SWEET ****ING ZOMBIE JESUS! ~or "a short rant about junk mail"

[Danny]

everyone gets junk mail occasionally, i rarely do but man, when i do its a winner, this is one particular gem ive recieved 3 times with the exact same story with different names.

some woman has had her husband murdered in a white farm thing in africa, now she has been forced to move with the her 31 year old son as immigrints to south africa and they are homeles (yet somehow they have access to a word processor and the net:rolleyes:
then "she" proceeds to tell me her son is "retarded", in those exact words, and that luckily her husband has sold all his farming equipment ,totalling up to 8 million u.s dollars, the day before he died, but wouldnt you just know it becuase there now immigrints in south africa she cant get at the money, once again dropping in the homeless and retarded son thing a couple more times.

so here it comes, "if only we could gain access to your bank account to make a transaction we would gladly leave 5% in your acount, please send your details to us...no address so i think its just a return address sort of thing.

and on the last line, "i also am dieing of breast cancer".

mother****ers.

who would honestly fall for this **** and how are these guys in "south africa" getting MY address to begin with, i mean 3 times with the exact same story to the letter but with 3 different names.

what a world we live in guys:rolleyes:

[MinionZombie]

People that fall for that sh*t almost deserve to have their bank accounts raped, I mean geeeezus-titty-f*cking-christ! :eek:

[HLS]

I get those emails all the time. I heard of one old man lost all his retirement savings. What you need to look for is people using yahoo messenger to try to get bank accounts.

I get these men IM'ing me claiming to be Americans in Africa on a contract job but you look at their profiles and the profile photos looks seriously fake. You can tell they are not British or American by the way they type, seriously bad sentence structure and their total unfamiliarity with American culture. They usually try to start a conversation with you by iming you a love poem. OH PLEASE! I decided to bull**** one of these people as a test and before I knew it he was asking for my bank account numbers.

Some male friends of mine get similar scams from women in Russia or something.

Majority of my spam is penis enlargement, penis rings and viagra adds:rolleyes: :eek:

[Danny]

i actually did a bitch blog all about my fugly self over this one.:lol:

u61s6YLukJ0

since then i got three messages about "free text messageing" and such, no junk mail and such for months and now loads at once, bladd'y 'ell!.


edit- yes, its a peter griffin t-shirt :lol:

[Maitreya]

Haha, I'd love to get a spam IM like that. I'd **** with that person so hard!

[MinionZombie]

It says the owner of the video doesn't allow embedding of the video, so it's gotta be watched on YouTube ... got an external link? :confused:

*sigh*

*pulls the retard out of his head and spots the "go to video page" link below the video* :lol:

*another sigh*

This computer is being a retard, will have to watch it on the other one. :rolleyes:

[Debbieangel]

I've got that one too I just "empty" or "delete" but it is soo annoying !!What is a shame is the people that buy into that BS!
What is sadder yet is there are people out there that have a really hard time of it that do need help and people like this ruin it for them that really could use the help, and it makes it hard to believe their story when they tell it because of jackasses like this!
OK, there now I am ranting LOL!!!

[HLS]

Haha, I'd love to get a spam IM like that. I'd **** with that person so hard!

I get them all the time. I will be minding my business and ill get a love letter via IM on yahoo about "love is eternal and has no bounds " and other mushy stuff streight up from a total stranger. lol I mean Jesus! I go check out the profile and the photo is always of a man far too hansome for words and looks as if it was cut out of a fashion magizine or play girl or whatever. The conversation is always the same. I am a wealthy business man "yada...yada..." and I would ask where do you work and the answer is always the same. I am in the oil business(usually) and I am working in South Aferica on business at the moment. lol I like to **** with them sometimes. Cheap internet entertainment but if you play along they always ask for your bank account numbers. Real pathetic. I get love letters from those people on myspace.com page. Aparently many people report them for the accounts are always quickly deleted from myspace.com.

[slickwilly13]

*L* Can't trust them Africans, especially Nigerians. I personally know some people from there and it is a very crooked place. If it is not armed soldiers kidnapping enigineers from oil rigs for ransom then it is internet scams. I knew this girl who got lured to Nigeria last year for a modeling gig. To make a long story short she was taken against her will for ransom and never heard from again. Maybe sold to a sex ring. Who knows.

[capncnut]

It must be totally insulting to recieve mail like that because it is obviously aimed at the 'lesser minded' individual. Who the hell is gonna fall for that load of ol' bollocks? Like the longhair said in the video ;), what are you gonna do? Hand over yer pin number and bank details? I think it must be some sort of joke to be quite honest.

[kortick]

here is one for you

you may have heard this
i dealt with this guy
cuz i work at a casino

talk about how people can be stupid

this guys line is the same

he goes to a casino and picks an old couple
and tells them that his refrigerated lobster truck
is broken and he cant afford a tow
and if he cant get the lobsters to the restaurant
they will die and he will lose all the money
so if they will "lend" him anywhrer from $300-500
he can tow the truck to the place and get paid
then he will repay them with interest and throw in a bunch
of 3 lb lobsters too

so many people gave him money he was wanted
in 3 states
these people actually went to the atm and gave him the money

he came to the place where I work but
we had pics of him supplied by the state police
and we were aware of his rap

he left before he could get nabbed
but was picked up soon after

so believe it or not
people actaully fall for these things

[slickwilly13]

It very low when crooks prey on good-hearted people who would give the shirts off their back to a stranger. These people need to be ran over by a truck.

[Danny]

It must be totally insulting to recieve mail like that because it is obviously aimed at the 'lesser minded' individual. Who the hell is gonna fall for that load of ol' bollocks? Like the longhair said in the video ;), what are you gonna do? Hand over yer pin number and bank details? I think it must be some sort of joke to be quite honest.

you do know that was me right?:lol:

and i should point out this wasnt one of those email ones this actually came in the mail, printed off a pc, but its happened like 3 times ,actual letters asking me for the same damn thing, bloody con artists, i told my friend's yesterday and they didnt beleive me, they thought i was taking the piss till i read it to em.

[capncnut]

you do know that was me right?:lol:

Course I did. I was just pulling ya leg. :D

[MinionZombie]

It's always funny to finally get to see what someone looks like, not funny as in "ha, you mong!", not at all, what I mean is that sense of "ah", cos although you never have an image in your head of what someone looks like, you're always kinda surprised for some reason...hehe.

Could this be a regular 'thing', Hellsing's vlog-o-gripe-o-the-week? :D

[Tricky]

Ive had that one several times,worded slightly different each time :lol: i even had one from a "US marine" who had stolen a load of iraqi gold & needed to rest the money in my account & would guarantee me a nice percentage of it once everything had been sorted out.I reckon the nigerian kak pipe cosmonaut had been watching 3 kings beforehand :lol:

[Dawg]

*L* Can't trust them Africans, especially Nigerians. I personally know some people from there and it is a very crooked place. If it is not armed soldiers kidnapping enigineers from oil rigs for ransom then it is internet scams. I knew this girl who got lured to Nigeria last year for a modeling gig. To make a long story short she was taken against her will for ransom and never heard from again. Maybe sold to a sex ring. Who knows.

How did you find out that she was lured to Nigeria for a modeling gig? Did she tell you or someone you know about it and if so, why didn't anyone tell her that will be most unwise to protake in?

That is scary as hell to even think about.

I don't know about you, but my @$$ is staying safe and sound in the US of A, even though there are some serious $hit that goes down here as well, but you gotta be pretty smart about it, like not going out at certain times in certain neighborhoods for instance. (Besides, I don't think I would look too fitching in a thong bikini!)

Quoting Chevy Chase from National Lampoon's Vacation, "Roll 'em up!"

:dead: Dawg

[slickwilly13]

To answer your question, I met this model at a dance club in Houston. We hit it off pretty well and exchanged numbers. The whole friends with benefits things. One day she calls me up on my cell and tell me that she was currently in Nigeria. Some asshole lured her down there for a big model gig, so she was told. She jumps in without checking the thing out. Stupid move. She tells me that the guy tried to take her against her will. She apparently got away and was staying at some hotel. But was stranded. And she need money to get back. Well, I couldn't help her with that and was suspicious about the story. I talked to some people I knew who were from that country. They told me about 2 U.S. embassies she could go to and they would help her get back. I told her about the embassies and that I would be contacting them. She went nuts and starting talking crazy sh!t. And demanded money only. I knew then that something wasn't right. It was her chance to get back home, but she refused to go to any embassy. I figured she was either trying to rip me off or was being held for ransom.

[capncnut]

FROM MISS ALICE JENNY KANGA.
ABIDJAN.IVORY COAST.
COTE D'IVOIRE.

APPEAL FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE.

Dear Guardian,

Good day to you over there,please permit me to inform you of my desire of going into this business relationship with you.Though this letter may come to you as suprise, since you dont know me personally before, but please kindly open your mind to help me and treat me like your own blood relation, it is by the grace of God that I found your contact recently, because it has been very difficult for me to find a sincere person to entrust on this urgent request transaction and to help me out of my affliction today,

I am MISS ALICE JENNY KANGA, the only daughter of late Mr. And Mrs. FRANCIS KANGA. My father was a very wealth Cocao & Gold Merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory Coast, My father was attacked by unknown assassins during the political war crisis that going on our country here Abidjan, Ivory Coast. My mother died when I was a baby when she was about to delivers a new baby and since then my father took me so special. Before the death of my father on november 2004 in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of twelve Million,Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars. USD ($12.500,000) left in one of the private security/finances trust services house here in Abidjan Ivory Coast, as a family valuables for security reason that he used my names her only daughter for the next of kin in depositing of the fund.

However That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as real estate management or hotel management.

Sir/Ma, I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards again. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. Now permit me to ask these few questions:

(1)Can you help me for the retrievements of this fund on my behalf in the security custody here and to help me to provide a bank account in which this fund would be transferred into?

(2)Can you stand as a guardian of this fund since I am only 22 years old?

(3)Can you make an arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my Education and to secure a resident permit in your country?

(4) Can you honestly take me as your own and help me?

(5) Can I completely trust you?

(6) What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your account?

Please,Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible. My life is not safe here and I need to be out of here as soon as possible, because since thereafter the death of my father all my uncles here are always after my life, been I am only daugther and the next of kin to all the properties then they start jealous of me and my presence here still be disturbing them and I stayed with one of my childhood friends here due to lack of security to my life. That is the reason I quickly have this my contact with you, I want to leave here as soon as you assist me to transfer out this said fund into any of your safe bank account in your stable country and then send me some amount to enable me prepare to meet with you for me to resides finally, finish my study and invest the money with you by your own permission and directives. without your assistance I will find it difficult to transfer the said funds myself alone without quardian and with my little experience.Please kindly let me know your plan for me and also let me know how best you can do to assist me out. Hopefully to hear from you ASAP?
Best Regards,

Your respectful one,

Miss Alice Kanga.
:lol:

[Debbieangel]

:lol:

Hurry Capn you must help this poor girl!!! oooh plezzzzz!!!!
Its sad that some poor joker will fall for this I dont even open these emails to see what they are about....if I dont know the person I delete the email so, I dont get any viruses.:)

[Danny]

It's always funny to finally get to see what someone looks like, not funny as in "ha, you mong!", not at all, what I mean is that sense of "ah", cos although you never have an image in your head of what someone looks like, you're always kinda surprised for some reason...hehe.

Could this be a regular 'thing', Hellsing's vlog-o-gripe-o-the-week? :D

actually, this post just reminded me ,i DID start a blog on blogger and forgot the password, i think i may restart that bitch up to ....er bitch about stuff.
ill have to bite my lip on most of it though or thered be like 4 pages of just flaming uwe boll:moon:

http://theundergroundslacker.blogspot.com/

-oh hope you dont mind i added a link on the links thing to your site mz, cus i directed a freind to it and he said he couldnt find it on google, so hey, one more place for people to find a link to it:)

[DVW5150]

:lol:

I get this crap too ... to collect cash deposits for textile companies in other countries . Geez , its sooo stupid .:elol:

[MinionZombie]

No probs buddy, though it is spelt "Thomson" ... yes, like the phone directory :lol: ... (little, yet massive, in-joke to my FaceBook profile there, ha!).

I was thinking of getting a kinda blog thing going for DeadShed, rather than just doing that list of dates thing I do at the moment.

Speaking of which, I've really gotta update my site sometime soon, I'm so f*cking slack with it sometimes...

[Danny]

hey i havent done **** other than a poor rough of a front page yet, so you got me beat.:lol:

http://www.geocities.com/underground_slacker/

though i havent got any serious filming done since like october since its been either wet or snowing all the time since then over my way so there aint much incentive to sort it out yet, y'know?

[MinionZombie]

Persist, muddle through and adapt to circumstance ... plus determination and realistic goals, that's all gonna help a young filmmaker out... ...I'm getting geared up for a talk I'll be doing at the local Sixth Form College to young'uns looking to tread the path I've tread/treading, get some practice in. :p

[Danny]

funny story i should mention, after waching mega 64 i was inspired to do some hidden camera stuff , the best was two of my friends in a proper old gents pub dressed like full on flame throwers, hot pants, old 80's t shirts ,the works and they were acting so camp and holding hand sand going to the bathroom together, i was pissin' myself laughing at the old guys faces, thats dvd extra material right thar':lol:

[MinionZombie]

Dude, I must see that footage, that sounds hilarious! :D

We did a bit of hidden camera stuff back at uni when folk were coming around viewing our house, I wrapped the camera in a scarf and set it amongst a load of junk (which covered the house anyway) and we were being so childish making bizarre gestures behind their backs and such ... we were hoping to catch them out somehow, but it wasn't as eventful as all that...lol.

One of my housemates wanted to do some hidden camera sh*t in town, but he wussed out and couldn't be arsed, lol.

[Danny]

i do have a lot fo footage like that, plenty of which seem to occur in the macdonalds drive thru, guess thats a dicomillo inspiration, i might put it together some time as a mini cky type thing, hell people are retarded anough to laugh at it right?

[MinionZombie]

If it's funny, people'll laugh. You should totally do a compilation type DVD of your footage, I did the same thing - I did a whole saga. Me and my Uni mates pratting about - The Uni Video Saga (around about 10 different videos, around about 3 spin-offs and 7 main ones :D:cool:)

[Danny]

thats a lot of videos:dead: