Harmony

[Giger]

"In the town called Harmony, survivors of a zombie invasion must decide how high a price to pay for peace and safety." A new screenplay coming soon to a Homepage Of The Dead near you!

[LoSTBoY]

Is that you Steve?

I read the screenplay: :thumbsup:

[Giger]

It is me. What did ya think?

[LoSTBoY]

I didn't like the guys at the start but that changed quickly. The concept was good, in line with LoTD zombies. Great climax, sad yet energetic. Liked the voice of the dead room. :)

The ending allows for a second story, any plans?

[Giger]

No plans for a second story yet. Many people have disliked the beginning, so I plan to rewrite Harmony sometime the beginning of next year. So, you can look for that. Thanks for the read.

[Danny]

"voice of the dead room", im intrigued was it a zombie versionof the dude in the 2nd matrix film with the clicker pen:D

[Giger]

Well, it'll show in the fiction section soon. I am being patient. It's only been a little over a week since I submitted it. Anyone interested can PM me their email addy and I'll send it out.

[Giger]

*Does a happy dance* Harmony is now posted in the fiction section! I'm someone. I'm someone. :lol:

[rightwing401]

Congrads Giger.
My home computer can't read out the script so I've only been able to read like the first fifteen to twenty pages. But I did read enough to offer my oppinion.
I'm afraid that I have to agree that the beginning needs some work. The reader is thrown into the situation with no idea how many people there are, so it got a little confusing on who was who.
The second thing is that the survivors seemed just a little too carefree and unorganized given their situation. There was some confusion on the matter of who was in charge too. Odds are in a world like the living dead, the toughest, smartest, or ruthless person would be on top and no one else would dare to question them.
The last thing I noticed was the bit about the bus. It doesn't seem very likely to me that these people who have managed to stay alive for so long, most of the young people having lived the majority of their lives if not all of it in this apocolyptic world, would just jump into the bus without looking inside. The only way it seems plausable is if the person in charge of keeping it secure failed in their responsibility (accidentally leaving the door unlocked), thus allowing some of the dead to stumble onboard unnoticed.
When I manage to finish the rest of it I'll give you my full account of Harmony.

[Giger]

You've read the worst part!

[rightwing401]

True, but the worst part is the best part to be read for constructive criticism.