Have some fun! Remove some ambiguity!

[Trin]

Alright, this is a purely fun thread to fill the time around here till something of substance comes along.

The basic premise is that you take a scene or topic from any of the Dead movies and rewrite it to have no room for interpretation by us nitpicky fanboys.

Example... in the "old priest" thread we've bantered about whether the priest was infected, and whether they were already in the basement.

With a simple change of dialogue for Peter we have our answer:

Peter, upon seeing Roger... "You're not just in this partially underground laundry room that is off the main floor hallway and is also up a short flight of stairs from the actual basement of this building by yourself boy. And by that I don't mean that there are ghouls in this room, nor am I referring to the uninfected old priest who is about to come in from the room that is heavily implied to be the cellar, but which is in fact the doorway to the aforementioned short flight of stairs leading to the basement."

So any ages old questions can be answered here! Have at it!

[AcesandEights]

Excellent idea for a thread, Trin. I'll give it some thought and see what I can come up with....oooh, didn't even finish typing and I know which one I'll be doing.

[bassman]

Stephen: "What time is it?!?" (types a few words) "That's right, b*tch. It's MY time."

Also...

Cholo: "In this Land of the Dead, you gotta make tha money first. Then when you get the money, you get tha power....."

[Rancid Carcass]

Ted (to Sarah) - "What's he trying to prove? I saw one of those things eating lesbians in Fiddlers Green. Didn't make me wanna be it's friend".

[strayrider]

Stephen: What in the name of the traditional Biblical reference for a place of torment is that rather large structure surrounded by parking lots down there?

Roger: In my opinion, it appears to be the latest trend in retail marketing since urban decay caused the migration of people from cities to suburbs. It is called a shopping mall. In this instance, one in which the various outlets, J. C. Pennys for example, are located inside the structure to protect consumers from the elements.

[glazedoverdead]

Francine, just after telling Stephen she's pregnant...

Francine, "Ok Stephen look...I'm not really pregnant, ok? I'm throwing up because I'm just really sick of eating Spam!

Stephen, "Then why in the hell did you tell me you were pregnant? So I wouldn't leave you?"

Fancine, "No Stephen...I told you that so you would feel obligated to teach me to fly in case something happened to you and I needed to get our "child" to safety. Look... I'm going to be totally honest with you Stephen...You're a wimp, an idiot, and a terrible shot with a gun...I'm pretty sure you're going to get yourself killed. I want to learn to fly so the rest of us have a chance at survival. Besides, Peter can take better care of my needs and I'm pretty sure that, if I'm going to spend the rest of my life stuck with a choice selection of men, I'm going to be procreating with Peter anyway."

Peter, " Ha ha ha, oh Burn Stephen, burnnnn!!"

[AcesandEights]

[as Kaufman walks out of the elevator with two bags in his hands]

Board Member: What's in the bags?

Kaufman: In short, money, but in essence a medium of exchange of the old world that we have appropriated to our use as a societal control in a somewhat forced and small-scale mirror of pre-apoclypse society. Thankfully it is portable, but whether it will serve me well will, should I actually escape from this human settlement on the verge of destruction, depend on how much work I did in advance of this situation influencing other outposts (that hopefully still exist, though we have not heard from at least one of them in some good long while) or my ability to be a cagey and manipulative bastard in some newly discovered or set up human colony.

Board Member: Whose money?

[Kaufman reaches for his gun]

Kaufman: Watch out, Get down! Quick! Look that way, I need to distract you.

[pulls Board Member down and shoots him]

Kaufman: ...Ours...but what I really mean is mine, now that I've killed you and plan on taking off with it.

[strayrider]

Night 90.

Ben: “Since you are not wearing clothing--specifically denim coveralls and a baseball cap-- that I usually associate with persons living in rural areas, is it safe for me to assume that you and your family are not “neighbors”?”

Harry: “Although it may be stereotypical of me to counter your assessment of my place of origin by injecting race into this dialog; may I suggest that you, being an African-American in redneck country, do not exactly look like a “neighbor” either. “

:D

-stray-

[Yojimbo]

Officer with bullhorn: "Martinez - and by Martinez I am referring the guy wearing the bandana around his head and not the other dude who is obviously not Rico but that other guy who is with you guys but who is not Martinez - there are no charges against you-"

Roger: "Yet!"

(And then later)

Roger: "Don't go out there, Martinez!!!"

[Legion2213]

Night 90.

Ben: “Since you are not wearing clothing--specifically denim coveralls and a baseball cap-- that I usually associate with persons living in rural areas, is it safe for me to assume that you and your family are not “neighbors”?”

Harry: “Although it may be stereotypical of me to counter your assessment of my place of origin by injecting race into this dialog; may I suggest that you, being an African-American in redneck country, do not exactly look like a “neighbor” either. “

:D

-stray-

Ha! That is gold! :lol:

[krakenslayer]

Peter: Look here man, I...

Roger: I know, shut up will ya!

Peter: But Roger, you're the only man who didn't turn his back on me after... turning his back to me. If you died I would be deeply upset.

Roger: Don't cry Peter... we'll always have the fisting.

Peter: I love you, Roger.

Roger: I love you too, Peter.

:lol:

[glazedoverdead]

Night '90:

Harry: "Now when I called you all a bunch of Yo-Yo's, what I really meant was, that it is my humble opinion (please take it for what it's worth) that you gentlemen and ladies have made a terrible error in judgment in believing that you can fortify the upper levels of this quaint little domicile and keep the undead citizens of this town from coming through every opening in the house and dismembering all of you. I am of the persuasion that the windowless basement that my family is now resting in, protected from threats of violence from the hordes of undead, is the most intelligent choice for our dwelling during this time of danger and chaos. Furthermore, I am allowing you one chance to make the only sensible decision, which to cease with this nonsense of attempting to barricade all of the doors and windows up here and to join us downstairs before I secure the only entrance to said protective shelter."

Ben: " Well Harry, although I do genuinly appreciate your hospitality and consideration of our safety, I must humbly decline your current offer for the time being. You see, I have contemplated several aspects our situation here and foreseen the many possible outcomes that we may face given the different choices (and we do have several choices) that we are now faced with. I will continue to fortify this domain to the best of my ability while there is still sufficent time to do so, however, I would apreciate it if you would consider leaving the door to the basement open and unlocked, just in case my original plan fails us and we need to make good our escape from this part of the house to the basement. In addition, I must say that when I told you that you could be boss down there, but that I am boss up here, what I really meant was that I will allow you to pretend to have some sort of control over the basement at this time because you clearly have issues with being in control, and suffer from an inferiority complex. I will also pretend to only be in charge of the upstairs, while in all reality I am secretly planning to take control of the entire house because I feel that I have superior leadership qualities. Let us not forget that I am also bigger and stronger than you Harry and I will, if forced, beat you to a bloody pulp and take back what small amount of authority I have currently given you.

[Trin]

That's some nice, nice stuff!

I could do these all day... and speaking of Day...

In Day, as the group is getting off the chopper:

Sarah: Another grave?

Torres: Yes, Major Cooper died this morning from complications resulting from the bite wound he suffered accidentally two days ago while handling a ghoul at the zombie pen. Rhodes had nothing to do with any of that, by the way. Dr. Logan was the sole physician onsite this morning, so he verified the time of death and destroyed the brain. We of course took his word for that as no one of us military ever goes in his lab. We simply buried the sheet covered corpse he delivered to us. Haha... we didn't even check for dog tags!

Sarah: So that leaves Rhodes in charge?

Torres: Yes. I think we will miss the calm and collected leadership of Major Cooper which, while not perfect, has kept us disciplined enough to survive these 8 months and 7 days since the initial outbreak. Even Miguel, who is totally straight, was fine up until this morning. And just in case you wondered, we are all fine with the two of you carrying on in spite of the fact that none of us is included. So did you find anything in today's search?

Sarah: No, nothing today. We went quite a ways up and down the coast from our present position of not being on an island. We did have clear radio contact with Cleveland, who is still fine. They say they have enough supplies to last just under 3 years.

[strayrider]

Dawn 78

POLICE DOCK

Stephen: “What is your destination?”

Bogus Cop: “Our intent is to steal one of these boats. Afterward, we will navigate south on the river in an attempt to make it to the islands.”

Stephen: “What islands?”

Bogus Cop (shrugs): “We have neglected to plan that far ahead. Currently we have chosen no specific island as a destination, thus I suppose that any island we come upon should function as a suitable place of refuge. How about you? Where are you headed?”

Stephen: “Once my companions are on board, I will activate the controls of this helicopter causing it to rise in a vertical manner.”

:D

-stray-

[sandrock74]

Day of the Dead (1985):
Rhodes: "I am overseeing this primate area of land devoted primarily to the practice of producing and managing food, fibers, and, increasingly, fuel and I wanna know...what the fuck you're doing with my indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole!"

whew....that Captain Rhodes is a long-winded fellow!

[Legion2213]

Day of the Dead: Original

Steel: Fuckin' A! Biggest piece of meat in the cave (and by that, I mean that I have the largest penis in this hastily assembled research facility and due to my rather brutish and simple mind, I happen to think that it somehow makes me a superior lover and the most desirable male in this location).

[Trin]

Day of the Dead: Original

Steel: Fuckin' A! Biggest piece of meat in the cave (and by that, I mean that I have the largest penis in this hastily assembled research facility and due to my rather brutish and simple mind, I happen to think that it somehow makes me a superior lover and the most desirable male in this location).I hate to be critical... and by that I mean I *love* to be critical... but was there any actual ambiguity in what Steele said that needed to be clarified? lol