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Kaos
09-Oct-2006, 11:45 AM
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15190745/


The story below isn't the same as the link, but I still find it hilarious...
Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot

January 22, 2003 | Issue 39•02 (http://www.theonion.com/content/index/3902)
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA—Responding to mounting pressure and increasingly confrontational rhetoric from the outside world, North Korean president Kim Jong Il unfolded into a 70-foot-tall, 62-ton giant robot Monday.

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Kim-Jong-Il-Unfolds-C.article.jpg

Kim Jong Il marches through the streets of Pyongyang.



"The DPRK's nuclear program is very much its own business, as is its right to determine its own path of security," said Kim, his torso splitting along ventral seams as clusters of Taepo-Dong ICBMs rose from his shoulders. "Any attempt by Washington to decide our fate will surely result in a sea of fire being unleashed upon them."


As his arms and legs sheathed themselves in bulletproof Mecha-Muscle telescoping outward from his chest, Kim reiterated his refusal to bow to international demands.


"Constant criticism from outside indicates mistrust of our promise to refrain from missile tests," said Kim, speaking over the mechanical shriek of wingblades sprouting from his back. "Only trust from the U.S. that we will keep our word can prevent World War III."


"The imperialist West is holding my country to standards which it does not see fit to meet itself," continued Kim, his voice now a metallic, digitized boom emanating from somewhere within the titanium helmet sheathing his head. "This does not surprise me, as they are well-famed for their lies."
"Pyongyang Dynamo Power Punch!" added Kim, as he released his fist-modules skyward with twin robotic uppercuts.


While the Bush Administration remains publicly confident that a diplomatic solution can be reached, top officials admit that the situation has become more complicated.
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Kim-Jong-Il-Unfolds-Jump-C.article.jpg
A South Korean border soldier eyes Kim Jong Il in the Demilitarized Zone.



"If we add Kim Jong Il's transformation into a giant robot to his already defiant isolationist stance and his country's known nuclear capability, the diplomatic terrain definitely becomes more rocky," U.S. envoy James Kelly said. "Kim has made it clear that, if sufficiently threatened, he will not hesitate to use nuclear weapons or his arm-mounted HyperBazooka."
Added Kelly: "We are also forced to consider the possibility that Kim may attempt to robo-meld with other members of the Axis of Evil, forming a MegaMecha-Optima-Robosoldier. Kim would make a powerful right arm—or even a torso—for such a mechanism."


During a visit Monday to the Demilitarized Zone dividing the Korean peninsula, Kim stressed that his transformation was not an act of aggression, but rather an attempt to defend his nation's autonomy.


"The DPRK must not be subject to the whims of an international coalition with no regard for the welfare of the Korean people," said Kim before stomping the ground with his foot, unleashing a devastating ring of energy that vaporized nearby reporters and military vehicles. "Catastrophic Valiant Kim-Chee Earthquake Stomp-Kick!"

Chakobsa
09-Oct-2006, 09:48 PM
Kaos, that is pure genius and very funny.Thanks for posting.:lol:
On a more serious note, now that they have the bomb what are they going to do with it? They must realize that they can't use it and not expect to be wiped out. The M.A.D doctrine cannot apply as they know damn well that if they launch against any one else in the region they will be wiped out.
Interestingly I read somewhere recently ( can't remember where:rolleyes: )
that the Japanese have everything they need to make nuclear weapons, they just haven't yet. I wonder if this latest development will change their minds?

Kaos
10-Oct-2006, 11:33 AM
Kaos, that is pure genius and very funny.Thanks for posting.:lol:
On a more serious note, now that they have the bomb what are they going to do with it? They must realize that they can't use it and not expect to be wiped out. The M.A.D doctrine cannot apply as they know damn well that if they launch against any one else in the region they will be wiped out.
Interestingly I read somewhere recently ( can't remember where:rolleyes: )
that the Japanese have everything they need to make nuclear weapons, they just haven't yet. I wonder if this latest development will change their minds?

North Korea has explicitly stated that they consider their nuclear program a cash cow. The intend to sell a portion of the weapons they make on the black market. So, terrorists should have relatively free access to the bomb within a couple years guaranteed.

p2501
10-Oct-2006, 04:55 PM
North Korea has explicitly stated that they consider their nuclear program a cash cow. The intend to sell a portion of the weapons they make on the black market. So, terrorists should have relatively free access to the bomb within a couple years guaranteed.

They're not going anywhere with it. the JDSF will see to that.

well assuming the UN doesn't **** this up.

Dommm
11-Oct-2006, 09:16 AM
I truley dont understand why anyone needs nuclear weaponary, and I dont see where America comes in telling other countries that they shouldnt have nuclear weaponary they are hardly to be trusted with this either.

Chakobsa
11-Oct-2006, 09:28 AM
I truley dont understand why anyone needs nuclear weaponary, and I dont see where America comes in telling other countries that they shouldnt have nuclear weaponary they are hardly to be trusted with this either.
America isn't likely to use any of it's nuclear arsenal as currency, nor is it likely to threaten it's neighbours.
For decades the doctrine of M.A.D kept the U.S and the Soviet union in check, each knew that if they launched then their destruction was assured. Unstable states run by dictators or theocracies clearly should not be allowed to possess these weapons with impunity. Sooner or later one of these regimes will
supply terrorists with a bomb. How far out of central London are you, Domm?

Marie
11-Oct-2006, 11:32 AM
I truley dont understand why anyone needs nuclear weaponary, and I dont see where America comes in telling other countries that they shouldnt have nuclear weaponary they are hardly to be trusted with this either.

This is of course because America has been busy nuking everyone the last fourty or so years right? We all remember how we sold the Contras in the South nucular weapons too right? Oh yea, and we nuked Russia out of communism, and nuked Sadam out of Iraq...

Point is, We ARE the only country to actually use the d__m things in a war, but the knife was at our throats. We HAVEN'T done all that other stuff, but I assure you North Korea or Iran WILL. Hope you have enough food stored for like fifty years....

M_

dmbfanintn
11-Oct-2006, 03:37 PM
We need to send in Team America world Police!!!!

America FVCK YEAH!

Don't EVER forget, freedom isn't free, it costs a heavy fvckin fee.

To be exact, Freedom costs a buck 'o five!

the only reason Kim does these things is because he is just so ronery!

Dommm
11-Oct-2006, 03:46 PM
Still no reason to kill millions of innocents period

dmbfanintn
11-Oct-2006, 03:53 PM
Still no reason to kill millions of innocents period

Not sure who that was meant for, but my post was a joke! there is way too much tension on this board over political stuff!

Alot could be debated now days about innocents being killed and the "reasons" behind said killings!

Kaos
11-Oct-2006, 04:40 PM
Still no reason to kill millions of innocents period

Which textbook did you read that in? The death toll from both atom bombs were under 220,000 according to the Japanese, and this includes collateral deaths.

Bombs are indescriminant weapons. They are frequently used in war. The only difference between nuclear bombs and conventional one is the amount of devastation that nuclear megaton bombs can have as well as the radiation and fallout that poisons well beyond the target. This is why we have avoided using them since WW2. The carpet bombing of Tokyo with conventional weapons produced a firestorm that killed about 100,000 people. As far as the death toll was concerned it was the equivalent of an atomic bomb.

Andy
11-Oct-2006, 05:02 PM
i read in the paper today that they dont beleive it was a nuclear bomb anymore anyway, the explosion was alot smaller than expected and they beleive its more likely to of come from a convential weapon.

p2501
11-Oct-2006, 05:47 PM
i read in the paper today that they dont beleive it was a nuclear bomb anymore anyway, the explosion was alot smaller than expected and they beleive its more likely to of come from a convential weapon.

i've heard this as well but the speculation is split between either NK screwed up the bomb and it didn't detonate to full capacity, or that is was a very large conventional explosive.