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View Full Version : All you need for the zombie apocalypse!



Tricky
08-Jan-2012, 01:10 PM
I follow Wes Borland on Twitter (I'm not a Limp Bizkit fan, but I like his guitar skills & his stage costumes) and he's currently talking about Zombies, he posted these links up which are pretty cool! Although it frightens me to think that psychopaths can actually buy these blades and have them sat at home :eek:


http://zombietools.net/

And he says these are the best tools for if you need to build stuff

http://www.deadonstore.com/tools.htm

And that this is the best hideout

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/anti-zombie-fortress

:cool:

Wyldwraith
09-Jan-2012, 06:47 AM
Nice site Tricky.
I did a little checking and, disregarding the narrative, someone I know who's killed 3 unpleasant and religiously-misguided undeclared combatants with edged implements says that the weapons on that page (the serious ones, forget the scythe etc) are quite capable of dismembering quite a few human beings with a minimum of training, upkeep and little fear of damage to the blade(s) (assuming you don't do something stupid, like try to halve a skull from the top down, for example).

As far as online sites go, it's one of the highest-quality merchandise-to-price-point sites I've seen, and probably where I'll snag my next implement of death.

Sammich
09-Jan-2012, 09:35 AM
IMO the zombietools stuff is way overpriced and is being marketed to those that want pretty wall hangers.

It is better to buy reasonably priced functional blades from Cold Steel or even Cold Steel Special Projects which sells at significant discount closeouts of their end of production runs and cosmetic seconds.

The Deadon stuff is legit construction equipment and can be bought at local hardware stores such as Orchard Supply Hardware.

Tricky
09-Jan-2012, 11:52 AM
They do look cool, but theres something that screams "serial killer" about someone actually buying one to keep at home :eek: Any girl I've ever dated would have run a mile if she'd come to mine and seen evil looking machetes up on the wall!

Thorn
09-Jan-2012, 12:36 PM
http://www.deadonstore.com/tools.htm

And that this is the best hideout

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/anti-zombie-fortress

:cool:

Interesting links, honestly I am not spending extra cash on tools designed to help out with a zed outbreak, it is just impractical. I have tons of tools, and conventional weapons that will server me nicely. Your best weapon is your brain, and your own body and both of mine are quite sound. (okay there are some mental issues... but who doesn't?)

That said they were cool links, the zombie fortress was a meme for a long time MY FAVORITE?

964

AcesandEights
09-Jan-2012, 01:26 PM
Wait, he believes that blades are a good general weapon against zombies (plural!)?

He auto-invalidated his opinion. :p

Thorn
09-Jan-2012, 05:11 PM
Nothing like getting side the splatter zone for wet work with slow moving hordes of undead whose blood and bite make you one of their ranks...
;)

Of course I would want melee weapons but really I would rather not have to use them, or any weapons really. I would rather just create distance, and keep it. Anytime I needed to terminate one I would try to do so at range where possible, and if at range wearing full protective gear. Perhaps that was what they had in mind, weapons like these in conjunction with goggles and scuba suits and the like. If you had to get close, could not avoid it sort of thing.

Wyldwraith
09-Jan-2012, 05:21 PM
No,
What I was relating that my ex-military friend said was the quality and type of steel. You see so much supposedly "Battle ready" crap marketed these days...and for good reason. High quality steel isn't cheap...especially when hard commodities are up while currencies are down. Everyone knows about financial types that invest a lot of money in gold and silver, but the same can also be said for copper, aluminum (because aluminum requires some SERIOUSLY environmentally-unfriendly chemical processes to manufacture), and of course, steel.

Whether or not a melee weapon is a "good" choice versus an unnatural predator that is 90% insensible to slashing wounds and 95% of stabbing wounds is a completely different subject. My friend's opinion was rendered on the criteria that several of the weapons from this site could be used with little or no skill to remove extremities and inflict severe trauma with (relatively, edged weapons aren't lightsabers after all) little fear of performance-diminishing damage until the weapon has met or exceeded its expected performance-lifetime. No blade is going to be dealer's case new after severing 50+ long bones in human arms/legs, 50+ spinal columns severed, and the remainder of the use to which it is put.

Just commented that for a couple hundred bucks they aren't a bad choice for a melee weapon. Not a fan of blades in excess of 30 inches, as I belong to the school of thought that anything over 22-24 inches requires a level of proficiency one would be better served to develop an equal level of proficiency with the firearm(s) of one's choice.

Yea they're pricy, but I've always considered the marketing and sale of so-called "battle ready" blades that are certain/almost certain to become structurally compromised after 1-6 uses in earnest to be no different than any other case of voluntary manslaughter. Sellers who deal in equipment that is to be used in survival situations have (IMO) an obligation to sell only goods that will perform as advertised. Doing otherwise just to beef up the profit margin is immoral, plain and simple.

Regardless of where or from whom I purchase, just saying that I'm convinced that the practically designed blades advertised on that site would perform AS advertised for the most part.

Thorn
11-Jan-2012, 01:38 PM
Wyld you are too defensive man, Aces and I are just talking and kidding around it is all good. No need for a huge defensive post about it.

The stuff is cool 'nuff said.

paranoid101
11-Jan-2012, 03:27 PM
TBH my go to Zombie killing melee weapons would be Large Crowbar and a Ex military Entrenching tool.

Both Have other useful uses crowbar for opening doors windows etc and Entrenching tool a good one comes with saw edge and other uses.

Plus both can be bought cheaply and you don't look like as someone said before a Serial killer lol

Tricia Martin
12-Jan-2012, 11:02 AM
A friend of mine does a zombie survival podcast http://www.torresvszombies.com He is hilarious! But pretty serious about zombies. He had an entire cast dedicated to the 10 worst weapons to use in a zombie apocalypse. One of them was decorative martial arts weapons. He said even if you have a huge broadsword that wasn't just decorative that you'd better start training with it now....hahaa! They are so heavy- and the people who could utilize it with any efficiency have probably trained with weights and other weapons before being strong enough to lift the damn thing. They trained to train with it, basically. So someone just grabbing a huge sword off their wall would probably kill themselves before even getting to a zombie. Then he went on about how easy it is to wrack yourself in the nuts with nunchucks- so they're out too...hahaa! Oh and he hates the noisy weapons. Like chainsaws. Here is the link to that particular cast...he also interviews Kyra Schon in the same cast. http://www.torresvszombies.com/?p=134

Thorn
12-Jan-2012, 05:41 PM
TBH my go to Zombie killing melee weapons would be Large Crowbar and a Ex military Entrenching tool.

Both Have other useful uses crowbar for opening doors windows etc and Entrenching tool a good one comes with saw edge and other uses.

Plus both can be bought cheaply and you don't look like as someone said before a Serial killer lol


If you have never hefted an actual broadsword, you are in for a quick shock when you do. Using one for prolonged periods of time is tiring, and I would question it's selection as an actual zombie killing tool as your arm would grow very tired very quickly.

I agree completely, if you are not into weights, or doing exercises specifically designed to strengthen the needed muscles to use a blade of that nature effectively you are going to be zombie chow very quickly.

Funny thing is I have changed so much over the years as a young kid I was so anti firearms for a ZA situation, the noise, the limited ammo, the need to clean it constantly, and periods where it would be disassembled, misfires and so on. Nowadays I am of the opinion as stated numerous times you want to have a good mix of weapons, but I would like to be as far away as possible for as long as possible and any melee weapon should be one that requires minimal effort to use (such as pole arms) and they have their own list of negatives.

My new bottom line is there really is no perfect weapon, but your est weapon is a sound mind and body as they can keep you away from them and that really is your goal.

Sammich
13-Jan-2012, 01:31 AM
My ideal zombie killing weapon would be a 10 lb barbell weight tied to a rope and a 2 story building. Drop on zombie head, pull weight back up, repeat. Very quiet and minimal exertion required.