A man walks into a bar with a frog on his head

[Venomous]

The bartender looks up and asks, "what will it be?"
So the man with the frog on his head asks, "aren't you going to ask me why there's a frog on my head?"
The bartender replies, "because it's only a song?" :lol:

[fartpants]

w.t.f

[zombiegirl]

I'm not ususally slow but I don't get it. :rockbrow:

[Eyebiter]

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll hang out with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.

A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll be your girlfriend for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.

A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll be your girlfriend for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on.

Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised lots of fun with a beautiful princess for a whole year and you won't even kiss a frog?"

"I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for girls.... But a talking frog is pretty neat."

[Adrenochrome]

I'm not ususally slow but I don't get it. :rockbrow:
I don't get it either.:confused:

[Cody]

what do you call 350 used condoms?

a goodyear.

[MinionZombie]

I don't get it either. :confused:

Because there's actually f*ck all to get, and it's getting rather lame...:rockbrow:

[Der_Deutsche]

thank god ... I don't get it either, and I thought it's only my lack of (american) humor

[MinionZombie]

lol, usually it's a case of the Yanks not getting Brit humour ... I will always remember this - for the film "Chicken Run" cinema goers were supplied with a glossary so they knew what all the "hey up" dialogue was about, ha!

Two countries separated by a common language ... and "colour" has a "U" in it, damn youse!

[Der_Deutsche]

Is he british? But I still don't get it, even if I would stand in a harbour, watching the colour of the sky, talking about british humour ... hehe :)

One Day I'm going to post a german joke here (of course IN GERMAN - but maybe with subtitles, I know you guys don't like dubbing) and guess who'll laugh then :D

[DjfunkmasterG]

Color has no "U" and Authorize is spelled with a "Z" not an "S" :D

[Eyebiter]

A frog went to a fortune teller. The fortune teller looked into her crystal ball and said, "You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you."
The frog said, "That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," said the psychic, "Next semester in her biology class."

[LoSTBoY]

That joke deserves a negative rep point it hurt so much. :dead:

Almost as painful as The Office. :moon:

[EvilNed]

Two friends were having a really dull time, so they figured they would start shoving things up each others asses and see if they could guess what it was. One of them was blindfolded, and leaned forward. Pretty soon he could feel something small being squeezed into his ass.

"Ouch!" he cried out "What the hell is that? Must be an egg or something."

"Yepp, you guessed it." the other friend said, and pulled the egg out. Next up was a fairly bigger object.

"Aaaagghh... Aaah!" the tortured friend said. "Is that an orange or what the hell?"

"Again, you guessed it!" the other friend said, smiling, and pulled out the fruit. "Now it's time for something even bigger."

The friend stood there, wondering what would be shoved up his ass next, when he suddenly felt this humungus, extreme object being shoved up his ass. It was huge!

"Holy crap, holy crap! The hell are you doing? Shoving a watermelon up my ass?"

The other friend gave a muffled response.

[Adrenochrome]

Two friends were having a really dull time, so they figured they would start shoving things up each others asses and see if they could guess what it was. One of them was blindfolded, and leaned forward. Pretty soon he could feel something small being squeezed into his ass.

"Ouch!" he cried out "What the hell is that? Must be an egg or something."

"Yepp, you guessed it." the other friend said, and pulled the egg out. Next up was a fairly bigger object.

"Aaaagghh... Aaah!" the tortured friend said. "Is that an orange or what the hell?"

"Again, you guessed it!" the other friend said, smiling, and pulled out the fruit. "Now it's time for something even bigger."

The friend stood there, wondering what would be shoved up his ass next, when he suddenly felt this humungus, extreme object being shoved up his ass. It was huge!

"Holy crap, holy crap! The hell are you doing? Shoving a watermelon up my ass?"

The other friend gave a muffled response.
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[MinionZombie]

A frog went to a psychic who could look into history for the ultimate answers, the frog asked her who invented the English language and she said - why the English of course, it's not called American is it? You daft bastard frog :p

Of course, it's hardly surprising from the nation who invented "Drive Thru". *sigh*

[deadwrtr]

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop....

:skull: