Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

[Neil]

Yes, our film making friends...

*die Asylum die*

over at The Asylum...

*die Asylum die*

who know no (lower) limits...

*die Asylum die*

have done it again...

http://www.theasylum.cc/product.php?id=202
http://www.theasylum.cc/images/posters/abrahamlincolnvszombies_large.jpg


This is obviously to cash in on Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter...

Surely we can send in the special forces to take these morons out!?

[EvilNed]

I would be distraught if it weren't for the fact that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter seems like a shitty film to begin with.

[Neil]

I would be distraught if it weren't for the fact that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter seems like a shitty film to begin with.

Maybe this will make you distraught enough then?

http://www.theasylum.cc/images/posters/americanbattleship_large.jpghttp://www.theasylum.cc/images/posters/grimmssnowwhite_large.jpghttp://www.theasylum.cc/images/posters/paranormal_large.jpghttp://www.theasylum.cc/images/posters/princessofmars_large.jpg

In conclusion... *die Asylum die* ******* waste of space hacks!

[Knighty]

Christ almighty I'd love to be an extra in these films they must keep people employed for most of the year with the amount they push out.

[EvilNed]

Maybe this will make you distraught enough then?


First off, the "Princess of Mars" film was released like two years ago, wasn't it? Whereas John Carter was released only a few months ago.

Second off, these are just a low budget, microcosm of Hollywood itself. So why even care? Hollywood is constantly ripping itself off.

[AcesandEights]

It's funny, though, as much as you my dislike them, Neil...I have a sort of odd respect for them from an entrepreneurial standpoint. I know I've mentioned it before, but I really enjoyed seeing an interview with one of the founders a year or three back.

You know, as of the last time I read up on them, they'd never lost money on a picture.

[Neil]

Second off, these are just a low budget, microcosm of Hollywood itself. So why even care? Hollywood is constantly ripping itself off.
What they are, are a waste of space! Can you imagine what those resources could actually achieve if they weren't being squandered on this sort of $hit?

[EvilNed]

What they are, are a waste of space! Can you imagine what those resources could actually achieve if they weren't being squandered on this sort of $hit?

I'd definetly agree with you, if it weren't for the fact that stuff like Green Lantern costs like 250 million dollars.

[Neil]

It's funny, though, as much as you my dislike them, Neil...I have a sort of odd respect for them from an entrepreneurial standpoint. I know I've mentioned it before, but I really enjoyed seeing an interview with one of the founders a year or three back.

You know, as of the last time I read up on them, they'd never lost money on a picture.
Have they made a single good film? And if they have, let me guess it was not one of their stupid rip off jobs!

-- -------- Post added at 03:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:58 PM ----------


I'd definetly agree with you, if it weren't for the fact that stuff like Green Lantern costs like 250 million dollars.
I don't care how much something costs. It's how watchable/enjoyable it is... I've not seen a single "The Asylum" production that I haven't rolled my eyes at.

[EvilNed]

I don't care how much something costs. It's how watchable/enjoyable it is... I've not seen a single "The Asylum" production that I haven't rolled my eyes at.

Huh?

You just said that you did? Or at least that you could think of better ways to spend the budget off Asylum productions? I did the same, but with higher budget stuff that's just as bad.

[Neil]

Huh?

You just said that you did? Or at least that you could think of better ways to spend the budget off Asylum productions? I did the same, but with higher budget stuff that's just as bad.

I thought the Green Lantern was OK. It obviously could have been better, but none-the-less it was well produced but let down by a slightly clunky story/script!? It certainly wasn't bad/dumb enough to try and make you shove a pencil 5 inches up your left nostril like The Asylum. :)

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTY0NTY4OTc1M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzQyNDYzMg@@._ V1._SY317_CR3,0,214,317_.jpg
IMDB 1.7

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTI3NzY1OTQ1N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjU0NDk2MQ@@._ V1._SY317_CR4,0,214,317_.jpg
IMDB 3.3

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BNDYwMTI1Mzc3MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTg3MTEwMg@@._ V1._SY317_CR6,0,214,317_.jpg
IMDB 2.9

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTM4OTg0NTc5OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzg3MTEwMg@@._ V1._SY317_CR6,0,214,317_.jpg
IMDB 1.8

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjUxMDYzNjYzNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzU3ODc4Mg@@._ V1._SY317_CR6,0,214,317_.jpg
IMDB 2.1



HACKS!

[EvilNed]

Maybe, maybe not. I personally thought it was shit. But as far as the money / quality movie ratio, I think Green Lantern loses hands down. If spending money on an Asylum film isn't justifyable, then neither is spending it on stuff like Green Lantern.

[Neil]

Maybe, maybe not. I personally thought it was shit. But as far as the money / quality movie ratio, I think Green Lantern loses hands down. If spending money on an Asylum film isn't justifyable, then neither is spending it on stuff like Green Lantern.

Fair enough. I know I'd happily watch the Green Lantern again. But I suspect I'd have trouble facing even just 10 minute of anything from The Asylum as it would nothing but utterly non-enjoyble lazy pap!

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTMyMTg3OTM5Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzczMjEyNQ@@._ V1._SY317_CR0,0,214,317_.jpg
IMDB 6.0

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjAyMjk0NTI3MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjM5OTM5Mg@@._ V1._SY317_CR25,0,214,317_.jpg
IMDB 1.7

[AcesandEights]

Have they made a single good film?
Completely subjective. I can say they make money, so they obviously fulfill a purpose for some clients. I've never watched more than 15 minutes of the two films of theirs I attempted to watch, but that doesn't mean I don't find what they do and its success fascinating.

Also, Ned is right...I couldn't sit through more than 15 minutes of Green Lantern either.

[LouCipherr]

You guys are all completely missing the point.

The real question here is, why Abraham Lincoln? I realize this is just cashing in on the other Abe movie, but why not George Washington? James Madison? Hell, why not "Bill Clinton & His Cigar vs. Fat Ugly Intern Zombies"??

I just don't understand the obsession of Abraham Lincoln. Screw that weird, tall, stove-pipe-hat-wearing bearded guy. What did he ever do for me?!

:lol: :D

[AcesandEights]

why not George Washington?

Pfft, everyone knows that George Washington was kleptocratic, power hungry, anthropophagic fiend.
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b205/DougOBrien/Washingtonians5.jpg

[Rumsfeld]

What about good ole Burr? From what I hear he has a good shot with the dueling pistol.

[AcesandEights]

What about good ole Burr? From what I hear he has a good shot with the dueling pistol.

Good point, and you just reminded me that Paul Revere (the silver smith!) was also a werewolf hunter:

http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/3/38687/957460-paulrevere_large.jpg

[Rumsfeld]

Where is that image from? I've never heard of this book before.

[AcesandEights]

The comic is called Revere, published by Alias, if I recall correctly:

http://comics.drivethrustuff.com/images/119/54754.jpg

Loved the art & premise, but the plotting/dialogue left something to be desired.

[LouCipherr]

Pfft, everyone knows that George Washington was kleptocratic, power hungry, anthropophagic fiend.


Which is exactly why he'd be perfect for this - better than Lincoln! :lol: :D

[Sammich]

Asylum gave life to the most influential entity of the 21st century: SHARKTOPUS.

His message of love, world peace and wanting to help animals and old people is crucial in these turbulent times.
Shame on you all.

[EvilNed]

Yeah. Say what you want about Asylum, I still had a better time with Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus than Green Lantern, Fantastic Four, King Arthur or countless other shitty hollywood flicks. I often prefer alternate cinema to regular stuff they put out. Wether it be Troma, Asylum or whatever.

[Neil]

Yeah. Say what you want about Asylum, I still had a better time with Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

And that was at least an 'original title' from them. What about their other 100 'con you into renting it' titles?

[EvilNed]

I saw "I Am Omega". It was alright for what it was. Zombies were better than I Am Legend, actually.

[Christopher Jon]

Surely we can send in the special forces to take these morons out!?

Every asylum film has made a profit.

Hacks, certainly. Morons, not at all.

[Sammich]

I don't view Asylum as ripping off other movies, but satirizing and mocking the horrible crap that hollywood keeps pumping out.

[Neil]

I don't view Asylum as ripping off other movies, but satirizing and mocking the horrible crap that hollywood keeps pumping out.
Talk about rose-tinted glasses?

I really cannot see any justification for the copy-cat drivel they churn out. It's cynical, lazy and weak.

-- -------- Post added at 12:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:29 PM ----------


I saw "I Am Omega". It was alright for what it was. Zombies were better than I Am Legend, actually.

My review of "I Am Omega":-
The production values on this title, given the obvious low budget, were surprisingly good. But what lets this film down is the completely run-of-the-mill paint-by-numbers script. The individuals behind it had all the tools they needed to make a somewhat interesting film, but just didn't bother with an imaginative/solid story.

Worse still, the outcome is actually generally dull as well as unimaginative... So what we end up with is not a mediocre, poorly written film, but a boring and dull, mediocre, poorly written film.

It's frustrating to think that a chance was lost here to make a watchable film because of the lack of some decent forethought at the scripting stage. One has to wonder if the producers were too busy calculating projected cash-in revenue (in making a film on the coat-tail of 'I Am Legend') instead of actually thinking what it should be about.

Here's a comment I made about them a few years back:-

Any success is basically akin to prostitution... They aim at a safe common denominator and basically leach off someone elses talent. Give their films titles different to the originals and see how well they do... They'd just disappear into the crapper even quicker than they currently do.

Again, their production quality is impressive, so that's my real problem. They just cop out and make no real effort at a decent film. In effect, knowing theres plenty of people who will be willing to pay, they just bend over and willingly just take one up the rear...

[Sammich]

Have you not seen the pure garbage that has been coming out of hollywood lately? It is all huge budget remakes, sequels or "re-invisionings" that use excessive special effects to make up for a lack of storyline and character development. Your description of "cynical, lazy and weak." more aptly fits the "mainstream" movie industry that has driven original creativity out of town.

Just look at the top 5 movies this week:

1. The Hunger Games - re-invisioning of Battle Royale with an over-hyped Asch paradigm exploiting marketing campaign
2. American Reunion - sequel
3. Titanic - re-release
4. Wrath of the Titans - sequel of a remake
5. Mirror Mirror - remake of Snow White

All movies that I have absolutely no desire to pay for to see in the theaters.

[Neil]

Have you not seen the pure garbage that has been coming out of hollywood lately? It is all huge budget remakes, sequels or "re-invisionings" that use excessive special effects to make up for a lack of storyline and character development. Your description of "cynical, lazy and weak." more aptly fits the "mainstream" movie industry that has driven original creativity out of town.

Just look at the top 5 movies this week:

1. The Hunger Games - re-invisioning of Battle Royale with an over-hyped Asch paradigm exploiting marketing campaign
2. American Reunion - sequel
3. Titanic - re-release
4. Wrath of the Titans - sequel of a remake
5. Mirror Mirror - remake of Snow White

All movies that I have absolutely no desire to pay for to see in the theaters.

1) These silly comparisons between The Hunger Games and Battle Royale... Have you read the book/seen it?
2) Is that the american pie sequel? It does look bad!
3) So your point is, it's a bad film because it was so enjoyable, people still want to see it?
4) So you're using a film with an original storyline (that's getting better reviews than its predecessor) in defense for the kings of needless cyncial copying, The Asylum? Confused?
5) It's a reimagining of a film from 70+ years ago isn't it? Don't think the reviews are very +ve though.

Anyway, not sure what your your point is here? It's interesting that you can go down those 5 films, and more than likely The Asylum have released a 'clone' of theirs to cash in on the them. How f***ing lazy can you get. You see a product on the horizon that you know will be superior to anything your could produce - because you're just a bunch of hacks - so instead you knock off a script that just about does the job and quickly throw out your version being as close as you can in story and even posts/cover art, without risking infringing on copyright, and then hope you con enough people into watching it, solely on the interest raised by the original superior product.

You used the word creativity, and I'm more than happy to suggest it's certainly still there in Hollywood, but long since forgotten (if indeed they even ever aspired to it) at the hackville Asylum!

[Rumsfeld]

Woah... who ever said Wrath of the Titans was a good movie to begin with?

[Neil]

Woah... who ever said Wrath of the Titans was a good movie to begin with?
Wrath seems to be getting fairly OK reviews from what I've seen? And generally they seem to suggest it's at least better than its predecessor?!

[EvilNed]

I don't know what you want me to say, Neil? I liked I Am Omega better or equal to I Am Legend. That was an Asylum pictures. I've seen shit and crap from both sides of the fence. Asylum is bad yeah, but occasionally that's what I crave. I'm glad they're around to offer diversity from shit like Green Lantern or Clash of the Titans or Thor.

I agree with you on the Hunger Games / Battle Royale similarities. I've seen both films are they're very different (Not read either book). The story isn't even that similar, only the actual idea of teenagers killing each other is. But Battle Royale is from like... 1996? And now it's 16 years later? Get over it, people with way more likeness' get released in shorter timespans than that. Also, Battle Royale is pretty shit whereas Hunger Games was surprisingly good.

[Neil]

I don't know what you want me to say, Neil? I liked I Am Omega better or equal to I Am Legend. That was an Asylum pictures. I've seen shit and crap from both sides of the fence. Asylum is bad yeah, but occasionally that's what I crave. I'm glad they're around to offer diversity from shit like Green Lantern or Clash of the Titans or Thor.

I agree with you on the Hunger Games / Battle Royale similarities. I've seen both films are they're very different (Not read either book). The story isn't even that similar, only the actual idea of teenagers killing each other is. But Battle Royale is from like... 1996? And now it's 16 years later? Get over it, people with way more likeness' get released in shorter timespans than that. Also, Battle Royale is pretty shit whereas Hunger Games was surprisingly good.

I think I Am Omega is probably Asylum's most popular film, reaching the dizzy heights of about 3/10 in IMDB. I seem recalling enjoying the start, and soon realising as it progressed, it was writing of a pretty poor order, and had to force myself to reach the end. I seem to recall two truly absolutely daft elements to the script and couldn't fathom how they reached the filming process other than they didn't really care!? I saw it long before I knew the kack fast that is "The Asylum" and watched it due to the "I Am Legend" and "Omega Man" flavour of the title and plot. Their ploy basically worked, just like it no doubt does with so many of their other titles on so many other poor souls!

While I Am Legend had some very frustrating elements to it, and could have been truly great if it had been "less Hollywood," but there are a couple of elements/sections that work reasonably well IMHO. So I can watch parts of it again, but I'd find the whole thing too hard going I think.


EDIT: Just found a post of mine regarding "I Am Omega":-


So our hero is busy planting explosives on the gas pipes to blow up the nearby city - We never know why, maybe to kill the infected? And also we never quite know how a few sticks of dynamite can nuke a whole city several miles away... Let's hope Al-Qaeda don't learn this trick!


Anyway, he receives a transmission from a woman trapped in the city but says he won't help her.

With less than 24hrs left till the city blows up a pair of soldiers turn up and convince our hero to go into the city with them to rescue the woman before the city blows up. Why? Because she holds the secret to a cure for the virus... What are the chances of that!

Anyway, one of the two soldiers die on the way in, and the other stays with the body. Our hero manages to find the women and in escaping, just in the nick of time, the remaining soldier turns up to save them both from the creatures...

And now the uber scripting kicks in... The soldier shoots our hero (a number of times), informs us that infact the ONLY reason they wanted to rescue her was - ready for this... sit down now! - to kill her. They like the way the world is now, and don't want things fixed.

So, the woman was trapped in the city, the city was going to blow up in a few hours... No one was going to rescue/save her, so they convince someone to go into to rescue her, risk their lives as well going it to save her, all just to kill her...

Dear God!

[Rumsfeld]

I will say Wrath was much better than the Clash. However, I felt like the plot was weak and the acting bad as asual. I will not say anything else because if I do I will ruin the plot for those who have not seen it.

[Christopher Jon]

I agree with you on the Hunger Games / Battle Royale similarities.
Theseus. End of story.

People who claim The Hunger Games copied Battle Royale are basement dwelling idiots.