Moon pies with corn dogs on a hot summer night .

[DVW5150]

If food came in plastic packages then we'd all be happier . The Federal Government is cracking down on plastic disposal food in cartons bigger than a bread box .
Violators will be shot on sight for infraction of this law.
Keep your food in tupperware (patented burp) because you never know if your gonna need to keep that food out of harms way .
Eating with a fork has become dangerous according to the Government .
Reports are coming in that people are stabbing themselves with forks in thier eyes , noses & cheeks .
Film & Video at 3:34 am so wait here until its in the pipe ...
( this was supposed to be in the Lounge , but I posted from work , so I was distracted by plastic food containers when I had chosen where to post ...)
Ever feel like a comic that refuses to admit failure?
Where is that Apollo theater hook-stick when you need it?

[capncnut]

Eating with a fork has become dangerous according to the Government. Reports are coming in that people are stabbing themselves with forks in thier eyes, noses & cheeks.
Eating with a fork has become whaa? That's gotta be a joke surely. Who would be dumb enough to shove a forkful of mashed potato and peas up their nose? :confused:

[fartpants]

how about chopsticks then , they are way more deadly...

[Yorkie]

Eating with a fork has become dangerous according to the Government .
Reports are coming in that people are stabbing themselves with forks

It's true only the other day I was eating my lunch at work and got distracted and stabbed myself in the hand instead of stabbing the sausage on my plate, unfortunately I had to have the rest of the beautiful sunny day off work due to the trauma of the incident :sneaky:





Oh by the way the above is all fictional but might have to try it next week :D

[Cody]

shot on sight eh?

[coma]

I stab myself in the face with a fork all the time and end up with flood on my shirt and all over the floor. Awesome!


Eating with a fork has become whaa? That's gotta be a joke surely. Who would be dumb enough to shove a forkful of mashed potato and peas up their nose? :confused:Thats called Bangers and mash isnt it? Mash Taters and Peas as a stand alone dish is something you would miss here becasue its just not served anywhere even in Irish and British Pubs.

[fartpants]

how can anyone stab themselves with a fork while eating...

[coma]

how can anyone stab themselves with a fork while eating...
Because Im legally blind. Close your eyes and try to eat and tell me what happens next
:rolleyes:

[fartpants]

fair point bro... ( but how do you read the forums ?)

[coma]

fair point bro... ( but how do you read the forums ?)
With difficulty:p

The "enlarge text" buttons on Firefox is my best friend.
I also have a couple of (not very good) screen magnifyers.
Some days I see better than others. If I move my head around I can find a sweet spot. I have blood clots that block my vision (rare disease) amongst other wierd and awful .things .and My depth perception sucks. Though I draw better than I used to do. I guess I am more motivated to not fail.

The upshot is girls are a lot better looking to me
BAd skin? Who Cares!
Cottage Cheese butt? If I cant feel it, I dont know it:D

Also Firefox has a built in spell checker that helps alot, cause Im in typo hell (cant see the key board too well). I look totally normal so people cant tell I cant see well. That causes problems, but I am not wearing those ugly big ass sunglasses. Im way too pretty for that:D

[darth los]

how about chopsticks then , they are way more deadly...



Only in the hands of a trained master.:p


This is what happens when you have big gov't. They start sticking their noses in everything and try to regulate it. Honestly, we're really not "free" to do anything. We're only free to do what they tell us to. Think about it:confused: none of our freedoms are absolute and can be taken away in a flash.:eek:

[fartpants]

sad but true Darth...:mad:

[darth los]

The "true" things in life are usually sad my friend. People would much rather have a rosy scenario painted for them that isn't true than face the harsh realities of life. Life is ugly, what else can i say?:rolleyes:

[Danny]

I stab myself in the face with a fork all the time and end up with flood on my shirt and all over the floor. Awesome!

Thats called Bangers and mash isnt it? Mash Taters and Peas as a stand alone dish is something you would miss here becasue its just not served anywhere even in Irish and British Pubs.


uh, no bangers and mash is mashed potatoes and sausages, usually liberally drowned in gravy.



peas?, really?, damn thats wierd.:rockbrow:

[coma]

uh, no bangers and mash is mashed potatoes and sausages, usually liberally drowned in gravy.



peas?, really?, damn thats wierd.:rockbrow:
I have definately see Peas and MAshed 'taters. Maybe its from another region?

Mashed Potatoes and Sausages with tons O' gravy is kinda wierd too. In the "My Stomach is killing me, wheres the toilet" kinda way:p

[capncnut]

Bangers 'n mash can be either with gravy, onions or (my fave) peas. Saying that, Hellz is just a smidge north of where I am so it probably is a regional thing.

Bangers, mash and peas f**king rocks, had it last night mate. :thumbsup:

[coma]

Bangers 'n mash can be either with gravy, onions or (my fave) peas. Saying that, Hellz is just a smidge north of where I am so it probably is a regional thing.

Bangers, mash and peas f**king rocks, had it last night mate. :thumbsup:
Thanks! I knew it!:lol:

Hellsing's wrong and I'm right! Nyah, Nyah Nyah Nyah!:moon:

I like British food, though Black Pudding is NASTY:p

[Philly_SWAT]

how can anyone stab themselves with a fork while eating...

Well, the other day there was a fly in the house. I went to grab a flyswatter, but accidently grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed my girlfriend 69 times. So I could see how people could accidentally stab themselves with forks......

[fartpants]

well Philly i hope she saw the funny side...

[darth los]

Well, the other day there was a fly in the house. I went to grab a flyswatter, but accidently grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed my girlfriend 69 times. So I could see how people could accidentally stab themselves with forks......


You'll all look back on this one day and laugh. :lol: :lol: Ah, good times. :)

[DVW5150]

Because Im legally blind. Close your eyes and try to eat and tell me what happens next
:rolleyes:

Was it Sienfeld that said he would be terrified of eating being blind because,
"There could be bugs in my food and I wouldnt see it."

This is serious, Proctor & Gamble has issued a recall of all its plastic containers. Going all the way back to the mid nineteen-sixties.There is no procedure for search by serial numbers on the containers, because Proctor & Gamble didnt start serial numbers on the containers until 1970.
Federal officials are setting up emergency sites all over the country to round up these dangerous objects.
Federal authority chairman Clancy O'Reilly says, " The sooner the better we get these devices of food storage out of the publics hands. There have been reports of food storage violations all over the eastern seaboard.
The President will make an emergency address to the country at 3 pm on the next monday that is the 15th of that month."says authority chair O'Reilly.
" People should be aware of their surroundings. Stay in your homes & follow the federal instructions for food container disposal."

Detachments of your local Homeland Security, Federal Agencies & National Guard will be inspecting civilian homes soon.

Mona Clydesdale of Parsipany NJ is frightened," I just want my Tupperware back." Says Mona ,47.
" My cat, Toonces is sad because there is no way to keep his leftover food fresh in the fridge ."

Mr. Don Miller of Fort Lauderdale FL says," I am trying to get through this.We have to stick together."Says Mr. Miller, 72.

An undisclosed source says there are rumors of attacks by these plastic containers.
Bill Carson of Omaha Nebraska, was found at his home, supposedly partially devoured, but walking around his home by his aunt Betty Loomis. No one would respond to our request for an interview.

Will the Government be able to stop this atrocity ? Can we count on our leaders to eradicate this horror ?