I hate depression....

[mista_mo]

sorry, but I feel like putting this on here...today sucks, as did yesterday, and the day beforehand...I wish I didn't have this...I feel like such a burden to friends and family when I get like this. I become anti social and can be mean spirited...one thing that worries me, my girlfriend is coming back from working at a kids camp tommorrow or saturday, and I don't want her to see me like this on her first day back...sorry it's just...I dunno

[AssassinFromHell]

You are no burden, you're the mo. Come on, anybody lucky enough to have a guy like you as part of their family is freakin' lucky. Why would your girlfriend be with you if you're a burden to everybody? She must see something in you. Something good. Something awesome. Something that knocks her socks off.

Depression is a horrible thing. I had a battle with it, but recovered. And I can tell you from experience, that it will manipulate your mindset. What you have to do is go to the border, taunt border patrol for a while, then go get some ice cream. All will be better :p

Seriously, I hope things get alot better for you. You're an awesome dude. I hate to see you like this. You'll pull through, Chris.

[Debbie]

Hey Mo don't be sorry we all go through this.. your just reaching out and that is good. Try and think of your girl coming back. I bet she can't wait to see you . I bet once you see her smiling face come through your door you will snap right out of it, sometimes it just takes alittle love. So picture it in your mind and let the healing begin. Hang in there Debbie

[coma]

When she comes up all happy to see you, and you hug and smell her hair and feel her neck against your cheek, you will feel awesome. Nothing cures the blues like a lovely lady who digs you.

When I feel depressed, and I got damn good reason too, I just let it burn. So good for you being able to let it out. Anytime I ever posted (rare indeed) about my woes,non one was even nice enough to give me a token response. Yeah, I'm a sad sack, and dammit, I want some sympathy.:skull: I should make a post about my junk and it'll curl your hair.
If your biggest probelm is lonliness, and it's a big one, it can be cured by companionship.
So your almost there.
And she probably won't see you like that, because you'll be psyched dude, when she comes up on you.
Feel better bro.

[Arcades057]

Step 1) Buy some condoms.

Step 2) Take them to a tall building.

Step 3) Fill the condoms with water.

Step 4) Throw them at old people.


That'll cure your depression. :D

[MapMan]

EVERYBODY goes through this at some point. You are not alone. We all have low points. Things will get better. COMA is dead on, your girl will be here soon. You will feel better. Grab a blanket, go outside and just look at the stars with her. Her head on your chest.


Damn now I am lonley

[Adrenochrome]

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

-Buddha

[coma]

COMA is dead on, your girl will be here soon. You will feel better.
Damn now I am lonley
Maybe, but Arcades is a lot funnier.
maybe YOU should do the water balloons.

My bud lived on west28th street and 11th ave. Used to be all these male hustlers (prostitues not Jay-Z) on the street with limos pullin up to do bizness.etc.
So we threw condom water bombs at them. We threw a couple of pee bomb, but I started getting nervous.
And that was like 15 yeats ago so no morality lecture, thank you very much

[Adrenochrome]

Maybe, but Arcades is a lot funnier.
maybe YOU should do the water balloons.


Oh, NEVER follow the advice of a kid that has 3 felonies , a drug charge, a weapons charge, and an assault charge (also 2 more felonious assaults as a minor).....that would be rediculous!!!!

[MapMan]

Coma I was agreeing with you. I am not seeing anyone right now and it would make me feel better to have someone that I care about coming home to spend some quality time with. I wasn't trying to be funny. Mo has that to look forward to.

[Adrenochrome]

sorry, but I feel like putting this on here...today sucks, as did yesterday, and the day beforehand...I wish I didn't have this...I feel like such a burden to friends and family when I get like this. I become anti social and can be mean spirited...one thing that worries me, my girlfriend is coming back from working at a kids camp tommorrow or saturday, and I don't want her to see me like this on her first day back...sorry it's just...I dunno
There is one positive thing about depression.....It Passes.
Trust me on this.....I may come off as a dweeb or an asshole at times, but, ONE thing I DO know......depression passes and eventually you wont remember what got you down in the first place.

[zombiegirl]

I'm sorry you feel down. I been through depression too and yes it sucks bad. Talking is the first step. You do have your girl to look forward too and that will help.
You have to be willing to stand up against how bad you feel and make yourself leave the house for a while and get some human contact, get some fresh air, and try not to dwell on things that can not be changed. Think about the positive things going for you even if they are small and few between. Sometimes just forcing yourself to do this will help you get a fresh perspective. The past is past and it is over. What you need to do is concentrate on how you can make your future better. Kind of sappy advice I know but it works for me most of the time.

[coma]

Coma I was agreeing with you. I am not seeing anyone right now and it would make me feel better to have someone that I care about coming home to spend some quality time with. I wasn't trying to be funny. Mo has that to look forward to.

I Know. I was trying to make you laugh, or something close so you might feel better, for a least a second. My useual weapon against bummers is to bust out with something nice and gross, to totally distract.
So, in summary, I was kidding.


When I said I have some problems that'll curl your hair, here it is, cause dammit I'm Bummed. Bug time. And I goota talk to somebody and I need a friggin Pep talk.
As i write this, I have an eye filled with blood, cause I had 3 injections in it yestersday because I am going blind. They put a speculum ala Clockwork orange in my eye socket to hold it open and shot steroids in it in 3 places. It hurts like hell and feels likw it's full of sand and tears constantly. I have no medical insurance and about 30 g's of med bills in debt. I'm broke and the govt is srewing me in the pooper. I can't buy many medicines.I use firefox and have an extension that makes the type bigger. I hit it 3,4 times. Thats pretty big. I can't see the keyboard too weell, so I make a lot of typos. If I turn the light up to see better I get bliding headaches because I am superlight sensitive. So I sit in the dark, in my crap neighborhood, latin garbage pop blasting through the walls. Will I ever have enough $$$ to move, or am I trapped forever? Will I ever get a decent job because when people find out your eyes are bad you get FIRED. you lterally getb treated like your retarded.The disease is very rare, maybe 20,000 in US so it gets almost no study. And never will. Everytiome I go to the clinic , which is very often, I have to go see the pencil pushers who insult me and make me feel like crap because "Now I know how poor people get treated", because If I'm white I couldn't possibly know hardship. So I proclaim, I am not a bum or a junkie, and even if I was , who gives a crap?!?! People push me around on the bus, hit me with shopping carts and ye;; "watch were your going", but I CAN"T.
Dudes and dudettes. MY LIFE SUCKS and it's probably going to get worse. And that aint all of my med problems. Crushed Archilles tendon at work so screwed big time by workamns comp so I can;t even do labor. And Balance disorder of dubious origin, so I am seasick 24 hours a day.

So If I can post a tons of cheerful goofy posts in this grim and dire predicament, it can't be that bad. But I am lucky to have a super duper awesome girlfriend. Sh met me I was in good shape. Now I'm getting all soft from this junk adn I told her I am the evil twin, like Spock with the beard. She never watched Star Trek, so she didn't get it. But she lets me read comics without that condescending look your GF can give you. So, in that regard, I'm real lucky. She always says "THAt movie, AGAIN?!?' . Y'know. DOTD, that I play endlessly like some obsessive psycho.

[MapMan]

You'll be all right COMA. I know about living somewhere that you can't stand. I really don't like it here. I have hope. I have a goal. It is going to take time and I have wait that time out. So while my life isn't going according to plans, I do the best I can do. If you get fired again due to your sight, get them to state why on paper and then sue their ass, Americans with disabilities act.

Since you were trying to be funny: The male-hustler was really your dad:D

[Philly_SWAT]

Maybe you should consider changing your screen name to mista_larry, or even mista_curly. Might cheer you up. :)

[thxleo]

sorry, but I feel like putting this on here...today sucks, as did yesterday, and the day beforehand...I wish I didn't have this...I feel like such a burden to friends and family when I get like this. I become anti social and can be mean spirited...one thing that worries me, my girlfriend is coming back from working at a kids camp tommorrow or saturday, and I don't want her to see me like this on her first day back...sorry it's just...I dunno

Want some good advice? Shut up and stop whining. Do you have terminal cancer? Are you paralyzed? If not, then put a sock in it already. Just reading your post made me wanna puke. There are people in the world with real problems that have real reasons to feel sorry for themselves.
Like Denis Leary said, life sucks get a helmet.

[coma]

You'll be all right COMA. I know about living somewhere that you can't stand. I really don't like it here. I have hope. I have a goal. It is going to take time and I have wait that time out. So while my life isn't going according to plans, I do the best I can do. If you get fired again due to your sight, get them to state why on paper and then sue their ass, Americans with disabilities act.

Since you were trying to be funny: The male-hustler was really your dad:D

Thanks alot. I have hope. But it's tough. And being lonely sucks. I've been there too much. In a room full of friends and feel totally disconnected. It sounds petty, but when you feel that way it's very painful.
When I get fired cause of that vision crapola, it's always a made up reason. Like, for example, they yell at me 3,4 times for talking when I'm not. Then I'm sacked.
Thy're more worried about getting sued by me getting hurt (whic doesn't happen), than by discrimination.
Johm Lennon said "life is something that happens while your busy making other plans"
Ain't that the truth.

And My Dad is a hustler. How'd you know? How will I endure the shame?
His name is Peaches McFatso.
He's also a right wing gun nut. Whatta combo.

[MapMan]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[AssassinFromHell]

Want some good advice? Shut up and stop whining. Do you have terminal cancer? Are you paralyzed? If not, then put a sock in it already. Just reading your post made me wanna puke. There are people in the world with real problems that have real reasons to feel sorry for themselves.
Like Denis Leary said, life sucks get a helmet.

Yeah, depression is also known to lead to suicide. I'm sure your post doesn't help a whole lot of this situation. You're one helluva person to come out like this. The fact somebody is feeling low and needed some encouragement made you wanna puke? You're the one with problems. If all you have to share is your senseless degration, then leave him alone. He's already down. Listening to your crap isn't going to help a damn thing.

[mista_mo]

thxleo...you obviusly don't know s*it about depression. I was in the hospital back in December for depression and attempted suicide, don't you go tell me that what I have isn't a f*cking real problem. And just so you know...i've had alot to deal with in my life, and one thing that sticks out happened when I was a kid. My mom nearly died. I saw her sprawled out on the bathroom floor in a pool of her own blood. She tripped and whacked her head on the cast iron bathtub. Thats not all, she was also beaten alot by her husband, and the police where brought in numerous times. You go and try to f*cken tell me that s*it like that wouldn't scar someone or make them depressed.

Thanks everyone for the kind words, I really appreciate it..I really do.

[Graebel]

Hang in there, mo. I will send tons of good juju your way....or hope for them anyway.

Damn, where did I leave that voodoo handbook?

[mista_mo]

LOL, I've never had anyone tell me that they are going to send me good "juju" before lol

[Graebel]

You've never met the witch doctor I go too. Certified Caribbean crazy woman. LOL!

Seriously, I hope you are feeling better. I am on the roller coaster of life too, and let me tell you, any more loop-de-loops and I'm gonna ralph. Chocolate helps. I have M&Ms of ever flavor...only thing that gets me through the day.

:D Don't knock the juju, mon.:D

[AssassinFromHell]

Hang in there, mo. I will send tons of good juju your way....or hope for them anyway.

Damn, where did I leave that voodoo handbook?

Heeey, I want juju too. Eh, ummm, I have a tummy ache. Does that work? :D

[mista_mo]

Witch docter huh...those people always freaked me out..what with their chicken bones and such..

Yea...it comes and goes, I've had it since I was 11 or so...but it's really bad. chocolate does help, it's scientifically proven to make you feel better.

I'm just really looking forword to seeing my GF tho..damn..I can't wait to see her beautiful face again...it's amazing..just how much ome person can mean to you..I never thought I was dating material, having generally low self esteem and such...but apaprently tahts not true..

[coma]

Wher's my Damn ju ju?!?!
I DEMAND MY JU JU. Take a gander at this lovely pic.

No chocolte is fixin' this.
If I don't deserve juju, who does?

Sorry to hear about your Mom Mr. Mo. That's rough.

[HLS]

You are not alone. It will pass. if it is a constant thing you should seek medical help. Sometimes there are medical reasons for depression. Also going out with friends can cheer you up

[coma]

You know whats wierd. I litterally pour my heart out and literally nobody gives a flying f***. One one person was nice enough to aacknowldege me and say something to make me feel better For some strnage reason, alone in physical agony and total despondence I thought at least the guy I treid to help would maybe commiserate. I don't even really talk to my friends about this stuff. I stupidly sought relief from some other avenue. It was a dumb idea and will never happen again. I'm not some "sensitve" birkenstock guy with my heart on my sleeve. And that's why
I'm not trying to hijack someones thing, it was spontaneous because I was feeling the same thing and I can't just snap out of it. Exept I'm not anti social or whatever.
For some unknown reason I thought going blind might arouse a kind word. I was wrong. I will never mention it again. Thanks.:(
Prey to God everyday it doesn't happen to you, cause noone will give a damn.
Is it too tangiible? Too uncomftable? No one can relate?
pffffft.

[Tricky]

Ive been feeling a bit off it myself this week,though not the same way as i was when clinically depressed.Just battle on & you'll get to the other side bud!& if it gets too much just get help if you havent already,there isnt so much stigma these days.Ive been through clinical depression & its ****ing awful,take no notice of people who just think your whining about feeling a bit down,they honestly dont know **** if they havent been there themselves.Take care bud! :)

[thxleo]

Yeah, depression is also known to lead to suicide. I'm sure your post doesn't help a whole lot of this situation. You're one helluva person to come out like this. The fact somebody is feeling low and needed some encouragement made you wanna puke? You're the one with problems. If all you have to share is your senseless degration, then leave him alone. He's already down. Listening to your crap isn't going to help a damn thing.

Reading your post DID just make me puke. I just ruined my keyboard. Thanks alot.

[Debbieangel]

You know whats wierd. I litterally pour my heart out and literally nobody gives a flying f***. One one person was nice enough to aacknowldege me and say something to make me feel better For some strnage reason, alone in physical agony and total despondence I thought at least the guy I treid to help would maybe commiserate. I don't even really talk to my friends about this stuff. I stupidly sought relief from some other avenue. It was a dumb idea and will never happen again. I'm not some "sensitve" birkenstock guy with my heart on my sleeve. And that's why
I'm not trying to hijack someones thing, it was spontaneous because I was feeling the same thing and I can't just snap out of it. Exept I'm not anti social or whatever.
For some unknown reason I thought going blind might arouse a kind word. I was wrong. I will never mention it again. Thanks.:(
Prey to God everyday it doesn't happen to you, cause noone will give a damn.
Is it too tangiible? Too uncomftable? No one can relate?
pffffft.
Hey Coma and Mista_Mo
I feel for you and your depression...I know somewhat of what u are going thru...I have put on different threads about me having MS and I h ave been diagnosised with it for over 20 years. Sometimes you feel soo lonely cause noone understands what you are going thru cause that they cant possibly understand. You know...walk a mile in my shoes type of thing. Alot of the time I feel like a prisoner in my own home because of this darn disease cause it gets too humid and hot in Summer(causes the MS to attack me..hard to describe how iI feel) and soo cold in Winter(I fight infections cause of immune system). I am telling ya this cause, and I am saying from my heart and I really dont care what anyone says how sappy this is...be with your girlfriend and lean on her when you are feeling this way...call someone you care about or go visit them...you posting here there are alot of people that really care about u being depressed. Just try riding the wave out of it...I know its hard....dont let it get you soo far down again...Hey, even tho I am an older generation if ya want to vent just pm me and we can chat anytime...believe it or not I am a good listener! and this goes for you to Mist_Mo. As for praying Coma...God does hear ya and he will give you the strength to get thru it if u truly let him...I went in hospital ok when I was first diagnosised I was paralyzed totally on right side of my body..with in 13 days I WALKED out of the hospital not good but I walked. I fight depression everyday...that is a trait of the MS! MOst importantly I dont let it get me down for too long!lI hope this helped you and Mista_Mo alittle bit? Ya both just take care of yourselves and keep FIGHTING!!!

[Rottedfreak]

Do a good deed/ charitable act - always cheers me up thinking about them when I'm low.

[kortick]

mo you know we all care about you

depression doesnt go away like a cold
it takes a while to sort thru

you can do it

and coma
i hope you are ok
please hang in there

[AssassinFromHell]

Reading your post DID just make me puke. I just ruined my keyboard. Thanks alot.

Anything to ruin an inconsiderate boys' best friend

[coma]

Do a good deed/ charitable act - always cheers me up thinking about them when I'm low.

Thansk you all for your kind words. It means alot.

As far as that quote listen to this story, it'll bug you out;

The day I wote that first post about my story this it what happened.
I take a bus for an hour to the clinic.
Get to the clinic, see a kafka esque pencil pusher that the less said about the better, except she shouldv'e worked for Stalin
Wait 6 1/2 hours. I'm the last person to leave. I got 3 shots in my eye ball. They put a speculum just like CLockwork Organge when they force Malcom McDowell to watch the war films. Squish, squish. Docs done. I can't see anything. Blood is running out my eye and down my face. The anastetic wears off. I have to walk 2 blocks across a major city road to go to the bus stop in the pouring rain. Theres a big line to get on the bus. No one lets me on. So I wait for the next one.
Wait, it gets better
I get on a bus. Less people I get a seat. Next stop this lady gets off. I realize she left her purse. I stagger to the bus door and call her back.

She snatches it out of my hand and walk away.

I sit down. Notice behind my feet, under the seat is an overpriced Louis Vuttoin umbrealla. I pick it up, blood still running down my face, eye a bloody pulp, and ask her if it hers so she doesn't forget.
She snatches it and yells "That's mine"
Neddless to say I lost my mind and haranged her for a good 5 minutes. I was making a speech like TOm Joad but against bad manners.

"Where ever theres an ungrateful old B@#%$, I"LL BE THERE!"

So I will always do good deeds.
But no good deed goes unpunished. however, I will continue to do them.
talk about a horrible day.
But calling her a @#$%$ in ten different ways was very cathartic. She kept flipping her magazine and wouldn't look up and I told her every bad thing that ever happened in the world, happened because of people like her. Mind you, this is whith blood pouring out of my mangled eye. You may have seen the pic I posted earlier. Looking a little like my picture/avatr to the right. And I was sitting about 6 inches away from here. Last thing I said was "if it wasn't for lowclass, you wouldn't have any"

Debbieangel, I for one, will always keep fighting
mostly cause I have no choice!:skull:

People who mistake my kindness for weakness are making a huge mistake :0

[Debbieangel]

Thansk you all for your kind words. It means alot.

As far as that quote listen to this story, it'll bug you out;

The day I wote that first post about my story this it what happened.
I take a bus for an hour to the clinic.
Get to the clinic, see a kafka esque pencil pusher that the less said about the better, except she shouldv'e worked for Stalin
Wait 6 1/2 hours. I'm the last person to leave. I got 3 shots in my eye ball. They put a speculum just like CLockwork Organge when they force Malcom McDowell to watch the war films. Squish, squish. Docs done. I can't see anything. Blood is running out my eye and down my face. The anastetic wears off. I have to walk 2 blocks across a major city road to go to the bus stop in the pouring rain. Theres a big line to get on the bus. No one lets me on. So I wait for the next one.
Wait, it gets better
I get on a bus. Less people I get a seat. Next stop this lady gets off. I realize she left her purse. I stagger to the bus door and call her back.

She snatches it out of my hand and walk away.

I sit down. Notice behind my feet, under the seat is an overpriced Louis Vuttoin umbrealla. I pick it up, blood still running down my face, eye a bloody pulp, and ask her if it hers so she doesn't forget.
She snatches it and yells "That's mine"
Neddless to say I lost my mind and haranged her for a good 5 minutes. I was making a speech like TOm Joad but against bad manners.

"Where ever theres an ungrateful old B@#%$, I"LL BE THERE!"

So I will always do good deeds.
But no good deed goes unpunished. however, I will continue to do them.
talk about a horrible day.
But calling her a @#$%$ in ten different ways was very cathartic. She kept flipping her magazine and wouldn't look up and I told her every bad thing that ever happened in the world, happened because of people like her. Mind you, this is whith blood pouring out of my mangled eye. You may have seen the pic I posted earlier. Looking a little like my picture/avatr to the right. And I was sitting about 6 inches away from here. Last thing I said was "if it wasn't for lowclass, you wouldn't have any"

Debbieangel, I for one, will always keep fighting
mostly cause I have no choice!:skull:

People who mistake my kindness for weakness are making a huge mistake :0
You got that right my friend...if we as human beings dont show kindness to others we are no better than animals. That makes both of us in for the fight!!
Especially today!! BLAH!!! yucky day for me!

[mista_mo]

My faith helps me so much...it's amazing what it does for you...If I wasn't a christian, I imagine I'd be much worse off then I allready am, or worse. People always say how bad religion is, and I used to Agree with them, but experiencing it first hand, and the wonders it can do for you, I know otherwise. It feels so good to know that no matter what I do, no matter what I become, God is always there for me.

and Coma, sorry bout not responding at all guy, I sent you a PM but I thought I'd do this publicly as well.

and again, all of you, thanks a bunch for all the kind words...I saw my GF on Saturday, and when I went over to her house, I hugged her so hard that I took the air outta her lungs, and lifted her off the ground.

[Debbieangel]

My faith helps me so much...it's amazing what it does for you...If I wasn't a christian, I imagine I'd be much worse off then I allready am, or worse. People always say how bad religion is, and I used to Agree with them, but experiencing it first hand, and the wonders it can do for you, I know otherwise. It feels so good to know that no matter what I do, no matter what I become, God is always there for me.

and Coma, sorry bout not responding at all guy, I sent you a PM but I thought I'd do this publicly as well.

and again, all of you, thanks a bunch for all the kind words...I saw my GF on Saturday, and when I went over to her house, I hugged her so hard that I took the air outta her lungs, and lifted her off the ground.

HEY COOL...its GREAT to see a MAN not afraid to say in public about being a Christian...I am soo glad you got to see your GF. You are gonna make me cry..I am sooo happy for your..GOd bless you MO I am glad you are my friend!! You take care and keep the faith!!! Say a bunch of prayers for me ok?

[mista_mo]

hey all, just got outta the hospital..was my longest stay yet....15 days..wow..don't know what to say cept my medication has been upped and i'm on trazidone as well...have a whicked head ache right now, so it's going to be short

glad to be out tho.

[AssassinFromHell]

hey all, just got outta the hospital..was my longest stay yet....15 days..wow..don't know what to say cept my medication has been upped and i'm on trazidone as well...have a whicked head ache right now, so it's going to be short

glad to be out tho.

Just because you're favorite band's bassist is named Flea doesn't mean you need to get all depressed :p

Seriously though, I'm pullin for ya. 15 days? Dude, get a guitar. Those things are like magic. Play awesome solos and relieve yourself. And look at this way, if you get ****ed, you can go all Kurt Kobain on it and smash it. :D

Get better Chris. I'm really prayin' for ya. You're an awesome dude. Depression is just a phase. I went through it. Keep fightin' it.

[zombiegirl]

Glad to see you back and hope your feeling better. :)

[coma]

Seriously though, I'm pullin for ya. 15 days? Dude, get a guitar. Those things are like magic. Play awesome solos and relieve yourself. And look at this way, if you get ****ed, you can go all Kurt Kobain on it and smash it. :D
Music is the way to do, dude. It works wonders for me, I play an awesome solo, then I think "I'm f**kin AWESOME!" For that moment .at least. life is too sweet. You feel lonely play a sad thing (in the saddest of all keys-Dminor). Plus the chicks dig it.
And dont smash it or I'll reach through My dsl cable and kill you:evil:


Depression is just a phase. I went through it. Keep fightin' it.
Truer words have never been spoken

I got my girl, my axe and My bong, I'm A-OK:)

I could probably use some of them meds myself, though :)