How come this place is so slow?

[capncnut]

What's up with this site? Every time I go into a thread (okay not EVERY time but it does happen often), it takes about half a minute to view the page, which can be mildy irritating. I know it ain't my PC 'cos I've been on another site for the last couple of hours with no trouble whatsoever. I remember somebody posting about this a while back and I never saw the reply. What's going on here? :mad:

[MinionZombie]

It happens from time to time, right now the forum is working fine and dandy for me, but I have had times like you're describing when it just takes so friggin' long. Sometimes it just happens, it soon passes though.

[capncnut]

Cool, it was just so slow and frustrating this morning that I had to call it out. Cheers bro.

[Danny]

im guessing a lot of people on the forum at once ,y'know bandwidth and all that, a aint got too much computer edu-ma-cation-in' so its just a guess. a hyuk:D

[Neil]

I've found recently (eg: last two weeks) it's been particularly good...

[capncnut]

Well it seems to have packed up for now but when it gets slow, damn it's slooow. :confused:

[MinionZombie]

It's been fine for me of late as well, perhaps an ickle bit slow t'other night, but I think it was the internet in general for me...

[Eyebiter]

Time to reboot the server.

[Danny]

try going into the control panel and dumping the cookies that usually speeds it up.

[Neil]

No... the site/server is VERY slow at the moment :dead:

[HLS]

I have a lot of issues with this site being slow to the extreme. And it is on all PC's that I use not just my home. Ya its a tad slow today but at least I am not getting the dreaded "page can not be displayed" over and over like I did a few days ago.

[Danny]

on the topic of stuff like this are there any other aol users on here?, adn can theyg et onto www.allthingszombie.com cus it just stopped working on aol, but works in firefox or internet explorer *shrugs* wierd i know.

[MinionZombie]

Aye the forum was running slow for me as well earlier, so I gave up and watched some porn instead...then Top Gear...which is another kind of porn. :D

[Neil]

All fixed now...

[Danny]

Aye the forum was running slow for me as well earlier, so I gave up and watched some porn instead...then Top Gear...which is another kind of porn. :D

do you have some kind of fetish for short blokes and baked potatoes in jackets with jerry curls?:p

[capncnut]

Yesterday was the slowest it has ever been for me, truly awful. Glad it's all been ironed out.


Aye the forum was running slow for me as well earlier, so I gave up and watched some porn instead...then Top Gear...which is another kind of porn. :D

Shhh. Some fit birds might be reading. :lol:

[MinionZombie]

Capn - meh, gimme some poon and I'll put down the porn. :lol::elol:

Yesterday's slow down wasn't the worst I've experienced, it was slow at loading the details, but it wasn't as slow as I've had it before - when it flat out can't load anything and you just get total error messages.

[capncnut]

Capn - meh, gimme some poon and I'll put down the porn. :lol:

C'mon MZ, you're Scottish! Get yer ass up to Glasgow for a holiday. The last time I went up there, I hung me cock out for a piss up a bank machine in Saucihall Street and I had to fight off six mouths from trying to nosh me there and then. :lol:

I love dem Glaswegian women. :D

[capncnut]

All fixed now...

No it ain't mate. This place has been a NIGHTMARE to navigate this morning. :confused:

[MinionZombie]

Geeeeeezus the forum is slow right now, it's worse than being punched in the balls.

Come on VBB, pull a finger out your socket and get wide on your bandwidth or something...:mad:

Yes, I always get this arsy when a computer pisses me off.

[capncnut]

Well I never, isn't HPotD speedy today... NOT! :D

[Neil]

Well I never, isn't HPotD speedy today... NOT! :D

Fine for me... IS!

[capncnut]

As per usual, it sorts itself out after 30 mins or so but at 13.00 it took me 3 attempts to get in.

[LouCipherr]

Just out of curiosity, is the server for HpotD "across the pond" as we from the USA like to say? If so, that might be a reason for some slight lag (which I experience from time to time too).

I can say, however, that most of the time HPotD is a tad slower than other sites I visit, but not enough to frustrate me. It is what it is, and I deal with it... for now. :lol:

When can we get HPotD hard-wired directly into our brainstem? :D

LC

[capncnut]

Well I'm not complaining today 'cos it's been real zippy.

[Danny]

actually,yeah it has been a fair bit faster today.

[capncnut]

Yes in terms of zip, it does appear this forum has had a shower, shave, cup of coffee and a cigarette. :D

[Danny]

i would have said "shower,**** an-a shave" but yeah i know what you mean, though my whole connection screwed up earlier ,god knows why.:skull:

[MinionZombie]

Connections just randomly screw up sometimes, my connection screwed up t'other day and just refused to connect, but then after about 20 minutes of swearing and flapping my arms in front of the monitor, it connected.

I guess VBB has days when it goes slow ... the forum's "lady's days" I guess, lol ...

[capncnut]

This morning... slow, slow, SLOW!!!

[Neil]

This morning... slow, slow, SLOW!!!There were server problems about 48hrs ago... But seems OK at the moment...

[capncnut]

Just had a blip a sec ago, couldn't do anything for a couple of mins. No biggie. :D

[MinionZombie]

I had a sh*t time about half an hour ago when I first tried to get on here, but it cleared itself up within a minute...musta been the tail end of something.

[Neil]

Well, out of interest, do post here any issues you hit!

[capncnut]

Working fine and dandy tonight, as is usual with the infamous HPotD Jekyll and Hyde syndrome. :D

[HLS]

I usually have a lot of issues here but for the past week or two the site seems to be running better than usual

[capncnut]

I've had a few things occur in the last couple of days; entry problems, the odd slow spell. Damn thing froze up on me completely while posting a poll the other day. But for the most part, it's running better than usual. :D:p

[MinionZombie]

Running alright for me, last couple of mornings when I first came on the board (spare me the quip :bored:) it ran really slow and the windows weren't loading right, but after about a minute or two or sitting there like a dumbfounded nob, it kicked in, at first loading the elements slowly - like it had to remember them all again or something...weirdness.

Nothing like that today though.

*edit*

Having just said that, it's just had a splurdge of running like:

A) A load of old penis
B) A hard turd coming out of a dry butt

Take your pick. :rockbrow:

Grrrrr!!! Gheay little hiccups in performance! :grumpy bastard moany:

[capncnut]

The thing with HPotD's glitches are that they always come at the F**KING WORST TIME EVER!!! Mid-way through a post or logging in. :confused:

[MinionZombie]

The thing with HPotD's glitches are that they always come at the F**KING WORST TIME EVER!!! Mid-way through a post or logging in. :confused:
I know, the annoyances always come at the wrong time, like when you've got a shedload of email notifications to check through, or you've not got much time left to be sat on the net, or you've just clicked 'post reply' or something. :mad: It's never a slight slow down, it's always a complete shut down as well. GRRR!

[capncnut]

And I thought it was just me...

[MinionZombie]

Nope, I get glitches/bugger ups every now and then. It's much better now than it was this time last year, when it was such a pain in the arse on a much more frequent basis.

[Danny]

ive been having lots of trouble this week like every two or three clicks im getting a gateway error or some new one about a program not connecting, and its not my aol since its only this site.:rockbrow:

[capncnut]

Anyone getting the Database Error flash?

[Danny]

actually i think ive only gotten that once or twice, that said ive bene a member here now for about a year and ive never sene it before, even during that time a few months back when it was an error every 1 out of 2 pages.

[capncnut]

Had it twice today but I just hit the back icon and tried again (successfully). Man, I'd hate to be the poor schmuck in charge of ironing out this site. There must be a s**tload of work to do. <brain collapses> :dead:

[Danny]

i made thread earlier about a zombie zilm i foudn to watch online and it did that and it was jsut as i was psoting it and it cancelled it ,took ages to refresh and crashed my browser whilst doing so so i lost my net history too, and the movei in the process.:mad:

[capncnut]

Bummer. :(

[MinionZombie]

Been sailing smooth as f*cking silk for me today, chaps. :)

[capncnut]

Wish I could say the same thing, proper Matrix-style slowness today. Each thread is taking maybe 15-30 seconds to appear and it's annoying the f**k out of me. :mad:

[MinionZombie]

Now this is strange, some people get affected at different times to others, so it's not a global problem - sometimes there are problems when everyone is locked out by delays, but most other times it seems to just be for a couple of people. :confused:

[capncnut]

Well check this out, I just had a major slowdown and now some errors have appeared. Check out ukzombies Night 68 thread on Dead Discussion. Minerva is listed as the last person to post when clearly I was. There's some weird stuff going on here. :confused:

It's picked up a bit since mind.

[MinionZombie]

Some threads don't work for me.

Like the "post a funny youtube video" thread, I also cannot access those retarded one word/three word threads. No idea what's causing that shiite though.

[capncnut]

I have no trouble accessing any threads persay, just takes a f**king eon that's all.

[MinionZombie]

Hmmm ... I get both you see, some threads I can't access at all, some not properly (usually it's only the ones that get really big), but the more common occurrence was like last night, which hadn't happened in a while actually, when it takes so friggin' long to load.

[capncnut]

Heard that. :sneaky:

[MinionZombie]

Not really to do with this, but I hate it when my computer freezes when I'm on HPOTD, then I click a bunch of email notifications to bring up at least 3 windows that I process through, but forget I'm now logged out, so I have to log in again and then refresh pages. Just a standard measure I'm sure, but I personally find it annoying as I get computer freezes fairly often (on the laptop because it's usually doing LOTS of stuff, on the family desktop because it's coming to the end of it's life and can't really fathom broadband internet) :confused::shifty:

[capncnut]

When I woke up this morning and logged on, I had two freezes; 1.) As I browsed the shoutbox it was still 'loading' - it never did and the whole thing had frozen up :mad:. 2.) As I posted in Dead Discussion, I came out of the post set up and it said there was a 'duplicate' - there was not - and that the 'forum takes 30 seconds between posts'. Everytime I hit the re-direction link, it just wouldn't take me there. Took me about 5 minutes to get out of that one.

[capncnut]

Was the site down yesterday afternoon? I couldn't get in whatsoever. :confused:

[MinionZombie]

The past few days I've found it slow loading when I first went on, like the images of the site taking a long time to load, but once they all eventually load, the forum is back to normal. :confused:

[HLS]

I been getting the page can not be displayed constantly today and some yesterday and the shout box does not work i have to type the same thing 3 times to work grrrr :mad:

[MinionZombie]

I had trouble yesterday with pages not loading, just a white page.

Today coming on for the first time in the day it took ages to load fully, after it gets over that hurdle it's back to normal - this happens quite often to me now. :confused:

[capncnut]

Temporarily closed until 9am? Bwaahaaa, it was still closed at 10.

[MinionZombie]

Temporarily closed until 9am? Bwaahaaa, it was still closed at 10.
It's a good thing the clocks changed then, cos I slept in till 11:20am (to me it was still 10:20am), so I missed any downtime, ROFLHPOTDADDICT. :p

[DjfunkmasterG]

I will say the switch to this server blows. When HPotD first came to this VBB style it was fine, but lately it lags like a mutherhumper. In the last few weeks it has been on and off slow with some days being really freakin' bad.

Maybe it is time we all get together and go visit Neil's hosting company.

[capncnut]

It was bad for me like 10 minutes ago but it soon slipped back into cruise control. All this 'cannot view page' crap is getting me down though 'cos it happens a few times a day. :mad:

[capncnut]

'Cannot display the page', what is this? Every day man. <cries>

[MinionZombie]

Hmmm ... generally alright for me of late, just slow sometimes at loading the images when I first sign on (that happened just now, but it's all cleared up again).

[capncnut]

Man, it happens at least 2-3 times a day when I'm on here. It doesn't really do any harm but it's just a pain in the ass when you try to post a message and that flashes up. You generally have to wait between 10 and 30 seconds before you can post again.

[DjfunkmasterG]

It is horrible today. It took the entire forum 2 minutes to load for me. (yes i timed it) Then click on the link to the GD forum 70 seconds to load up. Click Deadlands forum (nearly 3 minutes before it completely loaded.)

For all that is holy and sacred, please fix it. It is getting really bad and annoying, much like my constant whining on the subject. :D

[Neil]

Been OK for me!

[capncnut]

Aren't you the lucky bunny, it just took me 15 minutes to get back in! As I type this, the smiley lists are completely blank.

[Neil]

Aren't you the lucky bunny, it just took me 15 minutes to get back in! As I type this, the smiley lists are completely blank.

Sometimes ISPs and general network issues are to blame for slow performance... Especially when others seem OK!? That's not to say the server isn't slow at times!

[deadpunk]

<---has never ever had a problem :D

[Yorkie]

I keep getting the page can't be displayed thing which is very annoying :(

[capncnut]

I know frustrating innit? :mad:

[Yorkie]

Yep it is for some reason it doesn't happen all the time though just for a few mins then its okay for a while then bam there it goes again :(

[capncnut]

For some reason, the f**k up's here seem totally sporadic. It can be working absolutely a-ok then the next minute it's like trying to do The Krypton Factor with a pair of lead boots on. The two things that bug me the most are the 'Cannot See Page' messages (although they don't really do any harm) and when it gets so slow, you have turn to log out because it's pointless to even browse. That happened to me yesterday (and Deej by the sound of it) and it's an absolute nightmare. Took me over 15 minutes to get in! :mad:

At the end of the day, HPotD is a decent site so you forgive these slowdowns and f**k up's. It's just a pain in the ass to keep on experiencing them, that's all. Seems fine today btw. :)

[MinionZombie]

When I logged on a few minutes ago it was slow loading initially, but after about 1 minute it was loading properly and now is running as normal. This is the most common problem I experience ... very odd.

[Eyebiter]

It's really bad today. Users keep getting booted from chat. Site freezes up repeatedly. Time to reboot the server?

[capncnut]

I witnessed that happening a few times last night in chat.

[MinionZombie]

Hmmm ... all running completely tickity-boo for me right now...:confused:

[capncnut]

Okay folks I got a new pair of f**k up's to add to the list.

Firstly, sometimes the posts don't show dollar signs, If you go into this post then you will see that the signs don;t show on the words P$3 or $ony.

Also, I'm getting the 'forum requires 30 seconds between posts' message even though it has been whole minutes between my posts. Happens 80% of the time and works on the third attempt every time regardless of the half minute rule.

[Neil]

Okay folks I got a new pair of f**k up's to add to the list.

Firstly, sometimes the posts don't show dollar signs, If you go into this post then you will see that the signs don;t show on the words Ps3 or Sony.

Also, I'm getting the 'forum requires 30 seconds between posts' message even though it has been whole minutes between my posts. Happens 80% of the time and works on the third attempt every time regardless of the half minute rule.

Posts sometimes don't show $$$$$$$ signs/symbols? Never heard that before!

[MinionZombie]

Posts sometimes don't show $$$$$$$ signs/symbols? Never heard that before!
Aye, that one's got my scratching my noggin...

$$$

Sony

Ps3

Micro$oft

...

I just did a dollar sign in "Sony" and "PS3" and neither came up - but the dollar sign in Micro$oft came up. :rockbrow:

[Andy]

That one was me i changed the filter to annoy the anti-sony group on here :p

[MinionZombie]

That one was me i changed the filter to annoy the anti-sony group on here :p
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. :|

[capncnut]

Firstly how lame and childish is that?

Secondly No P(dollar sign)3 but Micro$oft is allowed, that's console racism. You are likely to attract more (dollar sign)ony haters with this, remove it immediately.

Looks like were gonna have to be more creative with P(dollar sign)3 cusses. I think we should step it up until the dollar signs are re-instated. :D

What has this forum descended into?

[MinionZombie]

P$3 ... P££3 (double coinage there cos it's so much more expensive in the UK cos we get screwed over all the time with that shiite - and yes I know it's cos of Tax or whatever, GEEEEEZ!)

Suck your money Out your Numb butt, Yo!

:rolleyes:

Laaaaaame.

[Eyebiter]

Better check the multiple post auto merge function, wasn't working earlier.

[capncnut]

Suck your money Out your Numb butt, Yo!
$ucks Off Nintendo Yearly! :D

Anyhoo, back to the topic at hand...

[Andy]

Better check the multiple post auto merge function, wasn't working earlier.


Testing

Testing 2

Working fine for me :)

[capncnut]

Righty ho, sorry if I sound like a neverending whine merchant (wine maybe :sneaky:) but I've just discovered another problem. I'm encountering freeze-up's which generally occur a minute or two after initially signing in and the only remedy is to come out of HPotD entirely and re-enter. I just thought I should let you guys know 'cos it has happened to me twice now in four days. Anyone else experiencing this?

[MinionZombie]

Never heard of that one.

I get non-loading pages (where it's just white) or 'nyah, couldn't do it' type situations more often these days...:(

[capncnut]

Okay, I got one for ya MZ. Games Forum, 'Finally A Release Date!' thread, you posted in there six hours ago...

...but where's the post gone to? :confused:

[deadpunk]

I have a better one...why did I get notification for this thread, but it stated it was for another thread?

Good luck figuring that one out there boys...

[MinionZombie]

You mean the one I posted (now) 10 hours ago? Just been there, clicked it and saw it mate.

First time I posted it the page didn't load, so I lost my original post, so I clicked "back" and re-wrote it, then it posted ... I'm looking at it now.

As for not being able to see posts, I had quite a long stint of not being able to see any new posts in the 'funny youtube video' thread, but then recently I was able to see new posts again ... now that's some weird poo right there...

update...

The forum is running the absolute slowest I've ever had it, it literally took more than 5 minutes to partially load a page, and even then the images weren't loaded (just those little boxes that pre-exist a loaded image).

Then the "forum jump" feature wasn't working, probably as a side effect of that...mate, it's doing my nut in, to the point where my lefty is actually a little raw. :lol:

[capncnut]

The forum is running the absolute slowest I've ever had it, it literally took more than 5 minutes to partially load a page, and even then the images weren't loaded (just those little boxes that pre-exist a loaded image).
Man, I might've disagreed with that until today. At the moment, it is nightmarishly slow, one of the slowest it's ever been.

[Neil]

Man, I might've disagreed with that until today. At the moment, it is nightmarishly slow, one of the slowest it's ever been.

I've been off and on all evening and had no problems...

[capncnut]

I think this thing must be affecting us at different times. :rockbrow:

Every now and then it's like when I've encountered a problem, a few hours later it's happened to MZ (or something similar). Or when he prattles on about "f**king slow, WTF? :mad:", I know what he's prattling on about 'cos it happened to me the night before etc. :D

[Neil]

OK - There was a 2hr or so glitch with the server just then!

The server is still recovering as well! So expect some more hiccups over the coming few hours!

[MinionZombie]

So that's what was wrong this morning, christ it was slow/non-moving. I was barely able to load a page, and when I tried to post it just conked out (connection reset thingy) ... pissed me right off, haha.

Seems okay at the moment though ... *rubs some wood*

[capncnut]

You see. :D

[MinionZombie]

Gheay, I'm subscribed to this thread, but I'm not getting email notifications about it anymore, but I was recently ... now that's a nut scratcher ... *ponders* ... where the hell did chavs come from anyway?

Woops, IAZM flashback...:p

[capncnut]

Gotta say, been running pretty f**kin' tip top lately.

[MinionZombie]

Gotta say, been running pretty f**kin' tip top lately.
Same here, haven't had any badness, at most a momentary wait for the pages to start loading up, nothing more than about 30 seconds, on occasion.

Otherwise, it's been nice...real nice...the kinda nice that should be wearing a pencil-thin tash and wiggling a fag in a fag holder in it's mouth like Esteban in Kill Bill 2..."da-poosi-di..." :lol:

[capncnut]

I've had one or two little glitches here and there but for the most part, it has been pretty nifty. Very surprised as that's rarer than rocking horse s**t. :D

[Danny]

i have em every bloody day every 2 clicks i get an error 404 message or something like it, then when i click refresh of back i get "internal server error" so i have to restart the browser to review the site:bored:

[capncnut]

Me and my big mouth. :rolleyes:

WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON?

a. Everybody in chat got booted about an hour ago and collectively, none of us were able to get back in for a few minutes.

b. I just got booted while posting a long old post (which is now lost) and it just took me the best part of 5 minutes to get back in. All the while my PC has been workin' it's ass off to get back online (the sounds were amazing).

c. 10 minues later, it's still taking me half a minute to navigate posts!

GRRR!!! :mad:


But I still love this s**thole. :D

[MinionZombie]

You should do what I do, select all the text, CTRL+C to copy it just in case, it's saved my butt several times before.

[MinionZombie]

*ug*

Major slow loading day today, all the elements of the page are taking AGES to load, especially the images. Doing my balls in...

[Danny]

maybe thats all the rubbing you did waiting for your 360 perv boy:p

[capncnut]

First day back in a week and everything is running nice and nippy.

[capncnut]

Here's a little list. :sneaky:

2 lengthy posts lost in the space of half hour that had to be re-typed
Pages takin' up to a whole minute to change
PC froze 3 times (even the refresh button's not happy)
More error messages than Gary Glitter's laptop

And I'm not the only HPotD member who's experiencing this right now. Sorry to sound cheeky but c'mon, what's the crack? Who's gonna give me back my lost half-hour? :rockbrow:

Edit: 52 seconds this message took to post!

[Neil]

Here's a little list. :sneaky:

2 lengthy posts lost in the space of half hour that had to be re-typed
Pages takin' up to a whole minute to change
PC froze 3 times (even the refresh button's not happy)
More error messages than Gary Glitter's laptop

And I'm not the only HPotD member who's experiencing this right now. Sorry to sound cheeky but c'mon, what's the crack? Who's gonna give me back my lost half-hour? :rockbrow:

Edit: 52 seconds this message took to post!

No problems here (at the moment)!?

EDIT: This reply took 1 second.

[MinionZombie]

Been all over, up and down for me, not at all consistent.

Sometimes fine, sometimes a load of wank.

I get a lot of "connection reset" pages, which does my nuts in (I always copy all the text before I post just in case there's a bugger up, have done for ages). Quite often pages can take pissing ages to load, absolutely ages, other times there's absolutely no response.

Other times, it can run perfectly fine. :confused:

What's up, yo?

[Neil]

Been all over, up and down for me, not at all consistent.

Sometimes fine, sometimes a load of wank.

I get a lot of "connection reset" pages, which does my nuts in (I always copy all the text before I post just in case there's a bugger up, have done for ages). Quite often pages can take pissing ages to load, absolutely ages, other times there's absolutely no response.

Other times, it can run perfectly fine. :confused:

What's up, yo?

Over what time frame has this been happening? Last X hours?

[MinionZombie]

Last couple of weeks actually.

Prior to that it had a period of being perfectly fine, before that it was so-so, before that fine...

Kinda switches from being fine to being temperamental...really odd. :confused: So I'm currently in a temperamental time with the forum...hmmm.

[Andy]

Have to admit cheif, i have been getting alot of "Internal Server Errors" tonight and not been able to log in.

[capncnut]

Have to admit cheif, i have been getting alot of "Internal Server Errors" tonight and not been able to log in.
Indeed, add that the list. Another one I'm experiencing as of late are new posts not being highlighted. The other day I logged in and there were 100-something new replies/threads, so I go to new posts and there was nothing to view. When I backtracked to forums home - 0 new posts! WTF?

That meant, I had to find them all by ploughing through the forums individually, not a pleasure cruise let me tell you. That's a semi-regular occurrance now.

[MinionZombie]

That sometimes happens to me, a glitch perhaps with the new posts thing, or if you've been on the forum for a period of time, but been inactive, then that changes.

It's happened to me many-a-time, all the things are highlighted white so I know exactly where new sh*t is, but when it all goes normal again, gah! Pain in the bum-bum.

[capncnut]

Anyone feeling the 'okay for 10 mins, bad for 10 mins' vibes here? Last 24 hours it's been proper intermittent. :rockbrow:

[MinionZombie]

Anyone feeling the 'okay for 10 mins, bad for 10 mins' vibes here? Last 24 hours it's been proper intermittent. :rockbrow:
Ah mate, intermittent this morning/avo for me too. Now it seems boshy as fook, which is all good, but yeah earlier you could manage to view/post in about 3 or 4 threads and then it'd seize up completely.

Very odd and/or annoying...seems cosy now.

[capncnut]

Yeah, I agree. It's running more tip top that it has been for the last week or so right now. Still getting the odd 20 second page change but it seems to be pippering out nicely. :D