danny's 2 for a quid movie review

[Danny]

i just back from gamestation and bought 2 dvds from there 2 for a quid deal, which i highly recommend looking em up, so i thought id bitch about the two movies i got, which would be land of the dead ,direcotrs cut and a rental copy of freddy vs jason, i just finished watching em so there fresh im my mind, and who doesnt love a good review that'sbasically jsut one mans bitching abotun a movie, hell that pretty much aint it cool's entire angle.

freddy vs jason: i only got this cus i was there late in the day and it was either this or a steven seagal film, and i dont care if he's "here to save the world" his movies are atricious, so hence picking up fvj.
i never whent to see this in the cinema for two reasons, number one i was allwasy a halloween guy myself, number 2, i thought it was piece of crap mtv generation load of crap that would be an hour and a half of metal music and more dream killings. and dont get me wrong ,it is, but in a suprisingly good way.
bascially, since the last installment of the nightmare series made the rounds the people of the town erased freddy krueger from the towns records and there memory so without living in fear of him he cannot attack people in there dreams. so without fear freddy cant come back, but during his time in hell he discovered jason vorhess.....somehow, and in jasons dreams acted like his mother telling him to head to elm street and kill some kids ,make them think its him so he can gain power from there fear and return once more.
but ,of course, jason doesnt want to stop killing so thats were they turn on each other. que the metal music and a stabbing montage. :elol:
and of course theres a series of murders till the group of teens get whats going on and try to kill them, though theres some mythology thing they try to add in about freddy diying in fire and jason in water but its only vaguley played upon in any sort of form.
though to be honest i didnt expect to see a emotional roller coaster on the same level as brain dead :rolleyes:
whilst the story is nothing spectacular i was not bored for a second and i eally enjoyed it, if you go into this movie looking for a fun way to spend an half hour you'll really enjoy it, if your expecting something with...i guess the words integrity your looking in the wrong place.

id give it a 7/10

next up one i saw twice in the cinema and hadnt seen it since then and most people aint too big fans of it on here, someone on the forum even shambled in it, in talking about land of the dead.

land of the dead:i saw this a few times in the cinema but i was really put off that i read the script and there were a few choice scenes like the hanged man, that rocked on paper but werent in the film, and that really let it down for me in some way, which i guess just teaches you to never read the script first.
but for 50p ,and romeros cut i figured it was worth checking out one more time on DVD, so i did.
i dont think i really need to describe this plotline but for those whove lived under a rock since 2005 this is about a few years after dawn of the dead, aint too sure how it fits in with day myself, but does it really matter?, all you gotta know is that the dead have still been rising to feast on the living ,but like bub theyve gotten smarter and aint to happy with the riaders of fiddlers green killing them when they raid the ghost towns surrounding the green, while a battle occurs in the green as the low down public are shunned on the streets as the rich live in a skyscraper in the lap of luxury.
with trouble inside and out its only so long before it all breaks down and a bloodbath ensues.
i loved the opening , the sight of the zombies trying to regain there lives and live again in some sort of caricature of there previous lives and its typical george romero fair from the off "there pretending to be alive", "isnt that what were doing?, trying to be alive".
the script writing was great, i loved seeing the hanged man scene, though i would have loved to have seen the zombie rats, but compared to the amount of crap on the horror channel it as some top notch scripting, though its the editing were romero really shines adn certain shots like the camera panning as torchlight showing only minor glimpses at a much larger gory scene , since gore is often overdone romero seemed to give a good balance between gore and action and social commentary, it did drag a little however i enjoyed seeing the zombies play out in a new and interesting way, and i dont think big daddy was anywere near as bad as jarjar binks.
its an interesting film, that i wouldnt rank as high as shaun fo the dead but better than the dawn remake, cus 80's a team montages and jurassic park style hissing coming from the zombeis does not make a good zombie film.

ill give this 8/10 deifnatly worth checking out.

[DjfunkmasterG]

I think you're being to generous with both films.

FvJ 5 out of 10
LotD 1 out of 10 (maybe a 2)

[Danny]

trust me when you study film it doesnt mean you get to see a lot more good movies, more often than not just more obscure ones, most of which suck balls.
so its nice just to appreciate a film for being netertaining, easily one of my favouite freddy movies, i mean when he was in the fat boys video, that was kinda a sign they shouldve let him drop but he wasnt bad in this one.

[capncnut]

I think you're being to generous with both films.
I thought the same thing. Freddy Vs Jason I'd give about a 2 and Land gets a more than generous 5.

[coma]

trust me when you study film it doesnt mean you get to see a lot more good movies, more often than not just more obscure ones, most of which suck balls.
so its nice just to appreciate a film for being netertaining, easily one of my favouite freddy movies, i mean when he was in the fat boys video, that was kinda a sign they shouldve let him drop but he wasnt bad in this one.
I like Bergman and trufault and all that stuff. Bicycle theif.
You wanna be Scorsese or HG Lewis?

Though knowing exactly why something sucks is very important.

I had to write an essay on the Searchers, a John Wayne Movie. John Ford may be a great director but I friggin hate John wayne


Fat Boyyyyyys!
Brrr Stick em. Ha ha ha Stick em!
Woot Woot'

All the freddy movies suck. Jason may be stupid but he's at least not lame. (that barely makes sense)

[Danny]

no good sir that makes total sense, freddy sucks, simple as.

[MinionZombie]

Freddy VS Jason was 100% penis, Land I loved, so I'll give it a 7 or 8 out of 10.

[EvilNed]

Freddy vs. Jason was pretty ****ty, yeah. Land was great, tho.

[bassman]

I saw about 30-45 minutes worth of "Freddy Vs Jason" and that was only because a buddy and I were having a good time playing MST3K with it. The film looked like total crap. But like I said...I didn't see the whole thing.

Of course just about everyone here knows my stance on "Land of the Dead". Not as good as the originals, a good film on it's own, and way better than any zed movie in the last decade.

[Danny]

dude what about shaun, love it or hate it, y'cant say that was a bad zombie movie.

[MinionZombie]

dude what about shaun, love it or hate it, y'cant say that was a bad zombie movie.
Let's see ... Capn hates Shaun (still confused by that), otherwise I don't remember anyone else spitting SOTD's milky nipple out of their mouths in disgust...

[capncnut]

Shaun is immitation. Land is authentic. Nuff said. :D


Let's see ... Capn hates Shaun (still confused by that), otherwise I don't remember anyone else spitting SOTD's milky nipple out of their mouths in disgust.
I know loads of people that would be more than happy to tear the arse out of Shaun. Everyone prattles about how funny it is and that it's a 'classic comedy'. Other than the one word 'Cornetto', tell me what is so f**king funny about it? (Pesci moment)

It's like Spaced with zombies and I'm sorry, I thought Spaced had about as much charm as a Halitosis kiss. No offense. :D

[MinionZombie]

Spaced and Shaun were awesome, nuff said, among a myriad of reasons why they rock, they've got heart.

[bassman]

dude what about shaun, love it or hate it, y'cant say that was a bad zombie movie.

I guess I should've said it's the best straight up zed film. I love "Shaun", but I wouldn't rank it in with normal zed flicks. Just as my poster says....."It's a comedy......with zombies". Not the other way around.

Capn....you should have your head examined. "Shaun" and "Spaced" are friggin great. Americans are STILL waiting to see "Hot Fuzz".:confused: Everyone has their own opinion and all....but what the f*ck is wrong with you?

To quote the speed dating chick in "40 Year Old Virgin"....."Are you f*ckin retarded?!?!?":p

[MinionZombie]

lol ... Americans having to wait for Hot Fuzz? Ooooooh ... sick burn. :p

How's it feel having the shoe on the other foot ... or something to that effect? Now you know how us Brits feel waiting for 99% of films, for instance, Land of the Dead - aside from the countries than banned the film, Britain was the LAST place on the freakin' planet to get it ... can you believe that shiite? :eek:

Still, it meant that 3 weeks after seeing it on opening night I had the DVD in my grubby mits. :elol:

[bassman]

lol ... Americans having to wait for Hot Fuzz? Ooooooh ... sick burn. :p

How's it feel having the shoe on the other foot ... or something to that effect? Now you know how us Brits feel waiting for 99% of films, for instance, Land of the Dead - aside from the countries than banned the film, Britain was the LAST place on the freakin' planet to get it ... can you believe that shiite? :eek:

Still, it meant that 3 weeks after seeing it on opening night I had the DVD in my grubby mits. :elol:

I can't help it that you guys are on the low end of the movie producing industry. How many flicks come out of Britain in a year? 2, maybe 3? ooooohhh.....sick burn.:p

I don't know why we're having to wait so long for "Fuzz". If i'm not mistaken, we got "Shaun" only about 2 weeks after of you. I think there's still another month or so until it's released here.

[MinionZombie]

I don't know why we're having to wait so long for "Fuzz". If i'm not mistaken, we got "Shaun" only about 2 weeks after of you. I think there's still another month or so until it's released here.

lol, what are you smoking? We had it on DVD before it was released in cinemas in America, haha! SICK BURN BACK ATCHA! :p

We produce a couple more films than that, but blame Labour and other such wankers for making it really hard to make films in this country, bastards. Also, not everything we make is American friendly, as in, it'd probably be considered not that interesting for you lot...

And of course, some films take AGES to get over like, like The Descent.

[bassman]

Hrmm.....maybe I was thinking of the dvd release.:confused:

You guys aren't always behind with movies, though. I know some flicks open up world wide on the same day(give or take a day).

Usually that's the blockbuster flicks. I kow "Spiderman 3" and "POTC 3" are opening that way.

[coma]

We produce a couple more films than that, but blame Labour and other such wankers for making it really hard to make films in this country, bastards. Also, not everything we make is American friendly, as in, it'd probably be considered not that interesting for you lot...

What about the sparse film years when labour were not in power, like the 80s? Im not claiming to know anything about your gov system, but the UK has not ever been a movie making powerhouse as far as quantity. there is probably more at play than the party in power.

And Hot Fuzz was not that impressive. A total mehh film.

[MinionZombie]

British filmmaking has always been a hard fought thing, it's just that now we're producing films that get more global recognition - like Shaun and Hot Fuzz, or like Four Weddings & A Funeral or Notting Hill, those kind of films.

My memory is fuzzy on the specific details now, but essentially the Labour government has changed the tax laws and such, which has ended up causing a whole heap of trouble for the British film industry - that Johnny Depp movie "The Libertine" got into trouble because of it.

While there's plenty of media within our country for our country, the global distribution is much reduced, and then you get many times when British talent f*cks off to America and leaves us behind. :(

Bassman, yeah, the BIG blockbusters get released at about the same time, with the odd global date, but the vast majority of films come out months later in the UK, same for TV shows. Believe me, if the tables were turned and it was you guys waiting ages to get films and TV, you'd be bitching and taking full advantage of the few first-grab-chances (like Hot Fuzz) that you'd get. :p

[bassman]

Oh yeah, MZ. I'm not denying that it sucks for you. Just joshin around.

At least these days you have the power to see the movie if it's not released in your country. Hrm hrm.:shifty: I thought about doing so with "Hot Fuzz", but I would much rather experience it on the screen for the first time. And those guys(wright, pegg, frost) deserve every penny, so i'll give it to em.:)

[MinionZombie]

hehe, even though it's here in the UK, I still downloaded it, purely because I don't wanna be that sad billy no mates going to the cinema on their own, that's just a bit naff...but that happens when you're mates are spread out all over the country (or even world) after uni and such...

Anyway, Hot Fuzz is a blatant DVD purchase, guaranteed.

[capncnut]

Capn... you should have your head examined. "Shaun" and "Spaced" are friggin great. Americans are STILL waiting to see "Hot Fuzz".:confused: Everyone has their own opinion and all....but what the f*ck is wrong with you?
I got taste. I could ask you the same question technically. :rolleyes:


And Hot Fuzz was not that impressive. A total meh film.
This seems to be the general opinion of the movie, which is a shame. I had high hopes 'cos the trailer looked 20 times better than the whole Shaun movie to me.

[bassman]

hehe, even though it's here in the UK, I still downloaded it, purely because I don't wanna be that sad billy no mates going to the cinema on their own, that's just a bit naff...but that happens when you're mates are spread out all over the country (or even world) after uni and such...


That's my favorite way to see a flick in theater, man. I go by myself as much as I can. I prefer going alone rather than taking my buddies or girlfriend.


Capn, What kind of comedy do you like?:rockbrow:

[MinionZombie]

lol, I've always gotta be with someone at the cinema, I just look like a sad old numpty if I'm anywhere alone, haha! The cinema is a place best suited to couples, duos or groups...so that's the only time I go to the cinema, sometimes I'll cram in two films into a day to get the most bang for the day's buck. :D It's tiring though actually, spending the whole day at the cinema watching flicks...strange...

[capncnut]

Capn, What kind of comedy do you like?:rockbrow:
Mostly stand up as sitcoms rarely make me laugh. The best sitcom stuff was done in the 80's like Diff'rent Strokes, Taxi and Home Improvement. But they don't make me laugh out loud like stand up comics do.


lol, I've always gotta be with someone at the cinema, I just look like a sad old numpty if I'm anywhere alone, haha!
I'm the other way around. I hate going to the theater with someone 'cos they're always like: "Where's the bogs?" or "This movie is a pile of s**t!" I prefer to go to the cinema alone and if someone has to come then it's one only. Any more than that and I class it as a night out drinking, 'cos that's what we mostly end up doing.

[MinionZombie]

Home Improvement is F*CKING LUSH! I love that show (catch repeats on ABC1 whenever I can), that show was great, *does the grunt*, that gets me chuckling heartily along, love that show. I remember watching it on first-runs back in the 1990s when I sat eating my dinner on a tray in the family room with my mum (along with other shows like Desmond's - about a West Indian family running a barber shop ... at least I think they were W.I's) on Channel 4 at like 6pm ... ahhh, classic.

See, this is why I go to the cinema with people I know like film as much as I do, or at least almost as much as I do - so I can discuss it with them on the same level.

Case-in-point.

Went to see the Hills Have Eyes remake with my friend Emma (who was the lass in "my NIGHTMARE" and "Trapped" by the way), and we just talked movies the whole way there and back and had a blast in the cinema.

Went to see Land of the Dead with fellow dead-head-pal Gareth "my NIGHTMARE"/"Smack Addict"/"VHS"/"I Am Zombie Man" Knox, and we had an absolute blast, we sat there jumping about in our seats, cackling horridly as the gore unfolded on screen, yelping "noiiice!" in hushed tones.

Went to see "The Break-Up" and "POTC2:DMC" with my sister ... well, that doesn't necessarily count in this particular context, as we're family - and strangely enough, we actually get along with each other, no fights or anything.

Went to see The Island with Knox, we both sat gawping at Scarlett Johansson, then saw Fantastic Four afterwards with him and Ben "Trapped"/"Smack Addict"/"VHS" Connell, when we all gawped at Jessica Alba.

I have very rarely gone to the cinema in a large group, no more than 2 other people usually.

Mind you, I went to see Shaun of the Dead with Emma's sister, Lucy, and she brought along a friend of hers, who I got the distinct impression wasn't at all impressed by me, or at least was totally up for leaving the age-barrier between us completely in tact, haha. Anyway ... we kept completely quiet during the film ... except for the audience-wide gut-blasting belly laughs ... then the evening was kinda f*cked up at the end as I spent an hour trying to leave Newport, unsuccessfully (including a dodgy trip of the other side of Newport (across the bridge), which was a bit shady), until I had to admit defeat and hang up my manly credentials and *sigh* ... ask for directions ... I felt like SUCH a f*cking plum ... needless to say I didn't risk going to the cinema with Lucy again for fear of her arsy mate calling me "the guy that got us lost" or some sh*t...:rolleyes:

[capncnut]

I remember watching it on first-runs back in the 1990s when I sat eating my dinner on a tray in the family room with my mum (along with other shows like Desmond's - about a West Indian family running a barber shop ... at least I think they were W.I's) on Channel 4 at like 6pm...
"PORKPIE!!!" :D

[MinionZombie]

"PORKPIE!!!" :D
EXACTLY...it reminds me of piss poor 1990's oven chips that tasted more like cardboard that anything else. It reminds me of sitting there knowing I had to drag upstairs to do homework after 7pm and that there was school the next day *sigh* ... but still, all memories worth saving. :)

[capncnut]

It reminds me of sitting there knowing I had to drag upstairs to do homework after 7pm and that there was school the next day *sigh*... but still, all memories worth saving.
There is nothing worse than that feeling. Open All Hours was a similar one for me. It was on Sunday evenings at like 8pm and just reminded me that I had to go to s**ty, wanky, bollocky school in the morning and that it would be nearly a week until I had another day off. Still, priceless memories though. :lol:

[MinionZombie]

Oh yeah, I used to watch repeats of Open All Hours as well, like Saturday or Sunday evenings, again - just reminding you that there was a whole week of school coming up ... *sigh* ... that feeling is absolutely awful isn't it?

Only gets better on Thursday evening when you've got one day left, and then at the end of that Friday it's the best thing ever, the world's your oyster, you've got all the time in the world ... well, 3 days, 1.5 proper days (without worrying about "tomorrow is school" anyway). So you get home quick smart, get changed, get a load of weekend-hooray snack food, chill the f*ck out, watch TV, surf, play videogames, watch the Friday night line up on Channel 4 and then tug one out to the Channel 5 porno. :lol:

That was back when I was a teen anyway...:D

[capncnut]

Damn when I was at school, TV stopped broadcasting at 12am and it was beddy-byes for the whole nation mate. :D