sure that you have more than 2 or 3 friends that would watch your back.

Anyway, most folks would consider themselves lucky to have 1 friend that they can rely on, so in that sense with 2 or 3 you are a very lucky person.

[Trin]

ones I could call up at 3am and say "hey, dude, I need you to help me bury this body" and their immediate response would be "where and when do you want to meet?"

Is she hot and how long has she been dead?

[rongravy]

I don't know, they didn't mind when I cut back. I guess I'm just that awesome.

Hahahaha, more for them!!!


This is why I smoke alone. Well... that and I get to hear what music I wanna hear. And not have to share my munchies...

I once had a "friend" that couldn't lend me enough money to buy a car battery to go see my parents for XMAS a long time ago, but she offered to lend me more than that so I'd have weed she could smoke up for the holidays...
Fucked up. Apparently, after all these years since then she lost all her dealers. So she started calling me up again. I was like, "Uhhhhhh, how about no?"

[JDFP]

Is she hot and how long has she been dead?

What's funny as hell (although equally in part morbidly sad and probably a bit disturbing) is that I had the same thought and just (barely) kept myself from posting it here. :sneaky::D

j.p.

[acealive1]

Wise words, acealive. Too true.

---------- Post added at 07:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:27 PM ----------


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i try. i had to find out the hard way by trying to help a friend to a job and a place to live. may he burn in hell. LOL




i checked his facebook and this asshole is all trying to make me look like the bad guy. you motherfucker, I tried to help YOU. also hes in a pool and havin fun and shit but "didnt have money to pay rent because he owed his parents" yea ok. moved to new york just fine though. so thats why i threw away an entire rooms worth of clothes and stuff. asshat.

[MikePizzoff]

I'm a non-smoker (weed-wise). Okay, I'll puff on one now and then, but I can safely say it's about 6 months apart or so between joints. Yet I live and hang with people who do it almost on a weekly basis (and my very, very best friend does it on a daily basis).

I don't know, they didn't mind when I cut back. I guess I'm just that awesome.

Same. We're like bizarro versions of each other.