Start of a story, help with title

[Beacon]

Hello, I've just started to write a story and I wanted to run it past some people to see what you think. I'm also struggling to come up with a good title, I'm going for something "realistic" in NYC, not the usual "the world falls apart in a day" but a dragged out story, focusing more on moral dilemmas and crowds unintentionally causing death or problems etc, and a look into what actions a government could "realistically" take to try to prevent the spread of the disease, not the usual "NUKE EM ALL!".

I'll upload a "flashier" pdf version here: https://www.docdroid.net/QLWFHp7/hobby-book.pdf
And also just paste the text here if for some reason you can't reach the link. I would really love some feedback on what you think, did the location feel real/dull, did the characters feel believable etc. Even if it's just "I hated it" I still want to hear it :) Constrictive feedback would be great tho :)

[Neil]

Sorry, I've removed the first chapter as it's a huge amount of text.

I would immediately comment though that it needs paragraphs introduced. ie: When a single paragraph goes on for two or more pages, it needs breaking up IMHO. Especially when it has dialogue/conversation in it.

I'll have a proper read in due course (from the PDF) :)

[Beacon]

Oh, sorry, thanks for removing it :) You're right that I should break up the text more, it made it much easier to read :)