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Karsten Kluge
26-Jan-2012, 07:26 AM
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JDFP
27-Jan-2012, 01:32 AM
Could you post a summary of it for us here to see if you could gauge interest in us to know what we're getting into?

j.p.

Eyebiter
27-Jan-2012, 04:01 PM
Read the excerpt it's worth a read.

I'd add a mention of pain in the second paragraph though, older people ache when it rains. The other question was a whole week without having someone check up on them.

Are there nursing homes for zombies? Or zombie friendly cities? Any state or local ordinances that restrict the movement of the infected? What about restrictions on proximity to churches, graveyards, schools, government buildings, or other areas?

krakenslayer
27-Jan-2012, 05:33 PM
It's actually not a bad read. I'm browsing on my phone right now so didn't go through didn't read the whole thing but what I saw was fluid, fluent and readable.

The only thing I didn't like so much was having the character's talking-to-self responses laid out like the dialogue of two separate characters. I see what you are going for but for me as a reader it didn't feel right or intuitive and I had to scan back over lines a few times to gauge whether it was Voice A or Voice B speaking. Maybe try some different methods of separating out the two voices. How about direct quoted speech for Voice A and italics for Voice B? I dunno.

Also 69 pages is extremely short, even for a novella. And when you consider the text and spacing on the page is quite big, you're really only looking at 40-odd standard pages, which is short story length. Maybe, instead of treating it as a series of novellas, you should be presenting this as a series of short stories ultimately comprising chapters of an eventual full-length novel?

Karsten Kluge
31-Jan-2012, 05:39 AM
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