The PURINA diet and it's reprecussions

[DjfunkmasterG]

I have a Labrador retriever, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (Duh!) On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

Practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

[MinionZombie]

:lol:

Sh*t dude, you're too funny. I'd have loved to have been there when you whipped out that one, lol, what a muppet that woman was. Who on earth buys a wodge of Purina ("point to a bag today!" :D) without owning a dog! ... Well, people on the Purina diet I guess.

What would you do if you saw in the paper in a few weeks - "local woman in coma after attempting The Purina Diet!"? :eek:

[Adrenochrome]

I have a Labrador retriever, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (Duh!) On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

Practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
:lol: :lol: :lol: LOVE IT!!!!!!

[AcesandEights]

Heh. First time I laughed today. Thank you! :)

[MikePizzoff]

I have a Labrador retriever, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (Duh!) On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

Practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

:lol: :lol: :lol: OH MAN! Your stories are ****ing classic.

[LoSTBoY]

Heheheheheheh!!!!

Nice gag, mate.


What would you do if you saw in the paper in a few weeks - "local woman in coma after attempting The Purina Diet!"? :eek:

I prefer the headline:

"Women dies of heart attack while chasing car." :lol:

[Adrenochrome]

DJ, just to let you know.......I just told this story to my girlfriend and she spit soup in my face from laughing.......Well done, my friend.......she's got a crazy sense of humor -- she also wants to buy you a drink if you're ever in the Kansas City area! (and she'll most definitely want to rub your bald head :D)




peace and LOL

[zombiegirl]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Great one!

[DjfunkmasterG]

Actually this is just a joke I heard sometime ago and it came to me this afternoon.

It got me cracking up so I figured I would share it with you guys.

[Adrenochrome]

Actually this is just a joke I heard sometime ago and it came to me this afternoon.

It got me cracking up so I figured I would share it with you guys.
Oh my.....if I tell my girlfriend this,.....she's gonna want to smack you. (but, that can be fun, too):D

[DjfunkmasterG]

It is one of those jokes you have to make yourself the 1st person otherwise it isn't as funny when told in the 3rd person.

BTW I am not paying for any destoryed keyboards. Spit away from the expensive elctronics. :D

[Adrenochrome]

:D
It is one of those jokes you have to make yourself the 1st person otherwise it isn't as funny when told in the 3rd person.

BTW I am not paying for any destoryed keyboards. Spit away from the expensive elctronics. :D
Well, it was funny.......
msg from the gal: "I still wanna ride that head!" -- :D


you bastard!!!!
ATTN: DJ is stealin' mah niggah!!!!!!


:D

[DjfunkmasterG]

What is so special about my Chrome Dome? :D

Plus it is $50.00 a ride. :p

[Adrenochrome]

What is so special about my Chrome Dome? :D

Plus it is $50.00 a ride. :p
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
her response: " kitty purrrr":D (with the purr sound that just made ME wet)
so, dippin' into my wallet now, eh, DJ??? Damn you!!!! I see you vanilla man!!!!! *stabs at whatever with whatever......*

[DjfunkmasterG]

There is also a Onie Night room surcharge, plus airfare

[dmbfanintn]

First,

Y'all need to find a room!!

Second,

That is the funniest sheet i have heard in ages!!!

Rep for you brother!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Graebel]

Laughed so hard I cried. Man, DJ, I needed that today. :lol:

[MapMan]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dude I am leaving my house of ten years today. Thank you so much you made my day. Funny as hell.:lol: :lol: :lol: I laughed here one last time.

[DjfunkmasterG]

I am glad you guys found that funny. Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

[HLS]

Just like Jeff Foxworthy and his gang would say....here's your sign! LOL I wish I was there!

[Adrenochrome]

Just like Jeff Foxworthy and his gang would say....here's your sign! LOL I wish I was there!
huh???
:confused:

[FoodFight]

I think I wet myself...yes, I definately did.

[DeadJonas190]

Pure comedic genius