Steve Niles' Remains on Chillertv

[Sammich]

Is this going to be any good? The first I heard of it was a commercial on Chillertv.

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[bassman]

I can actually see the studio executives thinking this one over. "Well....The Walking Dead worked, why can't this???" :rolleyes:

Well....the difference is that The Walking Dead doesn't look like a "syfy" original. This on the other hand looks like complete garbage.

And just to make sure i'm clear, was that a human hampster ball I saw in there? As absurd as that is, I have to give it to them - that's a new way to defend against zombies....

[EvilNed]

Those zombies seem like the most annoying zombies I've ever seen. When you're irritated by the zombies in the trailer, the show is probably not going to be very good.

[Ragnarr]

Hmm... not quite sure how the thermonuclear detonation seen in the distance ties in with the zombies. They look like the Snyder runner type. Heck, I'd still likely watch it just to see if it sucks and how badly so.

[blind2d]

That made my stomach sad.

[Ragnarr]

Just noticed; at 55 seconds, is that the Green Beret Terry Schappert from the show Warriors? I pretty certain that's him.

[Sammich]

And just to make sure i'm clear, was that a human hampster ball I saw in there? As absurd as that is, I have to give it to them - that's a new way to defend against zombies....

Well, it is supposed to take place in Reno, so maybe they have a Circus Circus type casino that has an even bigger ball that those motorcycle stunt riders speed around inside while trying to avoid hitting each other.

[MrMarine57]

Steve Niles show "Remains" which aired last night SUCKED! It was poorly written, the cast was horrible, totally confusing and pretty much just HOKEY! Steve Niles is simply trying to profit off of the success of the popular and WELL WRITTEN, ACTED AND FILMED, AMC's the Walking Dead.

I actually started liking the show in the first ten minutes. Some type of nuke or neutron bomb is set off for the good of man kind but something goes terribly wrong and everyone exposed is immediately "zombiefied". After that the movie just went to hell. Watching Remains was like staring into the sun. Half way through the show I was actually rooting for the zombies.

To me it felt as if Steve Nile's had filmed an eight hour show and then left seven hours of it on the cutting room floor.

The female lead, Evalena Marie started the movie as a bitch, remained a bitch and died a bitch. Did I say "die". Hmmmm, let's see. First she was ten feet away from a massive C4 explosion which would have blown her to pieces, however, in the next scene you see her alive in the casino. Then just seconds later she's being attacked and torn apart by a gang of zombies. Flash forward to the very last scene and you see her pretty much undamaged standing on a car with zombies stumbling around her. WTF!

Co-star Grant Bowler had two acting styles during the show. Dull and duller. Did his character eat a lot of lead based paint chips as a kid? The rest of the cast isn't even worth mentioning.

I apologize for my rant, however, in closing I'm pretty sure that after watching Steve Niles show "Remains" my IQ has gone down. I'm sure that Niles is trying to set it up for a sequel.

GOD HELP US ALL!!

[Mike70]

the zombies falling "asleep" is one of the dumbest fuckin' things i've ever witnessed. ever.

what a sorry piece of dog shit this thing was.

i'll echo someone above: this just reeks of some fucker in a suit somewhere saying "hey, walking deads a hit. zombies are big now. we need our own zombie show."

again, whole thing was an absolute pile of shit from jumpstreet.

[Sammich]

My review of Steve Niles' Remains

I went through 3 phases while watching Remains:

1) Interest
2) Embarassment
3) Unconsciousness

The movie started out at least with a "new" setting which was the casino town of Reno, but then it went downhill like a wheel of cheese at Cooper's Hill.

The main problem is that, once again, the characters all look as if they just stepped out of the pages of GQ and none of them were even remotely likeable. I actually wanted to see them get killed just not to have to see anymore of their irritating arrogance and stupidity in hopes of maybe, just maybe, some realistic characters would show up. With something like this abomination, chances of something like that happening were between slim and none, and slim had already left the building.

EMBARASSMENT

You know a movie is bad, and I mean really bad, when a feeling of ebarassment quickly starts building up. I am talking about the feeling of shame you felt after a roommate walks in while you are interactively watching the latest installment of "Innocent Until Proven Filthy".

Zombies sleeping while standing up? Wtf man, what else do they do chew cud and moo? I haven't heard of anything this stupid since vampires that glitter in sunlight.

The "military" guys were just plain idiotic stereotyped thugs. What was the deal with that guy wearing that thing that looked like a neck brace? Was the rest of his body as stiff as his acting? Now that I think about it maybe the neck brace was used symbolically as in this movie is like watching a car wreck in action. I have a pre-occupation with realism when it comes to firearms and Remains was driving me bonkers. These low budget stinkers always have the "military" guys each with completely different non-issue weapons. Most people will never notice this, but to me it is irritating as hell.

Soon after came the revelation that the zombies not only liked to eat people and animals, but also other zombies and even THEMSELVES. That's right, it is an emo cutter's wet dream come true: get reanimated and throw away that razorblade, because now you can make a bold statement by chewing off your own arm!

UNCONSCIOUSNESS

Right around the 1 hour 30 minute mark, is when I fell asleep from all of this excitement. Not to worry though as Chillertv thought this would be a premiere movie event on par with TWD and showed it 3 MORE times in succession. Oh joy.

This whole mess was really a team effort and even the makeup crew got into the suckfest. I swear it looked like they went dumpster diving at the Land of the Dead set and dug out all of the "lone ranger mask" zombie appliances from the trash and reused them in this movie.

Don't get me wrong, this film still does have one redeeming quality: it didn't dethrone (and not by much) Zombie Nation as the absolute worst zombie movie I have seen.

What so many of these MBA idiots who are merely trying to cash-in on the current zombie fad, is that they are so full of narcissist delusions that they think the fans of shows such as TWD are idiots.The reason why TWD is so sucessful is that the characters are ordinary people placed in an extraordinary situation. When an audience can identify with someone such as a Rick, Dale, Glenn, or even the psychopaths, Shane, it creates a building interest in the show. They become like virtual extensions of yourself, performing as action as you probably would under that set of circumstances. You want to see what happens to them as the story continues on. You don't want them to get killed off.

Making movies with main characters composed of extraordinary people placed in extraordinary circumstances is best left to superheroes like Batman and Superman.

[Mr.G]

I didn't watch it but if it was anything like the comic book...it probably sucked major ass!