Debbieangel
18-Apr-2007, 02:33 AM
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
>>
>> 40-ish................49
>> Adventurous.................Slept with everyone
>> Athletic..........................No Boobs
>> Average looking....................Ugly
>> Beautiful..................................Patholo gical liar
>> Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
>> Emotionally Secure......................On medication
>> Feminist........................Fat
>> Free spirit....................................Junkie
>> Friendship first..........................Former slut
>> Fun...................................Annoying
>> New-Age................Body hair in the wrong places
>> Old-fashioned.......................No BJs
>> Open-minded............................Desperate
>> Outgoing.....................Loud and Embarrassing
>> Passionate....................Sloppy drunk
>> Professional.........................Bitch
>> Voluptuous.................Very Fat
>> Large frame.................................Hugely Fat
>> Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
>>
>> WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
>>
>> 1. Yes = No
>> 2. No = Yes
>> 3. Maybe = No
>> 4. We need = I want
>> 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
>> 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
>> 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
>> 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
>> 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
>> 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever
>>think about?
>>
>> MEN'S ENGLISH:
>>
>> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
>> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
>> 3. I am tired = I am tired
>> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
>> 5. I love you = Let's have sex now!
>> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
>> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
>> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
>> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with
>>you
>> 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with
>>you
>> 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
:lol:
A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk!
You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.
She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend? "I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!"
She then asked Mitchell what he had done "I took a ride on a choo-choo."
She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words."
She then asked Alex what he had done?
"I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said.
"What book did you read?"
Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride, and said,
"Winnie the ****." :lol: :lol:
>>
>> 40-ish................49
>> Adventurous.................Slept with everyone
>> Athletic..........................No Boobs
>> Average looking....................Ugly
>> Beautiful..................................Patholo gical liar
>> Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
>> Emotionally Secure......................On medication
>> Feminist........................Fat
>> Free spirit....................................Junkie
>> Friendship first..........................Former slut
>> Fun...................................Annoying
>> New-Age................Body hair in the wrong places
>> Old-fashioned.......................No BJs
>> Open-minded............................Desperate
>> Outgoing.....................Loud and Embarrassing
>> Passionate....................Sloppy drunk
>> Professional.........................Bitch
>> Voluptuous.................Very Fat
>> Large frame.................................Hugely Fat
>> Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
>>
>> WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
>>
>> 1. Yes = No
>> 2. No = Yes
>> 3. Maybe = No
>> 4. We need = I want
>> 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
>> 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
>> 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
>> 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
>> 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
>> 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever
>>think about?
>>
>> MEN'S ENGLISH:
>>
>> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
>> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
>> 3. I am tired = I am tired
>> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
>> 5. I love you = Let's have sex now!
>> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
>> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
>> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
>> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with
>>you
>> 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with
>>you
>> 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
:lol:
A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk!
You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.
She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend? "I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!"
She then asked Mitchell what he had done "I took a ride on a choo-choo."
She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words."
She then asked Alex what he had done?
"I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said.
"What book did you read?"
Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride, and said,
"Winnie the ****." :lol: :lol: