Share your favorite cheesey jokes...

[radiokill]

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

See you next month! :lol:

[Cody]

lol...thats terrible but hey I approve

[Chakobsa]

A pork pie walks into a pub and says "Pint of bitter please" barman says "sorry sir we don't serve food".

[radiokill]

A pork pie walks into a pub and says "Pint of bitter please" barman says "sorry sir we don't serve food".

:lol:

A six-foot termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?

[LouCipherr]

A guy walks into a bar.. damn that must've hurt! :lol:



A duck walks into a bar and says "Gimmie a beer!"
The bartender says "that'll be $5"
To which the duck replied "that's cool, just put it on my bill" :rolleyes:


Wait, it gets worse.


What happens when you throw a pink elephent into the red sea?
It gets wet.

:p

What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs

Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
He heard the snowblower was coming.

:lol: That's all I can think of now.. more cheese later. :D

[HLS]

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

You show him a used tampon and ask him to determine which period it is from

[Chakobsa]

Q;What's blue and white and if it falls from a tree will kill you?
A; A fridge in a denim jacket.

[MikePizzoff]

A grasshopper walks into a bar; the bartender says, "You know we have a drink named after you?" to which the grashopper says, "You have a drink named Steve?"

[Maitreya]

How about a dirty one, eh?

A WHITE HORSE JUMPS INTO A MUD PUDDLE!!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

............

[radiokill]

:lol: that's one I've always heard coupled with...

How do you make a handkercheif dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

[capncnut]

Okay guys, crap joke:

A guy and his girlfriend walk into a bar. The girl has a vodka tonic and the guy orders a pint of 'magic' beer. The girl says to him "magic beer? whats so magic about it?" The guy drinks the pint in one, runs upstairs, jumps out of the window and flies around the building three times in a circle before flying back into the bar. The girl looks at him and says "wow, can I try some of that?" The guy orders a pint for her and says "sure, here you go." Just like him she drinks it all in one, runs upstairs, jumps out of the window but instead of flying she falls 20 feet down and breaks her neck, killing her instantly. The bartender says to the guy, "Clark Kent, you're a cruel bastard when you're drunk!"


Q;What's blue and white and if it falls from a tree will kill you?
A; A fridge in a denim jacket.

I told that joke in chat the other night and nobody understood it! :lol:

[Cody]

I dont understand it.

A girl whos been with to many guys

is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

[FoodFight]

Two guys are walking down a street when they see a dog licking itself. The first guy says "Man, I'd sure like to be able to do that". The second says "Why don't you try petting him first?".

[Cody]

Lol!!!

[Adrenochrome]

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


A: TWO. One to actually do it, and one to write a folksong about it!

[LouCipherr]

Q: How many weight lifters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 5. One to screw in the lightbulb, the other 4 to stand around him screaming "YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD MAN!! GO! GO! GO!!!!!"





If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals because you will run out.

[Adrenochrome]

Q: How many Éamon_DeValera's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




A: SAFFORD, Ariz.--A fugitive's abduction by alien beings has prompted a hasty interstellar extradition treaty, now under review by the U.S. Senate.

The abduction disrupted a high-speed police chase along Interstate 70. Police cornered the fugitive, thirty-seven year old Jonathan Lee Walden, but his stolen SUV suddenly vanished from the highway.

"I saw some kind of metal craft hovering over the truck, then there was this intense white beam, and the truck disappeared," said one eyewitness.

Police dismissed the beam as a searchlight from the helicopter pursuing Walden.

No police reports were filed after the chase, except for three documents almost entirely censored with black marker, and one report of a speeding fine issued, but not collected, for a vehicle exceeding 670,616,629 miles per hour in a 25 mile-per-hour zone.

Two of the censored documents mention a new law enforcement authority called 'Interplanetpol.'

Government officials denied that any non-terrestrial extradition treaty was in the works. But--in the words of one Capitol source--"it's right there on the books, ***Treaty Doc. 209-19, 109th Congress, 2nd Session.***"

The source also reported that members of the president's staff have extensively briefed Ambassador Richard L. Zlevin on US-extraterrestrial relations, and have reserved broadcast time on the Federal Radio Observatory's Red Bank transmitter for treaty negotiations.

Prior to the abduction, fugitive Walden was serving time for kidnapping--"so the aliens are unlikely to have much sympathy with U.S. law enforcement officials during the negotiations," said the source.

[_liam_]

how many vietnam veterans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




A - you don't know? COS YOU WERENT THERE MAN!!!


1 more.

a gorilla walks into a pub and orders a pint.

the barman pulls it, charges him £5, and says
"don't get many great apes in here"

gorilla says
"not suprised when it's five f***ing pounds a pint!"

[prettycorpses]

Q - Whats the definition of a glass bra

A - Smash and Grab

My friend looooves that one :rolleyes:

[Mike70]

here's a hpotd classic:

two zombies are eating a clown. one them looks at the other and says,"hey does this guy taste funny to you?"

the rest of a bad lot:

a guy is eating in a german restaurant. he tells the waiter "my soup is cold." the waiter replies "don't worry, the wurst is yet to come."

a man is killed by a falling icecicle. he died of cold cuts.

darth vader and luke meet up on christmas. luke says,"hey darth i got you something for christmas." darth asks why. luke says, " because i felt your presents."

a man walks into a bar with a piece of ashpalt under his arm. he says to the bartender "i'll have one for me and one for he road."

what do hillbilly chicks say after sex? "get up daddy, you're crushing my newports."

and finally:
a priest, a ferengi and a klingon walk into a bar. the bartender looks at them and asks, "what is this, some kind of joke?"

thank you. i'll be here all week. try the veal.

[_liam_]

i love that darth vader one!!!.

q.how many ears does mr spock have?

a. 3, a left ear, a right ear, and "space"...the final, front-ear.

[Adrenochrome]

i love that darth vader one!!!.

q.how many ears does mr spock have?

a. 3, a left ear, a right ear, and "space"...the final, front-ear.

this one gets my vote for cheesiest! BRAVO!:D

[radiokill]

Q: How many Éamon_DeValera's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


these are all great!!!!

[Dtothe3]

A guy wakes up after an operation. He says to the doctor;

"Doctor, doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

"That's because we amputated your arms you twat".

-
(use these in order)

How many elephants can you fit in a mini?

4, two in the front, two in the back.

-

What's harder then getting an elephant in a mini?

Getting a pregnant elephant in a mini.

-

What's harder then getting a pregnant elephant in a mini?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a mini.

-

How can you tell when there's a giraffe in your fridge?

Big footprints in the butter.

-

How can you tell when there's an (insert big animal here) in your fridge? (repeat until person starts answering "big footprints in the butter")

-

How can you tell when there's an elephant in your fridge?

There's a mini parked outside.

-

So this dislexic walks into a bra.

-

So this seal walks into a canadian club. ****ing tragedy.

-

I was this far off a blowjob the other night (indicates with fingers) (bends over).

-

What's the best part about shagging 25 year olds?

There's 20 of them.

-

Two peadophiles on a beach. One says to the other "Oi! Get out of my sun".

-

A couple were caught shagging on a train. The conductor called the Transport Police and they were arrested at the next station.

The girl was let off, but they charged the guy with mounting and dismounting whilst the train's in motion, and having a first class ride on a second class ticket.

-

I nearly had a psychic girlfriend. But she left me before we met.

-

What do you call a midget vampire?

A pain in the knee.

...

Cheesy enough for ya? :P

[HLS]

Two guys are walking down a street when they see a dog licking itself. The first guy says "Man, I'd sure like to be able to do that". The second says "Why don't you try petting him first?".


BWAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know Mr. ******, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"
Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."
The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong.
"Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"
Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with them!!!"
Frustrated at this the man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again, "Are my test results back???

[_liam_]

what do you call a single musician?

homeless!

what's the difference between a lowrider and a man with 60 kids?

one has hydraulics, the other, dry bollox.

what's the difference between a nun and a nun in the bath?

one has Hope in her Soul...

[Scott]

I don't think this was posted yet, but here's one I tell all the time. It always gets a laugh because of how cheesy it is.

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Wow it's pretty hot in here." and the other muffin says "OH MY GOD, A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

[_liam_]

heheheh

two flies on a toilet seat...


...one got pissed off

[MinionZombie]

*wipes tears from eyes*

Sometimes the cheesiest of jokes are the best jokes ... the fly getting "pissed off" was fantastic. :thumbsup:

[Deadman_Deluxe]

Q: Why do women wear make-up and perfume?











A: Because they are ugly, and they stink!

[HLS]

Q: Why do women wear make-up and perfume?











A: Because they are ugly, and they stink!


That joke 'stunk.' hehehehe:D

[capncnut]

Q: Why do women have small feet?





A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink!

[mista_mo]

whats the difference between a strawberry and a dog

you don't know what the friggin difference between a strawberry and dog is? what are you retarded.

why did the chicken cross the road?

cuz it has herpes

why did the chicken cross the road?

it didn't, it was dead

[Eyebiter]

A skeleton walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "What'll ya have?"
The skeleton replies, "A beer and a mop."

[HLS]

Q: Why do women have small feet?





A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink!

That is so sad..bwaahaaa

[Danny]

"the nintendo wii"


...snigger......:lol:

[Bubdotd]

What did the five fingers say to the face?













SLAP!

[capncnut]

Q. What's green and badass?





A. A frog with a switchblade!