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View Full Version : A bat drives my wife batty.



Kaos
16-Nov-2006, 04:18 AM
Apparently a bat got in the house when I was taking out the trash. We didn't notice until later when my wife played with the blinds to see why they were rattling. It was dark but she saw the body of something crawling behind the blinds. Of course, she lost it. I turn on the light and saw it was a little bat. His body was no more than 3.5 inches long and his wingspan was under 5 inches. While she retreated to our daughters room totally disrupting her sleep, I went and got a butterfly net and some cardboard from the garage. The little thing was scared to death and easily caught. Once trapped in the net I took him to the porch and set him free. My wife wants to call a bat expert, and I want her to see a psychiatrist. We will call an exterminator if we see one again, but I doubt I will.

capncnut
16-Nov-2006, 06:06 AM
Dont talk about those darned bats, I see those f**kers every time I'm on mescaline. Just ask my attorney Dr Gonzo, he'll tell ya! :D

MinionZombie
16-Nov-2006, 10:43 AM
Awwww, sounds a l'il cute from the story there Kaos.

I have a bat incident, it was a tad Fear & Loathing (minus the drugs). I was a kid and had been in the woods with a friend (no, not "getting gay" :lol:), we were building a den in the weird kinda already-somewhat-cleared-clearing (we later had the farmer who owned the land shoot in our general direction with a shotgun! :eek:).

Anyway, one evening when coming back from the den - we just banged sticks against trees and threw dirt around, lol - and were walking down the dirt track that leads to the main road. It was late dusk and almost full on night and then all of a sudden we hear this kinda screeching noise and suddenly there was a flock (or whatever they're called) of (no, not seagulls, but...) bats flying overhead!

They were so close I could feel the breeze over my head, we ducked in fright and saw this swarm of bats heat off into the night, scared the crap outta me - but not as much as a couple of weeks later when that farmer started shooting at us with his shotgun! (Not surprising from a farmer who lives on their own and straps dead blackbirds to wooden poles with wire to 'get a message across' to other birds)...:dead::eek:

radiokill
16-Nov-2006, 01:36 PM
call the exterminator because of one bat :lol: :lol: sounds like something my girlfriend would be trying to talk me into :lol:


(Not surprising from a farmer who lives on their own and straps dead blackbirds to wooden poles with wire to 'get a message across' to other birds)...:dead::eek:
:lol:
my grandaddy does that when they are being pests...it works. he's not living the self-sufficient lifestyle, though.

I had a scary encounter with a bat one time when I was younger. I was following a creek through a culvert under the highway and I had walking stick. I got half way down when a bat comes flying straight for my head at eye-level very quickly (I realize now he would've just gone around me had I done nothing, but I didn't then). right before he hit my head I spun the stick to hit him but lodged it on the sides of the culvert. the bat got half an inch from the stick and increased his altitude just slightly so that he missed the stick. I was thinking that sonar effin rocks.

Danny
16-Nov-2006, 01:41 PM
ive never been scared of bats really, nothing with fur i find particularly scary, its anything with more than 4 legs that gets to me.
though i take mz's bat in the woods and raise you a 5 foot grey heron with a beak like a foot and a half long chasing me in the woods when i was about 6, that bastard was like something out of jurassic park.:lol:

radiokill
16-Nov-2006, 02:14 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: those things come to my pond every now and then.....they are gigantic, couldn't imagine a six-year-old being chased by one. that's crazy because they get scared easily

for some reason that reminds of the time when I was less than five feet tall and so this snake was the same length/height, a blue runner. I was in the woods w/ my dad and rounded a corner a head of him. this snake was standing straight up on it's tail, standing eye to eye with me. i don't know how, but I managed to **** my pants (I was like 7 or 8) and slowly back away. when the snake laid down I heard a gunshot. my dad's .38 special spilt it's head. the top of it's head flipped open like a lid to a can. the cool part about it, its brain lay perfectly intact on the ground beside its head, attatched by one red and one blue vein......I'd wish I knew more about snake anatomy because it looked great. wish i could describe it better.

bassman
16-Nov-2006, 02:19 PM
"No point in mentioning the bats, I thought. The poor bastard would see them soon enough"

FoodFight
17-Nov-2006, 07:33 AM
Kaos....you actually OWN a butterfly net?

scotty Boy
17-Nov-2006, 08:53 AM
the only time ive encounted a bat was at Long Leat. i was with my girlfriend and we were walking through a kiddies treasure game and one room was full of bats and as i walked through i felt all this water fall on my head and arm.

When i walked out.... you guessed it, it had **** all over me and pissed on my head!!! i was far from happy and didnt smile for a good two hours.

****ing things

Kaos
17-Nov-2006, 11:28 AM
Kaos....you actually OWN a butterfly net?

Yeah, it actually belongs to my daughter. Her mother spoils her too much. :)

Graebel
17-Nov-2006, 11:50 AM
You could tell her about the fact that bats cause 90% of the human rabies cases in the US.:eek:

:p Of course, you'd never get her to shut up then.

CivilDefense
17-Nov-2006, 12:24 PM
You dont need a exterminator, you need a badminton racket.

Seriously, if they arent in your attic, bats can be a good thing.