I just Farted and its Smells like...Describe your Farts

[Gabe_dead]

I just Farted and its Smells like sinder block with burnt coal and steam.... aka Swamp Water.... yuckkk

[Tricky]

Mine smell like cat shit thats gone through a lawnmower this morning, had to drive to work with the windows down, and normally I like my own brand! :barf:

[MinionZombie]

I haven't had a proper woofter of a fart in ages. Mine just make a lot of noise ... and sometimes they tickle on the way out. :lol:

Lou's stink of gange though - he's got the gange-guffs. ;) *in joke*

A few years ago though at Christmas I had a shedload of sage & onion stuffing balls, and good god - the stench emanating from me every 60 seconds was hilariously heinous. :lol::hurl::lol:

[Tricky]

Its worse when you fart in the bath & a properly strong bubble breaks the surface, the smell is intense! Or those bed farts that linger under the duvet!

[rongravy]

Musty. The only time I get rotten egg farts is when I'm sick. My wife's are like that everytime. Send her to Bin Laden's caves, and let her gas him out of there. If anybody could, it'd be her. I have no idea how she does it.

[Danny]

Once i farted and i swear my arse said Phillip.

[MinionZombie]

One time, many years ago, I was watching an episode of Hale & Pace and they did this skit where they were farting The Blue Danube (IIRC), and I needed to fart, and I managed to join in (albeit briefly) ... one of my fondest farting memories. :p

[Gabe_dead]

So for years here in Los Angeles I have been a club promoter, various venues here in L.A and Hollywood etc, to the point, I ate blu cheese and cabbage and for me thats the bad combo, so the club was packed with good looking girls,, so I did a drive by, I went to the dance floor and ripped one, but I know it would smell bad because I felt a gust of heat at the bottom of my jeans so I walk away and I just see everyones face looking like their going to puke, I have to say it smelled like fire water with rotten egg and a touch of dead puppie....

[MinionZombie]

:lol::lol::lol:

Nice one Gabe - fart bomb ... sly. :D

I think this thread inspired a gastric revolt within me, for last night my gufters were a bit on the rich side. :shifty:

[bassman]

And just when everyone thought it wasn't possible....HPotD has reached a new low. :lol:

[Tricky]

Thats when you know a fart is going to be fucking vile, when you get that hot waft with it, those ones could peel wallpaper & they tend to linger as well, proper air biscuits! Your normally in two minds as to whether you should go & wipe after one of them too :lol:

[Gabe_dead]

My daughter is 5 years old and she rips little German V-1 and V-2 rockets, and the funny shit is, I know she farted because I could see her face with a big smile and we just got Dutch Oven-ed in my Lexus... they smell like old sox with garlic and Animal Crackers....lmfao....

---------- Post added at 06:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:24 AM ----------

yes the ones with hot are always the smelly ones, the other day my mom came over and came in my room and asked why it smelled like rotten bacon....lol

---------- Post added at 06:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:25 AM ----------

Thank you, I call Those Hot Bombers....lol

[LouCipherr]

Lou's stink of gange though - he's got the gange-guffs. ;) *in joke*

lol, people get stoned off my farts! :D


And just when everyone thought it wasn't possible....HPotD has reached a new low. :lol:

Hey, which was worse - this or the "itchy balls" thread Dj started months back?! :lol: :lol:

[Gabe_dead]

well were men we have itchy balls and have smelly farts...that just the way it is...lol

[AcesandEights]

but I know it would smell bad because I felt a gust of heat at the bottom of my jeans...

Emphasis mine. At the bottom??? :lol:

That's a lot of high pressure exhaust, my friend! Literally had me laughing at my desk this morning.

[MinionZombie]

Thats when you know a fart is going to be fucking vile, when you get that hot waft with it, those ones could peel wallpaper & they tend to linger as well, proper air biscuits! Your normally in two minds as to whether you should go & wipe after one of them too :lol:

So true. Happened to me last night ... one time I did have to check, just to make doubly sure I didn't need to wipe afterwards. :lol:

Speaking of farts, I remember back at uni one of my housemates was always ripping horrific guffs into his computer chair (textile, not leather seat cover) and it was ... *gags* ... really bad. He spent a day, after a few years of having this chair, just spraying it constantly with Febreeze. Good god it was bad. lol

[Gabe_dead]

I just ripped a Barking Spider in the shower, its smelled like Macaroni Cheese with a touch of Axe Chocolate Shampoo ...My eyes turned red

[LouCipherr]

I just ripped a Barking Spider

:lol: My wife calls them something similar sometimes.. "Hey, did you hear that Rocky Mountain Barking Wolf Spider?" :lol:



one time I did have to check, just to make doubly sure I didn't need to wipe afterwards

That moves out of FART territory and into SHART territory, MZ! :lol: :D

[MinionZombie]

Calling your farts any variety of mythical "spider" is news to me. WTF is that all about? :confused:

Lou - fortunately it was still a fart, and not a shart ... ... although one time, actually no, two times in my life I have sharted. :shifty::o:lol:

[acealive1]

i have farts sometimes that smell so bad that once at work i let one go and didnt say anything and the guy next to me said it could peel the color paint off anything. others have said throw up. and other times it smells like a refinery

[Legion2213]

And just when everyone thought it wasn't possible....HPotD has reached a new low. :lol:

I have learned to have faith in this place and it's cracked denizens. There are NO LIMITS as to just how deep we can dig into the mire of unpleasant things that should not be discussed on civilised forums! :p

Oh, sharting, thats fucking horrible...the hot wet sensation of humiliation! :D

[BillyRay]

811

how's this...timely enough for y'all?

[Gabe_dead]

Farts --- Barking Spiders, Stepping on a Dead Ducks Stomach, Fire Water, Hot Bomber, Swamp Water, S.B.D Silent But Deadly, Air Bisicuts, Dutch Oven, Sweetish Bakery.... :D

---------- Post added at 02:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:28 PM ----------

oh yea Sharting like legion Said, half shit half fart, Hershey Squirts...

---------- Post added at 02:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:30 PM ----------

one thing I did notice about when I fart, is if you check out your boxers after some time, youll notice and almost beige bleach spot around were the fart comes out almost as if the fart is asking like a Tie Die....lmfao

---------- Post added at 06:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:31 PM ----------

just let one out in my hallway smelled like old aligator skin with burning break pads... my mom called me a filthy pig. lol

[SymphonicX]

This thread has made me proper chuckle today!!!

Once a few years back I'd been eating nothing but crap for a couple of days - on this particular day, on weekend, I was training a new guy on the job who was looking to join the company as a freelancer...Halfway through the training I needed to fart SO badly, it was like when you puff your cheeks out full of air ready to make a really loud raspberry at someone...So I let as much out as I dared to - there was a slow release capability that day so I chuffed out little bits of it one by one hoping that no one would notice....

Bad idea! The fart was so warm the back of my legs felt the hair shift with the tempature - I decided then and there that this was NOT the sort of fart that could be left unnoticed. I left the room and went to the loo where I unloaded an explosive amount of shit into the toilet and one of the worst smells I could ever imagine.

When I went back into the room, the guy I was training was standing outside crying....I shit you not, tears were coming down that motherfucker's face. He wiped them away and managed one sentence before lapsing back into hilarity: "You really dropped a fucking bomb in there mate"....I went back into the room (and this must have been five or ten minutes later by now) and the smell was just fucking unbelievable. I left the room with tears in my eyes and laughing so hard I couldn't speak...

funnily enough that guy never came back and we never finished the training!

[Gabe_dead]

Thats and Epic fart, I call those "Whistleing Petes" when it sounds like a mini bullet train coming down the tracks... and then when the fart is almost over it lets out a gust of hot air... lmao

[Ghost Of War]

My farts are LOUD. They don't smell that bad that often, they just go on for a while and make a noise. My wife's brother, on the other hand, can clear a packed room. We were playing football a while back (11 a-side), and he let one rip. I'm not kidding, everyone on the pitch (it was indoor) was heaving, it smelt like a family of otters had been dead in his colon for a month.


My daughter is 5 years old and she rips little German V-1 and V-2 rockets, and the funny shit is, I know she farted because I could see her face with a big smile and we just got Dutch Oven-ed in my Lexus... they smell like old sox with garlic and Animal Crackers....lmfao....

My daughter is 6, she's always farting, and she thinks it's hilarious. Proper raspers.

[Tricky]

I notice this thread hasnt gone down well with a few members in another thread, however being a fan of childish, inappropriate toilet humour, I think its hilarious, carry on :lol:

[BillyRay]

Qux5lBIAXko

[LouCipherr]

Hey, I just farted, and guess what? It smelled like the elections yesterday here in the US.

In other words, it stank, and really bad.


Awww shit, did I just say that out loud? :elol:

[Legion2213]

I notice this thread hasnt gone down well with a few members in another thread, however being a fan of childish, inappropriate toilet humour, I think its hilarious, carry on :lol:

Threads like this are what keep me coming back to this place...we all need some silliness in our lives. :D

[Gabe_dead]

Broken Mud Dam, I was taking a shit preceded by some farts and as I was cleaning my ass my finger broke through the Toilet paper and low and behold, I had kaka paste all over my finger, it was sick , I could decided How I was going to finish whipping my ass or get up and wash my hand then continue to whipe. True Story.... lmfao....

[ProfessorChaos]

are you sure you're 30? goddamn, between starting this thread and the disgusting posts you've made in it, i'd guess you're about 13.

[Gabe_dead]

Yea Professor, I am 30 and I pay a mortgage and run a business crazy ha, but this is the only place I can be myself.... True Story.... 11/30/79

[ProfessorChaos]

well, i wasn't trying to be as harsh as that probably came off, but the other day i had this hot chick i'm interested in over at my place and my laptop was open to these boards and this thread was at the top of the "newest posts" page. didn't realize it till we sat down on the couch and i glanced at my screen and saw what was at the top of the page..luckily, i found some excuse to look something up and navigated away from the page before she noticed.

while i freely admit to any and everybody i'm a zombie dork and am proud to belong to this fine community of fellow fanboys and uber-geeks, that moment was the first time in the 4 years i've been posting here where i was actually embarrassed that a girl saw my browser open to these boards. in fact, the last 2 serious girlfriends i've had have both actually gotten in to the whole zombie thing and think it's "cute" how nerdy i am for the genre at times, but with a new chick who doesn't know me and a thread about "describe your farts" at the top of the page, it was quite an uncomfortable moment.

[Gabe_dead]

I live a doubble life, meaning none of the honeys I mess with know. That I love. Zombies but the fact is I do, and its not a conversation you can strike up with just anyone, but I always erase my browser history and close my browser before I have a potential lay come over.. That's page 2 on the player hand book, always cover your tracks. All bs aside I love you guys for being down with the zombies...

[jded]

This thread has me cracking up the most in a long time, but then talking about farts always includes a bunch of giggles.

You ever been at the grocery store walking down the aisle by yourself and you let one loose? You pause a little and keep going, and then that speedy gonzales lady turns the corner and she's coming your way. You make a quick left and duck around the corner into the next aisle, and you know she's smelling it right now. I've even wanted to shout, "don't come down this way!"

Lately mine have been smelling like not much of anything, just a tremendous amount of air and a super wicked earthly sound.

[MikePizzoff]

:lol: This thread is hilarious! The day I stop laughing at farts is the day I die.

I actually have a joke-band with my buddy called The Fartists. We've got an 18-track CD out and an X-mas EP recorded, soon to be released.

Anybody interested, get in touch with me and I'll put you on my shitsmas list for it.

[Tricky]

Ha ha I have a fart machine app on my phone, it has an amazing array of different fart sounds from the squeakers to the massive ship horn type! Farts are always funny, there should be no age limit on laughing at them :D

[MinionZombie]

My housemates bought me a fart machine for one of my birthdays whilst I was at uni. It didn't half make me laugh, I tell you. It even cracked up my folks - everybody loves a fart noise! :D

Last couple of days however, I've not been farting with confidence. I think it was a microwave burger that did me in, which hasn't happened for a good 6 or 7 years ... I'll avoid them for a while methinks.

[krakenslayer]

The other day a friend of mine did a fart that smelled like piss. Still not sure how that works.

[rongravy]

Broccoli. Been eating healthy...