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View Full Version : Men cross your legs! "Chop" talk!



Neil
01-May-2013, 09:12 AM
OK, I'm signed up for "the chop" in a couple of weeks... Anyone else there been through this procedure? Anyone else considering it?

Legion2213
01-May-2013, 10:25 AM
Christ no. Anybody menacing my bollocks with a sharp implement would be warded off with extreme prejudice! :D

AcesandEights
01-May-2013, 01:25 PM
OK, I'm signed up for "the chop" in a couple of weeks... Anyone else there been through this procedure? Anyone else considering it?

I applaud your responsibility, Neil.

The wife and I haven't even tried for our first yet, so no chopping quite yet for me.

Neil
01-May-2013, 01:54 PM
^^ Have to admit I'm really not looking forward to it :(

Only silver lining is the plumbing has to be tested 2 or more times a week for 16 weeks! What the hell, I may tell my other half it's daily!

Trin
01-May-2013, 04:45 PM
Have you picked out a girl name yet. Maybe Nell.

Mr. Clean
01-May-2013, 05:04 PM
not a chance...the wife had 2 c-sections....doctor tied her tubes while she was in there removing the second child.

AcesandEights
01-May-2013, 06:05 PM
Have you picked out a girl name yet. Maybe Nell.

:lol:

Neil
01-May-2013, 06:33 PM
^^ Oi! Don't encourage him!

Rancid Carcass
01-May-2013, 07:06 PM
^^ Oi! Don't encourage him!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCkxYhyycnk&feature=player_detailpage

:p

Neil
16-May-2013, 10:58 AM
Today's the day... Wish me luck! :stunned:

AcesandEights
16-May-2013, 01:42 PM
Today's the day... Wish me luck! :stunned:

wv-S3uoeTXg

LouCipherr
16-May-2013, 03:25 PM
http://theiphonestop.com/wp-content/gallery/abstract-and-colors/bloddy-scissors.jpg
:lol:

Good luck, Neil! May the soreness NOT be with you (at least for very long). ;)

Neil
17-May-2013, 08:30 AM
Look here you squeamish cowards! All I can is I've got more balls than you lot... At least for a few more hours anyway!

- - - Updated - - -

Owwww!

LouCipherr
17-May-2013, 01:34 PM
Look here you squeamish cowards! All I can is I've got more balls than you lot... At least for a few more hours anyway!

- - - Updated - - -

Owwww!

:lol:

I hope you've got some ice packs for that! :D

AcesandEights
17-May-2013, 01:40 PM
Owwww!

Damn, I was hoping you'd come back and say it was nothing and you'd barely felt a thing.

Note to self!

Neil
17-May-2013, 01:43 PM
In truth, it wasn't bad at all! Mild discomfort during op. And very mild discomfort since. Just walking slowly and carefully!

Certainly far less pain than I was expecting! Just a very unusual (if somewhat unpleasant) sensation for 10mins during.

Was having a chat & joke with doctor and nurse juring procedure etc. So no where near as bad as I was expecting!


In China where the procedure was developed, they used to have it without anesthetic!

LouCipherr
17-May-2013, 06:32 PM
In China where the procedure was developed, they used to have it without anesthetic!

:stunned:

F that! :lol: No way you're putting a knife near my... ummm... 'unit' without either A) numbing it first, or B) knocking my ass out for the count for the entire procedure.

Good to hear it wasn't as bad as expected Neil. Here's to a quick recovery from the mild discomfort.

MinionZombie
18-May-2013, 04:40 PM
I can't imagine being awake while someone's taking a scalpel to your business ... I'd much prefer to be under, like I was when I got a hernia op ... although, and not to go all Quint on ya, a hernia op is a more bruising (literally) ordeal on your man lab, your fun zone, your business park, your wedding vegetables, your meat and two veg, your ... well, you get the picture. I wouldn't wish it on anyone - it sucks, and not in a fun way. :D

I can sympathise with the sense of discomfort and having to walk ever-so-gingerly ... I imagine the pain of a vesectomy is mercifully less than that of a hernia (but certainly far more than you'd prefer! :) ), but on the other hand I was blissfully knocked out for my hernia op, whereas the idea of being awake during a fun zone medical procedure is like nails on a chalkboard to me. :dead: *shudders*

Or maybe the idea of it is worse than the actuality - what say you, Neil?

Apparently it's a good idea to wear tight briefs afterwards - according to some documentary I saw on Channel 4 t'other night, called "Skint" or something like that, where some bloke got one after deciding that seven kids was enough :lol: and he was talking about it - less movement means less bruising and swelling apparently.

Not sure if that pertains to hernias or not. No bugger ever told me to do that after the hernia op, so it was just an awfully firm agony to begin with, giving way to an interminably long - weeks long - ache.

Get well soon - and have fun making sure the barrels are emptied for good. :lol:;):lol:

Neil
18-May-2013, 04:52 PM
I can't imagine being awake while someone's taking a scalpel to your business ...
No scalpel these days! It's called the no-scalpel vasectomy for a reason :)

MinionZombie
18-May-2013, 05:33 PM
No scalpel these days! It's called the no-scalpel vasectomy for a reason :)

So what do they do ... nag and yell at your nuts until they stop working? :D

Neil
18-May-2013, 07:21 PM
:) No, an anesthetic injection, then a tiny incision and they hook out the plumbing, cut it, seal it, and push it back in. No stiches even required.

They even showed me the cut out plumbing afterwards...

AcesandEights
19-May-2013, 11:41 PM
:) No, an anesthetic injection, then a tiny incision and they hook out the plumbing, cut it, seal it, and push it back in. No stiches even required.

They even showed me the cut out plumbing afterwards...

Dear...god...

And you have to pay them for this!?

Neil
20-May-2013, 10:33 AM
Dear...god...

And you have to pay them for this!?

Nope... It's free!

Kaos
20-May-2013, 12:55 PM
Nope... It's free!

Yeah, I think the world chipped in so that Neil would stop procreating. :elol:

AcesandEights
20-May-2013, 03:54 PM
Yeah, I think the world chipped in so that Neil would stop procreating. :elol:

:lol: Kaos, how long've you been hiding in the bushes outside of this thread waiting to drop that one on us? :lol:

MinionZombie
20-May-2013, 04:47 PM
Yeah, I think the world chipped in so that Neil would stop procreating. :elol:


:lol: Kaos, how long've you been hiding in the bushes outside of this thread waiting to drop that one on us? :lol:

:lol::lol::lol: At the both of you crazy bastards. :D

Neil
20-May-2013, 06:01 PM
Yeah, I think the world chipped in so that Neil would stop procreating. :elol:

Well, it's the only way the rest of will get a chance I guess! ;)

LouCipherr
23-May-2013, 01:49 PM
So it's been a few days Neil, how ya feelin' now?

Hopefully nowhere near as sore as a few days ago. :D

Neil
23-May-2013, 02:49 PM
Well, the pain was never as bad as I thought it might be, but it is dragging on. On Sunday morning there was a window of 'almost OK', but I think I pulled something during the day, and for the past 3-4 days there's been an obvious annoying discomfort, which is only just about passing today.

So in summary... almost a week on... almost back to normal...

LouCipherr
23-May-2013, 04:52 PM
Well, that's good to hear. Almost a week on, seems like you're doing pretty good. :)

Now, onto the 'testing' with the better half to make sure all is working properly! :elol:

Neil
23-May-2013, 05:13 PM
Now, onto the 'testing' with the better half to make sure all is working properly! :elol:
Recommendation is twice a week for 16 weeks! :o

LouCipherr
23-May-2013, 06:50 PM
Recommendation is twice a week for 16 weeks! :o

I think you heard the doctor wrong. I think he said 24 weeks, just to be REALLY sure.

:D

AcesandEights
23-May-2013, 07:01 PM
Recommendation is twice a week for 16 weeks! :o


Nah, that's 16 times a week for 2 months.

Let us know how that works out for you.

BryanWay
23-May-2013, 09:08 PM
There's a truly terrible gif I'd post here if I weren't afraid of being immediately and permanently banned. And the conversation topic made me think of a short story I recently submitted to HPOTD... :elol:

MissJacksonCA
07-Jul-2013, 06:57 PM
Wow... that's love Neil. If its any consolation... you're better off losing some swimmers than the guy who had 150lb testicles removed... he had to wear a sweatshirt just to cover up his junk
/yF6hRPE0S1w

Kaos
07-Jul-2013, 08:07 PM
I am kinda of glad the formatting didn't work for your video.:barf:

AcesandEights
07-Jul-2013, 08:09 PM
I am kinda of glad the formatting didn't work for your video.:barf:

Ditto! :dead:

MinionZombie
08-Jul-2013, 08:54 AM
Oh yeah, I watched some of that documentary on channel 4 last week - absolutely mental - luckily for the chap he didn't lose his actual testicles, it was a vast growth/swelling that had developed ... but I wasn't really sure of how/why it happened. Anyway, at one point they uncovered his testicles during the operation and clinked them together as if toasting with champagne glasses. :shifty::lol::rockbrow:

Neil
08-Jul-2013, 11:03 AM
^^ Did that story end happily? ie: Did he basically get back to something like normal?

MinionZombie
08-Jul-2013, 12:03 PM
^^ Did that story end happily? ie: Did he basically get back to something like normal?

Yeah, it was a happy ending for the guy - they got his gear back into proper order, he was able to get out and about again and do things with friends, and they showed him finally being able to buy trousers again, rather than wearing hoodies upside down.

Neil
08-Jul-2013, 12:18 PM
^^ Good stuff! :)

clanglee
08-Jul-2013, 02:33 PM
Yeah, it was a happy ending for the guy - they got his gear back into proper order, he was able to get out and about again and do things with friends, and they showed him finally being able to buy trousers again, rather than wearing hoodies upside down.

It makes me laugh and laugh that You put that in spoiler Tags!

MinionZombie
08-Jul-2013, 05:53 PM
It makes me laugh and laugh that You put that in spoiler Tags!

:lol::lol::lol:

Well you never know, someone might have been saving it for a rainy day on their Sky+ ... :D