Can't keep it locked up inside

[MapMan]

I woke up on a Sunday morning to have my wife of ten years sitting there in the bedroom. She looked at told me that she wanted to move on in her life. Out of the Blue, total shock. She then got up and left. I asked her on the way out the door if there was any way that we could talk about it and she said no. I asked if there was another person and again no.

I didn't see her again that day. I tried to call her cell but she wouldn't answer. It drove me crazy. I was hurting really bad and not knowing where she was tearing me apart inside. She ended up going with a friend to a movie
and dinner she says.

The next day she called me and wanted me to come fix her companies e-mail like it was no big deal that she crushed me.

It gets better. My car had died about two weeks earlier. There is nothing like being kicked when you are down already.

I have been 100% faithful to her. I helped her start up 3 businesses, which by the way I worked at the previous week before she told me. I wasn't a possessive person. I don't know what happened? I have my suspensions but until I see it firsthand I really don't know.

My pain has turned to anger. Anger has given way to numbness. I don't care anymore. I honestly don't give a damn. I had to get this off my chest.

I'll dust myself off and get up. It sucks, but it's life. I need a drink.

[coma]

That is RAW. Oof. Talk about a kick in the Nads. She wanted to fix her email?!?!
You deserve an explanation, at least.
Maybe in this case you were the better half.
No wonder you were feeling bad.
I had someone do me like that and I thought I was literally goinfg to go crazy until I resolved it. Which I did, Sorta.
Upshot is I have a really awesome GF. Took me a long time to find her, so there is hope. Lots of hope. The only girl I ever asked out twice (said No the 1st time)
Have that drink have 2 or 3
But don't do a drunken flip out and catch a beating cause your mouth off to a large dude cause your crazy upset. please. (that happened to me , too:p )

[Svengoolie]

My advice to you...is to start drinking heavily.

[general tbag]

sorry to hear that, i know it sucks... yup get drunk

my best advice this early is go to a lawyer, make the frist move before she does. dont be mean but look out for your own interests.

just remember it a ocean out there and there is alot of fish in it.

[Neil]

Everyone has moments of the "grass is greener" or sort of mid-life crisis... Everyone is therefore allowed moments of madness or irrationality...

Give her a few days, be patient with her, and if she still wants to continue down a "different path" then there's little you can do I guess than let her start down it...

However, in the meantime, given the pain she's inflicted on you, there's more important things to be fixed than email! ie: Emotionally, it's like rubbing salt in the wound for her to ask you for "favours" at a time like this.

[Cody]

im sorry man that really sucks

[Eyebiter]

Sorry to hear what happened. Unfortunately in circumstances like this there is a good chance she has another person in mind. If that's the case, it will be to your benefit in the divorce to have this throughly documented. Might be worth having a PI follow her around for a few days to see where she goes and who she is seeing. Having pictures to show the judge would help your case in a divorce.

On Monday start taking steps to protect your assets. Do you two have a home, expensive cars, joint bank accounts, or other substantial assets? If so start moving money to accounts she does not have access to. Last thing you want is for your spouse to clean out your cash if your car isn't working.

[AcesandEights]

MapMan, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for this bullsh1t that you have to go through.

Now listen, talk to people on here who've had similar issues, look on the net and talk to family and friends who've had familiarity with similar issues. Contact a lawyer, just in case (though maybe you will not need one). Don't let anger, or despair push you into giving her ammunition against you.

You're still young and if someone could harbor these sort of feelings and not preface them earlier in the marriage, then you need none of what that person has to offer. That will probably be deadly hard to hear, but would you really want to work hard on a relationship with someone who coukd drop a bomb like that on you, offer you few details and tell you there was no room for discussion?

Pull back, get a clear view of the situation and cover your bases!

Again, I'm sorry to hear about this. I hope you know you can always bitch to us here, if it helps.

[Neil]

MapMan, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for this bullsh1t that you have to go through.

Now listen, talk to people on here who've had similar issues, look on the net and talk to family and friends who've had familiarity with similar issues. Contact a lawyer, just in case (though maybe you will not need one). Don't let anger, or despair push you into giving her ammunition against you.

You're still young and if someone could harbor these sort of feelings and not preface them earlier in the marriage, then you need none of what that person has to offer. That will probably be deadly hard to hear, but would you really want to work hard on a relationship with someone who coukd drop a bomb like that on you, offer you few details and tell you there was no room for discussion?

Pull back, get a clear view of the situation and cover your bases!

Again, I'm sorry to hear about this. I hope you know you can always bitch to us here, if it helps.

^^^^^^
What he says!

[MapMan]

Thanks everyone. I will be o.k. Life goes on.

[Tricky]

A lot of women are just headwreckers,although ive never been married,ive had a couple of girlfriends ive cared about a lot who have suddenly done the same thing & its gutted me!Then of course they fail to see why you cant "just be friends",& get all nasty about it if you either try to patch things up or say that you cant "just be a friend" because of the way you feel.women are psychos my friend,fortunately some less than others

[p2501]

MapMan, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for this bullsh1t that you have to go through.

Now listen, talk to people on here who've had similar issues, look on the net and talk to family and friends who've had familiarity with similar issues. Contact a lawyer, just in case (though maybe you will not need one). Don't let anger, or despair push you into giving her ammunition against you.

You're still young and if someone could harbor these sort of feelings and not preface them earlier in the marriage, then you need none of what that person has to offer. That will probably be deadly hard to hear, but would you really want to work hard on a relationship with someone who coukd drop a bomb like that on you, offer you few details and tell you there was no room for discussion?

Pull back, get a clear view of the situation and cover your bases!

Again, I'm sorry to hear about this. I hope you know you can always bitch to us here, if it helps.

****ing genius advice.

well done.

[coma]

Everyone has moments of the "grass is greener" or sort of mid-life crisis... Everyone is therefore allowed moments of madness or irrationality...

Give her a few days, be patient with her, and if she still wants to continue down a "different path" then there's little you can do I guess than let her start down it...


Insightful and Very Good Advice.


Now listen, talk to people on here who've had similar issues, look on the net and talk to family and friends who've had familiarity with similar issues. Contact a lawyer, just in case (though maybe you will not need one). Don't let anger, or despair push you into giving her ammunition against you.

You're still young and if someone could harbor these sort of feelings and not preface them earlier in the marriage, then you need none of what that person has to offer. That will probably be deadly hard to hear, but would you really want to work hard on a relationship with someone who coukd drop a bomb like that on you, offer you few details and tell you there was no room for discussion?

Pull back, get a clear view of the situation and cover your bases!
.
Ditto for Great Advice on this too

[tju1973]

I know what you are going through--- almost to a t. You can still love her, but onceshe has made her mind up to move on, then-- well, she is gone.

Have a few stiff drinks, and-- time heals all.

I am proof..:(