The Pearly gates

[DjfunkmasterG]

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done
anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.

"Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang
of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground." I
yelled, "Now, back off biker boy or you'll answer to me!"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago."

[coma]

Good one!:lol:

[mista_mo]

7 on a hilarity scale of 10!!

[zombiegirl]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Good One

[AcesandEights]

That was cute, will definitely try and remember it for when I'm with drunk people :)

[MaximusIncredulous]

:lol:

[DjfunkmasterG]

Glad you guys liked that. It is pretty funny!


BTW Shaun of the Dead was on HBO tonight. :D

[Debbieangel]

I just read it to my hubby he just smiled...he loves those kind of jokes!
Here are some of his fav sites for jokes consumptionjunction.com;baumsworld.com...this is just a few he likes. I just thought you all might enjoy reading some jokes. ENJOY!

[DjfunkmasterG]

I am happy he got a kick out of it. :D

I love all kinds of jokes, even the cheesy kid jokes.

[Eyebiter]

Seems a rural area happened to have a prosperous chemical company out in the boondocks. Unfortunately, the plant caught fire. Fire trucks from several of the surrounding towns arrived, but all the firemen thought it was beyond control. The manager of the company was almost beside himself. He finally said, "I will give $100,000 to any fire department that gets into the building and saves the safe which has all our proprietary information and is literally the future of this business here." No takers. It really looked dangerous.

The manager raised his offer to $200,000. Still no response from the very models of modern admirals of the modern fire truck fleets. Lots of handwringing going on. Jobs going into the toilet. About the time everything looked completey hopeless, the old fire truck that was run by Norwegian retirees mainly to protect their old wooden village Lutheran Church came speeding up to the fire, old bells ringing. The old firemen and their old truck never stopped. They drove right into that inferno. Jumped out of the truck and got the blaze around the safe extinguished.

The manager was nearly ecstatic he told the old firemen they had just done a job that would put $200,000 into their fire department. By now the TV news crews were on the scene. One of the too blond reporterettes stuck a microphone into old Ole Rolvognildson's red face and breathlessly asked, "Ole, What will you and your brave firemen do with the $200,000 reward.?"

Ole was speechless and looked stunned for a few seconds, then said, "First ting ve vill do is fix da brakes on that damned old truck."

[Debbieangel]

I am happy he got a kick out of it. :D

I love all kinds of jokes, even the cheesy kid jokes.

I'll ask him about some more joke sites ...some of the ones he sends me in emails are soo stupid their funny...but, that is my hubby...BTW I loved the joke too.


Seems a rural area happened to have a prosperous chemical company out in the boondocks. Unfortunately, the plant caught fire. Fire trucks from several of the surrounding towns arrived, but all the firemen thought it was beyond control. The manager of the company was almost beside himself. He finally said, "I will give $100,000 to any fire department that gets into the building and saves the safe which has all our proprietary information and is literally the future of this business here." No takers. It really looked dangerous.

The manager raised his offer to $200,000. Still no response from the very models of modern admirals of the modern fire truck fleets. Lots of handwringing going on. Jobs going into the toilet. About the time everything looked completey hopeless, the old fire truck that was run by Norwegian retirees mainly to protect their old wooden village Lutheran Church came speeding up to the fire, old bells ringing. The old firemen and their old truck never stopped. They drove right into that inferno. Jumped out of the truck and got the blaze around the safe extinguished.

The manager was nearly ecstatic he told the old firemen they had just done a job that would put $200,000 into their fire department. By now the TV news crews were on the scene. One of the too blond reporterettes stuck a microphone into old Ole Rolvognildson's red face and breathlessly asked, "Ole, What will you and your brave firemen do with the $200,000 reward.?"

Ole was speechless and looked stunned for a few seconds, then said, "First ting ve vill do is fix da brakes on that damned old truck."

ROFLMAO. too funny!! I am choking on my piece of candy lolll

[HLS]

:lol: :p :lol:

[dogma789]

del...

[bassman]

Did you hear David Copperfield has AIDS?
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He was doin' Magic at a Laker's game!

:lol:

By the way....I like the "Memento" picture, Dogma. Great film.